Giant Swiss-Terrain Cookie War

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The Two Clashes
Date August 29 – September 5, 2009
(1 week)
Location Zero Reverse Ground
Result Slumalia was regained for UnitedTerra!
Casus belli The Terra Federation got angry on Swiss Ninja for conquering Southwest Slumolia.
West Reverse & East Reverse
Happyface Swiss Ninja Ninjinian
A whole giant UnitedTerra army, full of strong penguins ready with cookies. Also The Mountain Spartans. Southwest Slumolia and UCSN soldiers. Plus they got the advantage because the chef of all the cookies is on their side! They get to handle the whole war!
Went home happy of the result. Well most of them, anyway. Swiss Ninja realized he wasn't that high and mighty after all... Praisers!
Many giant cookies were broken during this war.

The Giant Swiss-Terrain Cookie War, officially named The Two Clashes, was a war that the Terra Federation & Penguin Police Troop declared against Swiss Ninja's army that lasted a week in Zero Reverse, which was at that time fielded into East Reverse & West Reverse.

Many claim that it did not feel like the war was just 7 days. It felt like the war went on for a long time. It was estimated that if the all the neutral penguins which were in South & North Reverse joined in the war, the war would have only lasted 4 days.

The game, which was released on February 2nd, 2010 has sold more copies than Great Darktonian Pie War: The Game. The game is called the Giant Swiss-Terrain Cookie Game.



The Antarctic Times were clear, war was just around the corner.

This was the first war UnitedTerra had had ever.

The concept went like this. Ninjinian comes into the centre of the Reverses of Zero Reverse, and then holds a solid milk chocolate cookie chip in one flipper, and then in the other flipper, a dark chocolate chip. The commanders, Happyface for the Terrains and the Europhics & Swiss Ninja for the Swisses.

There was going to be a lot of clean-up in Zero Reverse at the end . . . .

The Two Clashes[edit]

Chapter One: Let The War Begin![edit]

The whole city had been evacuated for the war. Zero Reverse was deserted. The Reverse Tower shone brightly.

A crowd of penguins started walking towards a small circular table, with two barrels as seats. They came from the West Reverse, the Terrains.

Then from the East Reverse, the Swisses appeared marching forward.

From the North Reverse, Ninjinian, Crow & Mayor Crepsley showed up.

Happyface & Swiss Ninja sat down on the barrels, and shook flippers in arm-wrestle form.

Mayor Crepsley cleared his throat, then spoke. "Just so you all know I am the Grand Controller of this part, d'innit. so I decide wat happens, dough you all noe dat I am narrating every-"

"Oh be quiet, already! The Lord needs his silence!" roared Swiss Ninja. The crazy penguin stopped speaking.

"Your going down." glared Happyface.

"Don't count on it. Swiss knows what he is doing." claimed Swiss Ninja.

Ninjinian then spoke. "OK, so you all cookie-know how the concept goes, right?" The two commanders shook their heads. "Great!" The Cookie Master took out the cookie chocolate-chips. One was milk chocolate. The other dark chocolate.

"You brothers, boys, will need to cookie-find the milk chocolate chip. Whichever brother finds it in the correct flipper decides their cook- I mean ammo, brother." explained Ninj. He got the chips, then swapped them around behind his back. He showed the two commanders fist.

"First, you will have to do "Snow, ice, flippers." to choose who gets to choose the flipper first. Happyface won.

"Happyface, choose your flipper, brother." He pointed at his right-side flipper. Ninj revealed his flippers.

"Woohoo. Who won, Swissy? Woot, woot!"

"You were just lucky." claimed Swiss Ninja.

"Happyface, which d'innit do you want?" asked Mayor Crepsley. He thought for a minute, then looked at the chocolate chip cookies Ninj was scoffing down secretly. That gave him an idea.

"How about we use sponge-cookies?" asked Happyface. Khakis spat out the milk he was drinking with a chocolate chip he manoeuvred out of Ninjinian. DJ Crow's turntables records scratched.

"Brother so be it! Tidalwave11!" called the Cookie Master.

"Yes, sir?" saluted Tidalwave11.

"We need a batch of giant sponge-cookies made ASAP." commanded Ninjinian. The chef came back in about a minute with thousands, possibly atleast a million of cookies.

Chapter One and a Half: The Hard Times of Old Freezeland[edit]

In Jolly Old Freezeland, just after the Elections, Freezeland realised the new problem. War with a close ally.

Freezeland didn't know what to do. They did not want to fight the Happyface State, Freezeland's closest ally and neighbour, but they also didn't want their land to be invaded by either side.

Freezeland turned to their new Prime Minister, Amluc Riam, who instantly declared war, to most penguin's, including Triskelle's, dismay.

Freezeland was torn apart, only a few days into a new PM's term.

The Keepers, Royal Army Division 48 ('Confec. Cont.'), Royal Airforce Brigade 221 'The Cherry Bombers', The Bounders, The Shirrifs, chicks wanting candy and cookies, and the Freezelandian 'Sweetooth' Police Brigade were all called into high alert and sent to Southern Snowbourne, all armed with confectionary related weaponry.

Though everyone could agree on one thing; there was going to be a HUGE mess.

Chapter One and a Quarter: Saint Ninjinian Sounds the Alarm[edit]

A bearded penguin was practising his Marital arts & ninja skills in a Dojo. Someone knocked on the door. The penguin stopped, and responded to the knock.

"Come in."

A penguin came in and spoke. "Saint Ninjinian III, sir. The war has already started."

"I told you not to call me saint. I live up to Ninjarachness now." responded the third saint.

"Yes, sir. What are you going to do about the war?" asked the penguin.

"Nothing? But sir-"

"Please." stopped Ninjarachness. "I am old and frail. What should I do about this anyway. This wretched war is nothing. Nothing I say! No more."

"Yes sir." bowed the penguin, and walked out. He didn't want anything to do with it. He thought it was wrong. His two of three great-great grandsons, Ninjinian & Crow were on neutral for the war, but he cared a lot. He started out of the window for a while, then continued with his practising.

Maddieworld, her son in law, and Jessica walked through the door. They cluched their foam cookies tight, and when Maddie, the wife of Swiss Ninja, was speaking, Jessie and Ninja Wraith had pillow fights with their cookies.

"The other side's trampled the roses outside our castle, sweetie."

"WHAT?! Our servants worked really hard on those! WE MUST BEGIN TO FIGHT, LADIES!" Screamed Swiss Ninja.

"Do NOT call us ladies." Said Ninjinian with anger in his voice.

The slightly large platoon zoomed out the doors, and the cookie fight officialy began.

Chapter Two: Let's Get This War Started![edit]

The Mountain Spartans, the most feared army in the USA, polished their weapons. Iron Walrus will be leading them into battle. In Iceland, they were prepared to fight Swiss Ninja's forces.

Iron Walrus has given the Mountain Spartans special armor, which shoots cookies at full force.. In fact, they have Da PWNER ready to be launched.

The United Cities of Swiss Ninja Army is afraid. All they had were cookie-launchers, which didn't throw very far.

They got into a line, and charged which all their might.

"YEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!" one soldier shouted. He jumped up, but then a Spartan tackled him.

Happyface, who was guarding Iceland, closed the face of his helmet. He took out his sword made of cookie, and faced the Great General of the Swiss Forces. The Great General took out his sword, and the two began to clash. Happyface took out a cookie and threw it at the Great General, who just hit it away with his shield.

Happyface did a flip and whacked the general on the back of the head. The General was knocked out.

A group of Spartans and Mounteese Soldiers were moving quickly. They had to infiltrate the enemy base.

The war was no longer a cookie war. It turned into a deletion and snowball war. The five soldiers approached the camp grounds of the Swiss forces. Swiss forces spotted them and they began opening fire on the Terrains.

"COVER ME!!!" Private Howards jumped forward and threw a deletion grenade in the camp.


The camp was no more, and the Spartans were successful. They met back with the rest of the army and began to fight again.

Swiss forces were on the run. Judge Konquer signed a document which meant the Mounteese airforce could wipe out Swiss's army trying to escape onto ships. Launched from a Mounteese airfield the Mounteese began Operation Royal Flush after the best poker hand. Arcticfighter Tsunamis and Lockheed F-IIS ArcticTerns were waiting for the Snowzerlandians to retreat. B-2 Spectres were also in the wait, ready to drop deadly Spam Bombs onto Swiss's army.

A ArcticTern pilot spoke on the Com Channel One to the AEW&C Iceland President.

"Shiver One to Iceland President" she said. "When is the attack going to begin? Over!"

After a few seconds a Spartan soldier spoke on the com channel.

"They're retreating! Start the attack!" he said.

The squadron of B-2s saw several Swiss Pie Tanks and dropped at least 700 heavy Spam Bombs.

"This is Condor Squadron" Condor One said. "Confirmation - we hit the target - how devestating must that be?" he said.

The Arcticfighters and ArcticTerns moved into position, shooting HAMs at the sitting ducks.


A bomb landed on one of the tanks. Six hundred soldiers looked above to see 700 spam bombs being fired at them.

Stealth tech had fooled the Snowzerlandian. Only Arcticfighters were picked up by the ground rader.

Pie Tanks were spammed as were many soldiers. Soon several ArcticTerns and Arcticfighters dropped their HAMs.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" shouted Corporal Mitchell.

"Keep running!" ordered Captain Mike.

But it was useless. Almost the entire retreating regiment were devestated. They had been completely destroyed. Spartan soldiers arrived, taking prisoners. Only 20 out of the 600 soldiers got onto the ships. 500 were captured and the rest are MIA.

The result was the same across the island.

Operation Royal Flush continued. The Penguin Police Troop was stationed in Iceland on a peacekeeping duty. Despite having crack tanks and equipment the Swisses outnumbered them. And they planned to stage an attack which would lead them to Ice Town.

Four Penguin Police Troopers were playing a game of Go Fish.

"Got a 7 of Spades Jenkins" asked Private First Class Roger.

"Yeah" sighed Corporal Jenkins. Roger was a Go Fish demon. Peteson was not happy.

"You're cheating arn't you?" he said, attacking Roger verbally.

"No I'm not" grinned Roger.

"You are!"

"Can you guys shut up!?!" Sargent Major Johnson yelled at them. He was polishing his badges.

"Yes sir!" Lance Corporal Harley yelled.

"Got a 6 of - SWISSES!" Roger yelled.

"There are no Swisses" Johnson said just before a cookie hit his face.

"Fire!" ordered Corporal Jenkins, grabbing a Terrian Cookie Launcher, more effective then the Swisses launcher. He was now the highest ranking trooper since Johnson was knocked out.

The attack was held off. The Swisses retreated without any casualties. The four soldiers took their cards and stared at Johnson. Jenkins checked his pulse.

"He's alive. In a coma" he said. "We'll leave some Coolk for him and send in a search and rescue team evac him. For now we need to get back to base. The Mountain Spartans are too far to reach us. They're in the countryside."

"This is Base A! Fall back to Ice Town! The Swisses have - ARGHHHHHH!" a voice yelled on Johnson's radio.

Back on Swiss Ninja's island of Snowzerland, the Lord of the United Cities looked out the large window of his castle estate as he saw the construction of his new cities being built. By his side were his puffles Leonardo, Sparta, and Athens, as well as his two younger brothers, Fisch and Clovis.

Swiss Ninja:"I can not believe Happyface, that idiot! He wants to fight me over a silly invasion? I was doing everyone a favor by taking that sorry plot of land. Obviously the international community does not see my great work of charity. Once the UCSN grasps the rest of Slumolia, we will turn the dump into a First World society!"

Fisch:"Certainly such a move was against international protocol-"

Swiss Ninja:"Bah, whatever! I did it for a good cause. The USCN has been growing in strength since more corporations, wealthy individuals, and especially banks are investing in our Union of cities. Eventually I will have to create a full fledged nation!"

Fisch:"Of course- all these immigrants from the nearby Ninja Archipelagoan islands are spreading into the countryside. At least that helps with agriculture."

Swiss:"Agriculture does not bring prosperity. This war will, though, once I win. That will show these UnitedTerrans and Mountain Spartans not to mess with me! A rising star!"

Fisch:"Of course, of course."

Fisch and Clovis looked at each other silently. They always grew up with their Brother's developing ego, but they always complained of it in private. Nevertheless, they never dared to confront it since they had no intention to fight their brother.

Swiss continued to rant.

Swiss:"And you know what? I'm sick of these rules too. I want to use icebullet guns, ditto bombs, and deletion instead of these pathetic cookies and pancakes. I mean seriously, just because of that one war we all have to follow? How great."

Clovis:"Look at the bright side, at least this war doesn't actually do a lot of damage to UCSN troops."

Swiss:"But then that is same for the enemy. Goodness me, these idiots are just jealous that I had the audacity to reach out to the poor and destitute. Surely they are the bad guys for thinking so."

Swiss left the room with Sparta and Athens. Fisch, Clovis, and Leonardo didn't say anything.