Fat

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Watch your weight, chicks!
An example of a penguin that is suffering from Phase III. The victim is shown trying to rub his obese belly, but can hardly reach.
The Pin that shows you that someone is suffering from Fat

Fat is a bad condition of life in Club Penguin and the rest of the USA. It is not populated much in the UnitedTerra (thank goodness), just 10% of the whole place.

It is not contagious, but is actually a lifestyle choice. Watch your weight, chicks!


Symptoms[edit]

There are four stages of Fat.

  • Phase I: The victim starts to engage in an obsession of McDoodle's Big Pac burger, Burger Khan's Popper, and other fast food junk meals.
  • Phase II: The victim starts getting fatter and fatter every second and begins selling everything they own, just to buy burgers. They hardly watch Ninjinian's health videos ever.
  • Phase III: The weirdest phase. The victim creates a new igloo out of burgers. Their furniture is made of burgers and their floor is made of fattening marshmallows. The victim now creates Burger Shakes which they drink for every meal. They eat nothing but junk food. The victim now watches Ninjinian's health videos regularly.
  • Phase IV: The victim becomes unbelievably obese and now cannot move any muscle due to the excessive amounts of fat. The victim can only roll over or belly-slide to move and has over thirty-five chins. They now start lose interest in the videos.
  • Optional Phase: If the disease is not cured by the day after the start of Phase IV, the victim can possibly die due to obesity. Ninjinian's videos can't help them now. Poor penguin.

Plan[edit]

A plan to lose fat is currently being come up by Explorer 767 (who, FYI, is a biology expert) and company. Happyface is helping out and funding the experiment. It is believed that Mathster is helping out.

  • The cure is based on attempting to speed up the breakdown and digestion of fatty acids. Unfortunately, most test subjects started vomiting (similar to regurgitating, though it is involuntary) all over the floor. This is the first ever recording of penguins throwing up in history.
    • The only problem is that Explorer 767 is continuously scaring his co-workers by converting the simple, 4-step process of beta-oxidation (which is what breaks down fatty acids, in case you didn't know) into a "ghost story". So far, he has managed to scare 200 nerds off the workforce.
  • On December 19, 2008, the cure was close to completion, but a very angry Mabel messed it up by putting fur in it. The test subjects who took the batch turned into puffles.
  • On December 20, a successful cure was made after mixing chemicals. It created an enzyme that catalyzed the process of beta-oxidation. The penguin infected will gradually, over a period of a week, return to its normal size.
  • There is also the obvious plan: excercise. The plan shown next to us has been the cure all along and gyms are opening up to help people work the Fat out of themselves. The only drawback is that this plan is very slow and takes months to effectively work.
  • Despite the very hard work, exercise would be the best way to cure yourself, because the cure (from doctors) is very expensive.
  • Ninjinian's health videos on PengTube has helped hundreds of Fat penguins and have cured them swiftly, and are recommended by experts.
  • Nerd Sickness is an instant remedy for Fat, since part of the nerd stereotype is not being fat.


Explorer 767's "Horror" Story[edit]

Note: Imported from old revision of the Explorer 767 page.


Don't even try to understand it. It's advanced biochemistry, and we're not sure if Explorer 767 understands it himself.


Explorer 767: (in Nerd Mode) And so the little acyl-CoA heard a scratch, scratch, at the membrane of the mitochondrion. And so, when he opened the ionic channel--

(one of the nerds screams, "MAMA!!" and ducks under the conference table)

Explorer 767: (continuing) ...he saw not one, not two, not three, and NOT 3.14159265--

(all the nerds gasp loudly)

Explorer 767: (continuing) ... but FOUR large enzymes!!!

(two nerds scream, "AAAAH!!!" and run under the conference table)

Explorer 767: (continuing) So, this, this, motley, ragged bunch of enzymes, well... they meant business. So, do you know what they did?

(all the nerds shake their heads rapidly)

Explorer 767: Well... (grins evily) ... the first one—called acyl CoA dehydrogenase — brought his little minion out, a little mean molecule called FAD. Well... guess what the two terrible duo did to the innocent carboxcylic acid?

(all the nerds whimper)

Explorer 767: (laughing evily) They... OXIDIZED HIM!!!!

(three nerds scream, "SAVE US!!!" and duck under the conference table)

Explorer 767: So, the FAD — that rude little mugger, much like Mabel - well, he shuttled the stolen electrons off to who knows where. And then, another enzyme called enoyl CoA hydratase — came up and brought out his little minion. And do you know who it was?

(all the nerds shake their heads rapidly)

Explorer 767: (yelling maniacally) DHMO!!!!

(Four nerds yell and run under the conference table. Explorer 767 continues with his "scary" beta-oxidation tale, until he reaches the very last part:)

Explorer 767: And finally, the last enzyme came up and brought out a molecule of COENZYME A!!! And do you know what they did to the fatty acid?

(the remaining nerd shakes his head rapidly)

Explorer 767: (ominously) They... THIOLYZED HIM INTO BITS OF ACETYL COA!!!

(the nerd screams and runs out of the conference room)

Explorer 767: (preening his feathers) Pity they all ran out. I was about to tell them how the bits and pieces of the poor carboxcylic acid got sent into the Krebs Cycle.

Allegations that it is not a disease[edit]

Some popular penguins and others in the medical field argue that Fat isn't a disease that can't be helped. They want it off the medical registry as a disease, because they call it a "lifestyle choice". It is always pointed out, though, that these "fat deniers" are usually right-wing nutjobs that have creepy work ethics. Some don't think depression is a disease, either.

For instance, the citizens of Mattress Village, and Explorer 767's Family (both famous for their brutal work ethics) believe that Fat is not a true disease. These are joined by both sides of TurtleShroom's family and, stangely enough, Aunt Agatha, who claims she "likes being this big and wanted to do it".

Those who say Fat isn't a disease claim that the only way to cure fat is to "eat healthy, exercise daily, and sleep well." However, critics say this process is too simple to work, but it's still unsure.

Trivia[edit]

  • When one is suffering from Fat, one of the pins in their inventory is a blob that says "Fat". All other pins are deleted until the weight is brought to more decent levels.
  • Ninjinian uploads videos on PengTube on how to prevent & decreasing your fat.
  • Fat is obtained by eating junk food and all sorts of unhealthy foods, but mostly it's because of not exercising.
    • One can also get fat by eating the Fat Weed.
  • Cabel von Injoface is really fat. Really, really fat.
  • Root Cola can't make you fat.
  • Lobelia Sackville is secretly somewhat fat but denies it.
  • Tropical Adelie Penguins and Fiordland Penguins are immune to fat. This is one of the main reasons why Slendar doesn't get this disease whenever he eats something at McDoodle's.
  • Flywish is immune to Fat and besides if he gets it he burns it quickly.
  • LMGT is one of the only penguins that has a desire to become fat. He thinks that his stomach can hold more food if he is fatter.
  • If a penguin is born fat, that means that he/she will gain intelligence while losing his/her fat. The reason is unknown, but Richperson is currently researching it.
  • Amigopen, despite looking fat, is not affected by fat.
  • Paffles, due to their pastry addiction, have a resistance to fat. Scientists are currently studying this resistance to find a cure for fat.
  • Peng Guin became fat for a short time due to McDoodle's fast food, but excercised and recovered quickly.
  • Penstubal once tried a McDoodle's big burgers. When he ate one, instead of his stomach being fat, his head became leopard seal size!
  • Jong Arnold became fat when he became depressed after the Colonial Antarctica treason. Ever since, he binges on Cream Soda, rice and lobsters every single day.
  • Snow, a white Puffle, is aware of this disease currently spreading through particular Puffles, and has given all his friends shots.
  • While Fooly and his siblings are often seen eating excessive amounts of unhealthy meals, they never seem to get any fat. And if they do, it is often plot related and goes away by the end of the day. Nobody knows how or why.