Grand Poobah of the Multiverse
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The most useless being in the government, Poobah. He's also very naive...
May 28, 1984
Club Penguin Island
|Residence||A mental hospital, South Pole City|
|Other names||Pooh, Poop, ect ect|
|Occupation||Being "Grand Poobah of the Multiverse"|
|Employer||Probally Billybob, rumored to be Uncle Bungee|
|Home town||South Pole City|
|Salary||More then you'll ever earn in a lifetime|
|Weight||Unknown, but judging by the looks of him he appears very heavy.|
|Known for||Being green, being stupid, useless.|
|Title||Grand Poobah of the Multiverse, Lord High Most Everything Else.|
|Board member of||Board of Uselessness|
The Grand Poobah of the Multiverse, Lord High Most Everything Else is a rather naive, clumsy green bear-like creature that lives in South Pole City. He supposedly plays a very important role in the South Pole Council but in reality his high place is just talk and he really does nothing for the government other then wear a crown and act as a public figure. Poobah is well known for his extreme purity (he can't imagine anyone lying), clumsiness and love of hunny and big hugs that almost rival Winston's bone-crushing hugs. Amoung the public he is thought of as the personification of stupidity and clumsiness, but deep down a large of them really do care for that Fat bear, and they generally try and keep him out of trouble. Which is extraordanarily difficult.
On May 28th, 1984, inside the short-lived Club Penguin petting zoo, an imported female bear gave birth to a pair of cubs. The first one was normal, but the other one was different. It was...green, and it was extremely stupid. The mother bear took care of him along with his sister anyways, and he remained with her for 4 years, where she tried to teach him to act and think like a bear. That failed miserably, except she DID manage to teach him that honey was very, VERY tasty.
In Director Benny's office on 1989, Director Benny and Mayor McFlapp were having an argument. Mayor McFlapp had snuck into the Department of Plot earlier and written an extremely stupid character, without specifying the name. When Director Benny discovered the vandalism he was furious, and what started out as a simple argument became a fistfight, with the two exchanging blows (while Director Benny had to throw things, as he had no fists), and pretty soon the two were battered and bruised. Near the end of the fight, Mayor McFlapp picked up his rival and flung him at his computer.
Director Benny was now too weak to fight, and he turned to look at his precious laptop. When he had flown into his computer, he landed on the keyboard and accidentally pressed a few letters: P-O-O-B-A-H. Benny had also hit the approve button in the process, and since the latest edit was McFlapp's article, the edits were merged with the BoF's file for Poobah. The two Masters stood there, stunned.
Meanwhile, in the petting zoo the momma bear and her cub (Poobah was now an adult bear) were receiving their daily meal. Poobah, of course, was acting stupid as ever, and he wandered off, waiting for them to bring out the honey. Suddenly, purple lightning shot from the sky and zapped Poobah! Everyone expected that the poor bear was dead, but soon Poobah got up and walked on his hind legs towards the feeding tray. "Hunny!" he exclaimed, and the poor peeting zoo volenteer almost died of shock on the spot. Everyone was stunned as Poobah climbed over the fence, went nearby to one of the stands and bought a purple shirt (with some coins he found lying on the ground).
|“||It was McFlapp's fault. HE WAS SO STUPID! AND NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH AN IDIOTIC TALKING GREEN BEAR THAT'S OBSESSED WITH HONEY!||”|
Working for the Government
Try as they might, the Bureau of Fiction was not able to get rid of that bear, and they eventually grew desperate. The bear's antics of getting into honey (Director Benny was furious that he always misspelled it as "hunny") and generally being clumsy and stupid often got in the way of their plans, and he seemed to be uncontrollable by them. But things grew worse when in 1995 he somehow managed to get into the GOVERNMENT of the USA, and he continued to wreck havoc amoung the South Pole Council and other governments that he came across. This continued until 2010, when they finally fired him for being "grossly incompetent and whatnot".
Promotion to "Grand Poobah"
After he was fired, Poobah lived as a hobo, and never paid his taxes, which lead to several tangles with the IIRS. He even lead to one of their workers, Austin8310 to quit after one event where he smothered Austin in his precious "hunny", an act of true desperation. President Billybob eventually decided to give him a supposedly powerful, but really useless position in their system that had never been used called "Grand Poobah", who's job was to turn up at every Executive Cabinet meeting and do nothing. It is speculated that some Bureau of Nonsense worker inserted it "for teh lulz", but nobody can be sure. Poobah of course took the position, and the government was relieved to get him out of the way. HOWEVER this now meant that Poobah had to attend every single Executive Cabinet meeting, and he still managed to get into the way.
Promotion to "Grand Poobah of the Multiverse"
One day while bumbling along Poobah managed to find a secret Bureau of Fiction enterance, and when it asked for his identity, he absent-mindedly stuffed some honey into the machine, which then mistakenly took him to the Bureau of Fiction headquarters. Once there, Poobah began to wreck havoc amoung the halls, stealing honey wherever he could find it, and using machine parts as "hunny jars". Eventually Director Benny had had enough, and he booted Poobah out of the bureau. Poobah was very sad, but Mayor McFlapp (who felt sorry for the poor bear) added "of the Multiverse" to his title and secretly gave him a crown. Poobah cheered up immidately, and he went back to the South Pole Council, just managing to reach the day's meeting in time.
Poobah is very simple and easy going, and he's nice to about everyone there is. He is quite naive and an extreme purist, and to him the world is all happiness, sunshine and butterflies everywhere. While his unintellegence is not as great as his clumsiness, Poobah is less intellegent then the average penguin but he is quite smart for bears in general. With his mitten-like hands and stubby legs, Poobah is quite clumsy and often drops or trips over things, and being a very poor runner, he is bad at escaping from danger, though not many would think of trying to hurt him. He also is rather kind to Mwa Mwa Penguins, as he belives that they are real Chicks and treats them as such. His gullibility rivals that of TurtleShroom's, and poor Poobah has sometimes almost unknowingly become the pawn of someone he once considered a "friend". This is because he cannot imagine anyone doing anything as bad as stealing, and being very trusting, he will fall for almost every scam there is.
Poobah currently resides in a mental hospital in South Pole City, where he attends every single South Pole Council meeting, causing havoc and getting in the way. While many oppose him and wish for him to step down or be fired, deep down many of those really do care for him and feel sorry for the bear. While at the meetings he is supposed to sit there and do nothing, he does everything but nothing. He often interrupts important talks with his "thoughts", and often he is the on the receiving end of one of Explorer 767's pranks. Poobah is one of the most famous examples of goverment inefficency, and some cry for reform and the demotion of Poobah, though most know better then that.
The laws of the United States of Antartica state that "only one being is ever allowed to own the position Grand Poobah at one time, unless the current Poobah specificies a replacement in his will.". This ensures that Poobah cannot be replaced by any other then that who he chooses, but the only loophole is that there is no law against overthrowing Poobah. The position was made up by a bored council member, whose name will remain anonymous to avoid embarrasment, and submitted for approval. It was accecpted by another bored government official (who was half asleep), and the position became official, though nobody ever thought of it until Poobah came along. Grand Poobah's one and only job is to sit at each and every Executive Cabinet meeting and say nothing, while Grand Poobahs of the Multiverse are legally allowed to speak and interact with the council members.
- Beekeepers everywhere, as Poobah will pay lots to get honey
- Winston: Poobah is one of Winston's best friends, as they are both quite similar to each other.
- Uncle Bungee (rumored): He is rumored to be also employing Poobah and influencing his actions, as Poobah is very gullible.
- Mayor McFlapp: The good mayor is not an outright friend of Poobah, but he often helps him out and keeps him from getting fired.
- Manny Peng: Poobah does not particularly like this Mwa Mwa Penguin because Manny hasn't ever given him any free hunny whenever they crossed paths in the past (he thinks that if somebody crosses his path many times, after the third time they should give him some free hunny), but Manny Peng constantly hangs around him.
- Director Benny: He claims that Poobah is "useless and unfit to exist". Poobah is ignorant of this.
- Nightmare: The one person who Poobah truly dislikes, Nightmare is constantly sending out her minions to infect Poobah with the X-Virus. Not to mention that Nightmare scares Poobah, who belives the world should be full of happiness and butterflies everywhere.
- "Think Think Think!"
- "Hunny! What a wonderful surprise!"
Judge Xavier:OODDDDDUUUUUUU IN TEH COURT!!!!!!!
Xavier: What is it?
Poobah: I haven't finished my hunny yet.
- Poobah belives that Mwa Mwa Penguins are real Chicks and is very kind to them. He can't grasp the concept that some creatures lie. He's too good and pure, so what else are they but chicks?
- He is ovbiously a parody of Winnie the Pooh.
- One of his hobbies is making poems, songs and nursery rhymes that fit into his current situations.
- This habit has got nothing to do with his title being "of the Multiverse". He's just full-blown weird.
- From time to time, he climbs over Director Benny's desk whenever he is not there, and accidently creates new beings, such as Mugston Cupotea.
- Poobah's crown looks exactily like Swiss Ninja's crown, oddly enough.
- Mabel belives that he should be expelled, though this has failed time and again.
- Poobah's approval rating is currently at 89%.
- Despite his title, Poobah is not related to the Multiverse in any way.