Communist Poker Face
|Communist Poker Face|
Mah poker face mah mah mah poker poker face mah mah poker face poker face.....
|Title||Poker Card Shark|
|Race||Ghost (Khanze Penguin)|
|Faction||She will own you at ANY card game and she nevers bets because money is for capitalist noobs.|
|Level||Master Poker Champion|
|Status||Kicking someone's backside at poker.|
|Location||Probably Bugzy's Public Civillian Gambling Hall that is DEFINATELY Legal.|
Communist Poker Face's Theme Music
Communist Poker Face is a ghostly Khanz Penguin who can whip anyone at any card game. She is considered a PWNguin in cards, a real Card Shark, so to speak. Her favorite people to PWN in poker are people who discriminate because she is female, those who discriminate because she is a ghost, and those who discriminate because she is communist. She PWNs them all.
Communist Poker Face was born in the same village as Albert Al-Sahaf, and she was one of his only friends. Albert told her the truth frequently, though he denied a lot as well, but CPF loved it, because denial is key in poker (called bluffing).
Astonishingly, the two fell in love. Albert and CPF were pretty much soulmates. Communist Poker Face stayed in school after Al dropped out, though, and through those years, she sent ace of heart cards to him with the phrase "I LOVE YOU" or "you're my winning hand!" and other romance puns, which helped Al through the tough times of the mayoral overthrowing.
After her education, Communist Poker Face decided to propose to Al instead of the vice-versa, because she wanted to be his lifelong mate really badly, and perhaps raise some card-playing denial chicks along the way.
Sadly, she died about a week before the proposal (a card table fell on her and gave her a severe concussion when she bent under to pick up a card), and Albert Al-Sahaf showed up at her funeral, too sad to even deny her death. He stood there at the casket and buried her best friend and future wife himself, marking her grave with an Ace of Spades-shaped tombstone.
However, and much to Albert's shock, Communist Poker Face returned as a ghost because she loved Al too much to let him stop his love of denial. She came to him and explained how ghosts can't marry penguins, but promised to keep in touch as she "PWNed the capitalist noobs who claim to be able to play poker".
To CPF's delight, Albert denied her mad poker skills (a joke of course) and gave her a hug and placed her on his buddy list.
They parted ways at that point.
Communist Poker Face can be found at Bugzy's Casino on every day except Sunday, when the casino is closed, and will play anyone who challenges her. She always goes easy on her fellow opponets, because if she played her best, she would OWN them. CPF never bets any money or casino Pwnez because she believes that betting is for Capitalist noobs.
- CPF is one of the few poker players who can beat Bugzy at poker.
- Not even Fred, who is skilled in probability and game theory, can beat her. Fred admits this is because poker contains a psychological element that can't be described in mathematical terms.
- As her name implies, she has mastered the poker face, and no one can ever tell if she has good card or not because of this.
- She is an honorary Str00del, as is her best friend, Albert.
- CPF does NOT speak in Leet.
- Communist Poker Face doesn't only play poker, she can play any other card game and still win at it. She owns Turtleheimer at Go Fish and Old Maid frequently.
- She has mad skills in card games.
- CPF has a lifetime pass to the Casino because she defeated Bugzy in poker.