Classification Code

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The original copy of the Classification Code, as found in G's Gadget Room. It will self destruct in exactly 9000000000 seconds, but the copies of it will not.

In United States of Antarctica law, the concept of Classification is a rigid and very important statute that is specifically needed to preserve the security of the USA and the security abroad.

It was enacted in 2000 around the nation's founding and amended later on to include policies regarding the AIA. The PSA proudly displays the original copy of it in G's Gadget Room, as the message that will self destruct in over two hundred eighty five years.

Text[edit]

FEDERAL LAW:
THE 1337 BILL REGARDING GOVERNMENT SECRECY AND CLASSIFICATION
AS DRAFTED BY THE PWNSOME SOUTH POLE COUNCIL
MARCH 3RD, 2000.


ARTICLE ONE: Reasons to Necessitate This Law[edit]

  • WHEREAS, the Government, in times of necessity of the Greater Good, needs to protect events and documents in the name of national security.
  • WHEREAS, there are some things folks just shouldn't know about.
  • WHEREAS, creatures throughout the Nation perform embarrassing or controversial methods and acts which should be hidden from the public's eye.



ARTICLE TWO: Explanation[edit]

AS SUCH, the South Pole Council hereby enacts a code of government scerecy and hierarchy restricting the access of documents depending on their threats to the Greater Good and to National Security. This law is on a Federal Level and is therefore applied to all states and jurisdictions belonging to the USA.

Any and all federal branches can request classifications, but only the Penguin Secret Agency and Bureau of Fiction cronies, as well as other laws, can actually classify documents.

Upon classification, only those with the proper security clearance can access the documents.

ARTICLE THREE: Classification Ranks[edit]

This document hereby establishes the Ranks used in the Classification System.

SECTION ONE: Universe Preservation (UP)[edit]

An item classified as UNIVERSE PRESERVATION is an item so important to society, Antarctica, or the VERY EXISTENCE OF THE UNIVERSE ITSELF, that, if declassified, could actually DESTROY THE UNIVERSE AND EXISTENCE. As in, POOF, WE WOULD ALL BE GONE.

Most UNIVERSE PRESERVATION items are either hallowed, powerful, sacred, or are physical laws fundamental to the very being of everything. Messing with UP items can result in major catastrophes involving the mis-coordination of the universe.

No clearance can be given on UNIVERSE PRESERVATION, and only hallowed, higher powers can ever know of these things, as well as those who stumble over it on a need to know basis. Masters of the Universe hold Holy Clearance (HC), also called Deity Clearance (DC).

By COC standards, UP items and the Masters of the Universe are the closest legal thing to a deity in our realm, the Masters themselves being classified.


FURTHERMORE, Masters of the Universe and those with Deity Clearance can only read UP items on a need to know basis. If the Master doesn't need to know it to do their job, they won't learn it.

If anyone discloses a UP item in an unauthorized manner, they will be deleted ASAP if caught. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!


SECTION TWO: Top Secret (TS)[edit]

An item classified as TOP SECRET could, if declassified, potentially DESTROY the country! It is a dangerous and grave threat to national security, so hush!

Only those with ÜBER CLEARANCE and above can read and access Top Secret Files.

ÜBER CLEARANCE can be handed out by the Director of the PSA, the President, and various, ahem, Bureaucrats.


SECTION THREE: Just Plain Secret (S or JPS)[edit]

An item classified as JUST PLAIN SECRET can severely harm national security. Things such as weapons that the public shouldn't know about and the like are under this.


Only those with PWNSOME CLEARANCE or above can read and access JPS files.

Those in the upper ranks of the EPF automatically get PWNSOME CLEARANCE. Normal EPF Elitists recieve other forms.

PWNSOME CLEARANCE can be handed out by the Director of the PSA, the President, Elitists, and various, ahem, Bureaucrats.


SECTION FOUR: Confidential (C)[edit]

An item that is CONFIDENTIAL could somewhat "damage" national security or scare the public. All PSA Agents have the clearance (AGENT CLEARANCE) upon joining and all PSA and EPF Agents can give anyone the clearance for any reason other than personal gain.


SECTION FIVE: Noobs May View (NMV)[edit]

By default, everything, including this law unless classified, is under the NOOBS MAY VIEW category.


Every creature in Antarctica automatically has the NOOB CLEARANCE simply for existing.


NMV items are everything not classified and can be viewed by the public in any shape form or fashion, including the Internet. For example, your face is NMV (unless under something like witness protection), as is your mom and your name (again, unless under witness protection or safety).


ARTICLE FOUR: Clearence Summary[edit]

Type Holders Distribution Access privileges
Holy/Deity Clearance Masters of the Universe, unfortunate civilians via need to know and cover-up silencing. HC/DC can not be given out unless a Master of the Universe is either forced or the need arises for the clearance to be given, such as hiring new Masters. Those with this clearance can read literally ANYTHING, for ANY REASON, but UP classifications must have a reason. A Master can't just open a UP document and read it "for the Lulz".
Über Clearance The Director, High-ranking EPF members, G, civilians granted the rights. Über Clearance can be given by the Director of the PSA, the President, and various, ahem, Bureaucrats. Those with Über Clearance can access everything except UP items, though some items are need to know.
PWNsome Clearance All EPF members (on a need to know only), high ranking PSA members (need to know), and civilians granted the rights. PWNsome Clearance can be given by the Director of the PSA, the President, Elitists holding the rank, and various, ahem, Bureaucrats. Those with PWNsome Clearance can read anything ranked Just Plain Secret or below, a few on a need-to-know basis.
Agent Clearance Every single penguin in the PSA, EPF, and government. Agent Clearance can be given to anyone by any holder, so long as it is not for personal gain. AC holders can access Confidential information for any reason.
Noobs May View Clearance You Holders have have it simply for existing. NMV holders may see anything public.

Conclusion[edit]

SHHH!!!

-ENACTED BY THE SOUTH POLE GRAND KRYTOCRATIC LEGISLATIVE COUNCIL, MARCH THIRD, YEAR TWO THOUSAND.

{signatures of delegates}

Subsequent amendments[edit]

AIA[edit]

The Old No Zlo Shroomsky seal.
File:No Zlo, No Dan.PNG
The New Seal, With Dan
Having addressed the creation of the Antarctic Investigation Authority, or AIA, and the positions entitled within and of its leader, the law hereby includes the following clauses.
  • The Headmaster of the AIA is granted ÜBER CLEARANCE without need-to-know restrictions.
  • The Headmaster may classify or declassify anything as he or she sees fit, UNLESS marked by the specific NZS (No Zlo Shroomsky) seal, or if the item is a UP document.
  • AIA members are granted PWNsome Clearance with a need-to-know basis.
  • The Headmaster of the AIA may give Über, PWNsome, and Agent Clearance at whim, but can not take away the clearance of others.

CNIC[edit]

Having addressed the creation of the Criminal Nautical Investigation Company, the positions entitled within, and of its leader, the law hereby includes the following clauses, thereby overriding anything applicable.

  • The leader of the CNIC is addressed as the Admiral.
  • The Admiral has the authority to prevent the Headmaster from classifying or declassifying anything sea-based, including, but not limited to, boats, boat design, secrets in the ocean, the ocean itself, treasure, anything water based.
  • The Admiral, like the Headmaster, holds Über Clearance, without need-to-know restriction. All Sailors hold PWNsome Clearance without need to know restrictions.
  • The CNIC is to be considered the nautical equivalent of the AIA.

PSA dissolution[edit]

  • The Penguin Secret Agency is hereby recognized as dissolved.
  • Agent Clearence is to be merged upwards into PWNsome clearence.
    • Each Agent is to be promoted into PWNsome clearence, with need to know restrictions.
  • Existing high-ranked EPF agents are to keep their PWNsome clearence without need to know restrictions.

More Information[edit]

The Classification Code is a very interesting item and is laden with all sorts of readable goodies.

Known Holders by Rank[edit]

Shh!! These holders are not outlined by the law but hold them via distribution!

The symbol indicates rumored holders which are not confirmed.

HC/DC (all rumored)[edit]

UBER CLEARANCE[edit]

PWNsome Clearance[edit]

Agent Clearance[edit]

Controversy[edit]

Trivia[edit]

  • There are a few clauses written in invisible ink to keep even the public from knowing about it.
  • There is a secret clause in the document's text:
    WHEREAS, secrets to preserve the universe and the multiverse around us, including the Fourth Wall, need to be hidden from anyone except on a need to know basis.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]