Liber Jones

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Liber "Libby" Jones
Born September 1st, 1958
Mattress Village, Ice Kingdom, Olde Antarctica
Died February 26th, 2001
Cause of death Extreme avian flu, brought on by weakened immune system thanks to premature dementia
Resting place Jones' Tree Mausoleum, Mattress Village
Gender Male
Nationality Olde Antarctican
Other names Libby, Censor Libby
Citizenship Antarctican
Education None (knowledge est. 11th grade)
Occupation Censor, Censor for Life
Years active CFL: 1991-2001
Home town Mattress Village
Height 4 feet even
Spouse(s) Atilla Necisty
Children TurtleShroom Jones, Tammyshroom Jones, MobileShroom Jones, Tortugadesetas Jones, Roslyn Jones, Hermeshroom Jones
Parents Fraz Jones
Relatives TurtleShroom's Family, Necisty
 Liber Jones,

In office
Governor Baldurshroom Jones (Mayor)
Deputy Karian Country (CDSL Chairman*, female despite title)
Preceded by Mark a X Here to Vote for Mayor Baldurshroom (that was his real name!!)
Succeeded by Jim Crane
Constituency Mattress Villge

Liber Al Jones, sometimes called "Libby", was the father of TurtleShroom and his siblings, and a widely hated figure by much of Antarctica. He was the oldest of his father's chicks (behind Peggy), and was also the first of Fraz's chicks to die, in 2001. He is also the only Fraz spawn that didn't join him in riding the bus. TurtleShroom was close to his father, but not as close as Roslyn, who tended to him when he was dying. Liber was a zealous and extremely efficient censor, creating a precursor to the Inquisition using mercenaries and Mattress Village's municipal orgnizations (the legality of which under MV law remains debatable). He is considered one of the "most villanious" Joneses of all time, and his wife was Atilla Necisty.

In 1980, when he aquired the coveted position of Censor for Life in the Mattress Village Board of Censors, he set a new precedent for the city, expanding its vigilante groups to the entire continent, recruiting mercenary volunteers to squash indecency all over Antarctica. His campaign, using Mattress Village groups and mercenaries, inspired his son and daughter to purchase and reform The Inquisition into an almost identical system, easing the burden on Mattress Village and returning its duties to "protecting" only Uno Valley. Its name was the "Libby Leigon".

He was also well-known for invoking the wrath of Polarian retaliation. While the two cities always hated each other, it was Liber that made the rivalry official. He had wiretapped and captured several "unclean" Polarians with his squads, and Polaris responded with a makeshift bombing of the Jones household. (Polaris missed. Big time.)

Liber, until his death in 2001, dressed eccentrically. He is generally considered a villain, and even TS rejected one of his most infamous political moves. Everyone else hated him. He was famous for his charisma, which he used to pretty much command Mattress Village (making its other elected bodies mere rubberstamps), and his manipulation actually sent a penguin to be executed, because of a unanimously approved "voting of the doomed" petition he started.

In TurtleShroom's life, Liber was the one who taught him ruthless censorship and that the best justice is "painful" and "deterring". He also scared him into acting "decent" and "cleanly", and wasn't afraid to spank his chicks. Hard. (This isn't to say that he was a bad father, just an extremely strict one. He made his chicks "walk the line".) Due to Liber, TS retains a morbid approval, and even a fixation, with torture (see Earlray66), and is an ardent death penalty supporter. TS is also so fond of caning and paddling because of how it was used by Liber.
(His mother offset what could have been a vicious penguin with her love for mercy, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and "take the higher ground". Before she retired, ironically, she was an executioner on persuasion by her own, dark mother, which may explain the "don't hurt anyone" obbsession she had.)


Early life[edit]

Liber hatched in 1958, somewhere in Antartica on a bus. His mother was named Valerie (surname unknown), and his father was Fraz Jones. He was the oldest of Fraz's chicks, hatching shortly after Fraz married Valerie. He lived on the road for a while with his father and mother's anti-Secret truth-searching team, but Valrie knew he wasn't really into it. She convinced Fraz to drop Liber (or "Libby", as his mother lovingly called him) off in Mattress Village, at the old Jones family home, Baldurshroom contacted Fraz and family in the late 1970s. He was taken in by the community and worked small, local jobs at the stores and things.

"Voting of the Doomed" initiative[edit]

Liber quickly made a name for himself when he spoke out against the incumbent Censor for Life, a wealthy penguin that had hatched in Mattress Village before starting a business. He had obtained the position in an extremely controversial election. He had exploited a loophole by literally changing his name in court. Thanks to this, he appeared on the Unoian ballot as "mark a X here to vote for Mayor Baldurshroom as Censor for Life". This was now his actual name, so he technically wasn't cheating. That didn't stop Liber, though. Baldurshroom was expected to take the position by landslide, so the citizenry gullibly followed the so-called "instructions" and swept "Mark a X Here to Vote for Mayor Baldurshroom" (normally shortened "Mark a X Here") into the position.

Liber spoke strongly against this and rallied the Unoian population to sign a special Petition of Recall, fittingly called a "Voting of the Doomed", against Mark a X Here. Usually, to recall a Censor for Life, he had to be removed by a supermajority (two thirds) audit of the Board (for corrupt reasons), or a "hypermajority" (sixth-sevenths) of the Unoian populace's signatures, excluding the Board (for any reason they want).

Recalls and inititives as these were very common in Mattress Village, but Liber's attack was special because his petition wasn't just a just a recall, or even Mattress Village's famous method of banishment, but a call for the execution of Mark a X Here. A unanimous vote on a "Voting of the Doomed" petition orders an elected or appointed Unoian leader to be put to death. This was last done in 1955, when the populace learned that it had elected a wanted criminal to the Board of Censors, and after he was audited by the same. (He was successfully put to death, but only in 1985, because it was unsure if a group had the authority to vote a penguin to death, so it went through the courts as a low priority.)

Liber's call for (metaphorically) spilt blood was successful. Every Unoian that voted, voted for the execution of Mark a X. (Half of the city didn't vote.) The story made national news at the time, and massive protests to "Save Mark a X" were organized in cities like Polaris and Gemini, as well as among more moderate rightists throughout the continent.

To this day, it is questioned if Mark a X's actions were illegal (he did change his name and he did run legally, it wasn't his fault the Unoians were so gullible as to mark it). Indeed, the Board of Censors, in 2002 issued a Resolution saying that "'initiating a Voting of the Doomed' on Former Censor for Life, 'Mark a X Here', was a foolish move of mass anger and deserved 'mere banishment'".

To this day, Mark a X Here is still on Death Row, but he isn't in prison. Mark a X Here was released from prison and given a tracking bracelet so that if the conviction is upheld, he can be rounded up. He hasn't been executed because his case is still being appealed. It's considered a low-priority case and is on the docket of the High Court of the State of Eastshield. Judge Mortimer, despite being a very ardent death penalty supproter, considers the case a "ridiculously unproportional punishment", but notes that "he has no time to hear it because he has real problems". He currently works in a very successful business having no actual criminal record, he is a fully free penguin, except for that death call that probably will never happen.

As Censor for Life[edit]

For more on how this works, see Mattress Village Board of Censors.

The removal of Mark a X Here triggered an immediate special election for the next Censor for Life. It's needless to say who won.

As Censor for Life, Liber's charisma won the Board over. Following the hype and fame he received from his VOTD petition, they effectively rubberstamped anything he suggested. The Mattress Village Board of Censors re-organized itself, so that the Censor for Life held most power. Even the Cream Soda Destruction League joined him, voting to cede their power to the charasmatic Liber. However, he didn't actually change the structure of government (doing so would require extensive amendments to the City Charter), he just consolidated power to himself with a rubberstamp vote.

It was during this time that he married Atilla Necisty, TurtleShroom's mother.

Libby Leigon[edit]

Liber now had total control over the executive forces of Mattress Village. He immediately put that to work, urging the populace involved with the Unoian vigilanteism to sign up for the "Libby Leigon", which was a paramilitary group identical in purpose to the Inquisition but radically different in structure, hiearchy, and organization. He created it to spread the Unoian dream of morality to the entire continent.

The Libby Leigon was surprisingly successful. Some Unoians joined, and the Cream Soda Destruction League essentially became a division of the Leigon. However, smuggling and rum running went up in Mattress Village because the Libby Leigon was all over the continent, not just in the city, where many critics said it should have stayed.

The Leigon practiced many of the ordeals of the Inquisition, such as wiretapping, trespassing, and stealing "unclean" items. It also kidnapped and tortured certain creatures like the Inquisition, but it didn't only target Un-CP goons and the like. It directly inspired TurtleShroom to do the same, and provided a critical aspect to Holyberden's aquisition of the Inquisition.

However, the Inquisition and the Libby Leigon had major differences. For one, the Leigon was a government enterprise, while the Inquisition is entirely private sector. The Leigon dressed its workers in desert robes, while the Inquisition wore scarlet and capirotes. The Leigon assumed command of Mattress Village's chartered groups vested with police power in the city, while the Inquisition is entirely seperate and usually not involved with the city. While the Inquisition had an established method (appearing with a jarring chord, that ridiculous motto, reading the charges, and ridiculously spastic remarks), the Leigon was supposed to carry out its orders "by any means neccesary". The Leigon made extensive use of mercenaries and bounty hunters, but the Inquisition does so only rarely. Members of the Leigon are called "Libbies", while members of the Inquisition are "Inquisitors".

The Polaris Attack[edit]

For a similar Polarian raid under Liber's son and daughter, see The Harbor Incident. - {Sancho, that means you.}

In 1996, CFL Liber ordered a squad of Libbies to enter Polaris and monitor one of its major areas where government business was conducted. They captured several Polarian leaders and tortured them until the promised to resign their posts, and they did.

Polaris, though, found out, and tried to strike Mattress Village with some cake bombs leftover from Khanzem. They missed.

This being said, it scared Liber into not doing anything like that again. Polaris was never visited by the Leigon ever again. (The Inquisition apparently didn't learn from their leaders' father's mistake when they initiated "The Harbor Incident"!)

This act made the longstanding rivalry between the two cities official. The Polaris City Council at the time passed a Resolution stating that it was the opinion of the city's government that..
"Mattress Village is the sworn rival to Polaris and represents the exact opposite of everything the City strives to be, and the Municipal Government will never do any favorable deals with those morons in Uno Valley, ever".

Mattress Village responded immediately with a Resolution of their own, penned by Liber, equally condemning Polaris.

Mental deterioration and death[edit]

Liber, in 1999, began to first exhibit signs of dementia and old age, despite being a little young for it. He began to act crazy and spout insane messages that made no sense in the context they were used. His waddling slowed and his usual fiery speech became softer and less booming. Liber began to sleep longer and longer, and he began to move less, until he ended up in a wheelchair because he was too slow to keep up with things. He began to fall under various illnesses, because his dementia and general immobility/weakness was weakening himself and his immune system.

He finally died in his sleep in 2001. His wife died a week later.

After his death, Mattress Village reverted itself back to its old state of order and power, ending the consolidation and officially terminating the Libby Leigon by declaring it a "psuedonym of Mattress Village's executive branch's morality activities".


Liber's position in history is extremely controversial in history. Most everyone agrees he was villanious, but many think that he had good intentions. Critics site the death warrant and his consolidation of power as examples of evil, while supporters note that the Leigon never physically hurt anybody in its quest. They also note that the people loved Liber, and they argue that since none of his chicks are really evil, that Liber must have done something right. They note that he never did anything illegal or corrupt under Unoian law, and that when he did something, he announced it to the Unoian people. All of Liber's reforms and consolidations were approved, as was custom, by referenda.

Teachings to offspring[edit]

Liber played an active role as a parent.

So THAT'S where the paddling thing comes from.
His main contributions to the family's beliefs were:
  • Don't let anyone tell you how to dress- unless it's not modest -and ignore anyone's criticisms.
  • Stability is Paramount.
  • Never step from power unless thrown out by force.
  • It is your job to be the world's police.
  • Be yourself.
  • Never curse or I'll spank you. Hard.
  • Insults are very useful.
  • The best dicipline involves detterance. Hard deterrence.
  • Never underestimate the power of spanking. Hard spanking.
  • (To his sons): Treat the opposite gender (females) right, or I'll spank you. Hard.
  • Don't take bribes, or I'll spank you. Hard.
  • Don't succumb to peer pressure.
  • Don't compromise your beliefs.
  • Spare the rod and spoil the chick.
  • Dress modestly or I'll spank you. Hard.
  • (To his daughters): if someone calls you "ugly", they're just jealous that you're different from what this immoral society thinks is "in".
  • Weapons. You needz 'em.
  • Rally creatures behind your cause, and you can do anything.
  • Don't trust any revolution.
  • No mercy on your enemies!
  • Don't ever give up: ever. Ever ever ever.
  • Do what you think is right.
  • Follow your gut./Follow your conscience.
  • If you have to ask whether it's wrong or not, it's wrong.
  • Walk the line and behave, or.... well, you know. Hard.
  • Censorship is a family pasttime. Do it well... FOR THE CHICKS.

Some of these were implemented, while other teachings (e.g. "no mercy") were countered by Liber's wife (and their mother), who tried to teach them compassion, mercy, kindess, respect, peace, nonviolence, and giving, with various results.

Opinions of Liber[edit]


In all of the history of TurtleShroom's Family- at least on the father's side, since no one knows his mother's side -I can't think of anyone worse than Liber Jones. He was ruthless and ruled with an iron flipper. He attacked us without reason and terrorized the continent with vigilantes. He fathered TurtleShroom- which alone is enough -and is why we hate Mattress Village. The world would have been better without out him. Thank goodness he died fairly young!
— General Polaris opinion
— Explorer 767
Dang, TS' family's weird. I thought my family was weird enough...
— Agent Meltie
Libby was one of my heroes back when Ben Hun instated the Inquisition and called me to lead it. I was elated when his son started working with me!
All the more reason that Mattress Village needs to be deleted. I'd say nuked, but I'm in a good mood today. The problem with them is that they always want it their way. And if it isn't their way, they will attack.
'Dat guy wuz lamo. 'Nuff said.
— Fudd Lapooh
This guy stands against everything that is liberty! He created a government bureaucracy which nearly destroyed Polaris. I bet he stands against private enterprise too. I agree with my liberal 'friend' Sancho, the village must be delteted.
— The Leader
Have an opinion? share it!


Daddy was sometimes... rough. He was never cruel to me, but there are some things he did that I wish he didn't. I'm ashamed that he tried to execute Mark a X, for example- don't bring it up! Still, he did teach me how to lead and he did inspire the Inquisition. Personally, I'm glad I had a father like Daddy, and no, I would not trade him for someone else. ...-and yes, I was always jealous of those robes. Where in the WORLD did he get them?
My opinion on Daddy? I really, really liked him. He always loved teaching me stalking tips and how to snoop around, and he really helped me become confident in who I was. I was his "favorite little girl", and that makes sense, because I was, well, the only girl in the family. He's the one that led me into censorship, just like my big brother. Daddy's bad health near the end of his life also inspired me to exercise more. I wouldn't be the same without him, or as confident.
Daddy was a great penguin, but he didn't really follow the rules too much. I'm not to fond of him in that aspect, but he did give me some of the best advice I ever knew: "when push came to shove, do what you love, even if it's not a good idea". Praise the sky programmers for that.


See also[edit]