Cube of Cliche
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|Cube of Cliche|
Behold! (A shot of the Cube showing the Stereotype, Exaggerated, and Meaningless faces.)
|Type||Cube, conspiracy theory|
|Location||An overly-secure chamber in Director Benny's office.|
|Cost to buy||Priceless|
|Cost to sell||Priceless|
The Cube of Cliche is a small cube that rests in the Bureau of Fiction. The Cube of Cliche, as its name implies, is responsible for causing any and almost all corniness, cheesiness, and/or cliche-ness anywhere, anytime. Mere exposure to its powerful flux will generate overused and worn out cliches, including but not limited to memes, items, beings, events, and dialogue. The effects are not permanent, but can last for a long time especially if the cube keeps exposing itself.
The Cube of Cliche is jointly in possession by Mayor McFlapp and Director Benny. They can't get rid of it because it's indestructible (courtesy of its own cliche aura), and if they try to trick someone else into keeping it, they will be transported to the Cheesy Abyss of Infinite Doom (also courtesy of the aura).
The Cube of Cliche, by virtue of its own cliche-ness, was born out of a violent and chaotic explosion caused by the alignment of the Seven Majestic Memes or so it goes. The Cube coalesced from the debris and fell to Earth, leaving a trail of silver sparks as it re-entered the atmosphere. These sparks fell to the ground and became more cliches.
The Cube was found by Mayor McFlapp and Director Benny while they were hiking in Trans-Antarctica. It immediately bonded to them and decided they would be its new masters, ignoring all pleas to "go annoy somebody else". The Cube set up shop in Director Benny's office, using its aura to construct an obstacle course of lasers, robotic sharks, and giant clamping things that culminated in a dark chamber guarded by human-cat hybrids, where the Cube itself stood on a pedestal. All of this security was neatly placed behind a vault in the office's wall.
McFlapp and Benny came to accept the Cube's presence and tried to avoid it as much as possible. For now, the Cube sits in its dark chamber, undisturbed. It still is able to have its cliches go through the fourth wall by having the Bureau of Wannabes talk about it.
The Cube is a small block of black material 6 inches by 6 inches by 6 inches in volume (216 cubic inches). It is lightweight and fluffy and emanates a bright white aura that lights up its chamber. The Cube is able to float, and is usually seen hovering over its silvery pedestal in its chamber.
The Cube is sentient and is able to talk with a mysterious voice that seems to come from everywhere, like a BOSE sound system. The Cube tends to ramble on about tales of heroes and good vs. evil showdowns, and pays little attention to others. However, it can occasionally offer some good advice.
The Cube is able to generate objects at will (defying the laws of conservation in a cliche manner) Normally, the objects that are generated are cliched and overused (e.g., voids of doom, swords imbued with immaculate power, etc.), and quickly get destroyed or rendered useless one way or another. The Cube also has the ability to make characters say cliched dialogue and do cliched actions, which annoys the Cube's victims to no end.
The Cube can attack enemies by hurling lightning bolts and whirlwinds at them, and it can also fly around the room and hit them. The Cube also generates sidekicks that stall opponents for some time before getting destroyed. The Cube's final attack is to unleash a powerful aura that electrocutes enemies and sends them into the "Cheesy Abyss of Infinite Doom", where the victims will be tortured with terrible corny humor and outdated jokes and memes, according to the Cube.
Each side of the cube has a special function in creating cliches. Their names are Stereotype, Unoriginal, Exaggerated, Predictable, Meaningless, and Overused. Usually, all the sides take part in creating cliches, but most of the time one or more of the sides put in more cliche energy than the others. The resulting cliche will be categorized with the side(s) that had the most part in creating it and glows with the same color as that side(s). The sides have markings that glow with colors, which are red (Stereotype), orange (Unoriginal), yellow (Exaggerated), green (Predictable), blue (Meaningless), and purple (Overused). The sides can speak all at once as the whole cube, as separate personas, or in groups (e.g., Exaggerated and Meaningless speaking in unison). When the Stereotype, Unoriginal, Predictable, Meaningless and Overused sides join forces, they end up becoming the group called "Deus Ex Machina", which aids in making pointless and boring endings in stories/events. Similarly, when these five forces of trope tragedy combine, they may also result in the reverse: something called Diabolus Ex Machina. When this occurs, something terrible happens which extends a story and makes it longer than it probably should be.
The Cube and its sides have had many encounters with other characters. They are recorded here.
(Remember, just because they're here doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Cliches done right can be glorious!)
Unoriginal/Overused: I'll think I'll put "peng" in this penguin's surname... it's fitting.
Overused/Meaningless/Unoriginal: Let's give this character "modes"!
Unoriginal: Give him a mode that makes him all crazy and stuff, like the phreaker mode!
Unoriginal: Let's have the BOF fix all our problems for us! (That can be fun if you help...)
Exaggerated: What do you MEAN it's a stretch for Zone to build a castle within miles of his boss' sworn enemy, AND have a hot girl at his side, AND somehow be revived into a depressing and gloomy robot without any stir from the censors or OOC police? (Of course, he's so PWNsome, he seems to be above the law by the choice of the censors and OOC police.)
Meaningless: Any particular reason TurtleShroom wears a sash? I mean, what does that have to do with anything?
Stereotype: Everyone loves nerds. (That's not a bad thing, though.)
Unoriginal: Let's make this guy be a great prankster!
Meaningless/Unoriginal: I'm pretty sure that no one really cares about Toot, and, to boot, that's a pretty poorly used bathroom joke. Heh heh. Rhyme.
Exaggerated: The fact that The Director cares so much about the safety of one of his meaningless administrators is a stretch. I mean, he has a billion replacements, but he dissolves an entire agency because one of his administrators and two or three agents were nearly killed.
Meaningless: Hey Inquisition, you can't stop the Un-CP. Why do you keep trying? (Might not be a bad thing.)
Stereotype: Tortugadesetas rules a banana republic. Therefore, he should speak broken English! (Again, not that's not a bad thing.)
Overused: THIS... IS... SPARKA!! (Not a bad thing, of course.)
Overused: OH LAWD IT'S WEEGEE! (Not a bad cliche.)
Meaningless: Mayor McFlapp, why did you go through all of that trouble to steal those medications when you could just use your designated power to pop the things into your inventory? I mean, wouldn't that be EASIER?
Meaningless: Darktan, why do you need "poetic justice"? FRY THEM! FRY THEM NAOUGH!!
Stereotype/Meaningless/Overused/Predictable/Unoriginal (Deus Ex Machina): All these really evil villains magically turn good thanks to Mayor McFlapp and these random superheroes who never existed until ten seconds ago! Hurrah! (Not a bad thing if it's done skillfully, of course.)
- The Cube is directly responsible for the "Peng name epidemic" (stopped by the Peng Declaration) and the rapid creation of Mary Sues.
- The stereotype marking of the cube resembles the markings found in Zone Fortress.
- The origins of the cube are unknown even to the cube itself. That, or it's not willing to tell whoever is responsible.
- The Cube along with the Pyramid of Parody, has created pastiches, stock characters, and anachronisms. The Cube's influence on the Pyramid is considered very negative, and causes the Pyramid to create "cliched" parodies.