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OOH EE OOH AH AH OOH AH AH WALLA WALLA BING BANG.
|Faction||Minion of the Walrus Crime Ring|
|Level||OOH EE OOH AH AH TING TANG TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG.|
|Status||Doing some sort of loopy spell.|
Herman Munster is a goofy, random walrus and official Witch Doctor of the Walrus Crime Ring. He can be found in the Walrus Warehouse. He, although not very smart, after many years of trying, has finally been able to practice, one could say, medicine, in a way. He is known for sputtering out gibberish that no one else can understand. He often claims that he will cure walruses/penguins/Walrus Puffles of "BAH PROBLEMS!!!". He is known as Munster for his unnecessary and inefficient ways of healing, but he only does this because he's not smart enough to figure out real, verifiable medicine.
Herman, like most other Walruses, immigrated to Antarctica on a ship. He had always wanted to be a doctor, but lacked the intellectual capacity to practice medicine. He went to the nearest quack doctor, but even selling fake medicine was above his knowledge. Disappointed but not willing to give up, he sailed back home, found and consulted an old book of "COC-abiding spells" and realized he could practice medicine via chants and other inefficient manners of superstition.
After using a useful spell in the book to return to Antarctica, he joined the Walrus Crime Ring as a doctor. His office is now in the aforementioned headquarters. He gives free healthcare to Walrus minions, but charged 1000 coins an hour for good creatures. Soon after joining the WALRI, he realized that all evil creatures in pursuit of hacking and lulz deserve free health care, so he now gives free healthcare to all walri and other hacking, vandalizing, and other wise evil creatures but raised the price and charges 1020 coins an hour for good creatures.
Herman sits in his weirdly-decorated office, waiting for someone with an illness or condition to come in. While the patient explains their condition, Herman would listen, then check one of his many volumes of spell-books to find one that may, or may not (usually not), work. After deciding what will be the right way to cure his patient, he continues with chanting, dancing, and loud music until one of his COC-abiding spells "work", although usually, even when he says they work, they don't, but in rare cases they do. If there is an evil creature and it doesn't want to pay their doctor 50 coins per hour for just a check up, they know its worth it to try Herman's spells. However, his future patients are always warned that, in rarer cases, if his spells do work, the mumbo-jumbo can result in dizziness, drowsiness, vomiting, oversleeping, vulnerability to various types of ditto, weakness, seeing strange green creatures doing jigs around their living room, and other strange side-effects.
- He's known to be very goofy and is a practitioner of the dark art know as "HOBO-GRAMMAR".