Bill Gate$' Big Adventure
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|Bill Gate'$ BIG adventure|
Bill Gate$ in a Wafflian jail getting his mugshot.
|Participants||Bill Gate$, Fudd and Director Benny along with a few others|
|Date||Unknown, maybe April 1st|
|Location||USA, BoF, Waffleland|
The BillGate tale started as a "marketing" scheme to make all computers run Doors 7 but ended up turning into a wild adventure
One ordinary day in the USA a human nerd called Bill Gate$ was discussing marketing strategies for Doors 7 with his employees. They were not having any luck and they decided to leave it in Bill's hands. After they all went to bed Bill tried to think of something. The hours ticked on and on and on until 12:00 when Gate$ thought of something.
Bill thought he was onto something. The next morning he announced his plan.
"I intend to FORCE everyone to u$e my operating $y$tem," he began, "and they will never $u$pect u$. The plan involve$ u$ing a modified ver$ion of a program known a$ the Wabbit Viru$. Unlike it$ predece$$or, it cannot be $ent through email however."
"But that will ruin it!"yelled one of his employees!
"They will never install it willingly and we can't just walk right into their houses! You're crazy!"
Bill Gate$ however was not about to give up.
"We can $end a highly trained agent to break into their house$ and will manually put it on! Who want$ to volunteer?"
No hands rose. Instead boos where heard from the workers.
"$TOP THAT!" yelled Bill Gate$, "it will work ju$t fine! And to prove it I will do it all my$elf! And you will all learn that I am un$toppable!"
Everyone cheered and celebrated and it got louder when a loud voice said
"HEY! Then old Bill will have to do ninja training which includes exercising 24 hours a day, eating 90% less and training to learn how Penguin OS works!".
"Oh no!" thought Bill Gate$, "What have I gotten my$elf into?I need to EXERCI$E, EAT LE$$ and LEARN PENGUIN O$!". But a moment later he forgot about that.
Two days later Bill Gate$ went to become a ninja.
He was sure that he could not fail. But when he arrived Sensei said
"Ninjas must not be Fat."
So back went
poor old Bill to the exercising room.
He lost 150 pounds and went back to the dojo where he was finally allowed to enter.
It took him one month to reach his white belt and 12 to get to the black one. By the end of that time nobody remembered Gate$ and most thought that he had left for America. He found that he had to walk his employees through the plan AGAIN and wear his ninja mask all the time.Finally when he was ready he put on his ninja mask and MMK uniform
First stop was Zapwire's place. Bill Gate$ the nerdy ninja climbed up a ladder which went into a window.
The ladder broke under the weight of his heavy uniform and he fell down twenty stories into a mud puddle.
His uniform was really dirty. He needed more practice. So he went back to the Dojo and became a fire ninja which took 5 minutes. After that he decided to go back to the house of Zapwire. This time he scaled the wall with a rope and it didn't break. Then he went down the chimney right into a blazing fire.
OUCH! Bill screamed as he quickly ran out of the fireplace into the computer room and put the modified wabbit virus on.
"YE$! MY FIR$T $UCE$$!" he yelled.
Just then a bag of tools fell from the ceiling and hit him on the head.
OUCH! All of a sudden Gate$ heard someone talking in the next room.
"I admit that was funny but it was too random! I DO NOT APPROVE!"
to which Fudd replied by throwing a cream pie at Benny. Bill ran outside into the night without stopping to listen and looked for his next victim.
The next morning Zapwire got up and got dressed. He had breakfast and then went into the computer room. As soon as he booted his computer he saw something strange. That wasn't Penguin OS, that was Doors 7!
"NOOOOOOO"! he yelled and ran as fast as he could to the MMK headquarters.
There he found out that most of them had the same thing happen to them and that it was even in the news.
There were people yelling in the streets and the telephone company's computers were jammed with all the phone calls. And strangely the Penguin OS website was hacked ON THE SAME DAY so that nobody could get it. The PSA and the EPF were sent to investigate but found no clues. The city was in chaos. Then the South Pole Council members stepped out. Then, just when they were about to make a speech a worker came running out saying
"The computers holding the speech for this time have been infected!"
Groans were heard throughout the crowd. Bill Gate$ was looking through his window smiling. "I heard cheer$!" he yelled.
"That was from the T.V, dude!"
yelled back his employees who were having a break.
"They are really screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs."
""WHAT‽ HOW COULD THI$ HAPPEN? Perhap$ I need to infect more computer$."
The employees smiled. That night Bill Gate$ went out to infect more computers. He went up to some houses and found that they all had security systems.
"Drat" he mumbled, "thi$ is $ure annoying."
Now ALL the houses in the city had good locks and ninja ropes would not work. So he went back to think of his next plan.
Of course! Old Bill was trying to spread his operating system! And since nobody would buy it, he decided to MAKE them have it! So Fudd came up with a plan.
The next night Gate$ went out to infect some more computers. He first went to Explorer's house.
It was locked.
Bill banged his crowbar on the lock. It slowly opened. He took a deep breath and went inside. He tiptoed slowly but suddenly stepped on something furry.
"WHY YOU *%$%#&%*#&^%*%#$&%! HOW DARE YOU STEP ON ME! &^%*%$#$*%^#$&%%^*$%$*^%!" the thing yelled, and he looked down to find a very angry Mabel.
Bill gasped. He was a member of the MMK, so he was one of her biggest fans. He turned and ran outside.
But he forgot that he was in Club Penguin, and of course there is lots of snow and ice. He slipped on a patch of ice, flipped over and slid right into a garbage bin.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" he yelled as the garbage collector picked up the can and put it into his truck.
He drove through the night with Bill still yelling in the back. Just then Bill felt the truck stop.
The driver got out, picked up the garbage can and dropped it off at Penguin Micro's place. When the garbage collector left, Fudd came out, singing is latest song.
Then Bill started laughing. He laughed hard but it soon turned to yelling as he had to go to the bathroom. Then Fudd spoke started talking.
"Hey Mr. Gate$, I will let you out if you answer one question: did you put doors 7 on all those computers?"
Bill did not respond.
"Then to Micro Hard and Soft headquarters we go!" Fudd yelled, throwing the can all the way to headquarters.
Bill was pretty embarrassed as he tried to explain why he was back so early and had garbage all over himself.
The next night Bill Gate$ did not know what to do.
But first he needed to get there.
He called the partly insane puffle Fudd, in hopes that he could help him.
Fudd accepted,switched into Nerd mode, and tried to breach the security of the building.
"W311 13t's g3t st4rt3d. Th3r3 is n0 w4y 1ns1d3 un1ess y0u c4n typ3 1n th3 s3cur1ty c0d3. H3y, w31t 4 m1nut3, th3r3 1s a b1g h0l3 1n th3 w411!W0W! ! w1ll m4k3 4 p0rt4l t0 th3r3."
And with that, he made a portal to the hole in the wall.
Bill Gate$ stepped forward and vanished into the portal.
Of course, none of them had.
"I HOPE THAT THAT MEDDELING XTUX345 HASN'T MESSED WITH THE SCRIPT! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"
And with that, he started yelling punctuation marks for a few hours.
Bill arrived at the hole. It was rather dark inside, but after 25 minutes Gate$ managed to gather up the courage to go inside. He snuck inside and arrived inside a hall. Inside there were many workers, doing their duties almost roboticly. He kept walking untill he came to a room that said
"DO NOT ENTER OR ELSE!"
He knew that he just had to enter. So he walked inside and found a computer with two buttons beside it.
"Now I ju$t have to turn it on and in$tall Door$ 7."
He pressed the on button. Suddenly red lights were flashing all over the building! Alert signs were popping up everywhere! And worst of all, EACH ONE HAD A PHOTO OF BILL GATE$ TRYING TO HACK A COMPUTER! Bill gasped. He was going to be caught.
All the workers stared at the signs and immediately rushed to the room.
They picked up Gate$ and threw him into a portal that led to Waffleland. The world went black for a moment, and then he appeared in the streets of Waffleland.
Suddenly at the sight of someone stupider then themselves the citizens started laughing. They laughed and laughed and laughed until someone yelled out
"M4K3 W4Y F0R Th3 L34D3R!"
Everyone bowed and the leader came, sitting on a throne with wheels.
"Y3S," replied one of his guards, "1T 1s h1m. 4r3n't y0u 4w3struck 6y h1s r0y41 PWN4g3?" he said, licking off the pie on his face he said, "L3T H1S M0ST R0Y41 1MP3R141 H1GHN3SS'S M4J3STY SP34K!"
Mr. Bean started mumbling in the language called "Gibberish" and a penguin standing beside him wrote it down and then began to speak saying:
"Mr. B34N S4YS: Murf gerff mumble shumble grumble str00del phoodel grumpydoodle foodle!" and with that they all cheered!
Then Mr. Bean shouted at everyone saying "LINK STOP LAUGHING MAH BOI!" and they started laughing. Clearly these weren't the brightest penguins.
Bill Gate$ had had enough and went to find their computers. He found that all the houses were locked but were made of Waffles.
So then he began to eat and eat and eat and eat until he was so fat that he could not move. Seeing this the people started laughing.
And then, adding insult to injury, he was then invited to take Mr. Bean's weight-loss program.
"WHAT?! THAT IS NOT A WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM! IT IS THE WORST ENGLISH I'VE EVER SEEN!" yelled Director Benny.
"I think that's that bally XTUX is behind this again, wot wot? And that isn't bally bad English, that is just a bally scam, wot wot?" replied Mcflapp.
"HEY! USE NORMAL ENGLISH AND NOT THAT BALLY-SPEAK OF YOURS! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!" and with that Director Benny threw himself at Mcflapp who narrated that "He was hit in the face with a bally boot!" and then a boot flew into Benny's face.
Meanwhile Bill Gate$ was being hooked up to a machine with all sorts of gears, wires and cogs on it.
"D0n't w0rry," said one of the servants, "1f y0u c4n't l0se w31ght 6y 3x3rc1s1ng, w3 w1ll r3m0v3 411 th3 f4t fr0m y0ur 60dy. Summ0n D0ct0r J0hn 84rr6uh!"
Doctor John Barrbuh entered the room. Never before had Bill Gate$ ever seen such a strange-looking penguin.
"Lots of fat that might be able to be removed with medicine? NEEDS SUURRGGEERRYY!" John yelled and turned on the machine!
Bill Gate$ started feeling drowsy fell asleep.
Suddenly (to Gate$) he woke up. He looked down and realised that he was no longer fat.
"HURRAY!" He yelled and leaped off the operating table.
But then he remembered his quest to put Doors 7 on all computers and tried to think of a way to escape the hospital. But first he had to find his ninja mask and MMK uniform. He would never leave in his pyjamas which he was wearing at the moment. So he looked and looked and looked until he saw someone leaving in his uniform! Bill Gate$ ran as fast has he could and caught the thief by the collar. He landed a left hook, a right hook, a north hook and a south hook (before he realised that they did not exist)at the figure and then he realised who he was punching.
Bill Gate$ froze in fear.
"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A NORTH OR SOUTH HOOK! I DO NOT APPROVE!" shouted Director Benny.
"I don't care," said a voice, "and you will get a cream pie in your face!"
Benny turned around to see where the voice came from.
It was Fudd!
"ARRRGGGGHHHH! STOP RUINING THE SCRIPT XTUX!" yelled Director Benny just a moment before he got a cream pie in his face.
Bill Gate$ suddenly realised who he punched.
It was Mr. Bean, the leader of this country wearing his purple leader-of-country suit!
Suddenly Gate$ realised that everyone was watching him with mad faces. He turned around and fled from the angry mob and tried to find his uniform. Bill Gate$ was making good progress adn then he ran straight into wall.
Bill Gate$ was flat on his face and his opponents were almost upon him. He stood up dizzily and ran into the waiting room. There he found his suit and mask. Later he got out and was walking down the street when he was arrested by the police. This was going to be a major problem.
At the Police station, Bill Gate$ was furious! They threw him straight into jail and then took him to court, but when he went to court the Judge (who happened to be Mr. Bean) said
"Mumble grumble fumble grumble LINK STOP LAUGHING MAH BOI! Grumble grumble bumble." which of course made no sense but was interpreted (incorrectly) as "He is GUILTY!".
When he received the food he threw it at the guard and took his Spam Bomb. He ran through the jail's halls, jumping over guards and breaking the doors until he had reached the exit.
Just then he saw a dark figure standing in the doorway. Thinking fast, Bill Gate$ took out his spam bomb and threw it at the penguin.
The spam bomb exploded, spreading spam everywhere and sending the penguin running home.
"YE$!" yelled Bill Gate$, running out the door.
Suddenly, he heard sirens and turned around to see 3 police cars chasing him.
He did not have any more spam bombs, but he did have some shampoo, so he sprayed their windshields with it. The Police cars steered out of control and crashed into each other.
Bill Gate$ was finally out of jail, but he still hadn't infected any computers yet in Waffleland. So he waited for nightfall.
When nightfall arrived, Bill Gate$ was ready. He grabbed his table knife (for cutting the waffles), his uniform and his teddy (to make him feel safe).
After arriving, he started cutting into a building.
Inside a news helicopter far above Bill Gate$, there was a penguin drinking pop.
"BURP! H3110 80ss! SLURP h0w 4r3 y0u BURP d01ng? SLURP!"
Voice on the radio:"HEY KID! STOP DRINKING POP WILL YA? JUST THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"
and with that he threw it out the window.
Bill Gate$ had infected 60 computers when he heard something falling. He looked up and then a look of terror appeared on his face.
He was covered in super sticky cream soda! Bill wasn't able to get it off, so he just went into a street corner to hide.
The next morning everyone got up and went to check their emails. Most of them were so stupid that they didn't even know that they were now using Doors.
But a few found out. Penguin Micro came running out into the streets saying
"T-t-t-he e-e-e-e-end-d-d of-f-f-f t-t-t-the w-w-world-d-d is-s-s-s-s c-c-c-omming!"
Of course, nobody listened. Nobody cared.
All was quiet on the streets in Waffleland. Bill Gate$ was making his way to the UnitedTerra
Suddenly, a large van with the name Str00del Force on it turned around the corner and started chasing Bill Gate$! It sped toward him and started spam bombs at him, covering Gate$ in the smelliest spam ever made!
The van soon caught up to him and a strange being floated out of the vehicle towards Bill.
"H3ll0 B1ll G4t3$! W0u1d y0u l1k3 t0 c0m3 1ns1d3 4nd h4v3 s0m3 w4ff13s?"
Bill Gate$ sighed in relief. They had not come to arrest him, they wanted to eat waffles with him
"00ps! W3 4r3 0ut 0f w4ff13s! C0uld th3 Pr0f3ss0r Shr00msky pl34s3 t4k3 us t0 t0wn s0 wh3 c4n buy s0me w4ff1es?"
Professor Shroomsky agreed and in the little van they sped away.
"B1ll G4t3$, I s33 s0m3 W1ld T3dd13s 0uts1d3. W0u1d y0u l1k3 t0 f33d th3m?"
Bill Gate$ did not like cute things, but he decided to feed them.
"Here teddy teddy teddy, here teddy teddy teddy."
Little did he know that there was one right behind him, and it decided that his pants looked very yummy.
Suddenly, Captain Str00del pulled out a strange machine and started yodelling while banging his hand against a purple rock
"Now THAT was DEFINITELY not in the script! I DO NOT APPROVE!" yelled Director Benny.
"STOP IT!" yelled back Fudd, "XTUX WROTE THE SCRIPT AND HE CAN EDIT IT!"
"ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH! WHEN WILL THAT XTUX STOP GETTING IN MY WAY!" yelled Director Benny (AGAIN) as he threw everything he could get his grasp on at Fudd.
Fudd appeared in a flash and managed to stop the Captain's crazy banging and yodelling. He then tried to chase away the teddy with his staff, but only succeeded in dumping a bucket of water on himself.
Fudd was unable to feel anger and threw the bucket at the beast. It retreated into its hole and left them alone.
"W3ll th3n Mr. G4t3$, w0u1d y0u l1k3 t0 g0 0ut f0r d1nn3r?" asked Captain Str00del?
Bill Gate$ agreed, and together they drove down the bumpy road.
BUMP BUMP BUMP!
BUMP BUMP BUMP!
BUMP BUMP BUMP!
This went on for a while until..
BUMP BUMP BUMP!
"HURRA-""DON'T $AY THAT AGAIN YOU NITWIT!" yelled the very annoyed Bill Gate$.
"00ps! S0rry Mr. G4t3s!" replied Captain Str00del.
It was pitch black outside when they finally reached a town where they stopped for the night. Bill Gate$ saw a five-star hotel and decided to go there when he saw the others go to a run-down old hotel.
"Why 4r3 y0u g01ng th3r3?" asked the Str00del Force members.
"It i$ much better over here and I can pay for it." replied Bill Gate$.
"0ver h3r3 w3 c4n h4v3 w4ff13s f0r br34kf4st!"
Bill Gate$ jumped in surprise. He LOVED waffles more then his own mother, so he ran as fast as he could to the junky old building and stayed there for the night.
Bill Gate$ woke up in a fright. A water pie had burst above him and now he was soaking wet!
Quickly he got a rag from a chair and plugged the hole.
"HEY! GIMME BACK MY SPECIAL CLOTH!" yelled a voice from behind, and Bill Gate$ turned around to see a very angry innkeeper.
Quickly he handed back the rag and plugged the hole with his socks. Now he could go back to sleep.
Suddenly he heard a loud noise. He turned around and saw to his surprise that everyone in the room was snoring!
He got up and turned them on their sides. Finally he could go back to sleep.
One by one they all rolled onto their backs.
They were all snoring again! So Bill Gate$ spent the rest of the night awake.
The next morning at 12 o'clock they were STILL sleeping. Bill Gate$ tried to wake them.
First he tried the alarm. Then he tried shouting.
Then he started punching and kicking and screaming but still to no avail. So he gave up and went downstairs to get some waffles.
He left the door open a crack and the "delicious" smell of burnt waffles drifted into the room.
"W4FF13S! Y4Y! G3T UP 3V3RY0N3!"
Suddenly they all awoke and raced down the stairs and grabbed all the waffles and ate them all. Bill groaned.
He would have to go hungry this morning.
When they all finished eating, they piled into the van and drove away. Things were looking pretty good until they heard a siren behind them.
"Th3 C0ps! Run 1 m34n dr1v3 f0r y0ur l1v3s!"
The police started chasing them, and the Str00del's van suddenly started speeding away from them!
"ST0P Y0U TH31V3S 0R W3'11 SH00T!" yelled the police, who were starting to catch up to them.
The van was going as fast as it could go, and the police were right behind them! The police, who realised that they would not slow down, decided to start going at top speed too.
However, they got a little TOO close, and rammed into the back of the van!
Thankfully the van was very durable and took almost no damage from it, otherwise they would have been in serious trouble.
Suddenly Captain Str00del shouted "TURN! TURN! TH3R3'S 4 CL1FF UP 4H34D 4ND W3'11 H1T 1T 1F W3 D0N'T!"
Sadly his belated warning was a little too late and the van went hurtling over the cliff!
"W3'R3 G0NN4 D13!"
"W3'R3 ST1LL F4LL1NG?!"
"H3y 1 cou1d us3 4 sn4ck r1ght n0w..."
And it kept falling for FOUR HOURS! Until...
"H4s 4ny0n3 s33n th3 b0tt0m y3t?
"Nope, a$ $ure a$ my name i$ Bill Gate$"
"W311 th3n, why d0n't w3 g3t 0ut th3 c0k3?"
"H3y 1 th1nk th4t 1 s4w th3 b0tt0m guys."
"Oh, rat$, I wa$ just about to open the coke..."
and with that they fell through a roof into a large public swimming pool. When they came out, they were soaking wet, and to make matters worse, the police were waiting outside for them.
"H3y," said one of the policepenguins, "th0s3 4r3 str00del force m3mb3rs. Th3y ST4RT3D th1s c0untry!"
The policepenguins bowed, and escorted them into a fancy restaurant.
"BUT N0T Y0U, B1ll G4T3$, Y0U W1LL G0 B4CK T0 J41L!" and the police handcuffed
poor old Bill and took him back to the police station.
This time they put extra-heavy guard on him, and they took care to not let any spam bombs get smuggled into the jail. They had Johnathan Wolfhunter and Lian Lapooh for his guards, and they watched him day and night.
The next day they took Bill Gate$ to court. He was found guilty of all crimes and was sentenced to pay 2000000 fish, as well as repair all the computers he infected.
He was set free the next morning,and learned a lesson he never forgot.
Never feed wild teddy bears.
"WHAT?!" shouted Director Benny, "THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ENDING! THAT ANNOYING XTUX HAS BEEN MESSING WITH THE SCRIPT AGAIN!"
"Quit yellin' and start ignoring it, Ben. Just enjoy the story." replied Fudd.
"I DON'T CARE! THAT IS NOT IN THE SCRIPT! I DO NOT APPROVE!" and with that, Director Benny changed the sentence.
Never feed wild teddy bears.
Never mess with the story or you'll get ridiculous endings (like this one)
- Fudd's ballad "The tale of Bill Gate'$ BIGGEST BLUNDER" became an award-winning song and a cult favourite.
- Bill Gate$ spent the next two months fixing all the computers he had infected, and gave up on marketing Doors.
- Mister Bean banned Bill Gate$ from his country and his reason was "grumble mumble grumble LINK STOP LAUGHING MAH BOI! mumble grumble mumble".
- Penguin OS became even more popular then ever before.
- Three Mcdonalds City residents were also arrested because they helped Gate$. They were imprisoned for 5 months. It wasn't known until March 13, 2015