Joseph Yslenski

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Joseph Matthew Yslenski
Official Portrait of Joseph Yslenski
Title President of Munijoch
Gender Male
Race Emperor Penguin
Faction Good, Neutral
Health Excellent
Level Governmental President of Munijoch
Status Alive
Location City of Progress, Munijoch
Birth date November 5th, 1982 (35)
Occupation President of Munijoch
Interests Fair democracy, technology, science
Friends Council, Eric Slavistoski, Sage Munijoch, Maria Yslenski
Enemies WhiteBlood, evil
Archetype Protagonist

Speaker.png Click here to listen to Joseph Yslenski's theme!

For the Glory of Munijoch!
— Joseph Yslenski

Joseph Matthew Yslenski was the former President of Munijoch, and currently presides over the Malkov Reformists party. Instated as President following Victor Malkov's removal from office, he held the office for over three years until he declined to run again for a new term, thereby opening the election, declining to endorse a candidate until The Globalist entered the race. He is the husband of Maria Yslenski, the only President to have one, and the father of Matthew Yslenski. In addition to this, he is also the illusive Triago, a rogue member of the infamous Munijoch Vanguard Force-based Squadron E. Politically centrist but socially progressive, Joseph was loved by all for his straightforward approach and dedication to the people.

Born during a tumultuous time in Munijoch's history, Joseph was raised by his parents to be the perfect, obedient kid, despite hiding a terrible secret inside that plagued his family for generations. In spite of this, Joseph never got the attention he so desperately wanted, primarily due to his father's involvement with the WhiteBloods at the time in preparation for his ascension to the position of Omnipotent Blood. At the age of 12, Joseph was sent to the WhiteBlood military camp where 6 years later, inadvertently, he was misguided into thinking his parents were kidnapped. The unexpected consequence was that, in a fit of rage, destroyed a good portion of the barracks, which got the attention of the democratic rebellion leader Victor Malkov, who saw great potential in Joseph.


Joseph's entire life has been shrouded in uncertainty from his parents, his peers, and his parental figures at the time. Much, even to him, is shrouded in the back of his head, but thanks to the recollection technology of Munijoch, we know much about his life.

Early Years[edit]

Born to a group of well-to-do people, Joseph's life was primarily spent learning trying to get his studies done as quickly as possible to play in the green fields that surrounded his house, which was a typical two story house on the outskirts of the City of Progress. His mother, then a simple stay-at-home mom, raised him on the beliefs of fighting for what was right in the world, to question everything, and above all, be true to yourself. His father, meanwhile, a famous architect and engineer, spent the majority of his time doing city work, as well as researching more into his family's "gift," as he referred to it. Joseph, oblivious to the amount of time his father spent "in the city," instead began to look more and more to his mother for support.

When he was 3, his father announced he got a "promotion," and that the family would be moving, effective immediately, to a large estate within the city that he just so happened to buy then and there. Oblivious, Joseph moved with his dad and mother to the estate, which was noticeably larger than any of the surrounding houses. As a token of celebration, his mother bought Joseph a little plastic saxophone, complete with music, to practice on.

Young Childhood[edit]

At the age of 6, Joseph was enrolled into a special academy within the City of Progress, called the Young Elite's School for the Mind and the Arts, one of the most prestigious schools in the country. There, Joseph learned the properties of mathematics in the sciences, along with etiquette, a strong vocabulary base, even more music, and technology. He became fascinated, however, with military planning, specifically in strategy, primarily due to an exercise the students did while covering a lesson on military battles across Antarctica. Time and time again, Joseph crushed the other students' battle plans with his, leading his teachers to rededicate his education more to the art of war.

From there on out, Joseph was trained in all things war. His curriculum consisted of more strategy sessions, studying troop movements, war plans, and learning about the inner workings of an army. In addition, Joseph got hands on training with tanks and other military vehicles. By the time he was 12, Joseph was sent to a WhiteBlood military camp, courtesy of both his parents and the government, to complete his training and be appointed as a strategist.

Teenager Years[edit]

When Joseph was 13, he quickly realized how different war was compared to other professions that are out there. For starters, soldiers had to endure incredibly rigorous exercises, training sessions for weaponry and vehicles, and endured sessions designed to increase your endurance through means that may be unnecessary, like running all night. While Joseph was beginning to tire of this, he realized that his training would pay off when he becomes a chief strategist for the army. Most army officers referred to Joseph as "sir," which Joseph certainly found odd. Rather than ask, Joseph kept training, and by 18, he was officially in the age requirements to graduate to the next stage of his training: Military Strategy School, a less intensive school focusing on strategy more than sheer physical training.

While Joseph was walking to the exit towards the car that would take him to Centrallica for the school, Joseph saw his parents, looking proud and even cracking a small grin on their faces. Overjoyed, Joseph began to run to them, only to see mysterious, cloaked figures whisk them away into a nearby cellar. Joseph tried to run after them, but by time he got to the door, they were seemingly welded shut. Just when things couldn't get worse, he heard two gun shots. Fearing them dead, Joseph got incredibly distraught. Shock turned to sadness, sadness to confusion, confusion to anger, anger to rage, and rage to strength. In that moment, Joseph's family "gift" was unleashed, and in his anger, destroyed a major portion of the barracks.

After the dust settled, another figure emerged from the debris cloud, cloaked in a dark green cloak and wearing a military uniform. He introduced himself as Victor Malkov, a figure with a certain interest in establishing relations with Joseph, and that he could help Joseph get his parents back. Interested in the offer, Joseph and Victor walked off together into the forest nearby on their long trek back to Mt. Vespa City.

Rebellion Years[edit]

After disclosing to Victor his identity, and some details pertaining to his personal life, Joseph and Victor worked side by side in the efforts to take back the capital of Munijoch, the City of Progress, and in turn, end WhiteBlood occupation in the country. Early on in the war, however, Joseph quickly found that the troops were almost incapable of completing mass military efforts due to the heavy WhiteBlood presence in the locations that they were attempting to invade. In an effort to fix this, Joseph and Victor created Squadron E, an elite death squad with the purpose of getting into an area and out fast and as destructive (yet silent) as possible. When the soldiers found an inspiration for them to fight, thanks to Squadron E, they began to win more battles, and the war was eventually won thirteen years later.

Joseph was appointed the chief ambassador for Munijoch, since Victor realized that Joseph would not want to be fighting anymore battles, or really do anything violent. Meanwhile, however, Victor became corrupted by WhiteBlood sleeper agents within their ranks, becoming a ticking time bomb for him to betray and bring down the government he created.

Rise in Power[edit]

When Joseph found out of Victor's (literal) corruption, he took it upon himself to expose Victor and save the government from potential implosion. He cornered Victor one day and asked if his boss was supplementing his income well. Shocked, Victor tried to fight Joseph, only to be cornered by the same Munijoch Vanguard Force soldiers he fought alongside with. Scared for his life, Victor conjured up a portal to an unknown location, escaping from a potentially inevitable faith. With Victor gone and no one to take his place, the Council of Powers nominated Joseph to be the President. After a quick election to confirm this, Joseph became President, along with his new wife Maria Yslenski as the First Lady.

Frosian War[edit]

Joseph was kidnapped during the start of the Frosian War and replaced by Isaac Juggernaut until further notice. He was released during the end of May, long after the war was over. He immediately resumed duties and even created a bill for the Munijoch Galactic Association. Likewise, he carried out his term in relative peace, making not of several economic advancements made in part thanks to the policies he had made, along with contributions from The Axle Powers, of which he was "deeply thankful for." When he decided to retire, he chose his close friend and political ally, The Globalist, as his successor, formally endorsing him about one month before the elections took place. Many speculate that was why he won, but Joseph attributes it to his qualifications more than anything.

Present Day[edit]

Today, Joseph lives in relative comfort with his wife, Maria, in their house in the City of Progress. He has taken up several consulting roles for the government, mostly serving in the interest of management and catastrophe avoidance. The press, however, have begun to dig deeper into his ties with the notorious Gold Bug Society, as well as his connections with the intelligence agency SI:9. Despite the intense scrutiny, he remains a generally liked retired President, and has frequently posed for pictures with others out of sheer love for his country. There have been calls for him to resume his presidency by all of his supporters due to the recent controversies taking place internally. Joseph denies this will happen, but he doesn't deny his interest in coming back to his position.


On the outside, Joseph is a cold, calculating president, possessing intriguing, deep brown eyes that seethe with hatred for the world and its atrocities brought onto him from his childhood. Sometimes, his eyes flicker into a deep red, indicating he's exerting control over his special powers.

Once you get to know him, however, you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone of hatred or calculation. Rather, a fun, sweet, and lovable figure whom possesses a knack for comedy and humor at all the wrong times. He possesses a peaceful, mystic standpoint, frequenting a meditation room for his personal studies on Munian spirituality.


Joseph is a tall, well-built penguin with sleek jet-black hair and is black colored, with a deep, dark shade of brown eyes, sometimes flickering dark red. He is commonly wearing a suit, or is wearing a coat. He always has a silver watch and a multitude of cuff links. He believes in keeping a classy appearance in public, and then keeping it relaxed and simple while in private. This is reflected in the multitudes of turtlenecks and quarter-zips that he owns. Despite this, he does not like hoodies, saying that "if you pull a string, it's all ruined!"

When Battling[edit]

Joseph, being ex-military, has knowledge in combat and can battle with flare, fanfare, and accuracy. He pin points the target's points of exposure and uses them to his advantage. In addition, he uses repetitive tactics to his advantage to let the enemy get used to their ways, and apply deadly force. Even though he is quite zen-like, he is a ticking time bomb of aggression and aggravation. He tends to overpower opponents relatively quickly thanks to this, making his fights short, sweet, and painful.

Strengths and Weaknesses[edit]


  • Assassin skills- He was trained to hunt and kill.
  • Knowledge of almost every machine- As a Munijoch resident, they are educated heavily in Science and Technology.
  • Inventory of Weapons and Gadgets- To simply put, being President has some sweet perks.


  • Able to be swayed to guilt easy- Other than being Triago, he is able to be put into a guilty position quite easily.
  • Over-Confident- Confidence is key, but in small amounts.


  • Joseph loves rock and classical music.
  • Joseph can play multiple instruments.
  • His favorite colors are red and black.
  • He despises WhiteBloods.
  • He has been trained in the ways of Sage-arts, which focuses on the spirit of the land, and its tales.
  • He is a heavy-sleeper.


  • "What is there to fight for, other than our lives? Everyone."
  • "Persistence is key."
  • "Go on... try me..."
  • "Retribution!"
  • "For the Glory of Munijoch! Death to the WhiteBloods!"
  • "No free pizza? I should make that a law..."
  • "You aren't going to like me when I'm angry, son."
  • "We have the power to change our destiny."

See also[edit]