Isadore Base Macrosky

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Isadore Base Macrosky
Isadore Base Macrosky image.png
"My technology owns yer fancy miniaturized junk!
Title Ancient Mainframe Operator
Gender Male
Race Dorkugese penguin
Faction Is believed to live in Dorkugal before it was colonized.
Health Falling
Level 01001001001000000110010001110101
01101110011011100110111100101110 ([1])
Status Alive
Location Dorkugese Jungle

Isadore Base Macrosky (or IBM) is the oldest Dorkugese penguin known to exist. He lives in the Dorkugese Jungle, and operates a pre-1950s esque mainframe. It's exact purpose is unknown.

He is also infamous for proclaiming his technology as "superior" to anything available today.



Isadore refuses to share his past.

He always states:
All ya need ta know is that I came before Dorkugal and I ain't leavin' either!

Even if somebody threatens to do something awful to him, he won't give any other of his secrets.

The only other thing known about him is this: retro magazines actually found a motherboard in a South Pole City antique shop that was personally constructed by Isadore. It was said to be the "first personal computer motherboard to be ever built".

Road to Infamy[edit]


IBM is slated to be a major protagonist in Quest for the Golden Waffle.

Explorer and friends consider him extremely annoying.

IBM is also the subject of mockery and a sterotypical figure for "naggy old folks". Remixes of his lectures have been uplaoded online, gaining a total of more than 250 million views. In response, Isadore exclaimed:

Those whipper-snappers are goin' down!




  • IBM: Shut your output! I'm a-talking here!

  • IBM: (to a Focci) Well, you certainly are all 8-bit, aren't ya?


  • IBM (see above): You crazy kids! Get off my mainframe!
    Fred: (in response) ...does he mean "lawn"?
    IBM: My hearing does not compute, sonny. Increase your volume!

  • Fred: How do you work this thing?
    IBM: (senile) I don't tell you how to program your life!

  • IBM: (points to a light bulb-ish item) That there's a vacuum tube. It "PWNS" yer fancy newfangled transistors.
    Explorer: Don't those things blow up daily?
    IBM: No, of course not!
    (a faint explosion is heard)
    IBM: ... then again, they do have a tendency to do things...
    Fred: (overhearing) What happen?
    Explorer: (sarcastically) Someone set us up the bomb.

  • IBM: (to Explorer) You think you've got it so good with yer mice 'n keyboards 'n graphical shells... well, ya don't! Your noob friend can't even use a seventeen line William tube!
    Fred: I am not a noob! Math is my skill, not running a machine with less memory than a floppy disk!
    IBM: Youngin', you are so a noob. Your noob status does not even compute.
    Fred: (angrily) I AM NOT A NOOB!
    IBM: What were we talking about? I lost my file.
    Explorer: Well, that proves the necessity of AutoSave.
    IBM: AutoSave? That's for lazy, cowardly, couch potatoes who can't even read a spreadsheet!

  • IBM: So whippersnapper: ya think yer not a Noob?
    Fred: I am SO not a noob!
    IMB: Okay! Decode this!
    (IBM hands Fred some punch tape)
    The text reads: 0100100100100000011101000110111101101100011001000010000001111001011011110111010100100000011101000110100001100001011101
    (courtesy of this site)
    Fred: ...
    IBM: Oh come on! An abacus could do it, sonny! It's just a simple binary sequence!
    Fred: I give up.
    IBM: That's Binary Code for "I told you that you are a NOOB!" Hee hee hee HAAAHHHH (wheezing sound)!!
    (Explorer overhears. He takes out a shovel and gives IBM a hard smack on the back.)
    IBM: (angrily) OUCH! What was that for, you little whippersnapper?!
    Explorer: 01010100011010000110000101110100001001110111001100100000011001100110111101110010001000000111001101100001011110010110

    (i.e."That's for saying Fred's a noob.")

  • Explorer: (to IBM) Are you sure you're not a noob?
    IBM: Of course not!
    Explorer: Then decode this! (hands IBM a roll of punch tape)
    The text reads: 127150157047163040164150145040156157157142040156157167077
    IBM: (puzzled) This isn't even binary! Argh, what have you given me here, youngin'?!
    (Explorer hands the roll to Fred. When he reads it, Fred starts giggling uncontrollably and walks away smiling, while IBM looks on, baffled.)
    (P.S. The text is in octal (base 8). It reads "Who's the noob now?")

  • Penguin: I have a tape. A SPECIAL TAPE. For you. Here. Take this punch tape.
    (IBM decodes the punch tape) (The text reads: You have the best technology in the whole wide world! )
    IBM: Thank you. You seem to have an interest in punch tape.)


  • Isadore proudly boasts that his clothing are the "oldest known varients of common dorky items".
    • He points out his hat, which he claims is "an ancient form of the modern graduation hat".
    • He speaks of his glasses, which he claims are called Lorgnettes. He also yells at anyone who calls them "opera glasses", or "glasses" in general.
  • In human years, he's the equivalent of ninety one.
  • IBM is highly senile, and uses computer terms in everyday speech, as often as possible.
  • Explorer mockingly calls him "Big Blue", even though IBM doesn't actually wear blue.

See also[edit]