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OMG I NEED MORE MONEH!
|Title||Retired (annoying) Tour Guide|
|Faction||Former Tour Guide, now employer.|
|Status||Eating some ice cream|
|Location||Large celebrity igloo|
|Birth date||March 10, 1946|
|Occupation||Staring at his shoes|
|Catchphrase||LOOK AT MAI SHOES!|
Not to be confused with Bernie the Tour Guide, who still is a tour guide.
|“||LOOK AT MAI SHOES!||”|
— Bernie, Retired &
Bernie Iama "Ahnoiying" Toorguidus (real name Ben Sucha Fisherguin, more commonly referred to as Bernie) is a retired tour guide, who is the employer for the famous band The Crash. Nobody knows what his real feather colour is, as he likes to dye them different colours (brown, orange, green, etc) and has confused many penguins.
Early LifeBernie hatched by the name of Ben Sucha Fisherguin to two penguins, who happened to be careless. Sadly, when the parents accidently let the egg roll off a cliff, Bernie hatched mid-air and landed severely (on his head) on a large pile of snow. Luckily, Bernie was still safe and was rescued by his parents, who then took him home. The impact from the fall had made it difficult to remember, and got slightly dim-witted as a result. He lived in his hometown (possibly Shiverpool) for 3 years, until a trip to Club Penguin had the poor chick lost in the Gift Shop, until he was adopted by two tour guides, and changed his name to Bernie Iama Toorguidus, because of difficulties of discovering his real name. They sent him to ordinary school (like most penguins at the time) until he was 11, to teach him what the joys of being a tour guide was.
However, all this teaching got Bernie motivated to become a tour guide. When Bernie was 12, he tried to get a tour hat...by shamelessly stealing it and making tours. He had to be consoled to snap out of his tour guide-ish mode, and when he once saw Bernie the Tour Guide annoying penguins to the point of madness, Bernie now had to go and get his hat. When he finally found the post at the Ski Village, he began taking the test. First, he got 4 answers correct. Now 5. Then at the extremely close number of 7, but he just couldn't get it right. When a penguin that was too friendly for his own good came and helped Bernie out, nobody noticed that Bernie was actually unable to pass the test. Finally, he earned his tour guide hat and began making tours.
However, the tours were inaccurate and usually gave outdated information, such as "This is the land of Lord Guin!" or "This is Old Town. Wait, where is it?", and annoyed penguins. He worked as a tour guide until he was at the age of 30, when a mischievous penguin proved that he didn't pass the test and was giving incorrect and/or outdated information, and lost his job as a tour guide.
Bernie roamed the streets homeless, trying to earn coins from kind penguins. He often entered the lottery to earn coins, when one day...he won over ten thousand coins! He was now able to employ anybody, and soon bought proper clothes to disguise his past. A month passed, when two suspicious penguins wanted him as an employer (whose names were Top "the" Headon and Mick Phones), which Bernie agreed to. A year later, the two penguins went out to find one more penguin, and that night they brought back Foe Stummer, who had to agree to be paid by Bernie. Bernie soon found a suitable area to stage their performance which was in Snowdon. Suddenly, a week before the performance, it was revealed that Top "the" Headon had disappeared. and Bernie went out to search for a replacement. He came back to the hotel with Since Hight, who helped make the band a success. After playing 3 more times at the very same area, they all soon moved to Antarctica, where he and his trusty employees reside to this day.
(Bernie is busy stuffing himself with doughnuts at his desk, when Foe Stummer appears.)
Foe: Hi Bernie! What's up?
(Bernie, thinking he is caught eating doughnuts, slowly turns around in his chair to see his employee's face.)
Bernie: IEHGJA DJGHA SDHJK! (translation: HI THERE FOE!)
(Stummer's face turns in a surprised one, then finally into an annoyed one.)
Foe: HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU NOT TO CREEP ME OUT LIKE THAT?!?
(Slightly enraged, he kicks Bernie and the chair, which breaks through the wall.)
(Finally, Bernie and the chair crash-lands onto a car.)
Nobody currently knows what this faked photo was for, but there are rumours this was for a riot to get the Iceberg tipped for Club Penguin.
This was the only original photo he made, by dressing up in embarrassing clothes and falling into a tub of black paint. Rightfully, the creators of Pardon? stole it for their teaser trailer.
- Since Hight, Foe Stummer's guitar player, hates Bernie's shoes.