HazMat Commission

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HazMat Commission
[[File:|250px]]
Information
Type Commission/Code
Effects Controls HazMat ratings, classes, and legality.
Source South Pole Council
Location Big Fat Building O' Archives
Cost to buy Priceless
Cost to sell Priceless



The HazMat Commission, also known as the Poison Code and labeled as Bill HZ1337, was a document signed into law in mid-2008, dictating the legality, classes, and ratings of various HazMats -- Hazardous Materials. It also covers more complex items of possible danger. The HazMat Commission is one of the many important laws in Antarctica.

Full Text[edit]

FEDERAL LAW:
1337 BILL #HZ1337 REGARDING THE LEGALITY AND DANGER LEVELS OF HAZARDOUS MATERIALS AND ITEMS AS DRAFTED BY THE PWNSOME SOUTH POLE COUNCIL AUGUST 13TH, 2008.

HAZMAT COMMISSION
A Resolution to Improve the Safety and Handling of Dangerous Items in Antarctica.

Article One: Reasons to Neccesitate This Law[edit]

  • The South Pole Council:
ACKNOWLEDING the dangers of hazardous materials,
RECOGNIZING that there needs to be a standard to regulate the sale, production, distribution, and existance of these materials,
NOTING that villains may get their appendages on it,
and AWARE that federal laws are of the highest order of PWNage (excepting Bugzy, who is PWNsome to the degree that we are not able to classify him into an order of PWNage), 'nuff said,


HEREBY PROPOSES THE FOLLOWING BILL.


Article Two: Explanation[edit]

AS SUCH, the South Pole Council hereby enacts a ranking system of danger levels and legality of various hazmats and dangerous items (e.g., weapons) to ensure the safety of the public. This law is a federal law and thus applies to all states and jurisdictions belonging to the USA.

The federal, district, or municipal governments may give permission to individuals or groups of individuals to acquire and possess such hazmats or dangerous items. These governments also hold the power to restrict ownership and/or usage of such hazmats or dangerous items.

The aforementioned ranking system is fully detailed in Article Three.

Article Three: The HazMat Code - Levels of Danger[edit]

This article hereby establishes the levels of danger used in the HazMat Ranking Code.

Section 1: Grade A Items[edit]

Grade A Items are substances that pose a high risk to one's physical health, existence, or mental well being. Short exposure to Grade A Items almost definitely results in chronic (i.e., long-lasting to permanent) incapacitation (i.e., a state of being unable to do anything about anything).


Creatures exposed to Grade A Items should be immediately rushed to the nearest hospital or place of curing. They cannot be discharged in less than one month after arriving.


Grade A Items may be deemed Non-Tradeable, meaning that purchase or selling of such items without permission is against the law. They may also be deemed Illegal, meaning that ownership, purchase, or selling of such items without federal permission is against the law.


Only the federal government may rank an item to Grade A Status or demote a Grade A Items to a lower status.


Section 2: Grade B Items[edit]

Grade B Items are substances that pose a risk to one's physical health or mental wellbeing. Short-, medium-, or long-term exposure to Grade B Items may result in temporary or chronic physical/mental damage or incapacitation.


Creatures exposed to Grade B Items may be rushed to the hospital unless there is an immediately available cure for the effects of the Grade B Item.


Grade B Items may be demoted to a lower status by the federal and district governments, but can be upgraded to Grade A Status by the federal governments only.


Section 3: Grade C Items[edit]

Grade C Items are substances that pose some risk to one's physical health or mental wellbeing. Medium- to long-term exposure to Grade C Items may result in temporary physical/mental damage or (rarely) incapacitation.


Creatures exposed to Grade C Items should be quickly taken to a clinic or given an immediately available and Department-of-Health-approved cure as soon as possible. They can be rushed to the hospital if and only if there is no immediately available cure for the effects of the Grade C Item.


Grade C Items may be stripped of HazMat Status by the federal, district, or municipal governments, but can be upgraded to Grade B Status by only the federal and district governments.


Section 4: Grade G[edit]

Grade G (G for "General Audience") items are normally harmless with few effects, if any, and can be handled by most creatures. Grade G items can be promoted to Grade C by any government level, but must be approved by the federal or district level for further upgrades.

By default, and unless marked, every item is marked G.


Article Four: The HazMat Code - Types of HazMats[edit]

  • Explosives - Substances that can easily deflagrate (burn) or detonate (explode); denoted by an E.
  • Acids - Substances that can corrode and burn through objects; denoted by a C. Requires a pH lower than 2 to be able to have this type applied.
  • Alkali - Similar to the Acid type, only for this it requires a pH higher than 12 to have the type applied to it; denoted by AL
  • Asphyxiants - Substances that replace oxygen and can choke or suffocate a victim if they breathe too much of it; denoted by an A.
  • Hallucinogens - Substances that cause the victim to hallucinate; denoted by an H.
  • Toxins - Organic substances that attack the victim through biochemical processes; denoted by T.
  • Synthetic Toxins - Inorganic substances that attack the victim through biochemical processes; denoted by ST. Includes medication.
  • Weapon - Item intended and designed for use in warfare; denoted by W.
    • Biological Weapon - Pathogens modified to become weapons; denoted by BW.

Article Five: The HazMat Code - Legality Notations[edit]

  • No Perm / No Prereq - No prerequisites or permission required for possession or usage.
  • NT - Non-tradeable, see Article 3, Section 1.
  • I - Illegal, the name is self-explanatory.
  • MP - Municipal permission required for possession or usage.
  • DP - District permission required for possession or usage.
  • FP - Federal Permission required for possession or usage.
  • PWN - Official License to PWN required for possession or usage.
  • ARMY - Membership of an Army, such as the Nachos or ACP, required for possession or usage.
  • PSA - Agent Status required for possession or usage.
  • EPF - EPF Agent Status required for possession or usage.
  • AIA - Membership in the AIA required for possession or usage.
  • GOV - Important government position required for possession or usage. (You can also be trusted by the government, like Gary and his family, to qualify for GOV status.)
  • BoF - Membership of the Bureau of Fiction required for possession or usage.
  • UBER - Master of the Universe status required for possession or usage.
  • WOT - The Current Narrator's permission is required for possesion or usage.

Legality Notations can be combined with either a slash (/) or an ampersand (&). Notations combined by a slash show that you need to qualify for one prereq or the other in order to possess or use the HazMat in question, and notations combined by an ampersand show that you need to qualify for BOTH prereqs in order to possess or use the HazMat in question. (Example: "PSA/PWN" would mean that you need to either be an agent or have an official License to PWN to use or possess the HazMat in question. "PSA & PWN" would mean that you need to be an agent AND have an official License to PWN to use or possess the HazMat in question.)

The "Hi" prefix can be added to a notation requiring membership of a group to show that you need to have a high ranking position within that group to possess or use the HazMat in question. (Example: "HiARMY" would mean that you would need to have a high-ranking position within an Army to use or possess the HazMat in question.)

"Nix {insert name of group here}" can be added in parentheses to show that the prereq does not apply to members of that group. (Example: "AIA (Nix BoF)" would mean that unless you are a member of the Bureau of Fiction, you need to be a member of the AIA to use or possess the HazMat in question.)

In addition, the "[Legal Notation (optional)]Specif {Insert people or creature(s) here} tag can also be added, in parentheses, to denote that the creature's in the "{}" need whatever is in the "[]" tag. No Perm/No Prereq in the [] means that the creature in the {} is excluded from any other Legal Notations in the classification.

CONCLUSION[edit]

ENACTED BY THE SOUTH POLE GRAND KRYTOCRIC LEGISLATURE,
THIS THIRTEENTH DAY OF NOVEMBER, YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND NINE.

{signatures of delegates who voted Yay}
{signature of Chief Justice}

Trivia[edit]

  • The HazMat Commission, most ironically, is stored in a vat of Ditto A (a Grade B Synthetic Toxin) for preservation.
  • On this scale, Professor Shroomsky's toxin (you know, the one he naturally produces) is ranked as "Grade B T/H - NT HiAIA/HiGOV/HiPSA/FP - (Nix UBER) (Grade B Toxin/Hallucinogen, Non-Tradable, usable by top-ranking AIA members, high-ranking government, high-ranking Agents, or those with explicit Federal Permission, unless a Master of the Universe)".

See Also[edit]