Keziah

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Aunt Keziah Matisse Smith
Crazy Aunt Keziah.PNG
Pencils.
Profile
Title Keziah
Gender Female
Race Gentoo Penguin
Faction Smith
Health Decent
Level 36
Status Alive
Location South Pole City
Occupation Writing up comics, working on a cartoon for television networks, biting the eraser of her pencil.
Interests Drawing, writing, animation.
Friends James the Pseudocidal Maniac,
Her niece Agent Meltie and her nephew Phineas34720
Enemies Rocket Slug
Archetype Not very nice


Aunt Keziah Matisse Smith, or Keziah Smith is a South-Polian comic writer and animator, and James' only real-world friend, but with a cold, snarky, morbid, and sometimes insulting "friend" like her, who needs enemies?

Her work is immensely praised by certain niches and cliques in society, and burnt openly in others. Her work is divisive to say the least. The censors of Antarctica regard her as "Vice Effeminate". As one worded it: "Sixty years suppressing, never have I seen a female so dark in deed, and the fact that she transcribes her evils onto paper makes none more evil in my eyes.". The others, meanwhile, champion her morbid produtions as "coragous expression of the freedom of speech" in a land "entrenched by the wrath of conservatism".


Background[edit]

Her background, according to her, was dark, scary, and horrible. (This being said, she never goes beyond that, so she was probably making it up.) She was not afraid of most things, enjoyed the "arts" of torture (a lesson she soon learned: "never use your sister as a dartboard"), and loved the color red. Crimson, scarlet, or blood red, it didn't matter to Keziah, as long as that's what she was wearing, she was happy. She soon dyed her hair that color because she wanted to stand out in her middle-school years. She later had it changed back to black and wore it in fashion as well. Her reasoning was that black was the color of death.

She became an artist, first starting out with art trades and drawing for money on penguinART, a popular art website; drawing requests from kids at school and in the neighborhood, and just creating her own dark and insane characters on a whim. Her first comic book was written when she was 32, based on her neighbor, Sye, and his family, who she watched every day out her house window. She seemed a bit like a stalker to the Grimoms, with her untamed hair and her evil glares and smirks.

Appearance[edit]

If beauty were a competition, Keziah would be winning. She has perfect dark feathers, and long, silky black hair (or is it red? Well, sometimes it is, but...). Her vision is pretty bad, explaining her glasses. She never smiles, except for in cases of revenge and seeing others' pain. She is, without question, sadistic.

Her voice is like a pool of butter to some guys, strong yet cute and flirty, but once they get to know her, they'll wish they crawled into a sewer and never came back until she was dead. She uses this to get her way and step on others.

Involvement[edit]

This thirty six year-old creep is often found drawing/giggling maniacally in her basement, or spying on the neighbors. She often goes up to various television networks, trying to create a cartoon, but they think she's too "scary" to do so. (Those that took the leap of doom in sponsoring her work sometimes found themselves in a lot of trouble.)

Her controversial work continues to sell well, in spite, and maybe because of, the swamp of criticism and protest.

The right wing's opinion[edit]

Sixty years suppressing, never have I seen a female so dark in deed, and the fact that she transcribes her evils onto paper makes none more evil in my eyes.

Mattress Village Board of Censors concurrent resolution of condemnation[edit]

IN THE MATTRESS VILLAGE BOARD OF CENSORS
BOARD CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 57

A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION
STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND ISSUING THE MOST EXPRESSED CONDEMNATION AND UTTER DISDAIN FOR THE DARK AND MORBID PRODUCTIONS OF MISS KEZIAH MATISSE SMITH AND HER UNCLEAN VARIATION OF EVIL MEDIA AND LITERATURE



BE IT RESOLVED by the Mattress Village Board of Censors,
Acting by the Grace and Permission of the Sky Programmers On High:

  • WHEREAS, the dark and unclean nature has reached the hallowed halls of the Board, by word of beak and by witnesses from a friend of a friend of one who knows the Censor for Life, TurtleShroom Jones, and by nineteen direct, sworn affirmations from the youthful Board of Raters,
  • WHEREAS, the works of Keziah cover dark and morbid topics and seem to present an unrighteously condoning attitude of the same,
  • WHEREAS, Keziah's dark mind is an affront to all of Uno Valley and the minds of its chiks,
  • WHEREAS, the dark swirling rumors on this penguin range from possession of straitjackets- items which the Board deems would be better upon her body than lining her closet -to the possession of a guilliotine,
  • WHEREAS, the media insults she hurls with her horrid pencils of Diss have begun to creep their way into the flippers and minds of innocents all over Antarctica,
  • WHEREAS, Keziah has contributed to the furtherance of underground subcultures and immodest dress amongst the nation's youth,
  • WHEREAS, Keziah is not in the jurisdiction of Mattress Village and can not be brought to justice,
  • WHEREAS, Polaris commends and supports this penguin's dark arts,
  • WHEREAS, the torture and interrogation of villains in Keziah's work are not used for noble purposes,
  • WHEREAS, the antagonist in one of Keziah's novels remained unpunished for seven series despite her crimes, such as acts of vandalism, slander, mania, immodest dress, arson, arson, and again with the arson- the Board notes this arsonistic maniac's fiery obbsession with arson -and that the lack of police capture of this arsonistic character depicted in the book encourages chicks to commit arson,
  • WHEREAS, Keziah's books will aid in toppling the morality of Antarctica if it is not ceased,
  • WHEREAS, Keziah's tasteless running gags- or gagging runs in the opinion of the Board -of constant bacon, tacos, hot dogs, and the occasional "toilet humor" jab are both an insult to the meat industry, the farmers of the meat industry that farm in Mattress Village's city limits, and, in using toilet humor, an immature disgrace to culture reminding the Board of the likes of Director Penny's gaseous issues (see MVBC Con. R. 3; year 2007 Anno Domini)


NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Elders of the Sixtieth Mattress Village Board of Censors that we, in all our capacity as gaurdians and champions of morality, and as protectors of the minds of the chicks everywhere, hereby condemn Aunt Keziah in the most express since of the words.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that we, the Elders of the Mattress Village Board of Censors, express that we all wish that Keziah Smith remain forever single and without a spouse, without chicks of her own and without aquaintances to laugh alongside,
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Board wishes that Keziah's next order of pizza be raw inside its meat and its crust be as stale as the bread lodged in Aunt Agatha's rolls, and that she gain an unpleasent illness as a consequence,
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Board expresses its sincere sympathy and support for Mister Sye Vasquez Grimom, Miss Veranda Fizz Grimom, and Doctor Layer Mammaluigee Grimom, PhD, and hopes they endure her incessant, ignoble stalking techniques, and that the Board will offer solace, comfort, and free gifts to them should they arrive in Mattress Village,
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, in conclusion, that these words be followed up, in a means so deemed by the Board fit and affirmed by Public Vote, that all due measures be taken to put the words of this Resolution into action, including the issuance of Restraining Orders on Keziah's entry to the City, on legal counsel at City expense to the Grimom family for Restraining Orders if budget permits, and on statutory encoding of new bans and burnable media to be enforced to protect the Citizenry from Keziah's pen of doom, and on full permission of the executive vigilantes to carry out the burn orders and other such edicts and laws the Board enact.


SO BE IT,
The High Elders of Morality Convened in the Mattress Villahe Board of Censors, on this Twenty Sixth Day of April, in the Year Two Thousand Eleven Anno Domini.

MVBC Con. R. 57

Trivia[edit]

  • Gave up on guessing her parodee? It's Jhonen Vasquez.
  • She gets very emotional and strange at times.
  • Rocket Slug and Agent Meltie are her nieces, and Phineas34720 is her nephew.
  • Keziah once developed a video game, Blobs of Fail. It didn't sell very well, and the graphics were awful.
  • She doesn't have many friends, and those who are her "friends" are really just more of targets for bullying.
  • Aunt Keziah is single. (Go figure.)
    • She is often called crazy.
    • Keziah has a whole closet of straitjackets. She collected these on her own will.
  • Legend says that Keziah owned and operated a guillotine, using it to cut her hair. It was seized by South Pole City police on a tip from the Grimoms.