Evil Lake

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Evil Lake
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Shores of Evil Lake
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A map of Evil Lake, including Jerk and Ford strongholds.
Key details
Type Lake
Level BAM! Reality hits you hard, bro.
Location In Phi Island
Inhabitants Jerks, Fords


Evil Lake is a lake located in within Phi Island of Dorkugal where most Fords and Jerks resides. Most Dorkugese call it Fibonacci Lake, but only the Antic Brothers now exactly why. The Jerks mostly reside in Floor Thirteen, a cave with a van that is the headquarters, while the Fords are scattered over various islands and shores. Since 2008, the Dorkugese government has banned any form of travel to Evil Lake, after a series of kidnappings took place in the area. Phi Island itself is uninhabited.

History[edit]

The lake was simply a lake since the founding and shaping of the island. It was once connected to the ocean but artificial barriers and bridges had prevented it so.

Later on, Jerks and Fords started populating the shorelines and islands within the lake. The Jerks mostly hid in a cave, bringing along a rusty old van that would be known as Floor Thirteen. The Fords were more adventurous and sailed to islands within the lake. Most of these penguins relied on the fruit native to Evil Lake, the Pyloricus Sunctuareus, which looks like a long cucumber but tastes disgustingly horrible.

Eventually, the two evil races grew tired of being in captivity, so they started kidnapping penguins who passed along the route. Noua Auza, husband of the writer of Why would 1994 be my worst year?, was photographed riding a boat through the lake. It was relatively low-key, though, and he was rescued by the Dorkugese Secret Agency shortly after.

However, accidents started to receive attention from the media. Bosti, an explorer, travelled through the lake in early 2007, only to fail to meet his expected returned date in August. Sir John Iron and Sir Boogy BonBon, along with six others, were travelling into Dorkugal via Evil Lake, and were unaware of the circumstances surrounding it, not ending up at their destination.

The Dorkugese government were still unconvinced, and only until the Boat Incident, in which twenty passengers were held hostage while sailing through the lake. Evil Lake was eventually closed off to the public as the Dorkugese Secret Agency proceeded to rescue them.

Habitat[edit]

Kidnappings[edit]

Noua and Laua Auza, late 2006[edit]

Photographer Lee Jenson was roaming through the forests of Phi Island at the time, searching for interesting wildlife to photograph. He reportedly came across Noua Auza rowing a boat through Evil Lake, although he saw it at a distance. Originally, he did not think much of it, until several weeks later when he found the two were not present in their Dorkugese home. He contacted the police, who in turn, contacted the Dorkugese Secret Agency. Keeping the incident in secrecy, the DSA proceeded to rescue Noua and Laua Auza, but eventually, the couple returned together without the help of the DSA.

Laua Auza eventually wrote a book about it, publishing it the year after, coincidentally coinciding with another kidnapping.

Bosti, early 2007[edit]

Main article: Bosti's Disappearance

Adventurer Bosti Jenkins went out on a journey in Evil Lake to discover new islands that were not detected by satellites. Originally supposed to return sometime in August, he failed to reach the deadline and concerned the Dorkugese population. Media outlets began carrying the story, and on September the 15th, the Dorkugese Secret Agency issued a search warrant for Bosti Jenkins. Bosti was eventually found in Floor Thirteen three years after he set off on his journey, and two and a half since the search started. Since then, Bosti became a writer.

John Iron & Boogy BonBon, early 2008[edit]

Explorers Sir John Iron and Boogy BonBon, alongside six others, travelled to the depths of the lake in search of scientific activity. The Jerks reportedly sensed their presence and hijacked them. Luckily, Sir John Iron escaped days later along with the six other passengers, but Boogy BonBon remained in captivity. The Jerks also issued a public statement for the first time, claiming Boogy BonBon was indeed in their captivity. Boogy BonBon was eventually freed in mid-2011, three years after his disappearance.

Nichola's Boat, late 2008[edit]

Main article: Nichola's Boat

Boyous Nichola's Nichola's Boat operates as a ferry service between Trans-Antarctica to Auzua Mostafique via Evil Lake, as it was still considered legal and safe to do so. On the 12th of November, 2008, Boyous Nicholas, a crew member, and eighteen other passengers were captured by the Jerks and Fords. They all managed to escape due to poor survellience by Fords, although the DSS never saved them nor charged the Fords. From then on, the entire Lake was closed to any registered citizen of the entire continent of Antarctica.

Other incidents[edit]

Following the lockdown, though, several penguins who managed to get through got themselves in deep trouble.

  • A boy and his mother were travelling through the lake on a boat when the boat was shot by a torpedo. They successfully swam to the land.
  • In November, a man and a junk boat was also travelling through the lake. He swam to the land and was believed to be Mr. Unknown.

Plans[edit]