Department of Article Maintenance

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The Department of Article Management is a department in the Bureau of Fiction that deals with the storage, deletion, moving, and protection of every article in existence. Largely considered to be a pointless and boring job, the Department only has fifteen employees. However, the space allotted to the Department's Article Library takes up an entire floor in the Bureau of Fiction, because of the 4,796 articles stored there.

Sub-Departments[edit]

The Department of Article Management consists of four sub-departments, which share the fifteen staff between them.

The Library[edit]

The mother of all libraries, which takes up the whole floor 8 in the Bureau. A long, circular room filled with hundreds of bookshelves, which in turn are filled with thousands of article files. Each item, place or character in the Club Penguin Fanon Universe has its own file, and any changes made to their file will take effect in the Universe. However, all articles can be edited remotely, from Director Benny's laptop, Narrator's Organ, Kwiksilver's PDA or any other narration device. In addition, many paper copies of the articles are locked up themselves, so only the Masters of the Universe can edit them.

Each article is organized into bookshelves, called "Categories". Each Category has it's name pasted across the top of it's respective bookshelf.

Uncategorized Articles or Unfinished Articles were piled up in a corner of the room until Mayor McFlapp and Kwiksilver moved them into the Omnibus for other staff to edit.

Only one staff member dusts the articles and categorizes them, a deaf old penguin named Perkins.

Deletion Administration Committee[edit]

One of the biggest sub-departments, The DAC's office is taken up mostly by a special incinerator, which article files are thrown in. This causes their real counterparts to be instantly deleted. The Incinerator also has a rollback function, so that an article can be un-deleted, but it is only a retrieval function. Populated by six staff, including Dan Beronews, the employees run up to the Library, grab the article's file, and throw it in the incinerator. The job is very boring, but if there's an article who's file is missing, they cannot delete it and so have to obtain an image of that article, then throw it in the incinerator.

The committee can also throw the file in an O.T.H.E.R. incinerator (Obliteration Tycoon: High Efficiency Reactor), a smaller, but more souped-up chamber. The OTHER incinerator pressurizes itself with pure oxygen, then sprays the file inside with Ditto Plus and other volatile chemicals. The file is then set ablaze, burning intensely inside the hyperbaric chamber. The OTHER is then shot straight into Delet This, a relatively small black hole created by the Bureau for permanent erasure of files.

Protection Administration Board[edit]

The job of this sub-department is to find articles to be protected and encase them in a vat of Ditto A and argon. The keypad lock on the vat's lid is set with a string of numbers that is known only to select Bureau members. Different codes exist for different clearance levels.

The Department has six employees.

Moving Administration Board[edit]

The most dull and boring job in the whole Bureau, this sub-department's job is to change the names of articles and re-file them in different categories. The MAB has three employees.

Template Assignment Committee[edit]

This team of approximately zero full-time employees (they're all volunteers from other departments and sub-departments) is in charge of assigning slips of laminated paper, or templates, to articles. These slips are coloured and have writing on them and designate special features of any article, ranging from the point in time they take place in to whether it is a candidate for deletion.

A complete list of templates can be found.

Trivia[edit]

  • Despite being regarded as a dull job, the Department of Article Management has put the other Departments to shame at the Staff Sports Day, especially at Paintball and Obstacle Courses.

Links[edit]