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I love fixing things!
— HandyWalrus

Lang "Old" Walrus
Need a handyman?
Title HandyWalrus
Gender Male
Race Walrus
Faction Evil Handywalrus
Health 500+
Level 250+
Status Being the Walrus Crime Ring's handywalrus
Location Walrus Crime Ring HQ
Birth date April 4, 1987 (1987-16-04) (age 31)
Occupation Being a handyman
Interests Breaking & fixing stuff
Friends Other members of the Walrus Crime Ring
Enemies Banished members of the Walrus Crime Ring, penguins
Archetype Reformed to evil

HandyWalrus (real name Lang "Old" Walrus, nicknamed DatWalrusNamedLang) is the brother of WalrusWithAnOverlyLongTitleThatNeverEnds (also known as David "Lie" Walrus, WalrusWithLongTitle or simply WWAOLTTNE), and is the handyman of the Walrus Crime Ring. His parents are TheWalrusNamedJohn (banished) and TheWalrusIsCalledNina, who are two kind walruses. Because of their uncanny resemblance, there are theories that HandyWalrus is a twin of WWAOLTTNE, and the creatures that believe this theory backs it up by stating that they were also born on the same day and hour, which is true. However, their parents deny this by saying that their hobby and personality are completely different, and said that if they were twins they would probably have the same traits as each other.

He was previously a good walrus just like WWAOLTTNE, but when he discovered that his brother sailed to Antarctica to join a crime ring, he also jumped into a boat (also destined to be destroyed the next day), and tried to join him. When he didn't find him, however, he earned a job as a doctor, and when he joined the Walrus Crime Ring three days later (helped with a walrus spy), he slowly reformed to an evil, handy Staff Member who fixed (and destroyed) things and annoyed other creatures.


Early Life[edit]

Lang, along with his brother Daveed, was born on April 4th, in 1987 (in a place named the "Arctic") to TheWalrusNamedJohn and TheWalrusIsCalledNina. He and his brother had a normal life with his parents, which consisted of enjoying fish, playing games and sleeping for many hours, which they both enjoyed. However, when they were both 9, Daveed became bored of his simple life, but as Lang was too busy eating fish and sleeping, he was completely unaware that his brother was tired of the simple life Lang enjoyed. The years flew by, and one day, when Daveed and Lang were 20, Daveed first heard of the Walrus (leader), and that other of his kind were sailing to a place called "Antarctica". One night, when Lang and his parents were sleeping, he left a message on his bed and left the cavern silently. When Lang and his parents woke up the next day, his parents were first to read the message, and were despaired. When the message was passed onto Lang, he read aloud -

Dear family,
I have gone out to a place called "Antarctica" to join another walrus named "Walrus (leader)".
I will come back next month.
Thinking of you,
Daveed "Lie" Walrus.

Lang raised his parents' hope on his brother's return, and encouraged them to wait for one month. A month and two weeks passed, and Daveed still didn't return. Worried about his brother's safety, he left his house in an attempt to rescue him, and as soon as he reached a port, he hijacked a small fishing boat (destined to the destroyed the next day), and sailed off, to the new land named "Antarctica". During the days at sea, he would play cards with himself, draw still-lifes of the ocean and would either sing made-up songs or traditional walrus songs. Unlike his brother, he was illiterate, and because of this, he never wrote any poems, simply because he couldn't write either. He survived on plankton, seaweed, and the occasional careless fish curious at what he was. However, strong winds blew him off-course, and one month later, he was very near Club Penguin, but a strong wind blew him (very far) back into the Yowien Sea, and having not bought a map from another walrus, he was sure that he was lost. Finally, he crashed onto the shores of the Maps Union, and was knocked unconscious for one hour. When he woke up, he saw a penguin staring at his tusks. When he began getting up, however, the penguin screamed and ran away, only to return with a group of 5 policepenguins a few minutes later. The penguins spotted Lang carrying his boat on his head, and began chasing him until midday, when the penguins decided to give up chasing the walrus until tomorrow. Lang was given some time to hide, and he soon found a cave near the sea, suited to his habitat. He found some three-day-old fish inside, which he gladly ate. He now had to think about fixing the boat to go to Antarctica, and began work.

He used all of the wood he would be able to find near the area, and after two weeks the boat was successfully repaired. During his hunt for wood, however, he was spotted by multiple penguins (sometimes policepenguins), but thanks to his poor diet and loss of weight, he was able to quickly waddle away and hide in a large bush, or the occasional tree. One night, when he knew it was safe to exit the cave, he pushed his boat out to the shores and quietly sailed away. Thanks to strong winds, he reached Antarctica in only 1 week. He celebrated when he reached the Dock, and after stealing some pizzas for lunch, he began searching for the Walrus (leader). However, he realised that he was running out of money, and soon applied to be a doctor. Coincidently, the Lighthouse happened to have been transformed into a hospital, once again. He soon learned to read and write, and was the first doctor to be a walrus in the Lighthouse.

Later Life[edit]

Because he was a novice, he was commanded to do check-ups on puffles. He would almost always drop the puffles, but because he was good with X-rays, he was given the task of X-raying penguins. He would pull the switch too early most of the time, but had an acceptable skill about it. Suddenly, on his second day, the chief doctor noticed that Lang was a walrus, and thinking that he might be a spy from the Walrus Crime Ring, he commanded Lang to go into his room, and secretly plotted to put on It's Snowing Anthrax when he was inside. When he turned on his radio with the CD in it, Lang was puzzled at why the song was there, and what the meaning was. The doctor tried many times to explain its purpose and why it was there, but because he (as well as Lang) didn't really understand it, he gave up his belief that Lang was a spy.

On his 3rd day there, a walrus from the Walrus Crime Ring sneaked in, and said that he was given a secret task, which was to follow him. He resigned his position as a doctor, and began following the mysterious walrus. It took one day to reach the place where the walrus wanted him to go, and finally they arrived at a secret warehouse full of walruses. He was taken to Walrus (leader), and was told why he was here. The Mighty Tusk King told him that one of his members heard of another walrus that wasn't in his crime ring, and he sent one of his comrades to find him. It was soon revealed that he was a replacement walrus after his brother's escape, and after being told this he was then locked in the Store Room, and slept there until the next day.

Current Life[edit]

When he woke up the next day, his first assignment was to clean up the junk the other walruses left behind. Because he was the type of rebellious walrus who is searching for their lost brother, he was forced to do his job, and because of his behavior he was hen given the nickname "DatWalrusNamedLang", which he hated. When he was about to pick up his first piece of rubbish on his second week there, however, there was a power cut and because there was no walrus electrician, all the walruses began panicking. Lang had a sudden urge to leap into action, and went up to the roof. When he was there, he fixed the wires and restored the light and the computers. He was then taken quite seriously from that point on, and his status was changed to "Staff: Tidier" to "Staff: Handyman". He was shocked when he heard of his change of position, as he was always badly treated. His registered name was then changed to "HandyWalrus", and from that day on he began being called that.

Over time, he began to get used to his work as a handyman, as well as his name. He also slowly began to like the plans of the Walrus Crime Ring, meaning that he was steadily becoming evil. By the next year (2008), he had completely reformed and had evil thoughts in his head every hour. Sometimes, he began recommending plans to the Walrus (leader), but only a quarter were accepted. He was a major idea-contributor in the plan for one of the walruses' major looting plan from the Gift Shop's bank, and was given the most attention during the entire week, before and after. In mid-2008, he discovered that not only he was a good handy, he was also a professional destroyer, and could annoy penguins and walruses about to be banished like this. When he broke the news to the other walruses, he was temporarily given an additional ranking as a "Henchman", but because he usually didn't have time to destroy items he was taken the extra ranking away, and stayed as a "Support Staff" member.

He is currently living a good life in the Walrus Warehouse, and because of his importance there he is delivered food by a trusty servant, whose name is Sevant. Every day, he is called to fix something and at least once a week he has to fix one broken computer, two broken tables and seven broken metal plates. He has completely forgotten the purpose of his journey to Antarctica, and has also forgotten his brother as well, presumably because of his good life there. He can't stand not fixing something in an entire day, and if nobody needs him before dinnertime, he usually destroys one of the unused computers in the Storage Room, and then fixes them as if it wasn't broken by him. This puzzles the other walruses who don't know much about him, as they believe that he wastes time by destroying something and then fixing it as soon as he's finished. The other, more older members of the Crime Ring who have many acquaintances with him, however, know exactly of his purpose.


He is the only handyman in the Walrus Crime Ring, and is a vital member of the gang. He fixes everything - from broken plates to pens that ran out of ink, to torn pieces of paper to broken calculators, and most importantly - devices that use electricity, such as computers and televisions. Nobody knows how he can manage to fix everything, but he still can do it. He is probably the only walrus in the universe that can fix almost everything, and if he cannot be found when he is desperately needed, chaos may happen. Sometimes, he fixes items to other creatures that need it, as a reminder of his naïve and anti-evil past. He rarely fixes things for penguins however, or he would be sacked from the Walrus Crime Ring. He receives a good salary, and because he never uses money he is given food as payment, much like WalrusWhoFindsMoneyInOddPlaces receives metals and the occasional credit card for payment. Because he is very busy being needed all the time, he has hardly ever turned up in any important event. Otherwise, he would probably get himself sued for being called but not coming, which he worries about everyday as he has no money.


  • "Eh, nice..." - HandyWalrus's opinion on It's Snowing Anthrax, when he was a doctor
  • "Need a handyman?"
  • "Sorry, can't come to that event. Maybe next time." - HandyWalrus's usual reply, when asked to come to an event.
  • "Hey look, it's Mabel!"
  • "So, do you need a handyman?"
  • "It's ok, I can fix it myself."
  • "I don't need help."
  • "I am a professional handyman, you know!"
  • "Handyman to the rescue!"
  • "So, you need me eh?"
  • "If you want to I could destroy that jug for you..."
  • "What do you mean, 'handymen can't break things'?"
  • "So, do you need a destroyer or not?"
  • "I can see why!"
  • "Sorry, going to that event. Will fix/destroy that in an hour's time." - HandyWalrus's reply, when he goes to an event and somebody needs him.
  • "I love fixing things!" - His catchphrase.
  • "BOO!"
  • "If ya want, I could destroy and fix that computer for you!
  • "So, where is this broken item I can fix?"
  • "Trust me, I can fix anything and everything!"
  • "On it!"
  • "That computer is now ready to ROCK!"


HandyWalrus: So, do you need me to fix something?
Walrus: Yes! Fix my computer, please!
HandyWalrus: On it!
(HandyWalrus literally takes 1 minute to fix the computer, and when he finished the computer is "ready to ROCK!".)
Walrus: Thanks!
HandyWalrus: No problemo!

To-Do List[edit]

Usually, only two walruses are allowed to see his to-do list - Walrus (leader), and of course, himself. However, sometimes a plain henchman/staff member manages to read his list when he isn't there, but they usually get caught after trying to escape his hammock, or by getting screamed at and hit with a spanner. Rarely, a walrus can note down the entire list without being caught. These walruses are usually ninja-like, and can leave silently, or have a large memory and as soon as these kind of walruses get their flippers on a pen and notebook they can note down the entire list using their memory.

Updated as of 9 of July, 2017 -

  • Keep a steady supply of spanners
  • Find computers that need fixing
  • Look for butterflies
  • Catch walruses spying on my to-do list
  • Destroy something
  • Give plans to the Mighty Tusk King
  • Eat a pancake
  • Sniff flowers
  • Discover about Fudd
  • Annoy Mabel
  • Make a small garden in a flower-pot
  • Find an evil penguin
  • Tame a Walrus Puffle
  • Read the instruction manual for all computers
  • Fold a thousand origami cranes
  • Knit a little hat for my best spanner
  • Fold an origami walrus for the Mighty Tusk King
  • Get my blue belt

As we can read, HandyWalrus can be considered quite girly at times. We can also see some of his hidden talents, such as training to be a Ninja and folding origami animals.


  • Not only does he fix and destroy things, but to annoy his victims he repeats stuff too!
  • Like his brother's ridiculous name, he earned his nickname "DatWalrusNamedLang" as a form of ridicule.
  • To take revenge on those who laughed at him, he either dropped jars on them or used his unique "HandyWalrus Way" (e.g. breaking glass in front of their path and making them accidently step on the jagged pieces)
  • He is a specialist computer-fixer.
  • He is unaware that he arrived at the Walrus Warehouse one day after his brother Daveed escaped the warehouse.
  • Daveed came back (only to be banished completely) when Lang was busy having his nap and rest, from his tidying duties.
  • He is one of the only walruses that train to be a ninja.
  • He currently owns 9 Water Power Cards, 6 Fire Power Cards and 10 Snow Power Cards. Nobody knows where he got them from.
  • He is also good at kicking, ninja-style.

See Also[edit]