Dawn of the Pengolian Shoe
|This tale has been told! It's done!|
|Dawn of the Pengolian Shoe|
|Participants||Penghis Khan, Bambadoo, the Shoe Terrorist|
|Date||Dec 19, 2008|
|Location||Pengolian Speech Podium|
The Dawn of the Pengolian Shoe was an attempt by a crazy penguin to hit Penghis Khan with a shoe. The "terrorist" in question insulted Penghis Khan by screaming at him in a foreign language (which he quoted from the Internet), then throwing two shoes at him.
It all started at 12:00 PM, Penguins Standard Time. Penghis Khan was delivering a speech to his people, explaining how "PWNsome" he was... again. As you probably know, the Pengolians are getting kind of tired of their leader, especially Khan's servants. Today's speech was different, however, since Penghis Khan actually did some diplomacy.
Penghis Khan says that we should ban Burger Khan from our great land. Penghis Khan also wants a removal of Mabel from Pengolia, because Mabel scares Penghis Khan.
After the Mabel reference, the audience broke into thundering applause, cheering in uproar, with a standing ovation.
Feeling confident, Penghis Khan continued.
Penghis Khan is pleased if you agree with Penghis Khan. Penghis Khan says that if Mabel enters Penghis Khan's country, she will get slapped with a mullet. So says Penghis Khan!
Thunderous applause ensued. A few "WHOOTS!" were heard in the crowd.
However, in the back of the crowd, in the very last row, all was not well.
One Khanz penguin looked at his best friend.
"Doesn't Penghis Khan's way of speech bug you?"
"Yes, it definitely bugs me."
"How about we do something about it?"
"Well, I have a computer here. Would you like to look up a foreign language, to scream at Penghis Khan?"
"Screaming? That's Noobish. We're Khanz penguins! We can do better than that! Here, let's say that at Penghis Khan." The penguin pointed at the translated text.
"Nice. So, what was your improvement to the plan?"
"Well, let's check our player cards. What have you got?"
"I've got a fish, a fish, and another fish. Here, I have seven fish, a Minnow, a grey fish, and a half a mullet."
"Fish are so five minutes ago. Got anything else?"
The other penguin shook his player card.
"Well, I've got two stinky boots I haven't worn since the third grade."
"That's perfect! Give me those shoes."
The shoes were handed.
"Remember the phrase?"
"Yep. Okay, on my signal....................... NOW!"
The penguin leaped up from his seat.
The Penguin screamed:
في الكلام العادي! انت غبية جدا عندما تحدث في شخص ثالث!(Arabic for Speak in normal! You are so stupid when they occur in the third person! Poorly translated, of course. Thank you Google!)
He hurled a shoe straight at Penghis Khan.
Down fell Penghis Khan, like a snowman in a tanning room in the middle of a Greenhouse!!
Everyone stood up. Not a sound was made. It was so quiet, that if a fish hit another person, you could hear it.
In the utter silence, Penghis Khan moaned. The crowd went wild! Finding the penguin who threw the shoe (he was later identified as "Bambadoo"), as well as his friend, they picked him up, and hoisted them above. Much like an MVP scoring at the last second of the game, so too were Bambadoo and his friend. Carrying them out of the building in a celebratory manner, catcalling their names and screaming in joy, they came across a hoard of Penghis Khan servants.
The crowd froze in fear. Wind whipped through air, some snow kicked up.
"Which one of you is this 'Bambadoo'?"
Bambadoo meekly raised a flipper.
Bambadoo slowly waddled toward Penghis Khan's servants. They took out a golden medal, and placed it on Bambadoo.
"I hereby present you, Master Bambadoo, with the De-Khan Medal of Honor. Wear it with pride. You have successfully taken down our leader. Wait, you didn't kill him, did you?"
"Of course not! I'm not an assassin!"
"Good. Killing him would be stupid."
The crowd cheered. Penghis Khan was lying on the floor. Bambadoo and his friend became national heroes. Their names went into history.
As the crowd ran out of sight, they could be heard, singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow".
An hour later, Penghis Khan woke up. He realized no one was there.
Sitting up, and rubbing his head, he shouted:
SERVANTS! PENGHIS KHAN WANTS FOOD!
The shoe had wiped his short term memory. He forgot everything involving the speech, and as such, Bambadoo and company were never prosecuted... and Mabel never received the banishment edict, nor its fish punishment.
Explorer, after reading the event had this to say:
WOOOOOOOOOT!!! YEAH!!!! (no offense, Penghis. Wait, did I just put a full stop in these parentheses? Omigosh!!! (talking to himself) You naughty little phreak! *slap* This will teach you to use punctuation correctly! *slap* But-- *slap* Don't you talk back to me! I've got you...)
Humph! It's amazing how fickle crowds can be; cheering for their leader (who publicly denounced Mabel!) one moment and then heckling him the next. I think this serves as a terrible example of how disrespectful citizens can be!
No comment I hate him, he hates me. He was hit by a shoe? Who isn't?
PWNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's do that to Mabel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh. Sorry. heh-heh.
The Leader stated:
One of the most funiest attacks. I think we should make it a law.
- This is a parody of the infamous Shoe Throw an attempt at whacking George with a boot, Size 10. However, George did not get hurt, Penghis Khan did.
- Speaking of that link, watch the President dodge those shoes! He's like a Ninja!