Das Kapibble

From Club Penguin Fanon Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search


Das Kappible
Smart Tuxpenguin.PNG
"The central driving force of capitalism is in the exploitation and alienation of labor. The ultimate source of capitalist profits and surplus is the unpaid labor of wage laborers."
Profile
Title Capitalist Warrior
Gender Male
Race Khanz Penguin
Faction Mecha Goons
Health Wealthy
Level Bourgoise
Status Investing or fighting
Location Club Penguin Stock Trade Building, Money Plaza, Club Penguin
OR
Dorkugal
Occupation Economist, part-time warrior
Interests Fighting, economics
Friends Mecha Goons (besides Hammer Goon), Adam Smith
Enemies All of East Pengolia, Hammer Knights, Karl Marx, the mixed economy, minimum wages, worker safety laws, any form of government regulation, trust-busting, MobileShroom...
Archetype Neutral

Speaker.png Click here to listen to Das Kapibble's theme!

Das Kapibble (pronounced DASS-KUH-PIB-BULL) is an economist and part-time warrior who is pretty much the definition of absolute Laissez-faire capitalism. That means that he supports a market completely untouched by government regulation of any sorts, whether it be stopping monopolies or protecting the worker's safety.

Considering that every country in Antarctica has at least the most basic necessities to protect workers and/or the market, Das seems to be quite annoyed at the failure to have a total free market. Even the most capitalistic realms have a small bit of socialism to protect their workers and their rights.

Background[edit]

Das Kapibbles is a Khanz penguin who hatched in Trans-Antarctica. His father was a captain of industry; that is, Mister Kapibbles was a master tycoon who amassed a bunch of wealth for himself and managed to keep his company afloat.

Raised in a world of wealth and corporate success, Das involved himself in the mining industry and even pulled some strings to become manager while he was still underaged. Considering how sheltered he was, workers' rights and labor movements annoyed him. Who were they, the employees, to question their bosses, who gave them their pay? After all, without their bosses, they'd be homeless!

Of course, there is an even ground, but not for Das. Minimum wage in Antarctica has existed for years (just look at how CP pays), something that Das strongly hates. The employees should be happy with what they have.

Indeed, this policy came into hos views worker safety, too. So a guy got his flipper cut off? Big whoop; his fault. That was the opinion of this archaic bird. To Diss with workers' compenastion, it wasn't the company's fault that the employees made a mistake, even if their machinary didn't have safety features.
Oh, and he also supports chick labor. Yeah.

Das' anger was at first taken out on his surroundings, until his father and several board members urged him to channel that anger into something productive. Always a penguin of productivity, Das chose an interesting form of weaponry. Das applied his economic policies to his weaponry. He utilized a boomerang-like item with sharp ages. When he threw it, it would do damage and return to him. Das compared it much to business cycles: regardless of how far it goes, or where, it wil always come back to where it started.

He became very good at business and fighting. He also learned to use his flippers to fight as well (in case a boomerang was unavailable), and he eventually worked to learn Card-Jitsu, where he made it to green belt before dropping out. Das even dabbled in the ancient Pengolian art of fish slapping, though he preferred the boomerang.

Involvement[edit]

Today, Das' aging father maintains the mining industry, while Das, now his father's second in command, travelled searching for key mining investments, trying to obtain key real estate for future mines and minerals. The father-and-son team managed to mine countless valuable elements, like gold, silver, copper, and even uranium!

As for his fighting skills, Das continued to develop his own art of boomerang making. He became so skilled at it that he eventually had a special item shaped like a slashed letter "S" made for him. He also dressed the part, wearing armor and gloves, over his usual suit and tie. Das is currently a member of the Mecha Goons, a bunch of creatures skilled in battle and led by Mecha Baron that strive to protect Antarctica in their own little way. He is rivals with Hammer Goon, a Hammer Knight and a communist by nature.

Trivia[edit]

  • Das Kapibble is a loose parody of Sir Kibble, a Kirby character who uses a boomerang-like slicing weapon to defend himself.
  • His name is a pun on "Das Kapital" the Karl Marx classic that outlines the "evils of capitalism", and one of the founding works of Socialism/Communism/Marxism.
  • He is sworn enemies with Hammer Goon, a Hammer Knight Marxist. He also carries a deep hatred for East Pengolia and Bolsheevic Penguinsky.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]