Box Dimension

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Box Dimension
The Boz Dimension.png
Welcome to the Box Dimension. This is mysterious place is the source of all boxes. Please leave the laws of physics at the door.
Key details
Location Bureau of Fiction Facility, Basement B
Inhabitants Boxes, Box Creator, McLacker, Herman, box dragons, orange puffles, tourists


The Box Dimension is a strange world that is contained in the Bureau of Fiction's basement. Larger on the inside than it appears from the outside, the Box Dimension is used as a storage area, containing millions of unused BoF files stacked up in boxes (hence the name). Many times, penguins will abuse the endless storage of the Box Dimension and dump something that isn't paperwork down there. All sorts of valuables may lurk within the Dimension, just waiting to be unsealed.
Laymen accidentally discovered it, thanks to G. He managed to create a portal to it during the April Fools Party. Daring adventurers have explored deep into its cardboard-inundated depths, but none have ever returned.

It's one of the only truly efficient implements in the Bureau. The designer was scolded very heavily and assigned to a secondary job afterwards: scrubbing toilets.

Background[edit]

A bureaucracy that runs the entire universe is certainly more frustrating than, say, one supreme being just letting it come forth. (Some universes have all the luck.) One characteristic of a bureaucracy is paperwork. If paperwork in a mere mortal's bureaucracy slows the service down by months, imagine what an almight one has to go through!

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork! The stacks are endless. There is paperwork on things as mundane to the color of some random penguin's personality to as complex as the recoded DNA sequence allowing for avian hair (volume one of fifty). Paperwork of discarded parodies, of cancelled ideas, of characters never to come, and simple intragovernmental works required by the corporate structure.

Naturally, this led to piles of paperwork and storage problems. In 1951, the Department of Archives was instated to create some sense of "order" amongst the red-taped chaos. They found, deep in the employment records, an obsessive-compulsive penguin with a top hat and monocle, to head the Department. However, they didn't really consider that a penguin with a monocle wouldn't change with the times. (THIS is why the BOF never fully digitized itself and uses paper so heavily.)

The dapper penguin, named Herman, decided that the best way to archive the records was to stack every archive, one sheet at a time, in a single unused room somewhere in the Bureau of Fiction. He got several of his newly assigned employees to stack each sheet of eight-and-a-half-by-eleven pieces of paper, one at a time, from the floor of the room to the ceiling. Starting in the corner and working their way each time they made a complete tower of paperwork, they eventually, after nine years, fulfilled Herman's dream. (It would have taken less time if Herman didn't insist on having one employee do all the work, like how they did "in the good old days".)

Now came the time to seal the paperwork away. Herman, still in his "good old days" state of senility, decided that "there would be no need for a lock". Closing the door shut, he nailed a sign onto the doorway: "STAY AWAY. DO NOT ENTER."
It's a mystery why the bureaucracy didn't order Herman to lock the door, at least with an old skeleton key or something. (They probably had other, more trivial things to do.)

Of course, having an unlocked "secret door" is asking for trouble. Trouble came in the name of Bloo16, a janitor hired in 1970 to clean the area. By this time, the original Secret Door had faded into the mists of time, and BOF employees, even those who knew it was paperwork, began to question why paperwork would be secret. As in any office, other bureaucrats fed on these delicious rumors when chatting over coffee or by the watercooler, twisting the story to the point that the Secret Door had its name taken off the BOF maps and people feared to speak of it. (One of the biggest rumors centered around that one bureaucrat that stacked the work. Apparently "she put nine years into that room" for reasons she's not saying. Insert insane, mass guessing of choice here.)

Bloo16 asked around about the door from the moment he saw it, but all the bureaucrats were silent. The anxiety only increased when the poor employee that had to stack those papers tackled Bloo when he tried to open the door, shaking him and saying "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT. I PUT NINE YEARS INTO THAT ROOM AND I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOME TWERP LIKE YOU RUIN IT."
For a while, Bloo16 tried not to open it.... -but the temptation was incessant. Provoked by evil letters, Bloo16 finally gave in to the Secret Door and, in the middle of the night, he threw it open... only to be buried by a paperwork avalanche. (How the paperwork stacks shifted in such a way as to funnel out the door is a mystery. Maybe there was something else in there.....)


It took days to clear that area of the floor of all that paper. Disregarding Herman's screams and rants, they just crumbled the papers and stuffed it in cardboard boxes. They didn't want another incident though (especially after what the Stacker tried to do to poor Bloo16 after the incident; the scorch marks and bullets are still there), so the BOF organized a committee to discuss what to do with the boxes of work.

The end suggestion was absurd, but fitting. Why not create a space of infinite storage to just dump all of the paperwork down? It was like a trash can, except it met the Bureau's "no shred" rule! Yay!

Construction began immediately after Bloo16 was expelled (only to later torment others). The Stacker was tasked with overseeing the project, because Herman was too busy curled up in the mammalian fetal position at the thought of all those piles of boxes with no one to organize and stack properly. Stacker proved efficient and quick at this. The dumping grounds were prepared in less than six months, ten times under budget and twice as fast as they needed. Stacker promptly got a scolding for being "so efficient". Actually, though, the real reason was that the unused budget allocated for the project was returned to the BOF's funds. This meant less money for the corrupt to siphon for their own gain. By spending less money, there was less to embezzle in the end.

The overall idea was simple. Portals connecting to the Dimension were opened in certain places on all floors of the BOF and covered by an item reading "INSERT PAPERWORK HERE", resembling trash cans. Cardboard boxes were provided nearby for use, and the paperwork was handed to a bureaucrat near said receptacle to pack into a box, and handed to another bureaucrat to tape it and drop it into the bin.

Thus, the Box Dimension was born! All of those boxes in the background and floating around are BOF junk.

Discovery by CP[edit]

The Box Dimension was, of course, supposed to be a dumping grounds that wasn't really supposed to be accessed. (This being said, Herman is almost always in the Box Dimension trying to straighten and align the mess, when not being assaulted by orange puffles.) Unlike the other basements, the Box Dimension's entrance only requires an employee's card key to enter.

However, in 2007, G (of CP fame) accidentally broke into the Box Dimension when experimenting with some of his technology. He thought he had found some insane parallel universe, and in part, he was right, but the damage had been done. Laymen flooded into the Box Dimension and marveled at the stuff they found inside, though they really didn't get the meaning of "BOF FORM 454-854-008" or "DNA SEQUENCE 196". Of course, important papers were found at times, prompting some work to be done on the Dimension's new portal.

Considering that sealing the portal would raise suspicions about G's "breakthrough", the BOF decided to move the portal and construct large, floating boxes for lay-penguins to walk around on. Today, this is what CP calls "the Box Dimension". The penguins that wandered in the original piles sometimes found important things (e.g. a file about themselves, or they met an employee or Herman), which resulted in a certain visit from a black van in the middle of the night for most unlucky viewers.

Zones[edit]

Over time, be it through experimentation or through deliberate work, different Bureau of Fiction sectors, employees, and departments created various "Zones" within the Box Dimension. Their boxes were taped shut and thrown about all over the Dimension (they were recognizable by their icon and their larger size), and were available to anyone who opened them.

Rookie discovers the Zones[edit]

In one of the most poetic twists of irony ever seen in the Bureau of Fiction, the dreaded Rookie, created to curse the PSA and the Director, turned on his creators and messed them up too.

Waddling around on the Box Dimension's viewing platform, Rookie accidentally tripped on a cookie left from the 2011 Puffle Party and fell into the sea of boxes. Instead of using the elevator box provided for penguins to return to the platform, Rookie let his curiosity get the best of him, and he decided to explore. The Rookie effect took over from there. The MIB were unable to find him due to the curse, so Rookie pretty much had free reign to see what his stupid eyes could see.

Everyone's favorite village idiot happened to come across some old BOF side-projects, traps, and pure nonsense. He opened the boxes and looked inside, but his attention span caused him to move on. True to the curse, he didn't close the lid, and so it began.

List of Zones[edit]

Desert Zone[edit]

Main article: Desert Zone

The Desert Zone is a dry, scorching, and endlessly sandy realm with blistering seventy two degree temperatures Fahrenheit, and a sweltering thirty three degrees Fahrenheit at night. When ones walk to the right, the sun moves to the west and the moon rises in the east. For about every twenty or so steps, day becomes night and night becomes day. Turning back reverses this movement. As if that's not enough, giant, multi-armed cacti (that are engineered to produce raw cactus juice from within) dot the landscape. As the tourists said, don't hug them. (Or drink them.)

Dessert Zone[edit]

Main article: Dessert Zone

The Dessert Zone (remember, two "S") is any fat penguin's dream manifested into a delicious, succulent, diabetes-inducing paradise of pure, unhealthy sugar flowing forth like fountains. There are also literal fountains of various molten sweets. This room is engineered for the enjoyment of BOF employees, especially Benny, who secretly goes here when he gets hungry at night.

LMGT lives here, and mistakenly calls it "Fattyville". He and a lot of other large creatures are trying to develop a distant area of this zone so that they can live (and eat) without being judged. They discovered a new type of puffle deep in the zone. No one knows what they'll find as they journey beyond anything the cartographers mapped.

Drawing Zone[edit]

Main article: Drawing Zone

The closest Zone to actually infiltrating the BOF is the Drawing Zone. It is, in fact, one of Keith's actual sketchpads used for developing character and universe art! Fortunately, it is one of his spare sketchpads, so he doesn't use it that frequently. Still, this realm is dangerous. Every penguin is rendered into a discount drawing and, should Keith ever use the pad when penguins are present, he might find "inspiration" and change the poor drawing forever. At least one puffle-turned-penguin (no, not him!) has happened, and there were two gender swaps (the drawing penguins look gender neutral) during the 2011 April Fools' party. (Mind wipes ensued.)

Space Zone[edit]

Despite is cool appearence, the Space Zone is actually just a storage area for the Office of Astronomy. Still, the odd physics and floaty movements made it a lot of fun for penguins.

Stair Zone[edit]

Main article: Stair Zone
See also: M. C. Escher and this thing.

A BOF homage to one of McFlapp's favorite artists, the Stair Zone is a loving rip-off of said artist's Relativity painting. Rumor has it that there is actually an unsealed BOF portal somewhere in the Stair Zone, placed there simply to annoy Benny and challenge creatures. McFlapp believes that anyone who can get to said portal, Fourth Wall or not, deserves a place in the Bureau because of their intellect. The Stair Zone, of all the Zones, is the least mapped.

Lame Joke Parlor Zone[edit]

The Lame Joke Parlor Zone was actually a room created by the top minds of Club Penguin and pushed into the Box Dimension for an April Fools' party of the past. The BOF now uses it for a weekly comedy night, where some of the best (and worst) puns ever told are used.

Cream Soda Zone[edit]

Main article: Cream Soda Zone

An extremely dangerous and highly risky room, the Cream Soda Zone is a mystical realm from which most Cream Soda flows. No one knows where it came from or why. Even the Board remains mute on it; whether or not they know, however, is up for debate. A small portal from the Desert Zone leaks cactus juice into the sea of Cream Soda. It is also the source of the pollution in Soda Seas.

Floating Fish in a Window Over a River Zone[edit]

WHAT IS THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN
The Floating Fish in a Window Over a River Zone Zone appeared in 2011 right as the April Fools' party commenced. No one created it, no one wanted it... it just came to be. (Maybe G's "made by silliness theory", regarding absolute randomness, was more true than first perceived.) This freaky realm truly screws around with one's mind. Its namesake involves a fish swimming out of one window floating over a river and into another window across that river, vanishing without seeing the other side, only to do it again, and all this time, the fish isn't confused and *head explodes*
Also present is an outdated BOF uniform, used for lower employees like cart pushers, janitors, and such, back in the 1950s. It wasn't actually supposed to be there; when the FFWOR Zone came to be, the locker holding the last uniform from that era just appeared there and began cloning itself. Still, with that mind-screwing-over fish, it actually makes more sense for self-cloning courier outfits to exist. This doesn't even cover the creepy statues, the piano-shaped bridge, the broken clock, the ability to walk on water, or where that water even comes from. (DO NOT DRINK THE WATER.)
There's also cacti, flamingos, a floating fishing rod, ugly flowers *head explodes again*

Orange Puffles[edit]

Plok, one of the orange puffles who lives in the Box Dimension.

While the exact story of the orange puffle is unknown, it is assumed that, years ago, a mid-sized group of feral puffles stumbled upon an entrance to the BOF, and were redirected into the Box Dimension. There, they lived off of a fiber-rich cardboard and paper diet for food, as well as taking drinks from the Cream Soda Zone (and sometimes the Desert Zone's cacti) to stay hydrated.

Natural selection took over. All of that cactus juice and cream soda started doing bad things to them minds of these puffles. This is why they always act silly, goofy, and in an overall resemblance to Phreaker Explorer. It is also why cactus juice does not affect them. New generations also adapted the subspecies' famed buck teeth: they were perfectly adapted to tear open any box's tape, packaging, or other coverings to get the delicious paperwork inside. As for turning orange... who knows?

Mapping the Box Dimension[edit]

During the April Fools' Party 2011, the Box Dimension was open to the public. That included tourists. Sure, only Members could enter the Zones, but tourists often got their kicks by jumping into the sea of cardboard below. The Moose in Black were so overloaded with victims to wipe, that they retreated from Mattress Village and other patrol routes to round them all up. They only managed to nab a small percentage of the tourists and daredevils. Most of them got away with their memories intact, and oftentimes, a lot of "souvenirs". Due to this, no one will truly know just how bad the damage was, nor what was take, or by whom.


Capitalizing on this chance for more fame, Club Penguin's greatest cartographer decided to take up the task of mapping the entire Box Dimension. He would start with the platform and then cover all seven Zones. Afterwards, he would jump into the piles below and do some exploring. The cartographer, however, wasn't expecting what he saw. He gave up after three realms, because the Stair Zone was insane. He decided that the Box Dimension was not one to be mapped, and suggested to EBUL that the rooms be tossed back into the piles. He then had nightmares for weeks, but because he was sanctioned by the Penguin Times and by the public eye, he was never mind wiped.

When the cartographer gave up, the entire BOF, which had been monitoring the party fearfully, breathed a sigh of relief.

On April 4th, 2011, EBUL goons lifted the Member seal on the Zones and kicked the Zone boxes away, watching as they floated off to who knows where.

Resources[edit]

A Box with a portal to the dimension inside

Boxes! Nothing but large, cardboard boxes which sometimes contain portals to the Box Dimension (usually conjured up by Box Creator), and whatever lies inside them.

Storage by laymen[edit]

At times, the Box Dimension has been used by CP workers for their own, minor storage purposes. The twisted physics of the realm always ensured plenty of nonsensical flying boxes, some empty, some not, for the island to use. Examples included 2010, where huge plants were placed away, and when piles of cookies were thrown into the great beyond (and rested upon the viewing platform) for all of the Orange Puffles to gourge on. It tasted far better than cardboard.

Inhabitants[edit]

  • Boxes live here.
  • McLacker stays here most of the time.
  • There is a rumor of a "Box Creator".
  • Herman is always here, trying to straighten and order the boxes that always fall in to the place. Since the Box Dimension has no sense of time, it's likely that Herman will be doing this forever.
  • Stacker comes to the Box Dimension to give Herman his food and water for the day.
  • Hoardes of feral orange puffles still roam this place, getting drunk and going crazy, as nature intended.
  • "Box Dragons" patrol the floor, shooing outsiders into an exit portal. They don't wipe minds, but they do send the poor penguins that see them to therapists that will help them do that.
  • Box Knights are skilled orange puffles that work in unison to rid the Box Dimension of penguins, and are believed to be the primary reason why no explorers (besides Feey1 Pie and his brothers) have returned from the place.

Trivia[edit]

  • There's a rumor that the large box in the middle will take you to a secret room if you stand on it long enough. This was confirmed after the FFWOR Zone came fourth by its own initiative.
  • TurtleShroom actually died in the Box Dimension, suffering a heart attack after coming across the Cream Soda Zone. The deaths of nine other Unoian penguins are also, or will be, attributed to the Zone.
  • There may be many more zones out there, waiting to be discovered.
  • Andrew loves to go to the Desert Zone and drink the cactus juice. Ponyo Penguin does as well.
    • After the April Fools' Party, when interrogated by the MIB, one of the biggest reasons for tourists and penguins leaping off the viewing platform into forbidden territory is to search for the Cream Soda Zone. They sought to get drunk on cactus juice.
  • There is a portal to the Cow Dimension around here, too.
  • Contains massive parodies and references to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and, in particular, the "secret door episode", Trouble with Scribbles.

See also[edit]

External and canonical links[edit]