Earlray66

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Earlray66
Born June 6th, 1986
West Pengolia
Died January 17th, 2011
Owcatraz Penitiary's Death Deletion Chamber
Cause of death Execution by firing squad
Resting place CyberVoid
Residence South Pole City
Gender Male
Nationality Pengolian
Other names "Director's Puppet", "Scumbag of the Century"
Education Middle school level dropout
Alma mater N/A
Occupation Unemployed
Home town Unincorporated West Pengolian village
Height 3' 1''
Known for Assasination of Marvin Lardner Monarch II, first creature to be waterboarded by the Inquisition, first known penguin sentenced to death in living memory
Title Owcatraz Prisoner #586-895
Parents Disowned
Signature


Earlray66 is the Khanz Penguin that killed the hero of millions, Marvin Lardner Monarch II. He is known most for his crime, but in the judicial sense, he was the known first penguin to be put to death deletion for his crime by the legit process of the nation of the United States of Antarctica.

He was sentanced to over nine thousand life sentances and death by firing squad. He was executed at Owcatraz on January 17th, 2011, and then there was much rejoicing.

His last words before his arrest was "THIS WAS FOR YOU, DIRECTOR!".


Background[edit]

Earlray66 was a troublemaker from the start. Hatched in a poor West Pengolian village, he resorted to crime to feed his family. He dropped out of the sixth grade. (Colonial Antarctica, except for the Integrated School Law and building schools, maintained education as a colonies' right and allowed them to do most whatever they pleased, except write the curriculem and have seperate buildings for grade levels.)

Earlray ran away from home when he was nine and lived a rough life. From there, he did nothing notable except do a bunch of crimes, and then, of course, he killed Marvin Lardner Monarch II.


Criminal record, pre-assasination[edit]

  • He was convicted of his first crime, petty burglary, in 1995, at the age of nine. He was let off with a warning.
  • He was convicted of unlawfully going to the bathroom on the streets a month later. This time, it was a week in a Pengolian jail.
  • Vandalism was next, twelve hours right after he was released. Another week.
  • Then came the whole lese majeste thing. He wore a shirt depicting Penghis Khan as (more than usual) an idiot, and that was a month.
  • He busted a bust of Penghis Khan six months later. Two weeks on high vandalism. Lese majeste charges were not pressed.
  • Assault of a federal judge was next. He beat up one from an Appealate Circuit who was on vacation to Pengolia, because "he was dressed badly". Two years of jail followed, but he pretended to be nice and got off a year early.
  • Grand theft was next. Let's say that television cost a fortune and leave it at that. Two months.
  • Arson of foilage ensued. He was caught by a park ranger trying to burn a bunch of trees "for the Lulz". Five months, no parole.
    • Bonus: assault of a park ranger and resisting of arres doubled that to ten months.
  • When he was released, he decided to seek shelter in the nearest village. Unfortunately, that was Yoenah, and when he tried to steal a stack of rare comics, their mayor called in the big guns. Federal authorities (namely the AIA) nailed him for the strange clause defining "any comic book stolen from a town with a population under one hundred" as a felony and as grand theft, and so he vanished into federal prison for the next seven years, without parole.
    • Despite serving his time and was supposed to be released in 2003, he was actually released in 2008. The AIA held him much longer for questioning and as a national security threat, because the last person to commit what they nicknamed "Grand Theft Rural Comics" invoked the King of Sorrow! They feared he was tied to it.


After release, he was crime free until the Marvin assasination. He became a Member in this time. As a convicted felon, he shouldn't have had a gun.


The assasination[edit]

On January 1st, 2011, Marvin Laredner Monarch II travelled to South Pole City to give an update on his campaign for "rolling back the apartheid", as he called it.

He decided to stay at the motel of one of his friends, a ridicously spastic EBUL-hater named Malcom Zee. Unlike his gentle magebishop counterpart, the hyperactive, always-screaming Malcom advocated violent upheavel and rebellion against EBUL and advocated a totally destruction of Membership. Marvin Laredner Monarch II befriended Zee because "inside, there's a great leader", and in order to "help him become a sane campaigner for the Calling". (Malcom was acutally perma-banned from Club Penguin and spent a month on Ban Island.)

Flocks of penguins gathered and cheered for him, even at the hole in the wall that Malcom ran, so he stepped out onto the second-story balcony to bid them greetings, urge them to do good, and wish them a "glorious and nonviolent" day, one of his trademark phrases.

As he smiled to his fans, a nut named Earlray66 jumped out from two rooms down on the balcony hall and brandished a Deletion Rifle against the megabishop.

Shouting "THIS IS FOR YOU, DIRECTOR!", he fired his gun and deleted Marvin Laredner Monarch II on national television. It was so fast that the censors couldn't take it off the screen. Millions were scarred by it, and a riot occured immediately. The penguins attacked Malcom's motel and climbed up the walls to get after Earlray66. Others broke windows and attacked items as guests fled. Earlray66 escaped and Malcom's hotel was then burnt to the ground in the midst of the choas. Malcom blamed EBUL, but EBUL did not organize Earlray's attack.

He immediately fled into the forests.


Escape, the Inquisition, and Waterboarding[edit]

The EPF pushed Herbert to second on their Most Wanted List as they all charged after Earlray66. They teamed up with the likes of the Inquisition and other groups, legal and illegal, to track down the villain that deleted a national hero.

Earlray fled South Pole City and found himself lost in the great forests to the east of it. All of the groups kept persuing, and it was eventually Tammyshroom, leading a squad of three Inquisition members and an EPF agent, that found Earlray.

The Inquisition took Earlray66, telling everyone that "he had got away for the time being", and began to torture him. The Inquisitor himself, a Non-Member and mild fan of the megabishop, presided over the "trial".

The assassin was put on a rack and made to confess his crime, but he refused at first. (In fact, it actually helped pop his back and it made the evil penguin feel better.)
Seeing that they were getting nowhere, Earlray66 was submitted to what the Inquisition called "The Big One": Waterboarding. Authorizable only by the Grand Inquisitor's boss (that is, TurtleShroom (penguin)), this is the act of tying a victim to a plank and dunking him in it again and again until he talks. In humans, the BOF notes, it causes water to go up their cartilage noses and makes them cough and sputter. It does the same with noseless penguins.



Ensuing TS controversy[edit]

According to Inquisition memos, TurtleShroom himself waterboarded Earlray66, sparking yet another controversy against the powerful figure. Creatures now wonder if he is always as nice as he seems.

Two sides seem to have formed in this situation. One side believes that TurtleShroom, while pure, is nonetheless cold, distant, and unmerciful when it comes to things he hates, like crime. The other believes that being extremely tough on crime does not make TurtleShroom a bad penguin.


Consider this, they argue:
  • TurtleShroom not only admits that he waterboarded Earlray, he says he'd do it again and regrest nothing.
  • TurtleShroom is an active user of corporal punishment. He only feels bad about physically hitting insubordinators if they're later proven innocent.
  • Ever since the Ben incident, TurtleShroom will withhold his use of mercy for creatures that commit certain crimes that he, in his own words, "enjoys" seeing punishment inflicted on them.
  • Even if they do deserve punishment, ism't waterboarding going a little overboard?
The other faction disagrees.
  • There are some types of criminals don't deserve mercy. Earlray66 deleted a hero and needed to face the consequences for it.
  • Waterboarding is a very effective means of torture and extracts information that brings villains to justice.
  • TurtleShroom is honest enough to openly admit he did it. That's purity, even if the act was bad. He admitted it and took responsibility for whatever would happen next because of what he did.
  • TurtleShroom was never prosecuted for waterboarding. What he did, therefore, must have been legal.



Recapture and death[edit]

The Inquisition made Earlray66 confess everything. They released him and dropped him off the side of the road next to the Supreme Court of East Antarctica. He ran in and fessed up.

Earlray66 was quickly tried and sentanced to death deletion by the Firing Squad, as well as over nine thousand life sentances, for "deleting a public figure". Blindfolded and told to face backwards, a small group of soldiers took aim at him with Deletion Rifles.

On January 17th, 2011, the assasin received a taste of his own medicine, and it was all over.


Conspiracy[edit]

Earlray66 was an uneducated and deranged bird. Why he did it was unknown, and if he acted alone was also unknown. In fact, there are allegations that he was assisted. Tin-foil donning goons have delved deep into the events and have begun to wonder if it all stacks up.

Alleged hiring[edit]

No penguin as stupid as Earlray66 could have premediated an entire assasination, known the date of Marvin's check in, bought a gun (especially as a convicted felon), gotten the right hotel room, and receieved the entire plan as it happened executing it perfectly.

He couldn't pass the seventh grade, and they think he did this alone?

There's obviously more involved, and many creatures that could have wanted Marvin Lardner Monarch II dead. From something as obvious to Director Benny or EBUL to as insane as the Governance or USECP, all have fallen into the crosshairs of Internet kids without a life.

EBUL, the Governance, USECP, and yes, TurtleShroom, have all been cleared with both alibis and lack of motives, so they did not hire him to do it, but the conspirists' accusations are weird enough to be worthy of writing down.

"This is for you, Director!" (the "smoking gun")[edit]

Trivia[edit]

  • Intentionally insulting parody of James Earl Ray, the scumbag that killed poor Martin Luther King Junior.

See also[edit]