Johnny Tightbeak

Johnny Tightbeak
I ain't sayin' nothin'.
Profile
Title	The anti-squealer
Gender	Male
Race	Adelie Penguin
Faction	He ain't goinna say anythin'.
Health	Not saying, though doctors say he is fine.
Level	0
Status	Not saying anything
Location	Unknown, probably in the UPM's dining room for the King's spaghetti

Johnny Tightbeak is a penguin in the Underground PWN Mafia. He is quite silent, refusing to ever reply to messages. This sometime causes annoyance among his fellow gangsters, but when the PSA come knocking he's the most valued member of the group because, in his words, "he ain't sayin nothin'."

Background

Then he was a chick, he lied to everyone about anything. He was so dishonest that everyone refused to acknowledge his existence. He started to go crazy from lack of acknowledgement, so he decided to never speak again. Still, nobody paid attention to him. In grief, he stop saying things altogether, from email to parties. Getting a job was tough, because his resume was empty, only bearing the phrase "I ain't sayin' nothin'." He tried to apply the UPM later. After much consideration, the UPM allowed him because he could not tell the PSA anything if he was caught. He now smuggles all sorts of stuff into the USA.

Involvement

Being a gangster in the UPM is tough, so on vacation leave times, he opens a lemonade stand, though he never tells the ingredients to it, nor the price.

Trivia

• He is a parody of the Johnny Tightlips character in Fat Tony's mob from The Simpsons.

See also

• Bugzy