Dystopian: The Musical!

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Dystopian: the Musical!
Dystopian- the Musical! image.png
A Musical Interpretation of a Doomsday Scenario
Background information
Participants Actors
Date Runs on the third Thursday of every month.
Location The CP Stage, and the Callisto Concert Hall in South Pole City


Dystopian: The Musical is a satirical, entertaining look at an alternate reality of misery and woe. What if Mabel Ruled Antarctica? This question, and oh so much more, are answered in this Broadway-style hit that has sold-out since it was first shown.

Transcript[edit]

Act I, Scene One: Welcome to the Regime![edit]

The curtain dramatically rises. We, the audience, see wreckage of once beautiful buildings on fire. To the right, there is a crashed helicopter. To the left, spilled Ditto. In the center, on top of a toppled Explorer statue, is a solid golden throne, with satin, velvety cushions of a brilliant scarlet color.


Narrator (Mayor McFlapp): ...the bally future. The future is blinkin' bleak. No hope of joy. Since... since... since the day... wot a day, eh?

An actor waddles in. He is dressed as Explorer, though the propeller hat is missing a rotor, and he is wearing a ripped, brown, peasant robe. He seems to be very sad.


Explorer: (turning to the audience, somberly) Oh. Hello there. I see you're here for the Re-education, since none of you are used to the New World Order.


Several more actors come out.


Actor 1: Quite a shame that you've been annexed to the Mabel Regime.


Actor 2: Well, we might as well fill you in.



Melody to the Tipton/Welcome to The Regime.

Ironically happy music plays.


Melody: Welcome to the Tipton, by Disney.



The Furry Flats accompany Mayor McFlapp in playing the song jazz style.



Actor 1: Welcome to our regime!



Actor 2: Where everything is sweet!



Explorer: Report to the brainwashing or they'll hang you by your feet!



(An actor dressed as Fred does a back-flip onto the stage. His graduation cap is tattered, the tassel is missing, and he too is wearing a peasant robe.)



Fred: Welcome to the Land of lord Mabel, this Land is where you will stay! Answer to Overlord Mabel, or the dungeon is where you will lay!



Actor 3: Because Mabel's bad, she will make you sad, your food will come in nine days!


Explorer: At the Regime! It's your place to sslllavvveee!!


(Actors 1 and two start dancing next to each other)


1 & 2: You are to serve Master Mabel, Mabel controls you all your days! Hard labor, sadness and statues!


Explorer: You'll groom her on the next Tuesday!


All: Spend your life and serve your strife, Mabel will rule you this way!


Actor 1: (somersaulting) At the Regime!


Actor 2: (stands next to throne, does a quadruple back-flip onto the ground successfully) At the Regime!


Fred: At the Regime!


Explorer: Here's where you'll staaaaayyyy!


(Fred, background: oh someone save us!)


All: The Regime's where you'll spend your dayyys!


Actor 3: Get used to it!


(Music ends.)



Act I, Scene 2: The Grass is Greener... IN THE STILL-FREE COMMUNITY![edit]

Narrator: Now that you are acquainted with your new life in the Regime, wot?...


Actor 3: (faking happiness, doing it badly) Let's see what life is like outside the Annexed borders.




(Curtain Lowers)


A quick intermission where creatures go and get their snacks.


The Scene. Note the stark contrast!

The curtain raises once more, to show what is Outside the Mabel Regime. We can see a brilliant blue sky, clean, well taken lawns, bright, gleaming streams of water, and smiling faces of penguins and creatures NOT taken over by Mabel. To the far right of the scene is a HUGE, wrought iron fence with pictures of Mabel on it. Past the fence is a bleak, barren landscape. The sky is reddish-black, as common in dystopian lands, and there is an ENORMOUS statue of Mabel, twice as big as the house in Paradise, to the left.


The Gated Community/The Still-Free Community

Melody: The Gated Community, from the Big Idea Corporation. (Wait a bit, there's a narrator, THEN the song.)


Mayor McFlapp plays on a ukulele, and his secretary, Becky, plays on the piano.

thumb|75px|right|Melody for The Gated Community/The Still-Free Community.

Narrator: (dialogue) ...and now it's time for Bally Songs with Explorer! The part of the show were Explorer comes out and sings... a bally song, wot?


Narrator: (singing) There once was a slave, who lived in a hut, and this hut sat near what you see. To the left, ran a fence, the Regime's sole defense, next to a "Still Free Community"!


(speaking in background) I say, this is quite a neat-looking neighborhood, wot wot?


The slave, Explorer, is staring through the Fence.


Explorer: Can you let me in? Can you set me free? I'm trapped in Death can't you see? Can I climb over, can I run in, to your Still Free Community?


The citizens of the Still Free Community pay no heed. They come out of the house, dressed in traditional clothes of old, not the state-demanded peasant robes in Dystopia.


Free Citizens 1, 2, and 3: OH, the Freedom Community is where we like to be! We ain't ruled by Mabel, so our lives are filled with glee; and when people look over from that atrocity they'll see, WHAT A HAPPY BUNCH WE ARE IN OUR NON-MABEL UNITY!


Explorer sighs.


Explorer: Um... Can you let me in? Can you set me free? I'm trapped in Death can't you see? Can I climb over, and can I run in, to your Still Free Community?


Free Citizens 1, 2, and 3: OH, the Freedom Community is where we like to be! We never build stone-statues and our clothes are bought privately! When people look over from that atrocity they'll see, WHAT A HAPPY BUNCH WE ARE IN THE NON-MABEL UNITY!


Explorer slaps himself.


Free Citizens 1, 2, and 3: The Freedom Community, we think you will agree; is pleasantly devoid of Mabel-built debris!

(Free Citizen 2, bass, background: L O L oh Z!)


Free Citizen 1: (harmonic with the others below) The Freedom Community

Free Citizen 2: (harmonic in background with Citizen 1) Oh uuuunity

Free Citizen 3: Our smiles are always wide, in the land that still is free!

Free Citizen 2: (once again, background harmony) Smiles smile smile

Free Citizens 1 and 3: When people look over from that atrocity they'll see,

Free Citizen 2: (background harmony) they'll sstaaaand outside


Free Citizens 1, 2, and 3: WHAT A SMILING BUNCH WE ARE IN THE NON-MABEL UNITY!



Explorer (synchronized at once with Free Citizens): Can you let me in? Can you set me free? I'm trapped in Death can't you see? Can I climb over, and can I run in, to your Still Free Community?
Free Citizens 1, 2, and 3: OH, the Freedom Community is where we like to be! We ain't ruled by Mabel, so our lives are filled with glee; and when people look over from that atrocity they'll see,


Explorer: To the still Free Commu-


Free Citizens: WHAT A HAPPY BUNCH WE ARE!


Explorer: To the Still Free commu-


Free Citizens: WHAT AH HAPPY BUNCH WE ARE!


All: IN THE STILL FREE COMMUNITTYYYYYYYYYY!!


Narrator: This has been Bally Songs with Explorer, wot wot!


Citizen 3: Oh look! A peasant! Hi friend!


Narrator: Tune in next time to hear Explorer say, wot:

Explorer: OH, NOW YOU NOTICE ME!



Act I, Scene Three: The Mabel. The Mabel. Whoa, We Love the Mabel.[edit]

The curtain rises, we see several huts. Numerous penguins and other creatures are standing in a circle.


Slave 1: How are we going to get out of here? Those jerks at the Gated Community are to snooty to set us free...


Explorer: ...and I know it's going to get worse.


Fred: (nodding) Worse. Squared.


*gulp*


A loud bell rings.


BONG!


Fred: Oh great. It's time for the ceremony.


BONG!


Slave 2: Why do we do this again?


BONG!


Explorer: Mabel will hang us by our toes if we don't, remember?


BONG!




Everyone is at a large stone plaza. A big poster of Mabel is at the front of the auditorium, with a podium. An actor is playing Cadence. She is wearing a purple, tattered robe that says "SONG" on it. Her hair is dyed brown (Mabel hates non-pompous colors). Her earphones were replaced with earmuffs. She was very sad. Cadence then shuffled up to take her place at the podium.


Instead of starting the song right away, Cadence takes his baton and starts tapping.


Everyone looks at Cadence like she's gone crazy, until Fred gasps.


Fred: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!


Everyone shakes their heads, or does some other method of no.


Fred: THAT'S MORSE CODE!


Fred listens to the Code.

.... . .-. . .----. ... - .... . .--. .-.. .- -. - --- --. . - --- ..- - --- ..-. .... . .-. . .-.-.- .-.. --- -.-. -.- -- .- -... . .-.. .. -. .- -... .-. --- --- -- -.-. .-.. --- ... . - .- -. -.. ... - --- .-. -- - .... . --. .- - . -.. -.-. --- -- -- ..- -. .. - -.-- !


After a few minutes of thought, Fred translates the message.


Fred: ...it says... Cadence is saying... OH GOSH! She's saying: "HERE'S THE PLAN TO GET OUT OF HERE. LOCK MABEL IN A BROOM CLOSET AND STORM THE GATED COMMUNITY!"


The actors cheer.


Fred: She doesn't have a plan HOW to do it yet.


Cadence nods.


All: Aw......


Suddenly, a familiar voice echos over a PA system.


Mabel: I DON'T HEAR ANY SINGING!! DON'T MAKE ME BRING IN THE MILITARY!'


Everyone shivers at the mention of "military".


Cadence taps his baton, telling everyone to get ready.



thumb|75px|right|The Mabel Brainwashing Melody.

Melody: I Gave Everything that I Had for the Bunny, from the Big Idea Corporation.


Mayor McFlapp plays on his ukulele, Xavier from the Furry Flats plays on the guitar, Clyde from the Furry Flats plays on the trumpet, and Becky plays the drums.


The lights dim.


Cadence: The Mabel Song is how all us peasants will show all our devotion to the Mabel. How nothin' is more important than the Mabel! How we'd do (rolls eyes) AAAAANNNNNNYYYYYTTTTTHHHHHIIIINNNGGGG FOR THE MABEL! ...and, it goes something like this.


Everyone starts swaying in unison.


All: The Mabel. The Mabel. Whoa, we love the Mabel. We don't love our life, or our friends, just the Mabel.


Everyone starts clapping to the beat. Explorer turns to the audience, sticks out his tongue, points to it, and makes a gagging sound.


All: The Mabel. The Mabel.


Cadence: YEAH!


All: We love the Mabel.


All: We gave everything that we had for the Mabel. I don't want no freedom, I do not indeed. I'll bow down to Mabel, her orders I'll heed. I don't want no money, to spend private-lay. I'll stick with the state-owned, for Mabel did say. I won't play no games, and (emphasis) pranks are for fools! That stuff's un-civ'-lized, BUT MABEL IS CCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!! (Explorer gags after finishing the note.)



Cadence: I don't want no freedom oh this won't enable; I just want to work and bow down for the Mabel.


Peasants: I refuse to watch TV not even on cable; I just want to work and bow down for the Mabel.


Cadence: I'll stop all the pranks 'cause I'm willing and able; I just want to work and bow down for the Mabel.


Peasants: I won't go online with an Ethernet-cable; I just want to work and bow down to the Mabel.


(Cadence repeats all the phrases above, while the peasants repeat the Chorus)


Peasants: The Mabel. The Mabel. Whoa, we love the Mabel. We don't love our life, or our friends, just the Mabel.


Peasants: The Mabel. The Mabel. YEAH! We love the Mabel!


All: I GAVE EVERYTHING THAT I HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD... ffoorr the Maaaaabbellllll..........


The lights come back on. The peasants file out.




Actor 1: I hate doing that EVERY SINGLE DAY!


Actor 2: I know!


Explorer: ...I hate to admit, but that song has one of the most hypnotic beats I've ever heard. I find myself singing it on the occasion.


Fred: Explorer, that's brainwashing at work. Catchy, repetitive phrases and songs make societies mere puppets of the state.


Explorer: SO I'M BEING BRAINWASHED?!


Fred: What else do you think that is for?


Explorer: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!


(Mayor McFlapp comes onstage. He is the only character without tattered rags.)


Mayor McFlapp: I know, I know, me laddie buck, 'tis a shame you can't break out via Fourth Wall either, eh? You'll have t' wait until the end; I've been given strict orders t' not let you go 'till the time's right! Toodle-ooh now, an' don't forget that this will all soon be over...


(Mayor McFlapp flies offstage)


Explorer: What was 'that all about?


(Fred shrugs)



Act I, Scene Four: Mabel's High Silk Hat-tastrophe![edit]

Several actors are seen gathering in a secret cave (which, in reality, is several office chairs stacked upon each other, draped in a grey blanket).


Actor 3: I just found out from a reliable source that when Mabel was on the PA System during the brainwashing, she was far off. The song was broadcasted to her.


Fred: So?


Actor 3: So, her military is with her! We're alone! We can plot our plan to escape.


Actors 1, 2, and Explorer: (rejoicing) ALL RIGHT!


Fred: ...so... where is Mabel, then?


The curtain closes for another intermission. Everyone gets more snacks.




The curtain rises. We are in another area of Dystopia. We see Supreme Overlord Mabel sitting at a... bus stop. A broken, destroyed bus stop. Her black cape is flowing in he wind... two soldiers and her personal lawyer (in case of rebellious lawsuit) are with her. The lawyer is a huge, obese Jacko. He's been traveling with Mabel for a while, and he's tired.


Narrator: It seems we've found the Supreme Overlord. What in the name of bally ice pops could she be doing at a bus stop... wait... wot is she holding? Wot?


Soldier 1: I love your chocolate, Miss Almighty. Can I have some?


Mabel: NO!


Narrator: Hmm. it seems she has a bag o' chocolates. Eh, Mabel must be craving some more candy. She always craves candy, wot? Wait... is that a top hat?


Soldier 2: I love your top hat, madam. It's so... unique.


The Jacko soldier keeps hyperventilating.


Mabel: YOU MORON! Don't you understand class when you're looking at it? This isn't a top hat, it's a high silk hat.


Soldier 2: My sincerest apologies, Miss Almighty.


Mabel: Well, I wasn't going to keep it. I bought it so someone else couldn't. When I get home, I'll cut it and make an excellent crown out of it.


The Jacko soldier is panting heavily.



Soldier 1: ...and the chocolate?


Mabel: I'M GOING TO EAT IT, IDIOT!


Soldier 1: Oh.


Mabel acknowledges the Jacko.


Mabel: HEY, PERSONAL LAWYER! WHAT'S WRONG?



Personal Lawyer: Oh, zorry, my lady. I've just a little vinded. May I take 'zee seat?


Mabel: SIT DOWN?! ON MY BENCH?! NO! KEEP STANDING!



Personal Lawyer: So, how long do ze have to vait?


Mabel: The limo is broken. When the driver takes us home, if he comes, I'm hanging him by his toes.


thumb|75px|right|The melody for "Mabel's High Silk Hat-tastophre"!

The melody for "Mabel's High Silk Hat-tastophre"!

Narrator: And now it's time for Bally Songs with Mabel, the part of the play where--


DON'T YOU DARE WOT ME!
(The Director, a yellow puffle, runs onstage)


Director: STOP! STOP! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! WE'VE ALREADY RUN THROUGH A "BALLY SONG"!!!! AND DON'T "WOT" ME!!!!!!!!


(Mayor McFlapp dodges a blow from the Director's copy of the script.)


Director: Phil??? John Bob??? Come on, get the show on the road!!!!


(A cranking sound is heard in the background. The Director shoves another copy of the Script into Mayor McFlapp's wings.)


Narrator: *ahem* And now it's time for Classy Songs with Supreme Overlord Mabel. The part of the show where Supreme Overlord Mabel comes out and sings... a classy song. Hmm... a classy song, wot! Finally!


The dramatic music plays. For inexplicable reasons, a penguin in a fancy suit with "Mabel's Butler" on it enters, stage left, standing on the right side of the bench.


For the dramatic music, the National Symphony of South Pole City plays. The actual song is performed by Mayor McFlapp and a few of the Furry Flats. Mayor McFlapp plays on his ukulele, Danny plays the accordion, Zippy plays the flute, Clyde plays the trumpet, and Becky plays the drums. The invisible choir is played by the City Choir of Club Penguin.



Butler: One day, while she was waiting for the limo, she had a hat.


Mabel: (proudly) My high silk hat.


Butler: She wore, it upon her head so proudly. A beautiful hat.


Mabel: (more proudly) My high silk hat!


Butler: A hat, as this it makes her feel so grand-y. Better than this; better than that. The splendor, of this hat in all its majesty!



Mabel: It fits me, I'm all that!



Mabel: I feel so grand, and perfect in my hat! I rule this world they wish they had in fact,



Mabel and Butler: A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so grand, a high silk hhaaatttt!!



Mabel: (proudly, though no one but her minions are there) So tell me now Explorer, oh what do you think of that?


(If the real Explorer is attending the play, he will frown and stroke his propeller hat, Tittle.)


Butler: Now her hat, was not all she bore so proudly. I must in fact, show more than that. For upon, the bench there sat a treat so fondly, of chocolate this...


Mabel: (boasting) ...and chocolate that!



Butler: Deliciousness that is locked in such a candy, of chocolate this,



Mabel: (showing off) my chocolate snack!



Invisible Choir: And yet, I question 'bout this perfect candy, I wonder why, will make her fat?



Mabel says punctuation marks.



Mabel: I have my chocolate, it won't make make me that fat, I feel so good, you just can not top that!



Mabel: I have my snack, of chocolate that, of chocolate this and chocolate that! (showing off) So tell me now oh Shroomsky, now what do you think of that?!



Butler: Now time, was passing by the sun grew hotter, upon her hat.


Choir: -and chocolate snack.


Butler: So beneath, her hat she thought and pondered,


Mabel: (nervous) What shall I do, to save my hat!


The Jacko is hyperventilating; heat stroke is coming, and Mabel won't let him sit down!


Butler: She thought, and contemplated as she complained afire, beneath her hat,


Choir: -and melting snack.


Butler: We fear, her chocolate treats would soon retire, into a pool


Choir: -and then she'd snap!


Mabel: (very nervous, with a hint of annoyance) Perfection gone if I take off my hat, but the sun's getting hot and my hat just might get flat!


Mabel: My hat it might get flat, and my sweets would go like that!


The Jacko is becoming pale, he is wilting and losing his orange color due to heat exhaustion.


Soldier 2: (desperately) Oh, hurry limo driver, before she attacks us in a splat!


Butler: She decided to forgo her looks so gorgeous, to save her hat, more so her snack!


Butler: So she placed the treats on the seat beside her,



Soldier 1: -and put her hat, on top of that!


Mabel: Take heed, (Choir: take heed, take heed) should anybody sit close to me, upon my hat,


Mabel: I'll tie, you up inside my dungeon, so just stand back, away from my snack!


The Personal Lawyer Jacko surrenders to heat exhaustion, and sits down... RIGHT ON TOP OF MABEL'S HAT AND CHOCOLATE!!!!


Mabel turns in shock, glaring at the Jacko, who is sighing in relief, her eyes leering like daggers. She had not been that mad since Explorer tried to feed her puffle food.


Silence.


Mabel becomes so angry that she turns red and her fur becomes spiky, to the point of traditional puffle fur.


Mabel: OH AM-PER-SAND; CARET SIGN DOT HAT! AND TILDE, POUND, PARENTHESIS SLASH FLAT!



Mabel: INTERROBANG AND ASTERISK, AT-SIGN POUND MINUS SNACK!!!!



Mabel: OH TELL ME NOW WHAT TORTURE, SHOULD I DO TO HIM FOR THAT?


Soldiers 1, 2, and Choir: A FAT JACKO JUST SAT UPON HER HAT! A GREAT-BIG-ENORMOUS LAWYER PUMPKIN SQUISHED HER SNACK! IT SQUASHED HER HAT, IT MADE IT FLAT, IT SQUISHED HER SNACK, HOORAY FOR TTHHAAAAAAATT!!



The Limousine finally arrives. Everyone gets on except Mabel, who is too furious to notice. The Limo speeds off.


Mabel is left alone. Tails6000 walks by, inexplicably pushing a squeaky buggy containing rings and Mabel's personal Pengstations (though she's too angry to notice) and sees the Supreme Overlord Mabel. Before he can run off...


Mabel: SO TELL ME- ...um, who are you?


Tails6000: (sad) ...they never gave me a part. I've been asking since Scene One and they still haven't given me a part!


Tails6000 walks off.


Mabel: (no longer enraged) ...now what do you think of that?

Act II, Scene One: Fred Gets BRUTALLY Tortured, Complete with Pepper Gas[edit]

Several actors are huddled in the cave.


Actor 2: I just heard that Mabel's closest minions escaped after her lawyer sat on her treasures.


Actor 1: The Jacko?


Actor 3: If Mabel finds him, he will be a pie by sundown.


Fred: (annoyed) YOU CAN'T EAT PI!


Explorer: Says who?


Fred unsheathes his triangle. It gleams in the spotlight.


Fred: SAYS MY TRIANGLE, THAT'S-


The PA System goes off.


PA: Your attention please, would Freddell Explorer Antics VII please report to the you-know-what?


Everyone gasps.


All: NOT THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT!


Fred exits the cave and somberly waddles to the you-know-what.


Explorer: (turning to the others) So, let's discuss getting out of here...



The curtain closes. Everyone goes and gets the special raw Grey Fish treat (grey fish are rare, remember, they are worth more in-game), and come back. The curtain rises.


We see Fred, strapped to a cast-iron table, James Bond style. His flippers are clamped to the table, as are his feet, though you can't stretch bird feet very far.


The torturer steps out of the shadows and turns to Fred. He is very evil.


Fred: So tell me again, why am I in a suit?


Torturer: It's very fitting. (laughs evilly) You'll see.


He hauls out what looks like a HUGE weapon, which seems to shoot something from one concentrated point.


Fred: (shocked) OH, SWEET EXPONENTS ABOVE! That's a 700 TW (700×1012 W) laser! You're not going to *gulp*... cut me in half, are you?


Torturer: Oh, heck no! First, let me turn on the machine.


He does so. The machine whirs to life, and it realistically shakes the room. After some evil laughter, he continues.


Torturer: (faking an accent) Well, it's a shame I have to do this, Mister Antics. Any last words?


Fred: Is it true that you reenact movies every time you torture one of us? My friends tell me this.


Torturer: SILENCE!


The Torturer configures the machine right at Fred. Pressing a few buttons, what looks like a beam of purple starts spurting out onto Fred's suit. Fred knows exactly what it's doing.


Fred: (in agony) OH, NO! No! Not... not... NOT GRAPE JUICE! THAT WILL NEVER COME OUT!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! STOP, PLEASE STOP!


The Torturer laughs evilly and rubs his flippers together.


Torturer: Heh heh. Oh no, clean freak. I've got MORE TO DO TO YOU!


Fred screams. The suit is insanely stained.


Torturer: Give me your triangle.


Fred: Wh-wh... WHAT?! No! Not my favorite triangle! WHICH ONE?


Torturer: Oh, just the one that Supreme Overlord Mabel never took from you. Um, THE STAINLESS STEEL ONE? The one that was carved with laser precision, the one that you polish daily with the rags you are alloted? THAT ONE?


Fred trembles.


Fred: NO! NOT THE RIGHT TRIANGLE! THAT ONE IS PERFECTLY ISOCELES!


Narrator: That bally Torturer then takes Fred's Player Card and steals his triangle! He waves it in front of the shackled penguin, who is now crying, wot. He shows no blinking mercy to our friend. Wot! That ain't bally right!


Torturer: Now, if you excuse me, I'll be using this to patch up my toilet. The bowl section is leaking and I have to plug it ninety degrees through.


Fred cries terribly. He looks so pitiful, much like F giving The Look. Mayor McFlapp looks on, enraged.




The Torturer walks upstairs. We hear flushing sounds. Fred is left alone, in a stained suit, his triangle gone and stuck to a toilet. It couldn't get worse. The machine shuts off, and the lights dim.


Narrator: Knowing he will never see his bally triangle again, our friend looks back on a memory lane, wot? Eh, let's watch.


The curtain closes. After another snack intermission, the curtain rises, where we see a new song unfolding.



thumb|75px|right|The melody for "His Triangle".

The melody for "His Triangle".

Narrator: And now it's time for Bally Songs With Clyde, the part of the show where---


(Mayor McFlapp notices the Director glaring at him.)


Narrator: Oh, now wot? Could y' at least give me the bally script? I think this one has a few typos, wot wot?


(The Director gives Mayor McFlapp yet another copy of the Script.)


Narrator: ...eh, and now it's time for... Love Songs Narrated by Clyde. The part of the show where Clyde comes out... and narrates, um, a bally Love Song... wot...?


Mayor McFlapp plays the electric guitar, Xavier from the Furry Flats plays the bass guitar, Danny from the Furry Flats plays synth, Becky plays the drums, and a few penguins from the City Choir of Club Penguin are backup singers.


We see a store and a cashier clerk at the mega-office supplies chain, Office Swell. A young actor plays Fred as a chick, who is looking over the counter, barely tall enough to see it. He is in a graduation cap that is too big for him, and a small plaid shirt. He is also wearing a pair of glasses.


Clyde: (background, grinning insanely) All right! I LOVE ROMANCE STORIES!


Clyde: Fred said to the clerk "I'd like a triangle, and I want it isoc'les as well." The clerk said, "I can't give you either," and Fred said "Is this not Office Swell?"


Fred frowns at the clerk.


Clyde: She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now, but we open tomorrow at ten."


Clyde: Fred said, "-I really need that right an-gle... but I guess can wait until then!"


Clyde: 'Cause you're his triangle! His precious triangle, he'll wait for you, yeah, he'll wait for you, oh! You are his triangle, right angle triangle! He'll wait for you to..... oh, he will wait for you................


Fred waddles outside. The front of the store is shown. Young Fred is seen sleeping outside, kind of like when someone gets in line for a new console at dawn.


Clyde: Fred stayed at the entrance 'till sunrise, he may have dozed off once or twice; when he spied such ad from a rival: CALCULATORS AT HALF PRICE! How could he resist such an offer? A graphing one was what he would need! TRIANGLE PLEASE DO NOT GET ANGRY! He'll buy, then be back here indeed!



Clyde: 'Cause you're his triangle! His precious triangle, he'll wait for you, yeah, he'll wait for you, oh! You are his triangle, right angle triangle! He'll wait for you to..... oh, he will wait for you................


A spotlight shines on Clyde. He looks down and lowers his face to the floor.


Clyde: (passionately, still looking down) 'CAUSE HE LOVES YOU TRIANGLE WITH ALL HIS HEART, THERE AIN'T NOTHING ON THE GRID TEAR YOU TWO APART! And if the world only sold ones obtuse-y, the he'd fall upon his flippers see, to see if someone threw a knife right into the dirt, and he would cut ninety for you! Cut ninety for you! (looks up) CUT NINETY DEGREES CLEAN JUST FOR YYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!



Clyde's hat falls off in his intense emotional solo. In a true love-song fashion, he places it back on his head and nonchalantly blows off the dust, turning the rotor. Some puffles swoon here. Clyde's a lady's man. He takes a breath and continues.


Clyde: (softly) Yooouuuu aarrre his tri-ang-ggglllllle..........


Clyde bows and calmly walks off the stage to thundering applause (and a few "CALL ME" catcalls), not smiling (which was amazing, since he rarely can do serious). Everyone could clearly tell he was passionate and into this song.


(Intro music continues in the background)


Mayor McFlapp: (sobbing intensely) ...*sniff sniff* T-This h-h-has b-b-een *sob sob sob* B-Bally L-L-Love S-Songs with... oh, it's too much! *sniff* BOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!


Director: (offstage, to Clyde) I thought you were going to sing about his childhood on the Peninsula!


Becky: (taking over for Mayor McFlapp, who is still crying) This has been Love Songs with Clyde! Tune in next time to hear Fred say:


Fred: I grew up in Eastshield!


Music stops; lights fade to dark.



The curtain closes, and after an intermission, the curtain rises and we see the torture chamber once more. The lights come back on.


Fred sighs. A very loud flatulence sound is heard that shakes the bear lightbulb in the chamber. A flushing sound follows.


The Torturer comes downstairs.


Torturer: (sighing in relief) ...aaaaaaahhhhh... Oh, and by the way... I fixed my toilet.... but you won't want your triangle back. TRUST ME. Yeah... if you heard that, you would understand.


Fred cries insanely. The actor was doing such a good job that, if he is attending, the real Explorer feels like throwing gourds and cucumbers at the Torturer.


Torturer: (laughing evilly) I'm so glad I ate that burrito! Well, you're torture is done.


Fred is crying too hard to notice. The Torturer rolls his eyes and sprays pepper spray (a prop) at Fred. He screams in agony and stops crying. Tears are pouring, and he looks pitiful, almost as if he is GIVING the Look. The audience made a group aww... The Torturer sprays Fred with more pepper spray, then catapults him (with a parachute) through the window, where he soars back to where he came.


Torturer: (tossing his pepper spray like a coin) Man, I LOVE my job!


Narrator: *growls audibly* You'll get wot for, y' bally picklin' bully! Mark my words, when that clock's (Mayor McFlapp points to a nearby clock in the back of the stage) minute hand rests on the 11, you will be goin' bally down!




The curtain closes, leaving the audience to discuss what they saw.




The curtain rises. We see the cave. The other actors are talking. Fred has yet to return. He landed far off.



Act II, Scene Two: We Will Use Her As A Footstool Or A Table To Eat Nachos On Then Tie Her Up And Slap Her Rump And Throw Her Out Of Dystopia![edit]

All the actors are speaking in the cave. It is dark. A splat is heard outside. The actors come to see Fred, eyes burning, that suit stained beyond use, and crying like he had not in years.


The actors lift Fred up, who is still crying.


Explorer: Dear waffles above, what did they do to you?!


Fred: (sobbing, trembling) ...th-the triangle... the t-t-t-t-toilet... pepper spr-s-sps-spray... so much clogging......... b-burr-it-t-tooooo!!!! GGAAAHHHH!!


Explorer understands.


Explorer: (loudly) THAT'S IT. WE DESTROY MABEL AT DAWN.


Three creatures burst into the cave. They are wearing white, non-ripped robes and gold trim with provinical (as in local ruler) crowns, and glasses and bowties. They are all Dorkugese penguins. They look at the peasants.


Actor 1: AAAAHHH! IT'S THE PROVINCIAL GOVERNORS!


Actor 2: What are you here for? We were just huddling together for warmth.


Governor 1: ...I thought we (adjusts glasses) heard an plot to destroy Mabel.


Actor 3: Plot? What plot? There's no plot here...


Governor 2: (holds up tape recorder) This plot.


Tape: WE DESTROY MABEL AT DAWN.


Explorer: (under his breath) Dumb nerds.


Fred: ALL RIGHT! YES!



(The Governors all adjust their glasses. One snorts.)



Explorer: (trying to cover Fred's mistake) Don't listen to him... he just became back from the you-know-what!



The Governors sigh.



Governor 3: Darn. We wanted to help you.


All: WHAT?!


Governor 2: Do you actually think we have any power as provinicial governors? Mabel only assigned us these positions so she wouldn't have to admnister the so-called boring parts of government. My job is tax bookkeeping.


Governor 3: Mine is waste management. I throw detergent in the private outhouses and state-owned public bathrooms.


All: Eeeewwww!



Governor 1: (adjusts glasses) ...and I'm supposedly the leader. I sit at a desk and draw stuff all day... while tracking my friends. When we're off the job, we play board games. We want to destroy Mabel for the good of the commoner!


Governor 2: ...and so I can get my favorite board game: Mazes and Mabels!


Explorer: Wait, you mean the one where you roll three dice and move through a sprawling maze before a giant Mabel runs over your piece? Where on player moves the Mabel with one die, and said Mabel is poorly drawn?


Governor 3: That's the one! It's banned for insulting Mabel.


Explorer: I know. It's my favorite board game, too.


Governor 1: I stole one from the local vault. (holds up game)


Actor 3: Well, you hate Mabel... we hate Mabel...want to conspire with us?


The three nerds nod.



The curtain lowers.




After an intermission, we see the Governor Building interior. It's a stone building with yellow painted linings (those things adjacent to the floor and ceiling) and huge wooden doors.


Governor 1: Okay. So we KNOW we'll storm the Gated Community sometime.



Governor 2: Yes. Those free citizens are so snooty.



Governor 3: Then what?



Everyone starts thinking.




thumb|75px|right|The melody for Mabel's Torture ideas.

The melody for Mabel's Torture ideas.

Mayor McFlapp plays the tuba, Clyde and Danny from the Furry Flats play on the saxophone, Zippy from the Furry Flats plays the clarinet, and Becky plays the drums.


Everyone stands in the center of the building where a large card table is placed out. On it, there are sveral pieces of paper and an ebony pencil (the kind artists use for outlining). In the front of the room, Explorer, armed with purple marker, is standing beside an empty easel.


Music Begins.


Explorer: Oh no, what are we gonna do? Mabel wounded Fred, which makes rage in me and you. Oh no, what are we gonna do? We gotta get her out of here!



Actors 1, 2, and 3: Revenge, that's what we will do! Even if it breaks the COC, we'll do it anywho. Revenge, that's what we will do! We're gonna kick Mabel's rear!


Governor 1: (nasally) We could throw her in some hot fudge, bake her crispy, warm and well!


Explorer smiles and makes a crude drawing on the easel.


Governor 2: (tenor) We could drag her to the ocean, have her Dittoed by a seal.


Explorer grins evilly and draws again.




The actors repeat the slow phrases above while the Governors rapidly chant the next ideas. Explorer, meanwhile, is rapidly scribbling extremely crude drawings of the plots all over the easel.



Governor 3: (background) We could lock her in a closet lock her for a while, then open it and make her kiss the Winston with a smile!


Governor 1: (background) Or tie her to a CartSnail's back and shave off all her fur, take a big fat photo of her whining as loser!


Explorer: SING IT TO ME!


Explorer is dancing like crazy.


Governors: We could feed her lotsa ice cream and then take it all away, or fill her mouth with O'berries and nostrils full of sherbet! Then we'll use her as a footstool or a table to eat Nachos on, then tie her up and slap her rump and throw her out of Dystopia!


Fred limps over.


Fred: OR... (whispers...)


(various whoots, oh yeahs, and uh-huhs follow)


Actors 1, 2, and 3: I like it!


Explorer: IT'S SNEAKY!


Governor 1: And it


Governor 2: just


Governor 3: might


Fred: WORK!


All: We will use her as a footstool or a table to eat Nachos on then tie her up and slap her rump and throw her out of Dystopia!


Everyone does a festive conga-line to the mighty doors in the back. Explorer, who is last in line, slams them shut.


Doors: BOOM BOOM!




The curtain lowers for an intermission. Everyone goes to get snacks. When they get back, the curtain rises to show Mayor McFlapp, who is dressed in tropical attire, snoozing in a deck chair under a palm tree.


Clock in the back of the theater: RIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The clock's minute hand has reached the 11.


Mayor McFlapp wakes up instantaneously and snaps his, uh.... " fingers"? The torturer from Scene One appears in a flash of smoke.


Mayor McFlapp: (ominously, to torturer) You.... are... going.... bally.... down.


The curtain closes. We hear bangs, explosions, and other loud noises coming from behind the curtain. A loud scream follows. The curtain rises again. Mayor McFlapp is again sitting in his deck chair. The stage floor is charred with smoke rising from it, and the torturer has vanished. Sitting on Mayor McFlapp's lap is a small black puffle.


Mayor McFlapp: (stroking the puffle) I say, being the Narrator is a bally fun job, wot wot?


The curtain falls.

Act II, Scene Three: Str00dels?![edit]

The curtain rises. Everyone is still in the Governor Building.


Explorer: Wow. I sure would like to do that to Mabel.


Everyone nods. Unfortunately, Explorer takes out a golden scroll, not breaking the Fourth Wall.



Governor 1: Oh, right. The COC. Ban would get us.


A group 'Awwwwwww' ensues.....


Governor 2: Well, I do know some people who could help us break out of here.


Governor: 3: He's right. Then we could get outside reinforcements.


Explorer: ...but who in the freed lands can help?


Governor 1 whispers to Explorer.


Explorer: You're kidding! Them?


The others nod.


Explorer: ...how could we contact them? Anyone who is caught using a phone will be forced to watch What?!? twelve times in a row!


Governor 2: (snickering) Who said anything about phones?


Governor 2 exits the room through the mighty doors. He comes back with a contraption the size of an old, non-flat computer monitor, as tall as two puffles.


Governor 3: That's a Ham Radio. We can contact anyone owning a radio with it.


Fred: Nice.


Governor 1: One problem, however: someone is going to have to hold this on the roof.


Governor 1 holds up an Analog Antenna.


Explorer: I'll do it!



Governor 2: Okay, but I'm not finished. They also have to hold it in the air, stand on one flipper and bend over backwards.



Explorer: No way!


All: No take-backs!


Governor 3: You will also have to wear these to maintain the antenna's power.


He holds up a skirt and hairbow made entirely of copper, hooked together by two more wires. Explorer stands, mouth agape.


Explorer: WHY THAT?!


Governor 1: The copper will keep your body from blocking the signal, probably strengthening it if we hook you, the copper, the antenna, and the Ham Radio together.


Explorer: I get that... but why a skirt?!


Governor 2: What's more suspicious? What looks like a girl dancing on a roof with a baton or a nerd working a signal with a machine?


Explorer: ...


Governor 3: Don't answer that.


Explorer puts on the items, exits the building, and climbs on top with the antenna and wiring.


Explorer: I'm ready!


The nerds turn on the Ham Radio.


Governor 1: Come in, come in! Do you here me?


Voice over radio: Static l0L, | h33r U lowd aND cl3er!


All but Governors: Captain Str00del?!



Governor 2: Of course! He and Sp00nzoid, Newman, and the other Harmless members of the Force were on a road trip with Professor Shroomsky.



All: PROFESSOR SHROOMSKY?



Governor 3: Yes! Professor Shroomsky really likes them, and he wanted to take a trip with them. Melvin is there too.


Everyone stares.


Governor 1: They're honorary members!


Fred: Here, let me talk to Shroomsky. (Fred takes the microphone.)


Fred: Hello? Professor Shroomsky?



Shroomsky: I'm listening.


Fred: Why don't you say hello like everyone else on a conversation? ...anyway, I heard you and the, um, Str00del Force are taking a road trip. What exactly are you riding in?


The Str00del Force's corporate vehicle.

Shroomsky: ...the Str00del's corporate vehicle, a Yippie Mobile. Why exactly do you ask?


Actor 2: (interrupting) Why exactly, is it called a Yippie Mobile?


Professor Shroomsky: That is because when the vehicle drives over a pothole or speed bump-


*a bumping sound is heard, followed by screams of merriment*


Shroomsky: (with the others) HUZZAH!! -(slightly embarrassed)... ahem, that's why.


Fred: Okay... well, can you drive through the fence into the Mabel Dystopia? We need help with reinforcements to coup her.


Shroomsky: ...as much as the Str00dels and I would (sarcastically) LOVE to crash through a massive barrier, we're actually heading somewhere.


Fred: Where?!




The curtain closes. After an intermission, we see the curtain rise, revealing the Str00del's Yippie Mobile. It's on a conveyor belt to imitate movement.


Captain Str00del is driving the vehicle, and actually doing it very well. Professor Shroomsky is in the shotgun seat directly to the left. Sp00nzoid and Newman have also tagged along, and so has Turtleheimer, but he is deeply sleeping.


thumb|75px|right|The melody for The Strudel of Razzamatizido.

The melody for The Strudel of Razzamatizido.

Professor Shroomsky is the primary singer. However, despite his formality and vocabulary, he speaks with a Southern accent. Sp00nzoid is playing the acoustic guitar with his so-called "spoons". Though they are actually electric guitars, using them to eat tapioca pudding severely damaged their acoustics.

Before we begin, "Razzamatazzido" is pronounced Razz-uh-muh-tazz-zee-dough


Professor Shroomsky: The Strudel of Razzamatazzido, it lies atop the Mount Castro, far from Mabel where cold winds blow, The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!


Professor Shroomsky: Proceed!


Str00del: l3tZ g0!


All: to the Strudel of Razzamatazzido!


Newman: My book is packed, I'm set to go!


Professor Shroomsky: Our fun has now just begun, I repeat, our fun has now just begun!


Newman: My book is packed, I'm set to go! Our fun has now just begun!


Shroomsky: Proceed!


Captain Str00del: l3Tz go!


Professor Shromsky: To the Strudel of Razzamatazzi- WHOA!


Captain Str00del slams the breaks of the vehicle next to a shack. As the ghost phases through the door, Shroomsky calls to him."


Professor Shroomsky: What did I say, can't be here today, you've just got an errand to run?!


Captain Str00del: | jUst h4V3 to get a w4fFlE!


Professor Shroomsky: (annoyed) You just have to get a waffle? ...well, if you insist I suppose, we will deal with this minor delay.


Sp00nzoid: (echoing Shroomsky) d33L wif dIs m|en0r d3Lay.


Newman: Hey Shroomsky! Who made this Strudel anyway?


Professor Shroomsky: Oh, I've been waiting for that! (*Takes out diagram*)


Professor Shroomsky: A polar bear named Joe Maggoe, he made the Strudel so long ago, to knock down walls and tear up snow, that's The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!


Captain Str00del passes back through the door holding a crate of waffles, half empty. If he wasn't a ghost, he would have burped.


Professor Shroomsky: Proceed!


Sp00nzoid: leTz g0!


Professor Shroomsky: To the Strudel of Razzamatazzi- WHOA! What is it now, the strudel's that way!


Captain Str00del: | jUSt n33d 2 bY3 4 c3|lINg f4N!


Professor Shroomsky: Why in the name of laminins do you need a ceiling fan?


Captain Str00del: w3lL, | h0p3 to m4kE iT rUn oN sUNN p0w3R!



The Captain phases through the door, but pops back in.



Captain Str00del: N-y b0dY n33d N-y thing?


Newman: Uh, maybe a new laser gun with seven gigawatts of power and a snowcone machine... and perhaps a new copy of the Link's Adventure game...



Professor Shroomsky is annoyed beyond belief. He would have banged his head on the dashboard had he not been wearing glasses.



The Captain comes back with the items. He ties the Laser onto the top of the van. It is about as big as the van itself. The snowcone machine is in the trunk. They continue on their way. Newman is eating a snowcone.



Captain Str00del: sHr00MSk33, wH4tz moR3 sp3Ci4l aboUt thiS Str00del th4n 0tH3r stR00delz?



Professor Shroomsky: Well... since you want to know... The Strudel of Razzamatazzido was lost to this world many years ago, until my mother Sherpaysheo came and fell on the frozen dough of The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!


Professor Shroomsky: Proceed!


Captain Str00del: l3tZ g0!


Professor Shroomsky: To the Strudel of Razzamatazzi- WHOA!


The van comes to a halt at a small vendor.


Professor Shroomsky: No not again, that's as wrong as DNA being spelled with a z!


Captain Str00del passes through the door and back, holding a baseball cap that says "Foxy Grandpa" and another that says "Waffles for Life".


Str00del: | G0t to H4v3 4 cAp!


Shroomsky: A what?


Str00del: 4 c4P!


Shroomsky: A what?!


Str00del: LOL, a c4p!



Passengers: OH, A CAP!


Str00del hands the Foxy Grandpa hat to Newman, the other he stashes in his inventory.


Professor Shroomsky: The Strudel of Razzamatazzido, The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!


Sp00nzoid: th3 j0Y!


Captain Str00del: th3 thRilLz!


Newman: ...I dropped my snowcone.


All: The Strudel! The Strudel! The Strudel of Razzamata- ...



All stop to see a Painful Bear standing next to a podium with crumbs on it. The bear burps.


Bear: Mmmmm.... strawberry...


Professor Shroomsky: --do... *faints*


Captain Str00del cries loudly at the loss of a special strudel.


Newman: Str00del, you fool, you made a wrong turn!


Professor Shoomsky notices a plaque on the podium.


Professor Shroomsky: ...the biscuit... of Earl?



Professor Shroomsky: BACK TO THE VAN! BACK TO THE VAN! It isn't too late, let's go!



All: So high atop the Mount Castro, far from Mabel where cold winds blow, The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!



Professor Shroomsky: We're almost there, this is so great!



Sp00nzoid: h00 w4Ntz to fIrsT |c3 sK4te?



All but Shroomsky: ME!!!



Professor Shroomsky: AMPERSAND!


Professor Shroomsky starts complaing about how they won't be able to get the Strudel and ram the walls of Dystopia with its frozen dough.


Everyone except Shroomsky: (in background, Shroomsky continues to complain) The Strudel of Razzamatazzido, it lies atop the Mount Castro, far from Mabel where cold winds blow, The Strudel of Razzamatazzido!




The curtain closes. A quick intermission and more snacks, and it rises again to see the Governor's building.


Fred: I just talked to Professor Shroomsky. They were heading for something called "The Strudel of Razzamatazzido" on Mount Castro.


Governor 1: In the now-ceded Antarctic Peninsula?


Govenor 2: Yep.


Fred: The Professor says that they nearly got there when Captain Str00del suddenly decided to go ice skating before seeing the strudel. It's going to be a while... it was also said they wanted to use the Strudel as a large battering ram to knock down the Wall and free us all.


Governor 3: Now what?


The curtain closes.

Act II, Scene 4: Mabel's Ego can Not Fit inside this Continent[edit]

After an intermission, the curtain rises. We see Mabel in her black cape, a crown on her head, finally having reached her grand palace. She is eating her favorite food, shrimp puffs, while slurping down coffee, her favorite drink. On a giant 110x110 deluxe plasma screen television, the "WHAT?!?" movie is playing full blast. Manny Peng is tied to a wooden chair next to her, struggling and crying, trying to escape. This is his Torture. The Torturer, not letting a mere species change get in the way of his favorite job, is snickering next to Manny, shoving vegetables down his mouth.


Manny: WOO PLOOPY! ME WANT TO GO HWOME!


Mabel smiles evilly and turns up the volume. The Torturer is wearing earplugs, or some sort of noise reduction device for puffles.


Manny: WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!


A grandfather clock strikes 7:00. Suddenly, it stops ringing, and pieces fly out.


Mabel: Euro! The clock broke again!


Mabel takes out a bell and rings it.


Mabel: HEY! COME FIX MY CLOCK!


Footsteps are heard. We see Doctor Hickory Dickory Dock enter the room, wearing Mabel glasses, in his signature brown robe, a boater hat on his head.


Doctor Hickory: What is it?


Mabel: Get your two hearts over there and FIX MY CLOCK, human!


Doctor Hickory: For the last time, I'm not human, I'm the Time Lo-


Mabel: I know, Time Lord! That's why I hired you! Now, FIX MY CLOCK!


The Doctor slaps his hand upon his forehead, then proceeds to take out a futuristic tool and works on the clock.


Torturer: Master, all of the clients are receiving their torture. Manny is watching the greatest movie ever...


Manny screams in the background.


Torturer: Doctor Hickory is now your clock repairman...


The Doctor is complaining and fixing the clock.


Torturer: I used Fred's triangle, heh heh, and Sensei is your plumber...


Sensei is screaming in haiku while using the "Mighty Plunger" card (it's real!) on a clogged toilet.


Torturer: While the Mathster and ZapWire are locked in a technology free room. ZapWire in particular is surrounded by smiling pictures of Bill Gates and Doors logos.


ZapWire is screaming in terror in the background.


Toturer: Speaking of Bill Gates and Doors, he is surrounded by hundreds of green paper we found in his suitcase being burnt.

Bill Gates is shouting buissness options

Torturer: We also tracked down the Director of the PSA. Since he is nothing but a black silhouette, he made a perfect coat rack.


Mabel laughs at the Director, who is tied to a steel pole, with outstretched flippers holding Mabel's spare capes, her glasses, and a boater hat or two.


Torturer: Anything else, my leige?


Mabel: No!


Mabel lounges in her golden throne. She looks around at the sculptures and paintings and posters of herself, the plumber Sensei, the crying Manny, the miserable Mathster, the screaming ZapWire, and The Director of the PSA as a coat rack.


Mabel: (sighs happily) I LOVE MY LIFE.


Melody: Fabulous, from High School Musical II.

thumb|75px|right|The Melody for Fabulous/Mabel's Ego


The Furry Flats refused to do this one because they said it was too "girly." Thankfully, Master DJ X had a spare disc in his inventory. Mayor McFlapp plays the piano in the song's intro.


Mabel: It's out with the old, and in with the new. Goodbye pranks and schemes, hello my regime. Explorer's my slave, a crying Mwa Mwa, my life is so well, THE WHOLE WORLD ACCORDING TO MMMMMMMMOOOOOIIIII!!!!


(Mayor McFlapp, who is playing the piano, "accidentally" plays a minor chord instead of a major.)


Mabel: (not realizing who the Mayor is) Excuse me?


(Mayor McFlapp sighs and corrects the chord.)


Mabel: Thank you.


Mabel: Gold thrones stole from Freezeland. Repairmen imported in pain! Coat racks imported from Club Penguin, I'm driving that baby insaaane. (Manny Peng screams in agony)


Mabel: It's good to be in charge, to issue... you, go, do!


Mabel: I am fabulous! I led a perfect conquest! Life is fabulous, when foes are all laid to rest! I need someone to torture to help me get along, and I look like an emp-er-ress, is that so wrong?


The Torturer sprays tear gas in Mathster's eyes. The twelve year old penguin starts to cry.


Mabel: (to a chained Kentucky) You there, go cook me my dinner. Where is my deluxe coffee float?


Mabel: I need Explorer on dartboards, and then I could go for some throoows.


Mathster: (in misery) The world, it has just hit the floor!


Mabel: I, need, more!


The Torturer sprays pepper gas in Manny Peng's eyes.


Torturer: (bass) She is fabulous! She led a perfect conquest! Her life is fabulous, when foes are all laid to rest! She needs someone to torture to help her get along, and she looks like an emp-er-ress, is that so wrong?


Doctor Hickory: Fabulous tools.


ZapWire: A fabulous thrash.


Kentucky: Got fabulous shrimp puffs,


Mabel: I have fabulous cash!


Director Benny: (sarcastically) Fabulous fashion.


Tortuer: She fabuosly sings,


Mabel: I have to have fabulous everything!


All: Nothing to discuss!


Mabel: Everything must be perfect... for ME!


Torturer: (bass) She is fabulous! She led a perfect conquest! Her life is fabulous, when foes are all laid to rest! She needs someone to torture to help her get along, and she looks like an emp-er-ress, is that so wrong?


Mabel: Pranks won't do! Your fun's a bore. Explorer's revolting! (to Sensei) Do my chores!


Mabel: I am I am... I am I am... I am I am...


Mabel: I AM FFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Torturer: (synchronized with Mabel holding her long note) She is fabulous! She's so fabulous!


All but Mabel: Fabulous fur, fabulous style, fabulous glasses, and Explorer is vile!


Mabel: Oh I like what I see! I like it a lot!


Mabel: Oh this is fabulous, fabulous fabuloooouuus!


Mayor McFlapp: You've got to be kiddin'... WOT!




The curtain closes for intermission, leaving the audience to perform "O_O" and comment on their opinions.



Act II, Scene Five: WE PROTEST![edit]

The High Penguins and their picket signs.


The curtain rises. We see numerous High Penguins in the run down but still free outskirts of Freezeland.


Mayor McFlapp: Ah, Freezeland. Well, not so much of "ah" as it used to be, wot. Bally cut off from the rest of the Antarctic continent, their blinkin' weapons gone, and Chief Triskelle off at a faraway war council, the High Penguins decided enough is enough. Yet, what could they do? Plenty, that's wot. Rippin' bally pieces of chair and grabbing their picket signs, they got enough flippin' spirit for TWO nations.


HP 1: Our neighbors have been suffering for FAR too long. Our weapons are gone, but our spirit is untouched. Fellow High Penguins, will we just let them get pushed around, or will we take ACTION?


All HPs: WE TAKE ACTION!


HP 1: That's the spirit! Penguins, grab your picket signs, we've got CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE to perform!



Music: Be Our Guest, from the Disney corporation, 1991.

thumb|75px|The Music for "Be Our Guest / We Protest!"

The curtain closes. Mayor Mcflapp flies onto the stage, in front of it, as he begins to speak.


Music begins.

Mayor McFlapp: Fellow audience. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight; and now, we invite you to stand up, pick up a chair, as the High Penguins boldly present ................... a protest.


The curtain rises, where we see a large gathering of HPs. They are holding picket signs baring phrases such as "MABEL IS STUPID", "DEATH TO TYRANNY", "FREEDOM OR BUST", and "I LIKE PIE". Some are also holding broken pieces of chairs to use as clubs, as well as wagonfuls of snowballs, pitchforks, and torches. To the far left, a fountain. The Mabel army is far away, administrating the "We Love Mabel" brainwashing song.


HP 1: (quietly at first) We protest. We protest. Without freedom, we won't rest! Grab your pickets and your snowballs and we'll rid them of that pest! We are free, not ordered, that Mabel we'll never serve!


HP 2: We'll attack her, we'll be vicious, do believe we'll slap with fishes!


HP 1: We'll make it sting, we'll make her dance, after that she'll have no chance! Our fighting spirit here is never second best!


(everyone tosses up their picket signs and catch them)


HPs 1 and 2: Go on and grab your torches, step straight off your porches, help protest, help protest, we protest.


HP1 and Choir: We'll go through, lead the way, beat her up without a say. We'll prepare and serve with flair a military array! (choir makes high pitched "ah" while HP 1 continues, other HPs dive into the fountain in synchronization) We're alone, but not scared, a grand rebellion we've prepared!


HP 2: No one's gloomy nor complaining, this fight is entertaining!


HP 1: They'll make jokes, call us hicks, but in the end WE'LL do the tricks!


HPs in Fountain: We are the one's she'll have to face that's what we bet!


(HPs form partners and toss their picket signs like batons, their partners do a backflip and catch them)


HPs 2: Go on and grab your snowballs we'll make her regime fall, oh we protest, if you're stressed, Mabel OWNAGE we suggest! We protest we protest we protest!


HP 1: (sadly, almost in mourning-ish tone) Life is so disturbing, when it's Mabel you are serving, it's so droll without a soul that's having fun. Those good old days when all was peaceful, suddenly those good old days are gone. For years, their lives were rusting, in pure hope they have been trusting, needing freedom and a chance to have some thrills. Most days they just slaved away with hassle, really going crazy but never were we lazy!


(Everyone starts jumping up and down in unison while a female High Penguin comes out with a pitchfork)


Female HP: We protest! We protest! We'll attack Mabel without rest! Make her sore and hurt her more in ways they'll never be suppressed! Clobber her and make her scream, if it hurts that's fine with me! While we all attack her doings she'll be angry, she'll be stewing! Attack in swarms, miss her not, unbruised body not a spot! We'll clobber her until she is depressed! We've got a LOT to do let's get it going through, oh we protest, we protest!


(quick illegible singing in background, please write it if you can understand it)


Choir: It's been years they have lived in fear and WE'RE OBSESSED! To the peace we all appease, yes indeed we'll set you free!


(write some choreography here please)


Choir: WHILE THE REVOLUTION'S GROWING, WE WILL FIGHT WE WILL KEEP GOING!


(Everyone starts thrusting their picket signs and other items in the air to the tune)


All and choir: Course by COURSE, one by ONE, we'll march in, AND MAKE HER RUN!


(Female HP hits INCREDIBLE high note)


Choir: Then we'll lock her in broom closet we suggest!!


All: So soon we'll prop our feet up, but for now let's keep up! We protest! We protest! We protest! OOOHHHH WWWEEEEEEE PPPPPRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(The second the song ends, the curtains snap closed, leaving the audience to start whooping and hollering with a standing ovation to the INCREDIBLE HP musical number!)




Mayor McFlapp: (over the cheering audience) WHOA. Didn't see that bally comin', wot!



Act III, Scene One: Greased Lightning, the Missile[edit]

The curtain rises. We see a crumbled building, it looks like a run-down version of the GourdZoid Council Hall. Several candles are burning, and a rather ornate wooden table is in the middle. A crowd of penguins are gathered around it. We see Explorer, Fred, Mayor McFlapp, the Mayor's cousin, Farquin F. Windsorrel, Kwiksilver, Speeddasher, Midas, Herb, and Professor Shroomsky among others. In the background, there are two large doors.


A gavel slamming is heard.


Kwiksilver: The Krytocracy-in-Exile War Council Underground has come to order. The (sort of) Honorable Mayor McFlapp now presiding in place of the late Judge Xavier.


Everyone: JUDGE XAVIER, MAY HE REST IN PEACE.


Mayor McFlapp: Quite. Now, as you all know, that blinkin' Mabel must be bally stopped, eh?


Everyone nods.


Mayor McFlapp: Since Judge Xavier-


All: JUDGE XAVIER, MAY HE REST IN PEACE.


Mayor McFlapp: Since the Honorable Judge Xa-


All: JUDGE XAVIER, MAY HE REST IN PEACE.


Mayor McFlapp: Would ya stop with tha bloomin' memorial, wot?! Now, as I was bally saying, we've finally got a plan to stop that darn Mabel and all of her bally regime in one move, wot.


Mayor McFlapp takes out a remote control and pecks the button. The massive doors creak open, and a missile is pulled out.


Mayor McFlapp: Say hello to Greased Lightning, the greatest bally delete missile in the history of bally delete missiles, wot wot, courtesy of my wonderful cousin, Farquin Farflight Windsorrel, and his friends at the, if I may say, clandestine Abbey of Redlink! (points to group of waving, silver-robed nerds in the back) You shoot it, and boom! No more bloomin' Mabel! No COC violation, wot, it just teleports her and her bally gaurds into a bally containment unit in a place you will never figure out... and it has a bloomin' explosion on non-livin' things with MEGATONS OF TNT!


Explorer: Now that's what I'm talking about!




Everyone marvels at the missile. The music begins.

The Melody from Greased Lightning / Grease Lightning.

thumb|75px|right|The Melody from Greased Lightning / Grease Lightning.


(NEEDS MORE CHOREOGRAPHY, ANYONE MAY ADD IT)


Fred: (observing) This missile's automatic...
Farquin: 'Twas built in my attic.
Explorer: ...it's aaaaaarrrooooomatic... (Mayor McFlapp and Farquin in background, together: Smells like vanilla, wot!)


All: IT'S GREASED LIGHTNING!


Herb jumps on top of the missile and starts pointing at everyone as if giving them a cue.


Midas: It took an oversized engine and a morning's work, oh yes.


Speeddasher: Keep talking, oh keep talking!


Midas: With heat seeking computers, chrome and iron oh yes!


Speeddasher: How did you get the permit, how did you get that permit?


Nerd from Redlink: Built ten thousand miles offshore, a long range hit or more, it shall make ol' Mabel quit take her regime with it! Greased Lightning!


All: Go go go go go go!


Kwiksilver: Go Greased Lightning with megatons of TNT,


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!


Kwiksilver: Yes, Greased Lightning shall PWN Mabel certainly!


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!


Explorer: IT IS SUPREME!


Professor Shroomsky: Goodbye regime! Oh Greased Lightning!


All: Go go go go go go go!


Farquin, backed up by Redlink Nerds: We'll install the launcher in Lichenblossom Isles, oh yeah...


Midas: We'll aim it at her castle and boom she'll be gone, oh yes!


Explorer: So by using this in shock we'll throw Mabel off her rock, and after she stops naggin', to a broom closet we'll be draggin'! Greased Lightning!


All: Go go go go go go go!


Mayor McFlapp: Go Greased Lightning with terabytes of binary code!


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!


Farquin: Go Greased Lightning, PWN Mabel with deletion node!


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!


Explorer: IT IS SUPREME!


Professor Shroomsky: Goodbye regime! Oh Greased Lightning!


All: Go go go go go go go!


Mayor McFlapp and Cousin Farquin play an instrumental on electric guitars. The nerds from Redlink start breakdancing in a most un-nerdy manner; one of them separates from the rest and accompanies the two arctic terns on drums.


Everyone starts clapping, while Shroomsky falls over attempting.



More instrumental. Write the cheoreography for me. I have writer's block.



Kwiksilver: Go Greased Lightning with megatons of TNT,


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!


Kwiksilver: Go Greased Lightning, shall PWN Mabel certainly!


All: Greased Lightning, go Greased Ligtning!


Explorer: IT IS SUPREME!


Professor Shroomsky: Goodbye regime!


Fred: Oh Greased Lightning...


All: Lightning lighting lightning lightning, liiiigggghhhhtttnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!


Herb: (monotone voice like his parody) Exactly.


The curtain closes.

NOTE[edit]

Each time I add a new part, go to Talk:Dystopian: the Musical! and tell me about it! I WON'T CONTINUE UNTIL I GET THREE COMEMNTS PER ACT! The same people can comment on the new act, even if they did on the previous. Get to telling me! I may need ideas! --TURTLESHROOM

I mean it. -- कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!!  :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! 00:57, 18 April 2009 (UTC)


  • I DEMAND INTERACTION!

Major Characters[edit]

Mabel


Scenario[edit]

A map of Dystopia and the surrounding states.
Shortly after the play was released, Mayor McFlapp wrote a "bally" book about the Dystopia Scenario itself. According to the book, Mabel took over the cities of South Pole City and Inland in the scenario, forcing the rest of Eastshield to surrender. This caused a great disruption in the rest of the continent. The Antarctic Peninsula's economy collapsed (Eastshield was its main trading sponsor), and it had to be ceded to Trans-Antarctica, which shortly after amalgated with Pengolia (hence the blurred border) in an effort to economically support the Khanz's attempts to regain Eastshield, renamed Dystopia. Ternville was bought by the Trans-Antarctic/Pengolian Amalgation to stop Mabel from taking it over. The Antarctic Express went bankrupt due to a lack of customers, and it closed down and had its route converted into an ice skating route. The government of the USA had to be reformatted into a Democracy, including a fully-functioning president and three capitals: Club Penguin, Sub-Antarctica, the legislative capital; GourdZoid, Trans-Antarctic/Pengolian Amalgation, the judicial capital, and Frostborough, Freezeland, the executive capital. Over the years, Dystopia shrunk due to small border skirmishes fought by the other states. The play's events occur at the end of Mabel's reign, circa 2013. The downfall of Dystopia was caused by two factors -- the launch of a massive KZT Triple X Deletion Missile (nicknamed Grease Lightning) that destroyed Mabel's palace, and a combined state attack led by the Trans-Antarctic/Pengolian Amalgation, the Happyface State, and Freezeland, which crushed Mabel's forces at the ruins of South Pole City and breached her borders. At the coast of Dystopia, Freezeland's navy stood by to catch the fleeing Dystopian militia and pick them off one by one. After Dystopia was felled, the USA reclaimed it and renamed it "The Freelands"... just to remind themselves.

The timeline where Mabel ruled Eastshield was actually in the very same timeline the Dictatorship of the Darks would take over. Both scenarios are dystopian, however, the Dictatorship of the Darks ruled longer than Mabel's reign.

Reception[edit]

I didn't expect the musical to be this popular

The play was an extreme hit in the USA and beyond, scoring 9.999999999999999999.... 9.9 with an overbar out of 10 stars in Booyah Reviews! Magazine. It profitted 1,300,000 Fish in two weeks, and by the next month had quadrupled that amount. Several reviews were made in Booyah Reviews! Magazine by various penguins around the continent. Here is what they had to say:


Dat was da bestest play I'd EVER been to! I think that it was so funny to see them all praising Mabel, that I had to go to the bathroom! I gyve this play a 10000000000000000 out of 1. BURP!
 
Fudd
Absouloutely Amazing! Zee animations are exiquite!!!
 
— Typical Jacko


I have to say, since when in the name of summations did I do backflips whilst singing about Mabel? Otherwise, great plot, great music, and ridiculous scenes. 9.9 with an overbar out of 10 stars.
 
Fred


You know, that song in Act I, Scene Two reminds me of something: I've never been not noticed in my entire life! There's papparazzi here, papparazzi there! There's papparazzi everywhe-- AAAAAAAH!!!!!! PAPARAZZI!!!!!! RUUUUUNN!!!!!!! *is trampled by stampede of Antics fans*
 


During Act I, Scene Three... I hate to admit this... but I WAS SINGING ALONG WITH THE MABEL SONG! DOES THAT MAKE ME A MABEL ACCOMPLACE?!
 


When I conquer you all, life would be like this... without the singing. For the record, though, anything that puts its characters in such agony is noteworthy to me. I am currently watching it on a satillite feed to my throne room.
 


OH YES! KEEP GLORIFYING MY SUPERIORITY! ...you know, this is the first time I've experienced true happiness... *sniff*... praising me... so beautiful...
 
Mabel


They should be glorifying me.
 
Link
Hmmm.... *preens feathers* I say, wot a jolly nice idea t' have me as the bally Narrator, wot wot?
 
I prefered the documentaries... though this sounds good to me.
 
The Antarctican Rating System needs to change it to at least 15A! It gave me nightmares for weeks...*shudder*
 
Quite good for a play about Mabel. Me and Blizzard didn't expect it to be good, but I like it. Except for the Fabulous Mabel part, eugh.
 
NO NO NO I DON'T LIKE IT! MY ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE IS TO PREVENT THIS FROM EVER SHOWING! I DON'T LIKE BILL! SAVE ME! I'M IN THE MMK!
 


I rate it a 10000000000000000000000000 out of a possible 10.
 
— Random Penguin
This show is really good. I'll give this 2 horses,3 hearts, one Ӝ, one peace sign, one crescent moon and a telephone.
 
Mabel, Mabel, Mabel. Can we EVER stop with the Mabel crisis?
 
Snow

See also[edit]