Explorer's Ultimate Disaster Story/Chapter VI
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Part II:The Break-in
Chapter VI:The Duck with a Leek
As Explorer ran through the burning city, evading those evil cyborgs, he began to hear a strange quacking sound.
It came nearer and nearer, and soon he realized that it was right behind him.
He was known to be very skilled at hypnosis; but only when he was carrying his leek, but he only carried a shotgun.
"Leekduck? What are YOU doing here?" exclaimed Explorer, and Leekduck hesitated.
"Uhhhh...well...I...oh right, Bugzy's buisness!" stuttered Leekduck unconvincingly.
"Leekduck, I'm trapped in the future here. I'll pay you 10,000 coins if you can get me to a time traveling machine, allright?"
Leekduck's eyes lit up like gold, and he immidately agreed.
"You wanna time machine? There's one at Castle Bugzy, and I'll take you there. But ya'll have ta pay an extra 20,000 coins."
"What's that for?" asked Explorer curiously.
"Shipping insurance." replied Leekduck, and Explorer groaned and handed him over the cash.
"And for an extra 9,000 coins you can buy a genuine, 40 caliber pistol-"
"I DON'T WANT A PISTOL!" screamed Explorer in exasperation. "I ALREADY OWN ONE!"
"What caliber is it?"
"20." mumbled Explorer, and Leekduck laughed.
"Why, that is the durnest thing I've ever heard! 'Dis preimum weapon PWNs your chick's toy, and was used by Napoley Bonapart during The Conquest of the Sandcastle."
This seemed good enough a reason for Explorer, and he threw out his old gun for the new pistol.
"But wait, where's the ammo?" asked Explorer in surprise.
"Oh, that'll cost you another 100 coins."
20 minutes later, after being conned out of another 7000 coins, Explorer and Leekduck began to head towards the airport, in hope that they could find an aircraft and escape.
"Leekduck?" asked Explorer eagerly, and Leekduck slowly turned around.
"What the $*#% is going on here? It looks like a war zone in this city!"
"Well, I shouldn't spoil the future for you, shall I?" replied Leekduck, grinning smugly.
Explorer shrugged and they continued walking.
He began to notice that more of the eyes from before were following them, and in the distance he could see some in front of him.
As they passed through the demolished streets, Explorer looked up and saw aircraft battling in the sky.
He was not very good at identifying aircraft, but he recognized some of them as Waffliean fighters, albiet ones that in his time were only in the prototype stage.
"Here we are! The airport!" shouted Leekduck, and Explorer stopped.
The airport's hangars was partially demolished, and above it flew a Waffliean flag.
Apparently Snowzerland was being invaded, and Waffleland was quite far into enemy territory.
"Halt!" shouted a Waffliean guard, and the two stopped in their tracks.
"Identify yourselves before gaining access."
"I'm Explorer 767." mumbled Explorer, surprised that someone didn't recognize him.
"You work for Bugzy, you say? Well I guess we'll have to let you two in."
And with that, the guard slowly opened the creaking wire gate.
After they passed through, he shut it again, as it was the only entry point into the entire airport, and loosing this airport would be a major blow to the Wafflieans.
On the other side of the gate, Explorer was shocked to see a large amount of warplanes, tanks, and just about any other weapon one could find parked on the airport grounds.
The majority of the runways were filled with bomb craters, but miracously a single runway appeared entirely unscathed.
Leekduck spoke up.
"We'll take a Waffliean fighter, just to let you know. I'll be the pilot and you operate the rear turret."
"Do you even HAVE a pilot's liscense?" asked Explorer. Leekduck grinned.
"Nope, but this is an emergency, and besides the Waffliean military won't dare challenge me."
And with a surprising burst of speed, Leekduck grabbed Explorer's flipper and ran towards a rather different-looking Waffliean fighter.
They climbed into the cockpit, and Leekduck began to start up the plane.
Meanwhile, Explorer climbed into the rear turret, which was extremely tight and cramped.
The turret contained two .30 cal machineguns, and could be upgraded, but not in mid-flight.
"Leekduck? Can we upgrade these guns?" asked Explorer, and Leekduck frowned.
"Well you COULD upgrade to a pair of 50. cal machineguns, but they wouldn't fire as fast as these ones."
Explorer, however, wanted to perform the upgrade, and called over a pair of mechanics.
"Hey guys? Could you please upgrade these guns on the rear turret to 50. cal?"
"Sure, but that'll cost you 45000 coins. After all, the air force pays for these!" replied a mechanic.
"Bill Leekduck. He's the pilot." giggled Explorer, and Leekduck groaned.
"The last thing I wanted to do was support the Waffliean mili-" groaned Leekduck, but he caught himself and handed over the cash.
Delighted, the mechanics removed the rear machineguns and refitted it with the slower-firing 50 cals.
They handed Explorer a string of ammo in case he had to reload, and then they left.
There wasn't any air traffic controllers there. They had fled amid the chaos that unfolded at the airport.
"Fighter C-4-5-6, taking off Runway 17," said Leekduck
The fighter's propellers began to spin, and the engine roared.
Inside the plane Explorer couldn't hear much, but from what others had told him Waffliean planes were really, really loud.
Eventually they began to speed down the runway, and soon Leekduck gently pulled back on the yoke.
They were airborne.
"Now, this fighter is rather slow, so it should take quite a while to get there. It should take a couple days, not counting stops at airports and-"
"What was THAT?" screamed Explorer, and he quickly turned around and looked behind through the turret windows.
They were being hunted by a pack of...
"SNOSS FIGHTERS INCOMMING! PREPARE FOR EVASIVE ACTION!" shouted Leekduck, and he quickly rolled the aircraft to dodge the fighter's bullets.
"Attention invaders! This is Wing Commander Woolard! You will be fired upon, WE REPEAT, YOU WILL BE FIRED UPON!" shouted a staticy voice through the aircraft's integrated radio, and true to their word they began to fire.
Explorer grabbed the handles of his weapon and began firing, but his aim was terrible and his bullets scattered all over the sky.
"WE'VE BEEN HIT!" screamed Leekduck as the fighter began to shudder, and bullets whizzed past.
As soon as he was done speaking, the lead fighter began to make a loud noise, and two heat-seaking missiles sped towards the fighter.
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Explorer, but Leekduck whacked him and ended his screaming.
As the missiles sped towards their plane, Explorer suddenly began to become filled with an amazing calm.
Time seemed to almost grind to a halt as he moved the sights, and Explorer pointed them right at the lead plane.
Grinning, he pulled the trigger.
His aim was true, and the bullets flew out of his turrets, right towards the head of the pack...
"AGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I'M HIT! I'M HIT!!!!" screamed the lead pilot over the radio, and it suddenly dawned on Explorer that he'd shot down Woolard, the famous Snoss ace!
Last time he'd looked (which was a few years back), Woolard's kills had been over 50, and they were surely much higher then before.
But he had no time to reflect, as Leekduck suddenly performed a stunning barrel roll, and the missiles missed them by a hair's width.
"Attention Snoss pilots, we advise you to leave now. This is the Waffliean squadron C456, and you shall go no further." sounded a staticy voice over the radio, and Explorer looked to his right.
A squadron of Waffliean light fighters were heading right for the snoss planes, guns blazing, and the snoss began to scatter.
Within seconds many of them had went down in flames, and Explorer and Leekduck had soon left Snowzerland and were heading over the sea to land at Waffleland, where they would refuel and head towards the Darktonian Realm.
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