Fish-dueling
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Fish-dueling is an old and popular method of fighting, invented by the cave-penguin in ancient times, improved by the Asiapelago, and adopted by Pengolia. It is the ancestor to sword-fighting.
Contents
History[edit]
Antarctica B.C.[edit]
Fish dueling was present in the times of the primitive cave-penguins, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. It was a method of fighting as primitive as their inventors. Our ancestors would grab a fairly large fish, and slap an opponent's face with it until one of the duelers would grow tired of it. Cave-penguins would do this as a competition for a mate, disputing food between two different tribes, or even for the amusement of each other. (Amusement in those times was also very primitive). Fish dueling was present in every part of Antarctica, but only a few territories further developed it, which brings us into:
Fish-dueling in the Asiapelago and Zhouese Fish-Dueling[edit]
The Asiapelago in ancient times was one of the first civilizations to develop fish-dueling into a sophisticated art. Zhou was the first country of the Asiapelago to start incorporating the fish into its martial arts and wars, using it as the main weapon of their fighting styles, when they needed a weapon.
Thought the ancestors of the Zhouese used their fish in a primitive, unsophisticated and maybe stupid way, the Zhouese monks developed this fighting method, and trained and taught their students to use the fish in an agile and smart way, to slap and smack the enemy in many, many other ways (sometimes deadly) apart from slapping the other's face. This art was known as Zhouese Fish-dueling around the world.
Some variants of the Zhouese martial arts would teach their students to use the fish acrobatically and airborne. Those who learned from the monks this type of fish-dueling would often display their skills at theaters and street shows, but those who stayed a long time at the monasteries would come out as fearful soldiers, capable of one hit-KO'ing an enemy with an airborne, double back-flip barrel-roll fish slap at the face. But few penguins we're willing to spend years of their life training at a monastery just to do that.
The art of Zhouese fish-dueling would then be exported to the other known Asiapelago countries, and fish-dueling would evolve into other different martial-arts in the other countries. The Three Masters and other monks would also travel by boat to discover new lands, and found Club Penguin. There, they founded the art of Card-Jitsu, but also brought there fish-dueling.
After some time, the fish would eventually be replaced by it's successor, the deadlier sword, but fish-dueling remains a popular sport and alternative for sword-fighting (either because a sword is too expensive, or because of not wanting to get harmed). Monks at modern monasteries at Zhou also conserve the tradition of their ancestors, using both the fish and sword, and some exclusively teach using the fish.
Fish-dueling in Club Penguin Island[edit]
In Club Penguin, Card-Jitsu was founded by The Three Masters, who came from Zhou, and many penguins would become Ninjas, practitioners of the new martial art. Thought other monks other than The Three Masters would try popularizing Zhouese Fish-Dueling there, the penguins of Club Penguin Island wouldn't find this martial art as fun as Card-Jitsu, and had enough with their own version of fish-dueling, which is basically the same as cave-penguin fish-dueling. The monks eventually passed away, and the art of Zhouese fish-dueling would be lost forever (in Club Penguin Island).
Thought the Zhouese never managed to popularize their own version of this sport, penguins of Club Penguin Island still fish-duel, but not as agile and acrobatically as the Zhouese. Club Penguin inhabitants still slap each other with fishes as their ancestors, and the sport remains fairly popular, since as the pacifists Club Penguin inhabitants are (most of them), they prefer fish-dueling over the harmful sword-fighting of firearms for solving conflicts, and normally they don't even take those mesures. They normally just play a non-friendly game of Mancala, report to the EPF, or just talk.
Fish-dueling in Pengolia[edit]
Fish-dueling is perhaps at the peak of it's popularity at Pengolia. Really, try going to Pengolia and NOT get slapped with a fish. There, pretty much everything is solved by fish-dueling. Here is a typical everyday conversation which ends up into a fish-duel at Pengolia:
-Tourist: Look at that Khanz. He looks so stupid. (To other tourist).
-Khanz: (After hearing tourist). I heard you! You dare call me that in the face?
-Tourist: Oooh, you are so scary. Not.
-Khanz: Oh, it's on! *pulls out random fish out of nowhere and starts slapping tourist*.
-Tourist: Ouch, ouch! Stop, stop!! I beg you!!!!
Also, in Pengolia lives perhaps the grandmaster of fish-dueling, maybe only rivaled by the Zhouese monks: The short but fearful... *drum roll*: Penghis Khan! He is known for being one of the few fish-duelers in the world to wield a Mullet, and none dares to annoy him, for if you do dare to annoy him, you will be slapped with fish! (Or if you are in East Pengolia, Fish will slap YOU!).
Fish dueling in Liguria and Gladiators[edit]
Fish-dueling in Liguria evolved differently than in Zhou, perhaps oppositely. While in Zhou, fish-dueling was sophisticated, in Liguria, fish-dueling was brutal, brutal at a much higher degree than cave-penguins.
Fish-dueling was mainly used by gladiators, who fought for the entertainment of the public in ancient time. Two gladiators would simply charge at each other and slap each other brutally with many varieties of fish (from Mullets to sardines), until one would fall to the ground. Then, the public would vote if the loser should have a second-chance (and a rematch against the winner) or not. If not, the winner would grab a shark, and slap the loser on the floor the hardest he could on the face. Nothing bad to the loser really, except a really painful cheek and public humiliation for the rest of his life.
In Liguria, the fish would also be replaced by the sword eventually.
Variants[edit]
Fish-dueling has evolved into various other variants of the sport, including:
- Zhouese Fish-Dueling: The most useful of all fish-dueling, it is taught at Zhouese monasteries. Students are taught to wield a fish with most agility and intelligence.
- Gladiating: Brutal fish-dueling, used by the Gladiators. This variant is extinct.
- Cave-Penguin dueling: Just slapping each others face with a small fish.
- Fish Fencing: Invented in Frankterre, this version is for sport-usage, and consists in whacking the opponents as many times as possible while evading the opponent's fish.
Notable users[edit]
- Penghis Khan: The Grandmaster of fish-dueling, the only one worth of wielding the Imperial Mullet. Fish will slap YOU!.
- Doom Knight: They wield mullets to slap helpless penguins they find around.
- Zhouese: The inventors of Zhouese Fish-Dueling, masters of the art.
- Ninjas: They sometimes use a fish in Card-Jitsu. Also, some ninjas in preparation for Card-Jitsu Snow have been seen wielding a war hammer made out of a tank with a goldfish inside, but this may not count as a real fish for fish-dueling.
Sport[edit]
Fish-dueling has also been made into sport-usage by the Frankterrans, the sport called "Fish Fencing" (we have no ideas what does it have to do with fences). The sport consists in moving up and down a line, trying to slap any part of the opponent's body with a long fish, while evading the opponent's attacks. Competitions are held annually, and penguins from all around Antarctica assist them.
