Holyberden

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Holyberden, Inc.
Type Conglomerate
Industry Amusement park industry (confirmed), other industries rumored
Founded July 3rd, 2009
Founder(s) Jones Family
Headquarters Unknown (rumored to be CPW), USA
Area served Multinational
Key people TurtleShroom's Family
Services Amusement parks, persecution
Revenue USP; 0.021 million (bi-monthly to date)
Net income USP; 1.021 million (bi-monthly to date)
Owner(s) TurtleShroom (penguin), TurtleShroom's Family
Employees 500 confirmed
Divisions Inquisition (Misc.), TurtleShroom Industries (R&D), TurtleShroom Productions (entertainment)
Subsidiaries GoodyMart, Puff Flags,


Holyberden is a multinational conglomerate corporation that is supposedly the parent company of Puff Flags and a former player in the amusement park industry. Holyberden is the subject of many conspiricies ranging from BOF immunity to shady contracts with various people promising them various rewards for various services.


Official "background"[edit]

Holyberden was founded on July 3rd, 2009, the day that the founder, TurtleShroom (penguin), resigned, Seeing that his reign was collapsing, he decided to invest in the private sector in his spare time. He didn't actually run Holyberden because he was still a public official at the time, and it is illegal for the government to work in a company at the same time. Rather, he had a close friend oversee it for him. When he abdicated in October, he quickly took the leading position in the company that he built and influenced while in power. From there, Holyberden gained influence and prestige, even building a roller coaster out near Yoenah. No, no, the roller coaster is long abandoned, there's nothing to see. In December, Holyberden bought out Puff Flags. That is where we are now.
 
— Holyberden press release


Conspiracy Theories[edit]

Holyberden does much more that anything listed in that whitewashed press release. See, that roller coaster built near Yoenah is the primary headquarters for The Inquisitor, while his second headquarters is that little building behind the Flipper of Deletion in Puff Flags. It was abandoned on purpose and left to decay ON PURPOSE. Nobody expects the Inquisition HQ to be THERE! Look carefully on the way to Yoenah, you'll see the power lines branching off about four-fifths of the way to the village. The roller coaster is that way. Yeah, Moncton's in it, too. He's paid to not talk about the events going on. TurtleShroom obviously took control in Holyberden after he quit his job so that he could make easy money from the investments he made as Dictator.

TSP never speaks about his past, other than the wiki and his first job, because his past involved building up Holyberden and secretly installing the manholes. What manholes, you ask? Next time you go to South Pole Capitol, look in the center of the lobby. You'll see a metal plate. You can't move it, but it's there. Look in Explorer's igloo and TSP's palace, they are there also. In fact, there are manholes in most every federal building, and in Puff Flags. What are those for, you ask? Well, TSP has that uncanny ability to show up whenever you do something bad. He can do that with his manholes. There are hundres of them in the Weekee, after all.
TurtleShroom's control over the amusement park industry is very powerful. Along with his employees, he is able to directly control where the money goes and who gets benefits to come in. He doesn't actively control Puff Flags, oh no, he does it through bureaucrats who secretly edit the documents of the "President". That's right, Clyde, you're not really in control of that park.
TurtleShroom (penguin) actually has the ability to break the Fourth Wall. Yes, yes he does. It isn't registered by the Bureau because of the bribes he and his cronies manage to pull.
You'd be suprised what people will pay to have a good time. In exchange for free lifetime passes and a 10% share of the lucrative stock, Director Benny configured TSP's IP Address to be exempt from the doinkometer readings. Of course, TSP is a low-level breaker, unable to hear voices and unable to fully grasp the concepts, but he has a bit of knowledge on things that are not of this world. In exchange for unlimited food tokens, Benny granted him an access pass to the BOF and built him a manhole that can teleport him into the company. You can find that Manhole in the Surveillence Room, behind the entrance door.
TSP is untrackable because of the secret dealings with various Bureaucrats in the Department of Surveillence. In exchange for lifetime passes and free arcade tokens forever, they granted him immunity from the screens. Mayor McFlapp can't find TSP like he can other creatures.
All of these deals were performed because TurtleShroom, through Holyberden, can do that sort of thing with amusement parks. People do a LOT for free tickets and tokens for arcade games. Turtlenators and Nachos get these benefits becuase TurtleShroom thanks them for their patronage. Ask Corai, he will tell you.
You scratch TurtleShroom's back, TurtleShroom will scratch yours.

 
— Anonymous BOF bureaucrat leak

TSP's response to conspiracies[edit]

I can neither confirm nor deny any of your statements.
 


"Involvement"[edit]

Officially, Holyberden "oversees" Puff Flags and other "investments". For what others claim, see the "Conspiracy Theories".


Budget questions[edit]

Holyberden has never officially released a budget sheet. However, a curious bureaucrat from an anonymous source managed to leak the curious budget sheet found in the Infobox.

If Holyberden supposedly earns "0.21 million" every two months, then how is the total earned every two months a full million above that? Normally, it is impossible for a company to make a total profit without any expense. Is someone or something giving Holyberden extra money? There are many conspiracies about Director Benny getting taxpayer money and using it for his gains, for his family, and for things that "interest" him. Could Benny be involved? It makes sense, because TurtleShroom (penguin) is a Grandmaster of the MMK.


Military curiosities[edit]

There have been reports of suit-wearing penguins down at the military bases of Happyface State. These penguins claim to be from Holyberden and are often seen talking with troops, both soldier and general alike. When queried, the employees respond that they are advertising the "20% military discount for all soldiers in Puff Flags". Conspirists don't buy it. They say that TSP is using military equipment- in exchange for free or discounted Puff Flag offers -to go after fans of the Unnderground Clubb Phengin Weekee, round them up in black vans (while being watched by black helicopters), and punished by The Inquisitor's Inquisition.

Cronies of the Un-CP claim to see black helicopters flying around one of their secret entrances, though they refuse to disclose where. Black vans also appear (alleged to have the TurtleShroom "T" on them) and take Un-CP cronies away for "questioning" by the Inquisition. It is rumored that The Inquisitor is on Holyberden's payroll, and that he and his cause are personally supported by TurtleShroom.

Mercenaries, soldiers and PMC owners have made some comments about these "military claims"

TSP is the owner of a multi-industry company. It is most likely he owns a PMC and didn't bribe the military one bit. These "bribes" are possibly those paid and recruited by the PMC. The PMC might provide free services to and only The Inquisition. If so, he uses the money gained from his "ammusement parks" and most likely kept in Maverick bank. The black helicopters and vans is a way TSP scares UNCPW with his PMC. They do exist but technically it's kidnapping under federal law and TSP should be sitting in pirson.
 

Add quotes made by PMCs, mercenaries and soldiers

One doubt about this fact is that TSP's counterpart in the MMK, Alex12345a, is part of the Unnderground Clubb Phengin Weekee but has not been captured. This could be debated, though, as Alex12345a rarely edits on the wiki. As stated,

No, TurtleShroom won't do that. He's a great guy, honestly, although I've always been curious what he has been doing with that abandoned amusement park at the side of Torn Highway. I don't believe he's going to punish fans like that, as, after all, this doesn't happen in here.
 

Subsidiaries and divisions, known and rumored[edit]




! = owns stock or funds it, but not enough to totally control it.

See also[edit]