Generic Politician

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Generic Politician
Generic politicians from the Western Union.
Generic politicians from the Western Union.
Conservation Status
Scientific classification
Domain: Eukarya
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Aves
Subclass: Theria
Infraclass: Eutheria
Order: Sphenisciformes
Family: Spheniscidae
Genus: Politician


Generic Politicians are an odd and common class of penguins who roam throughout Antarctica, attempting to influence the lives of everyday penguins and puffles by entering into the obscure and complex world of Antarctic politics.

While most Generic Politicians are well-intentioned and do have unique personality traits, astute observers often group all of them into one homogeneous group due to their near ubiquitous love of wearing suits and talking about boring politics and whatnot. It is important to note, however, that to be classed as a Generic Politician, characters must fall into one of the two defining categories (love of wearing suits and talking about politics), and not necessarily both.

Much like scrubs, Generic Politicians are not limited to any particular race of penguins, and there is no race which seems to produce more politicians than any other.

History[edit]

Generic Politicians are not a new phenomenon whatsoever, and have been widespread across Antarctica for hundreds of years. The proliferation of these political fellows became particularly obvious in the Ninja Archipelago in the 1800's, as more and more countries transitioned to democratic regimes as opposed to absolute monarchies. As power transitioned from one monarch to a representative system, these representatives had to come from somewhere, and as such, a multitude of very similar-looking and acting penguins and puffles began to pop up more and more frequently with the sole intention of being politicians.

Those who were able to break the Fourth Wall have oft remarked on the rise of the Generic Politicians and their apparent homogeneity, with a widespread and common motivation to pursue power and wield it over their constituents. As more countries began to declare independence and democratize in the 1900's and 2000's, the amount of Generic Politicians has risen precipitously.

In the past, Generic Politicians used to always wear the traditional suit; a dress-shirt, dress-pants, dress-shoes, a tie and a lounge jacket were par for the course until quite recently, when more and more penguins who checked most boxes to be classified as Generic Politicians began to diversify their wardrobes. Politicians such as Lavender and Christina van Guilera have moved away from fitting in with the rest of the crowd, instead opting to wear unique outfits, although most of their defining traits are still linked to their careers.

Typical traits and characteristics[edit]

Although not all Generic Politicians possess all of the following traits, there is a strong correlation between possessing a multitude of these traits and at least being perceived as a Generic Politician.

  • Always wearing a suit is one of the most popular identifiers of a Generic Politician, as why would anyone ever wear a suit if they weren't trying to impress a crowd of uneducated and gullible voters?
  • Revolving their entire persona around their political career is also a common identifier; to appeal to as broad a base as possible, many Generic Politicians will wash away more controversial personality traits in favor of a more, well, generic persona so that their electability is directly tied to their policies as opposed to their personal lives.
  • Generic Politicians often have many friends who are also Generic Politicians, as there is strength in numbers.
  • These characters are often accused of being boring and dry by those who are not into politics.
  • As a general rule, the title of Generic Politician is usually only applied to those who get involved in democratic governments. As such, presidents, prime ministers, senators and representatives can all fall under this umbrella term, while kings, queens or saints are usually not labeled as Generic Politicians.
    • Conversely, however, many dictators are labeled as Generic Politicians despite their roles in completely undemocratic governments.
  • Most Generic Politicians are well-known across Antarctica for their roles in politics and nothing else. Politicians who happen to have a prominent role outside of politics such as Billybob or Megg are exempt from this list for this very reason.
  • Most Generic Politicians are unable to break the Fourth Wall, and are blissfully unaware of its existence, instead believing that they are the true controllers of Antarctica's fate.
  • It is also common for Generic Politicians to be generic successful businessmen, having a lot of money, owning large companies or investing their wealth to spread their influence. This is a secondary characteristic that wouldn't specify if someone is a Generic Politician on its own.

List of Generic Politicians[edit]

Below is a list that has been compiled by the brightest minds out there which lists some of Antarctica's best-known Generic Politicians. To make it on this list, characters need to satisfy most of the qualities listed above.


  • Add more!

Trivia[edit]

  • Generic Politicians were originally created by the Bureau of Fiction to fill out the governments of various nations, to keep them running smoothly without having to put much effort into the staff. The fact that many of them have risen to become the leaders of these countries is a fluke unintended by the Bureau.

See Also[edit]