Experiment Labs

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Experimental Laboratories Limited
Experiment Labs.png
The current logo, as adopted in 1980.
Name Experimental Laboratories Limited
Type Scientific Research and Development
Location Currently an underground bunker under East Pengolia, Antarctica
Head Chairman
Job Developing and researching any scientific endeavour, but only for money.
Members Elite scientists and researchers

Experimental Laboratories Limited, often called Experiment Labs, is one of the oldest scientific institutions in Antarctica. It was first established in 1914 by Khanzem edict to provide new types of scientific weaponry for Khanzem.


As times have changed, so have the allegiances of Experiment Labs. Compiled here is the full account of Experiment Labs through the ages.


The logo for Experiment Labs in the Khanzem era.

Experimental Laboratories Limited was first established in 1914 by Whoot Smackler Whoot to provide new types of weaponry for Khanzem's advancing armies. Whoot believed that the only way to beat the High Penguins' arsenal of magic would be to counter it with science. One subject that caught Whoot's attention was the idea of immortality. Experiment Lab's first project for Khanzem was Chimeras, an attempt to replicate Harold Aye-Que's creation Speeddasher. After many attempts, they finally created the Chimera known as Lizlord. This was regarded as a failure after Lizlord became aware of Khanzem's control and devoured the scientists. Lizlord was quickly captured and sealed in a stasis tube. Whoot then decided that instead of trying to create a lifeform, he would try and make his current men immortal. Samples of Speed's blood were taken (which was suprisingly almost pitch black) and were injected into Khanzem's strongest men. This was also deemed as a failure when all who were injected were found dead the next day. It would appear that their bodies wern't strong enough to control the blood. Nevertheless, Experiment Labs pressed on and developed more projects for Khanzem at Whoot's demand, including the Bottomless Coin Sack.

In 1919, when Khanzem was starting to fall to the Snowman Empire, the chairman of Experiment Labs at the time panicked. He knew that if the Snowmans destroyed Khanzem, they would also destroy its allies. The chairman went to Julius Scissor and asked to work for him to develop new weapons for the Snowman Empire. Julius was pleased, and Experiment Labs passed into the hands of Snowme.

Snowman Empire[edit]

During the short 20 year reign of the Snowmans Experiment Labs had a bit of downtime. The Snowmans were happy with the weapons they had, and Julius Scissor had not asked the Labs for help. Here was a dilemma. The new chairman (who was female) decided she would begin working on technological advances instead of weapons. Noticing the hygiene problems and disease in towns were, waste simply ran in the gutters down to a river, she and her scientists developed the first sewage system. They also developed running water facilities, taps, steam engines, and an early form of a computer that used steam and gears. The standard aircraft was also made safe for commercial travel.

However, when Experiment Labs desired to develop a range of gene enhancements that gave penguins super powers, some employes were opposed to the idea because there was a high risk of the test subject's death. This was when the motto of Experiment Labs, "Progress over Morality", was first implemented. Any worker who refused to work on the gene enhancements was fired, and the rest of the workforce kept their heads down and grudgingly worked on the project. No subject died in the gene experiments, but nearly all subjects suffered incredible pain until the day they died. This was extremely cruel, and due to the high failure rate the project was abandoned. However, some truly twisted scientists took the project with them when they created Taken. They managed to modify the gene enhancements so they did not cause constant pain, and the enhancements became Taken's Systopes.

When the Snowman Empire collapsed and Olde Antarctica was created, the Chairman had a problem. There were four separate kingdoms that worked in harmony with each other. Which side would they choose? After much thought, the Chairman decided to establish a base in the Ice Kingdom, but become an independent company.

Olde Antarctica[edit]

Now that they were an independent company, Experiment Labs had to a way to create funds. The little money they had been given from the Snowman Empire was spent on the failed gene enhancements, and they were stony broke. After the discovery of a vinyl record on what is now called the 90-150 Ice Shelf, Experiment Labs went right to work reverse-engineering it to create the first record player. The record player was sent out into the market bundled with a record of so-called "rock" music, which was despised by older penguins and loved by the youth. Soon, business was booming. The Rock genre had become incredibly popular, with bands starting up all over the continent. As the owner of the record player's patent, Experiment Labs had to be paid 10% of every record sold. They were soon raking in the cash. Every record played by the record player was always followed by the phrase, "Brought to you by Experiment Labs", leading to the inclusion of the phrase "Is it good or Experiment Labs good?" into popular culture.

In the 1940s, the leader of the fire kingdom was being pressured by miners to create a new, safer mining procedure. Many workers had been injured by tunnel collapses and faulty tools and the worker's unions were threatening to take the case to court. If they won, the leader would be overthrown. He hurriedly sent a telegram to Experiment Labs requesting help, and Experiment Labs rose to the task. They decided to create a chemical that could burn direct holes through solid rock and ice, yet leave mining resources untouched. They called this substance "Ditto".

In the first test of the chemical, it was only useful as an explosive, and seemed to paralyse anybody who touched it. This wasn't what Experiment Labs wanted, but it was stored away and named "Ditto A". The next version was similar, but was very shock-sensitive and would detonate if it's container dropped off a bench. It was preserved as "Ditto B". Finally, the scientists tried a third time and created a super-adhesive that also raised the IQ of several employees. The "acid" idea was abandoned and it was decided that this "Ditto C" would be used to reinforce tunnels and prevent cave-ins.

The Ditto formulas remained untouched and forgotten for a couple of years until Experiment Labs was broken into by a Leopard Seal crime ring. The criminals stole all Ditto samples and documents, leaving nothing behind. After this, higher security measures were implemented.

Coloured Hats Project[edit]

In the 1950s, a mysterious individual contacted Experiment Labs' chairman, and claimed that they were part of Olde Antarctica's intelligence division. They reported that an organisation would soon attempt to take over the continent. The chairman believed this due to rumours that were circulating around his hometown. The individual requested the creation of four super-soldiers that would lead each kingdom into battle, and could harness the powers of their respective kingdoms. The mysterious individual sent a large sum of money through the mail to start the company off.

The company's plan was simple: abduct unsuspecting citizens, erase their memories and plant a new identity. The four penguins were the dashing Mr Trilby (Air), the strong Mr Derby (Ice), the crafty Miss Beret (water) and the deadly Miss Fedora (Fire).

Mr Trilby[edit]

First, Experiment Labs bailed a well-known criminal out of jail. This crook's name was Alfred Sanderson. He dressed well, was notable for charming a number of ladies and running off with their money, and spoke with a refined accent. Experiment Labs promised Alfred that if he participated in their experiment, he could become a free man for the rest of his life. Alfred agreed.

The scientists sneaked an amnesia pill into Alfred's food the next morning, and his memory was instantly erased, however he retained his mannerism and personality. The chairman pretended to be an old friend and told Alfred his name was Mister Trilby, and he was an emerging superhero. Alfred, now "Mr Trilby", was secretly slipped gene enhancements into his food every night that enabled him to control wind and have the powers of flight and teleportation. Mr Trilby became convinced he was a superhero that had pledged to defend the Ice Kingdom, but now and then memories of his old life would flash through his brain and leave him momentarily confused.

Over time, Mister Trilby realised that his "caretakers" were not being entirely truthful about his identity. One night, he sneaked out to the laboratory offices and found the files on Alfred Sanderson. His memories flooded back, and with them anger at the scientists. He destroyed half the laboratory facilities in blind rage and escaped into the night. He took with him only a white suit and a white trilby hat.