Curse of the Big Balls

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The Curse of the Big Balls
376px-Big Balls image.PNG
Good night, eat right, and Big Balls!
Information
Type Curse
Effects If not acknowledged, cheese crushes the unlucky viewer.
Source High Penguin Incantation
Location Found in foggy clearings in Lichenblossom Forest.
Cost to buy Priceless
Cost to sell The cheese sells for about 2,500 coins.



The Curse of the Big Balls is a curse created by a High Penguin immigrant who lived in Lichenblossom in the 1970s. After the spell was initiated, large, rubber spheres that stand on a framework of metal (see picture) began to appear in foggy clearings. These spheres are referred to as Big Balls. They would appear in one place, stay there for a few seconds, then fade out only to reappear in another location, like ghosts. If a creature happens to notice a Big Ball, they will have to shout "BIG BALLS" within a set time limit (about fifteen seconds) or they will get crushed by a Giant Falling Cheese.

This curse later inspired a popular game show called Tidal Crash]

Description[edit]

"The origins of the Curse can be traced back to the 1970s. Two married High Penguin immigrants moved to Lichenblossom for a new life and settled down there. The wife was a professional cheesemaker, while the husband was rather lazy and lacked a profession. When off duty, the wife enjoyed exercising, and she brought special red balls from her homeland to exercise on.

Each night, however, the mischevious husband ate much of her cheese and then took her exercising balls outside to burn off the fat from eating the cheese. He would then sneak back in, retreat to his sleeping chamber, and pretend that nothing had ever happened. The wife had kept thinking that wild creatures ate her cheese every night, so she installed an electric fence to ward them off. When that failed, she used a crystal ball as a survellience camera and caught her husband eating her cheese and stealing her exercising balls.

Enraged at her husband, but deciding not to tell him, she cursed the land near her home where her spouse went to excercise. She picked up her balls, placed them on metal rigging, and cast the spell on them, doing to same on a nice 150-pound hunk of red-skinned cheese as well.

The next evening, the husband ate the cheese and carried out the excercise balls to work out, when he spotted the cursed balls on the scaffolding. Not knowing what to say, he just stared at it and was crushed by cheese that mysteriously fell from the sky.

After healing, he learned his lesson."

Involvement[edit]

To this day, the curse is still in effect. Big Balls attached to metal scaffolding appear and disappear at random, and if one doesn't acknowledge them and say "BIG BALLS" after seeing one within fifteen seconds, they too face the fate of the foolish husband.

The now infamous couple are still alive today, but when asked about the curse, the husband screamed and the wife said "I regret nothing." Their marriage remianed strong despite the event, but that may be because penguins can't divorce and mate for life.

The Incantation[edit]

Bonus nox noctis, somnus puteus, et Big Balls.

This incantation must be repeated every full moon for the spell to last. In order to preserve the cultural heritage carried by the Curse, the Redlink elders task themselves to go outside and chant the words at midnight whenever necessary.

The incantation is effective within a 100-mile radius of wherever it is said. A noticeable side feature of areas that contain the curse are large numbers of rhododendron bushes and the faint aroma of Snowzer Cheese wafting through the air.

Trivia[edit]

  • The Big Balls and the Falling Cheese served as the inspiration for Tidal Crash.
  • The Curse of the Big Balls is a parody of the infamous Big Balls of the popular TV show Wipeout. The Giant Falling Cheese is a parody of the Motivator, which actually DOES hit you if you refuse to jump across the Big Balls.

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