|The Creatures' Socialist Republic of Better Off United Khanz Penguins of Eastern Pengolia
Pengolia Восток, где мы выступаем за ВАМИ!
|Motto: Мы делаем собственные возраста лучше для ВAC!
Translation: We are doing better than their own age for YOU!
Все, что мы делаем, мы делаем для Вас, собратьев работники!!
Translation: All that we do, we do for you, fellow workers!!"
|Anthem: We're Not Gonna Take It
(and largest city)
|Official languages||Пингвин монгольский каракули (Penguin Mongolian Scrawl)|
|Recognised regional languages||English|
|Government||Socialistic semi-capitalist Rule by Workers' council system, as guided by the single political party|
|-||Ваш собственный возраст мастер
Your OWNAGE Master
|-||Пенгуин говорю, о рабочие хотят.
Penguin talking about the workers want.
|Split from Pengolia||Obtained sovereignty after having equally matched PWNage with Penghis Khan|
|-||Independence||May 1st, 2009|
|-||Recognization by MAI||May 7th, 2009|
|-||Recognition by USA (excluding W. Pengolia)||June 9th, 2010|
|Drives on the||Center (one way roads)|
|Footnotes||Favorite West Pengolian Joke: In West Pengolia, you get slapped with fish. In East Pengolia, fish slap YOU!|
|Footnotes||Parody of several things, such as USSR, East Germany, Russian Reversal, The Cold War, The Iron Curtain, and oh so much more.|
East Pengolia is a communist nation that seceded from West Pengolia on May 1st, 2009. Unlike their counterpart, East Pengolia is more democratic in nature, though they still have a wacky autocrat and a famous advisor. Workers run the place around here, so if you are rich, GET OUT! The workers will think you are there to
hire enslave them and you will get whacked with FISH! (Correction: Fish will whack YOU!)
Our story begins on May 30th, at a large banquet in which every Khanz Penguin within thirty miles of Penghis Khan's palace. About 100000 Khanz were there. Everyone from the richest creature to the infamous shoe thrower known as Bambadoo. We see Penghis Khan at the head of the table, as custom dictates. On the other side of the 50-yard table were the poorer penguins. Bambadoo and his friend with the laptop were talking amongst other penguins, particularly a strange one with a long mustache, a black cloak, and the Jack's Lantern dialect (the Jacko accent).
He was Bolsheevic Penguinsky, a member of The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan and proud of it. Bambadoo immediantly struck up a conversation with him. The following transcript was recorded by a Penghis Khan fan who happened to be sitting nearby. It was declassified at 1:53 PM Penguin Standard time.
Bambadoo: Huh... I haven't seen you around here before.
Penguinsky: I lurk everyvhere, watching 'zee workers get yelled at by Penghis Vhan. I VATE IT! Can't you see he's an abusive tyrant?
Bambadoo: I threw a shoe at him.
Penguinsky perks up.
Penguinsky: ...vou did? Such courage!
Bambadoo: You hate his speech too?
Penguinsky: I vate his velling 'zee most.
Bambadoo: You know what? We need to DO SOMETHING about it. We can't just sit here and be oppressed by someone one third our size!
Penguinsky: You're right, vut how?
Bambadoo: We out yell him.
Penguinsky: Leave vit to me.
Penguinsky stands up.
Penguinsky: VOUR MOMMA'S SO ANNOYING, SHE CAN'T SHUT VUP IF TAPE WAS VRAPPED AROUND HER BEAK!
Penghis Khan: PENGHIS KHAN THINKS YOU'RE FAT!
Penguinsky: I'VE SEEN BETTER PWNAGE IN ZEE RULING VLASS!
Everyone is silent and confused.
Penguinsky: VOU ARE SHORT!
Crowd: O_O (no one ever calls Penghis Khan that)
Penghis Khan: THAT'S IT, UGLY! FACE PENGHIS KHAN'S FISH!!
Penghis Khan jumps on the table.
Penguinsky: I don't fear your vish.
Penguinsky: You are a tiny autovrat who does nothing but vell at zee innocent vorkers.
Penghis Khan twitches.
Penguinsky: While we work all day and slap people with our vish, you hold those dumb jewels and yell at us.
Penghis Khan continues twitching.
Penguinsky: You have no vright to run zee country. We, zee penguins of Pengolia, should run zee country.
Everyone but Penguinsky: O_O O_O O_O
Bambadoo raises his flipper.
Bambadoo: I agree.
Everyone turns and stares.
Random Penguin: ZOMG IT'S THE SHOE THROWER!
Penguinsky: Zee shoe thrower of JUSTICE!
Other random penguins: Yeah!
Other crowd members stand up and agree. They start chanting "COUP COUP COUP"!
Penguinsky: VOU HERE THAT, PENGHIS?! THAT'S 'ZEE SOUND OF THE UNITED OPRESSED PENGUINS! "TOGETHER, VE ARE NOTHING, BUT WHEN UNITED, WE CAN BE A REAL BIG PAIN IN ZEE FANNY!"
Everyone starts chasing Penghis Khan!
Several penguins start singing "We're Not Gonna Take It".
Penghis Khan quickly ran out of his palace. Waddling as fast as his tiny self could carry, he summons some servants and hops in a Limosine. The angry mob continues to chase him and sing. Penghis Khan croses the border into Eastshield. The mob persues, and starts to throw hammers.
Explorer happened to be walking down the road.
Penghis Khan ran up to him and starting screaming.
"PROPELLOR BIRD! PENGHIS KHAN IS BEING CHASED BY THOUSANDS OF CRAZY SUBJECTS WHO ARE THROWING HAMMERS AT HIM!"
Explorer smiles and giggles to himself, but quickly fakes a look of concern.
"Aww, that's a shame. What can I do to help?"
"USE YOUR FIFTH WINDOW POWERS, PENGHIS KHAN COMMANDS IT!"
"It's Fourth Wall, your PWNsomeness, and why should I? I kind of like their little song... We're not gonna take it... hmm, catchy. Sounds like a parody of... OH WAFFLES! I should have seen this coming! I should have read the script! MAYOR MCFLAPP, YOU ALLOWED A COMMUNIST REVOLUTION?!"
"Penghis Khan doesn't see the bird with the hat."
"Penghis Khan, listen. That mob wants to lock you in a broom closet and steal your fish. Waddle, waddle as fast as possible!"
Penghis Khan took off running, while Explorer looked on. As he disappeared out of sight, Explorer looked up to the clouds and laughed.
"A communistic revolt? That's new Mayor! Good one!"
"This is Penguin TV News bringing you a news report from Pengolia where commmunists in the east of the state have taken over and are currently throwing 'a party for vee vorkers vwho helped vus defeat Penghis Vhan'" the female newsreader said. "Here to cover the report is Matt Dawson. Matt?"
"Why are you doing this?" Dawson asked.
"Vi vorked in a show factory. Vi loved vit there. Vuntil Penghis Vhan came and shouted at ve. Vi went to Penghis Vhan's feast for some reason vi do not know. And vhere vi met Bambadoo the shoe thrower. Vi talked to vim. Ve said how he threw the shoe. And together ve chased Penghis Vhan out."
"So hows your communist -"
"Communist?!? Ve are not communist. Ve are socialist."
"Ok. Well we've ran out of time. Sorry. Bye."
TO BE CONTINUED!
Despite being quite socialist in nature (workers run the place), EP still uses money and capitalism.
East Pengolia runs on a currency called the "Soviet", abbreviated Ƨ. It takes 10,000 Soviets to make one Khanz, and 100,000 Soviets to make one Pebble.
East Pengolia is attempting to become industrilized, so Bolsheevic ordered a town to be built in the new nation. He called it Fishwow, and it now has 100,000 penguins, and is rapidly growing.
There is also the coastal city of St. Joeyaasburg that was built during the split.
The geography of East Pengolia is identical to West Pengolia since they were once the same place. East Pengolia is way windier than its counterpart, with gusts up to 60 MPH and sustained winds of 35 MPH. West Pengolia has lots of oil, however.
 Flag, Motto, and Anthem
The flag of East Pengolia is mostly red, symbolizing the color of the vegetable soup served at Penghis Khan's banquet, and the revolt that happened that day.
The yellow thing in the corner is called a Sickle, which really has no purpose other than the fact that Bolsheevic carries one everywhere he goes (and that it doubles as a nifty fork).
The fish, obviously, represents fish slapping and PWNage, and the fish is eating the sickle like a fishing hook, which, according to classified sources, represent Bolsheevic's control over PWNage (don't tell Bugzy).
The country has two different official mottoes.
1. Мы делаем собственные возраста лучше для ВAC! (We are doing better than their ownage for YOU!)
This motto was devised because Bolsheevic believes that everything should be done for the good of the penguins, and for the greater benefit of PWNage.
2. Все, что мы делаем, мы делаем для Вас, собратьев работники!! (All that we do, we do for you, fellow workers!!)
This motto agains states how everything the government does is for the penguins.
 Motto Pun Controversy
Recently, penguins have begun to mock the first motto, since the fact that "you" is at the end of the sentence and is in all caps. They created rather hilarious and insulting puns using the "YOU" idea. The joke came to symbolize how EP is on the opposite side of Pengolia, and has two crazy rulers with opposite ideas.
This idea is credited to Bugzy, and his motto is actually a use of the controversial joke in question.
- In W. Pengolia, you get slapped by fish. In E. Pengolia, fish slap YOU!
- Stand for Bugzy, for in E. Pengolia, Bugzy stands for YOU!
- In the USA, the flag represents you. In E. Pengolia, YOU represent the FLAG!
- This one was weird.
- In Club Penguin, you fly Jet Packs. In E. Pengolia, Jet Packs fly YOU!
- In the USA, you eat pie. In E. Pengolia, pie eats YOU!
- Don't like Mabel, for if you do, in E. Pengolia, Mabel will like YOU!
- O_O O_O O_O
- In the McFlappingham family, you have a bally accent. In E. Pengolia, the bally accent has YOU, WOT!
- In MAI, you can kiss anyone. In E. Pengolia, anyone can kiss YOU!
- In the UPR, you love Democracy! In E.Pengolia, Democracy loves YOU!
- In 12yz12ab Island,you like 12yz12ab. In East Pengolia, 12yz12ab likes YOU!
- In South Pole City, you eat fattening foods. In East Pengolia, fattening foods eat YOU!
- In a train station, you wait for the train. In East Pengolia, the train waits for YOU!
- In Dorkugal, you bully nerds. In East Pengolia, nerds bully YOU!
- Director Benny controls you, for in East Pengolia, YOU control Director Benny!
- To become a member of the Bureau of Fiction, you need to know how to break the Fourth Wall. In East Pengolia, the fourth wall need to know how to break YOU!
- In association football, you score the goal. In East Pengolia, the goal scores YOU!
- If you sing a song, for In East Pengolia, the song sings YOU!
- Everyone plays games. In East Pengolia, games play YOU!
- You adopt a puffle. In East Pengolia, puffle adopt YOU!
- You hear music. In East Pengolia, music hear YOU!
You know you want to add on here... for in East Pengolia, the list adds to YOU!
The Anthem of East Pengolia is We're Not Gonna Take It, which was the same song the riot that chased Penghis Khan sang.
The Government of East Pengolia consists of a leader called "Your OWNAGE Master" (Ваш собственный возраст мастер) who pretty much runs the country. Penguinsky currently holds the position.
The other head of state is called "The Penguin Talking about the Worker's Want" (Пенгуин говорю, о рабочие хотят), who recieves hundreds of e-mails daily from E. Pengolian citizens and their needs, wants, and such. Bambadoo holds this position, and he says he loves it.
 Relationships with Other Nations
- United Penguin's Republic. Not well liked for it's democratic belief. However, it's slowly becoming a Democratic-Socialist nation, improving relations.
- West Pengolia. Very poor. Stocking up weapons to destroy them.
- New North Etana. Even worse than above. In war with it.
- Freezeland. Very good. Any enemy of Penghis Khan and the "Noob Face" viewpoint is automatically a friend of Triskelle.
- United States of Antarctica. Due to the motto pun controversy stated above, the USA thinks East Pengolia is a complete joke and East Pengolia thinks the USA is a cruel example of capitalism gone wrong. Make note that EP is still technically capatilist anyway (they have money).
- MAI. They are starting to like this country as it officially recognizes the state as "indepedendent". Simple form? MAI says "this nation exists and is NOT a rip-off. West Pengolia also has trade with the MAI.
- Turtle Atoll. Though not a true nation, Melvin Turtleheimer had this to say:
I think it's kind of neat. I've ner seen Khanz Penguins so united. It's actually a nice change instead of the unstable hatred they had on Penghis Khan.
- Ed Island
- However, most everyone loves their anthem.
- The Khanz Penguins themselves.
They use a new, highly-mordernized train system whith lots of PENGHIS KHAN SUCKS ON LEMONS signs painted all over. Boats rush in and rush out the country's coastline to provide necessities. The national airline is Aeroflore, which took away half of Air Pengolia's fleet.
 See Also
|Darktonian Realm, Trans-Antarctica||Eastshield||Eastshield|