Billy Mays

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Billy Mays
Billy Mays image.PNG
Billy Mays
Title Advertisement Guru
Gender Male
Race Bean Human
Faction Str00del Force
Level Oxyclean!
Status Deceased
Location OxyGrave, Centriepistula
Occupation Salesman
Catchphrase Hi, Billy Mays here!
Powers Various incredible products.
Abilities His amazing loud voice.
Friends You and everyone!
Enemies Vince Offer

The late Billy Mays was is a strange, confirmed Bean Human who somehow entered the USA. He wears a blue shirt, and always seems to yell. He is a member of the Str00del Force.


Billy Mays recently joined the Str00del Force after he discovered Mister Bean was a member. He crossed through to the USA Bean introduced him to The Captain and was accepted to join as the Str00del's advertiser. He now walks around the USA, airing his ads on television.

He is by far one of the most popular and well-liked humans of all time.

Billy Mays was granted the honor of full citizenship, and is the only human to have ever done so.


thumb|300px|right|One of Billy Mays's commercials. See if you can pinpoint the steps of Billy's usual commercial layout (to left) in this video.

  • Billy Mays' advertisements can be broken down into this pattern.
    • Billy will show the product.
    • He will show it in action.
    • He will show the product in comparison to "the leading brand".
    • He will show the "secret" to the product's success, and if on television, will use a close-up simulation to do so.
    • He would then show the product being used to its limits, usually screaming "IT HAS THE STRENGTH TO...", and finishing with "now that's the power of [product name]!".
    • He will sum up the product, then double or triple the offer, usually resulting in gallons of product.
    • He will finally state that "it can all be yours for [seven easy payments] of 700 pebbles!"


On May 25, 2015, about 6 years after his death, Skeletal came to the Oxygrave where Billy Mays was buried and spread the Skeleton Virus around his grave. Two days later, Skele-Billy Mays rose from the grave, much to Skeletal's delight. With Skeletal's control over Skeleton Creatures, he immediately joined his army. He and Skeletal work together to work on a product called Oxytomb, many believe that it's a magical tombstone that keeps the grave from being invaded, when in reality, it has Skeleton Virus that will infect the corpse smeared on it.

Fan Base[edit]

Though a Str00del, Billy Mays is actually well known by several creatures in Antarctica.

Fans include, but are not limited to:


  • Will Whitefoot said: "He's probably the best spokesperson I've ever seen, because he's the only spokesperson I ever heard."
  • Lobelia Sackville said: "Kaboom, and my hearing was gone." (We are suprised she didn't insult him)
  • King Triskelle said: "Apparently Billy Mays was not pleased that I was not putting his cleaning products to good use due to the fact that my lavatory still looked like rubbish. So he showed up at my summer house in a very clean white van at around 14:00. At first I was very pleased to see Billy come to my summer house because barely anyone comes to my summer house without invitation because I talk too much about my old stories and that. Anyways, Billy started walking towards me with his trademark smiling bearded face. As I got my self ready to greet him he started shouting loudly "FOR ONLY FIVE HUNDRED FYRO MORE YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT THE EXTRA STRENGTH CLEANER FOR YOUR RUBBISH LAVATORY!!!!" I was totally shocked and confused, I stood there in shock and confusement! Then before I knew it Billy rushed back to his van, whipped out a huge EXTRA VALUE TUB of Oxipie, and threw it right in my face."
  • A penguin named "Captain Obvious" said this: "Billy Mays sells things on Television."
  • A penguin named "Captain Understatement" said: "On average, Billy Mays talks slightly louder than the average penguin."
  • There's more from a penguin named "Captain Oblivious": "Who? I might have seen him on Telly once or twice."
  • Another penguin named "Captain Understanding" said:"Billy Mays makes good voice commands."
  • Billy Mays said:"I LIKE THE SOUND OF MY VOICE".
  • Blizzard said: "His products work wonders. My Sensei hat was damaged in the pie war, but with the help of one of his products it's as good as new."
  • Tails6000 said: "He is outstanding! Once my hot sauce machine gun was out of ammo and there was none to be seen. And then after five seconds he gave me more ammo! He is so useful! And also why did he hit King Triskelle with a tub of oxipies? I will never know."
  • Sprocket said: "My ninja belt was lost in the mail, so Billy Mays used the FindeyFinder like he used it on TV and found it! Go Billy Mays!"
  • Kwiksilver said: "For years I've been trying to find a way to make nachos taste better. Billy Mays showed me the TastyTicTac, and it worked just like magic!"
  • Jason Steed said: "Billy dude is like- wack. He lies about everything. That's why I choose ShamOMG!."
  • Alebettina said, "Funny person....."
  • Belldranit said: "He made my ears ring. He is LOUD!"
  • Verpirate said "Zorbeez helped me swab the deck!"
  • Speeddasher said: "His products are simply amazing. I was once in charge of polishing the floors of the Dojo. I never liked the job, but once he showed me Orange Glow, I finished the job in lighting speed. Buy this guys products!"
  • Matthews said: "He's so scary, so loud!"
  • King Candy said: "Wow, I bought a cleaning item from Billy Mays for 20 pebbles and it cleaned my whole candy factory! Amazing!"
  • Eborpas said: "I used his fungus facial lotion and when I acted in the movie, hundreds commented on my beautiness and questioned me what lotion I used. They all started buying his facial lotion, with disasterous results becuase they weren't mushrooms. Well, except Shroomsky."
  • A penguin named "Pillehoe" commented: "Diana112's facial feathers were so smooth! I bought 17 packs and I am the star of my school!"
  • Cabel said: "Oxipies were delicious! Only till I blew up..."
  • Maddieworld said : "Acting is hard work... I like his product about the facial lotion. It was very useful."
  • A Very Fat Penguin Haters member said: "Although Diana111 uses it, I still like his facial lotion product because it was very nice!"
  • Abel von Injoface said : "He sold me a sofa and it was extremely comfy, I bought another one, even thouhgh I have no use for it!"
  • Xorai said : "He sold me a cloning machine, and I created MORE XORAI CLONES!"
  • Jolene Tan said : "His paint tools made the best colours! I bought them again, and again, till I have a room full of Billy May's paint tools."
  • Alex12345a said : "Very good products. Very loud voice."
  • Hannah Montana said : "Billy Mays is so loud say WHAT?!?"
  • Flystar55555 said : "If everyone says all of his products work, I will buy them all!"
  • Professor Shroomsky commented: He's a great friend, a great human. I love his products. OxyClean is what keeps my clothing so fresh and clean!
  • Mech Rider said: I owe a lot to Billy Mays.His Oxipie was perfect ammo for my Mech.
  • Willy the Penguin said: Billy Mays sold a lot of great stuff, and all of it worked!
  • Bean pod 600 said :wow! these things actually work! I got a real gravity gun!

It was awesome. I can now change the lightbulb without using a ladder!

  • Wikipenguino45 said : "Wow. I can't believe this stuff actually works."
  • Falco said (while other penguins try to restrain him): PIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!
  • Mcdonalds394 said: Hmmm, I wonder if it actually does work by the contrary...


  • He passed away on June 28th, 2009. He became a Skeleton Creature on May 25th, 2015.
  • Unlike Mister Bean, C actually likes Billy Mays; he sold the ghost "vacuum proof mittens". It turns out they actually work!
  • For some odd reason, every product Billy Mays has ever sold to creatures in Antarctica have always worked as he said they would. Weird, huh?
  • He made a major cameo in The Great Darktonian Pie War, demonstrating the power of "Oxipie".
  • He is the only Human so far to become an official citizen of the USA.
  • Belldranit didn't like Billy Mays because he always yells.
  • When Skele-Billy is advertising, he usually puts on a robe and a mask to hide that he is a skeleton, he also goes under the name Phil Swift.

See Also[edit]

On behalf of the Club Penguin Fanon Wiki, rest in peace, Billy Mays.