Ernie

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Ernie Vern Asduasnicklefique
250px
Classic "generic penguin-style" impression of Ernie.
Profile
Title Dictator of the Supercontinent of the World, Lord Ernie his Majestic Ruler
Gender Male
Race Dark Penguin.
Faction Darker shade than other Dark Penguins.
Health Unknown
Level 25 years old.
Status Probably alive, in hiding.
Location Wasteland miles from the mainland.
Occupation "Dictator"
Friends Cult of Weirdology
Enemies see below.
Archetype Evil, third-party centralist socialist.

Ernie Vern Asduasnicklefique (pronnounced as-dwaz-nickel-fique), also known as Ernie V. A.N.F., or simply Ernie, (1985-) is the creator of the Cult of Weirdology and often sighted as the leader of the "Third Party Villains", which is a group separated from Darktan and Nightmare's armies. He is bent on world domination and literally mocks his counterparts, the STINC, Flywish and Penghis Khan. Born in Sherby Hoodwounds, he currently resides in an unknown area, probably operating from THE SKIP.

Ernie is also a kleptomaniac, which explains why he organises robberies for no apparent reason. He also has an evil brother, Bert, who is technically his arch enemy.

Birth and Childhood[edit]

No one really knows when Ernie was born, but there were rumors of him being the children of insane impressionists Skannas and Verique, whose last name is similar to that of Ernie's. He has never commented this, the only time being a response to a question asked by the press in a disclosed location. It was, however, confirmed that Ernie was born in Sherby Hoodwounds sometime in February or March of 1985.

Not much is known about Ernie's low-profile background, especially his childhood. The only confirmed facts are that he attended elementary and middle school, but never went on to high school. There were no reports of him having any distinctive characteristics, say, declaring himself leader of the world, protesting etc. during that time.

Although it was a leaked story regarding Ernie's father being the sky programmer, this has not been confirmed by Ernie or Mr. Unknown. Only the Cult testifies to this date - Ernie refuses to speak to "lowly figures".

Entrance into Underworld[edit]

At the age of sixteen, a student by the name of Emerson Rotarazue, the word Rotarazue an English family affiliated with the Asduanickelfique family, appealed to the Penguin University. He managed to enter and took a course in Politics. Gaining interest in the subject, he drew up an ideology that would later be the foundation of the Cult of Weirdology.

At eighteen, he entered the underworld as a minor villain. He strived to be independent, refusing to join any cults or gangs. He had an autocratic mindset, preventing himself from the "depths of humiliation", quote. At the age of seventeen, he met Mr. Unknown, a converse human who would later become his trusted advisor and in-house nemesis.

At nineteen, he established the World Domination Alliance, a short-lived group of seventy-seven who tried to gain recognition from other cults, hoping to one day reign as "supreme gang". His days were numbered from day one; two weeks after founding the group, the WDA was attacked by several armies in snowball fights. Soon after, other gangs sent them official letters refusing to recognize them, explicitly emphasizing on their 'newbie' status. Ernie, outraged, eventually sought revenge from other armies.

Establishment of Recognition[edit]

In 2005, when CP was established, Ernie launched an attack on the STINC headquarters somewhere in the Trans-Antarctic mountains. An army of approximately seven hundred swarmed in and raided the area. Several days later, Ernie sent a letter demanding twenty million pebbles or a "full-fledged attack on the entire STINC army". The STINC leader at the time, refused. A year later, half of the army mysteriously disappeared.


World Domination (current)[edit]

Ideologies[edit]

A reminder: Ernie was not involved in the Hallowed Sect, only in writing several rules to "cheat them of money" and "earn profits for world domination".

Ernie believes in centralist Ernie socialist authoritarianism, which mainly focuses on the leader himself, Ernie. The ideology itself contains many aspects, most of which are totaliaerian.

PURPOSE IN LIFE - ALL HAIL ERNIE[edit]

Ernie expects total respect for him, expecting every citizen to salute to Ernie if his name or his picture is mentioned. All citizens are expected to bow and exclaim "LONG LIVE OUR WONDERFUL LEDAER ERNIE", the minimum requirement being half a decibel of sound, to "express support for Ernie". Those who are unable to achieve this requirement are brutally executed by Ernie's officials. If Ernie appears on-site, citizens within sight of him must literally hail Ernie for five minutes.

Ernie emphasizes that "everything revolves around nothing", claiming that "the compromise of the world is that one revolves around itself - that is, he/she is only has, know, understands and is purposed or meant for itself and what it affects are not related to him, but instead how it affects revolve around itself - therefore, everything is to every self, so technically when together, everything revolves around itself, which is the compromise of nothing at all".

He questions the purpose of life - as to what exactly it is. He says that technically the only true purpose of every living being is to continue its existence, therefore, understanding this fact, there is no absolute care about life." But honestly speaking, this isn't the true purpose. The true purpose is to live life to the fullest extent. Either way, Ernie still cares about himself, and truly believes that the world revolves around himself only.

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY[edit]

In Ernie's vision of the world, he believes that hard work is the only true definition of freedom. He created the popular Freedom Equation, in which the amount of freedom has to be divided by the number of registered citizens in Antarctica minus powerful figures. He uses this because, quote:

If there are more penguins, that means they need necessities. And thus we have to share our necessities with them. Eventually, because of capitalist economy, one would have MORE money than the other. Using the Freedom Equation, we could allow all necessities to be shared equally - the less the citizens, the greater the division. It is the logic of centralist Ernie socialism - quality over quantity.

In Ernie's vision, he states that there will be absolutely no powerful figures OTHER than his own cabinet, and whoever tries to do so will be "severely" punished. Rumors state that they will be held in a dark room where the worst thing in the world resides should this be implemented. A model of the room is located in the National Museum of Politics and Ideologies.

ALL-MONOPOLY[edit]

Ernie prefers to have one company in each industry rather than a bunch - so penguins would not have a choice and money does not have to be shared. For example, there would be only ONE restaurant body, ONE airline, ONE bookstore etc. Ernie states that this is to allow "full control of the industry - that there would not be variety and there would not be inflation or saturation." This ideology is strangely agreed by several enemies of Ernie.

Allies[edit]

Victims[edit]

  • Flywish (Flywish, like always is planning to destroy him)
  • PSA

Trivia[edit]

  • He supports the freedom of Str00del Foods
  • He has no relations with Darktan. In fact, he never really cared about him conquering, nor Luce saving the world. Both seemed to him as nonsense, and decided to conquer USA himself.
  • He is wanted by Flywish.

See also[edit]