Bacon University
Not to be confused with Beacon University in Club Penguin!
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| Bacon University | |
|---|---|
 Where penguins are trained to become, ahem, stupid! | |
| Key details | |
| Type | University |
| Level | -9,000 |
| Location | Waffleland |
| Inhabitants | The teachers and their classes, plus those annoying zombies downstairs |
Bacon University is Waffleland's only university, where some of the world's strangest penguins work as teachers. Strangely, most of the janitors are smarter then the teachers and the strategy classes are excellent, with many of Antarctica's greatest generals having graduated from here. It used to be a very poor university until the janitors became the teachers and the teachers were fired. However it is not for this but the zombie infestation in it's basement that makes it one of the msot famous universities in the world.
Background[edit]
The Bacon University was founded on May 1st by the Waffliean government, who decided that they needed a university in order to train penguins to become model Waffliean citizens and do great things.
However, the university had to be finished by the 10th (thanks to a undocumented Penguin OS error that also caused the Waffliean government to switch to Doors 7) and that didn't leave much time for building, so they quickly set it up in an old rundown mansion, painted it red with white strips and stood back to observe.
"H3y, 1t 100k$ k1nd4 l1k3 64(0n!" shouted one of the painters, and it was christened the Bacon University, with him as headmaster of the university.
This was the dumbest thing they had done all day, and with him in charge, he hired all the painters on the spot as teachers.
Bad idea, as they were all imported from the nearby mental institute, and most of them had an IQ of 10.
If all Wafflieans are insane, the ones in their mental institutes must be logically REALLY stupid.
However, in that crowd of idiots, there was a penguin name James Pyke.
James Pyke had ended up in the mental institute by accident, even though he was a brilliant penguin.
He was known to have schooled himself in strategy, won awards from Snowzerland for helping during their wars, made a telegraph using only stone-age materials, and other various achievements.
The headmaster put him as one of the many janitors (who by the way were the smartest in the university), and Warren Lockwood became the strategy teacher.
Big mistake.
Soon Warren was replaced by Pyke and the university became THE place to go if you wanted to join the military someday.
However, the rest of the university wasn't so lucky.
The teachers were terrible, and often the clueless classes were smarter then their even more clueless teachers.
Within days the teachers were replaced by the old janitors and fired, and the university became a much better place, though none of the sections were better then the strategy.
Strangely, the new janitors that replaced the ones that were the new teachers were SMARTER then the old janitors and it is predicted that someday, they'll become the new teachers.
However soon an even bigger problem then inept staff arose.
Zombies!
A mischievous student had bombarded a teacher with water balloons and ran downstairs to hide.
When he got down there, he hid inside a steel barrel and waited until night, when he could sneak back upstairs.
When he awoke, he heard footsteps coming towards the barrel and he peeped out, hoping that it was one of his friends or even one of the teachers, for he was scared down here and creepy noises kept coming from the boiler room.
At first, he could see nothing, but then, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw what was making the noise.
It was a zombie!
He jumped out and ran upstairs with almost superpenguin speed and told the staff.
They quickly went to the downstairs door and sealed it, so that no zombies could ever get out.
Map[edit]
Places[edit]
The University is composed of 13 floors, each with 10 classrooms.
Each floor is "owned" by a particular "subject group", and each classroom is for a subdivision of that subject.
The floor numbering starts as main and then goes up to 1, so that floor 13 appears to be floor 12.
It also contains a cellar, and the doors are bolted because of a zombie infestation that grows in size every 5 hours.
In the basement there is also a portal to the Ghost Dimension, which is hidden inside a dirty toilet that nobody uses.
Inhabitants[edit]
- The Headmaster
- The Teachers
- The Janitors
- The Students
- James Pyke
Villains[edit]
- Warren Lockwood
Zombies[edit]
The cellar of Bacon University is known to have a very unusual kind of infestation, a zombie infestation.
They live down there in the deep blackness, where they multiply like something called rabbits and slowly but surely build up an army that would have the potential to take over the world (or at least, get them a fresh supply of brains).
They feed on the various tidbits and scraps that they can find down there and dig tunnels with which they could eventually use to break out of the cellar into the outside world.
Trivia[edit]
- The Zombie infestation in the cellar is not a major problem, yet. By the year 2040, the basement will (by current estimates) be so full of zombies that the heavy iron doors will burst open, sending a flood of Zombies out to terrorize Waffleland.
- Fudd Lapooh has put small portals to the ghost dimension inside the toilets of the university so that the university doesn't have to deal with expensive plumbing. This was actually a prank, as whenever something is flushed down the toilet, it falls onto some poor ghost's head. Ewwwwwwww...
