Guin Faulks

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Guin Faulks
Gender Male
Race King Penguin
Faction Conservatives
Health Good for an old nab
Status Writing a book about conservatism or why he hates Polaris... probably
Location Snowflake Valley Retirement Home
Birth date 1924
Occupation Civil Servant, Soldier, Author
Interests Conservatism, Fascism
Friends Conservatives, Imperialists and Fascists
Enemies Polaris
Archetype Neutral

Guin Faulks is a Polarian conservative and para-fascist, who briefly a civil servant for the Kingfish government, a soldier in the Fire Kingdom Army and currently an Author, who famously attempted to kill Mayor James Monte Captio of Polaris by blowing up the Polaris City Council, which he was opening after a recent election, in order for his more conservative Deputy Mayor Dino Jackson, to become Mayor and for a re-election to be called, with the candidates likely to be consisting of more conservative members in the Polaris Democratic Party due to Alexander Jackson's conservatism. He was tortured, taking three days to reveal his own name and five more to reveal the names of the other Poitiers in the group. This is the only known case of the Polarian government ever torturing someone. He was sentenced to life imprisonment along side his fellow prisoners, however was eventually released and allowed to retire peacefully.


Guin was born in Rogerston, Polaris, in 1924, to a reletively wealthy family of King Penguins; his father, Edward, was a politically apathic Lawyer, while his mother Edith was a business-woman and a liberal activist. His parents weren't at all conservative; in fact, the Faulks family on Edwards' side had a reputation for being liberal activists, but in a conservative city, few listened them. Guin attended Rogerston College, a private school in Rogerston, from four years of age. At ten, an event known in Polaris known as the Purge of the Liberals occurred; his mother was arrested and executed.

His father feared becoming a victim of the liberal purge. After falling in love with a penguin called Lucy Nescity, he married her while Guin was 12. His stepmother, a conservative city councillor, influenced Guins' views. Guin Faulks' school taught him conservative beliefs however this was negated by Ediths' liberal agenda, while Edward was politically apathetic. However he soon became even more of a conservative. When he was 18, he attended the University of Polaris, reading a Bachelor of Arts in Classics. He was heavily involved in a number of pro-Kingfish societies, joining the University of Polaris Conservative Society. He also obtained an internship in the local government, where he was involved in the Propaganda Division. However at the age of 19 Edward divorced Lucy and suddenly died, leaving him without any family.

The Liberal Revolution occurred in 1945. Students at the University of Polaris attempted to hunt down Guin but he escaped to the Fire Kingdom after joining the army there.

Guin joined the Fire Kingdom army under King Ohzie Ablaza, a fascist who wished to conquer Antarctica. Guin sold his estate he inherited to the Black Market, using to travel to the Fire Kingdom and seek refugee status, which was granted. He joined the Army, spending a year at the Fire Kingdom Military Academy before graduating as a Second Lieutenant. He had a distinguished career; after being promoted to First Lieutenant a year later, he became a Captain in 1953, a Major in 1957 and was on track to becoming Lieutenant Colonel by 1963. He requested to lead an expeditionary force to invade Northeastern Eastshield and install Fascism there. However King Ohzie rejected it, claiming it would be a waste of resources.

Guins' time in the army was vital. Not only did he gain experience in explosives, which he would later attempt to use to blow up the City Council, but his ideology now contained elements of Fascism, although it wasn't pure Fascism but rather para-fascism. Although it gave him enough radicalism to get involved.

Guin met a conspirator, Thomas Winter, in a plot to kill James Monte Captio, Mayor of Polaris and the Polaris City Council. Guin happily got involves, having a hatred for the Monte Captios. He used his contacts in the Fire Kingdom Army to gain explosives. On the 4th November 1963, explosives were laid. While guarding them in a basement under the Polaris City Council an on the night of the Reopening of the Polaris City Council, he was about to set the timer when an armed police bomb disposal squad stormed the basement. Guin ran but he was surrounded and arrested. One of the co-conspirators, Roberto Seasil, had leaked them to the police, as his brother was a City Councilor.

Guin was tortured by the local police force. He refused to give names though, including his. Finally, he gave in after three days, stating that he was Guin Faulks. He wouldn't give anymore names until five days later. All other conspirators, including leader Roberto Cassano, Thomas Winter and nine other members were arrested. Guins' case was more serious; as he served in the Fire Kingdom Army, he could had been trailed by the Water Kingdom High Court and sentenced to death but Polaris protected him from that fate. After a speedy trial, he was sentence to life imprisonment. Conservatism in Polaris would never recover; Alexander Jackson's faction diminished and conservatism became restricted to the islands. The plot seemed to have a reverse effect. Also the Polaris City Council proclaimed the 5th November a bank holiday to celebrate the arrest of Giuon and he thwarting of the plot. In prison, he wrote several books, which have become best sellers.

In 1994, now aged 70, Guin had his sentence changed to banishment from Polaris. He retired to the Snowflake Valley Retirement Home and lives with Whoot Smackler Whoot and King Ohzie Ablaze peacefully.


Guin is remembered by historians as a member of a plot rather than the plot itself. However many remember him rather than the others. He is seen as an intelligent but heavily radical penguin who merely supplied and set the timer on the explosives. They debate on whether he was a bad penguin; Polarians see him as a terrorist and a villain but he has often been a romantic charater in books, films and media. Right-wingers see him as a hero whereas he is the bogeyman of Polarians and leftists. Polarian conservatives have mixed views on him, as he was responsible for a major decline in conservatism in Polaris, causing the Conservative faction in the Polaris Democratic Party to almost disappear completely.

Something controversial amongst the liberals in Polaris is the use of torture. Guin remains the only lifeform in Polarian custody to be tortured. At the time, many were ok about it and few expressed any complaints. In later decades, some questioned whether it was right to torture him. ACLUM, on the order of Mabel, attempted to sue Polaris for an apology, as torture was and still is illegal in Polaris, with permission instead granted from the King of the Water Kingdom. The case failed though as Polaris bribed the Judges on all levels. Today, most of Polaris is against torture but despite this, there has been no compensation or apology despite the requirement in Polarian law.

In Polaris the 5th November heralds a special night, known as Guin Faulks Night, also known as Bonfire Night and Fireworks Night. Bonfires are light and fireworks litter the sky. Polarians remember how Guin Faulks tried to blow up parliament. In the olden days, model Guin Faulks would be burned and the Pebble for the Guin tradition was widespread but few remember this aspect. Bonfires are also decreasing and instead it remains a night of fireworks rather than rememberence.

Faulks' is a right-winger, although people have disputed as whether he was a conservative or fascist. Faulks himself says he sees himself 'more radical than a fascist - I don't like the idea of corporatism to be honest but I think a state of authority, hierarchy and order is required. A strong leader who is anti-liberal, anti-democratic and anti-communist, who protects property and expands industrialism and agarianism. A society where people of all classes collaborate together and work towards their loyalty and work to the state. Call it national syndicalism or whatever but that is my idea of how it should be run'. Some say that he is an Inperialist after his books Imperialism: Why it works and An Imperialist Antarctica but Faulks is moderate on the issue.


  • Guin Faulks: Who the heck am I and why am I in frickin jail? (1963)
  • Polaris: A Dying City (1968)
  • Order or Anarchy (1975)
  • A History of Polaris - from the Golden Age (1914 - 1945) to the Dark Ages (1945 - Present) (1979)
  • Fascism: A Model Government (1984)
  • Imperialism: Why It Works (1991)
  • The Evolution of Liberalism - A Failure from the START! (1996)
  • The USA: A March to Conservatism (2001)
  • An Imperialist Antarctica (2004)
  • Polaris: My Way (2006)
  • Guin Faulks: The Updated Autobiography (2009)
  • The Polarian Empire - A Hypothetical Scenario of a Dystopian Antarctica (2011)


  • He is a parody of Guy Fawkes.
  • His ideology is based upon Falangism.
  • The real life Guy Fawkes wanted to blow up Parliament in 1605 to depose James I as he persecuted Catholics. However for the parody it was changed to blowing up the Polaris City Council in a counter-revolution against liberalism to restore conservatism, in order to avoid any offensive material.
  • Alexander Jackson is based on Andrew Jackson, Thomas Winter on Thomas Wintour, Robert Seasil on Robert Cecil and Roberto Cassano on Robert Catesby.