Mecha Baron

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Lord Harold Mayor von Injoface, Baron of Phi Island
Born 1978
The Wilderness, somewhere in the Ice Kingdom.
Gender Male
Nationality N/A (CA treated puffles as chattel)
Other names Mecha Baron, Mayor Mayor
Education Self taught
Occupation CEO of Baron-Volt Industries
Years active 2000-Present
Notable works Many patents for assorted computing devices and weaponry
Home town Some nerd village in Colonica Callidus (he considers his heritage to trace to CA, not OA)
Known for Mecha Goons, Voulge, wealth, computer industry pioneer, continent's first ennobled puffle
Title Baron of Phi Island
Relatives Mabel's Family (relatives), Mecha Goons (friends), Kerbpuff (enemy), XeXeXe

His Lordship, Harold Mayor von Injoface, Baron of Phi Island, is a black puffle and Mabel relative that operates a vast corporation and baronic fiefdom in Dorkugal. In a world where puffles are usually considered chattel, Harold has risen above his peers and fellow puffles as a captain of industry in charge of Baron-Volt Industries.

Harold also leads a double life; as Mecha Baron, the head of the Mecha Goons, he fights crime throughout all of Antarctica.


From Really Humble Beginnings[edit]

Harold was born to unknown Injoface parents in the Ice Kingdom of Olde Antarctica, in 1978, in the wilderness. From day one, he was very intelligent, going above his feral foragers by using tools to gather his meals (something that, in the wild, was normally reserved to brown puffles). He was capable of speech, but was not around any speaking creature, so he spent most of his young life with the generic puffle language of squeaking, as his parents did. (The great-grandparents of Harold separated from the rest of the clan because they, like a few before them, were "too kind" to live in civilization with the Mabels, and their posterity quickly lost the ability to speak.)

He spent the first ten years of his life foraging for food, as with any puffle, but he did so in more cunning methods than the rest of his fellow puffles. He managed to hoard food and, among the puffle community, rose into power over them in some sort of feral, tribal governance, because the less intelligent puffles sometimes did not have enough food for the brutal winters of their forest home. He began to institute a system of sorts, or, at least to the extent that a wild puffle could, that categorized other puffles into various groups.

Puffles that wanted a share of his stash had to do something for him or to something in his favor in exchange for food. This advanced intellect, even without speech or legal concepts, would later prove invaluable to his success. In essence, this puffle had trained other puffles to serve him.

New Nerds on the Block[edit]

In 1988, though, Olde Antarctica had been experiencing governmental disorder due to the rise of more modern technology and more liberal ideologies, which deemed kings and law based in the king's interpretation, ect., "obsolete", in a sense. Leftists and idealist college students from key places in the Four Kingdoms began peaceful protests to oust the government in favor of a more democratic system.

Unfortunately, as everyone figured out, the Four Kingdoms' response to the collapse of their own realms was to merge their countries into a new continental order, stronger and less free than their own, led by King Greg, and, to prevent this from occurring in the future, to segregate every penguin by species into lands that, according to history books, were the ancestral origins of each group (though many were placed in the wrong areas anyway).

The segregation of species into rigid colonies led to a sudden influx of penguins in the previously untamed territories, including the forests where Harold and his kind dwelled.

In his travels (he didn't need to forage anymore because puffles did that for him in exchange for a share of his food), he crossed paths with a nerd penguin- his name was Saturr8 (pronounced "sadder") -struggling to get food from a tree. Feeling pity (not compassion), he quickly scaled the tree (somehow) and gave the nerd some food. The nerd was on his way to a village that was incorporated and beginning for his kind, and Harold, again feeling pity for the nerd, decided to tag along. He hopped into the nerd's car and drove on to the village.

Arriving in the segregated village, he was impressed by the nerds and their technology. Electricity was beginning to be run into these villages by order of the King, so Harold got to witness such wonders as (early) personal computers and assorted technology (like cars) that he may not have been exposed to as much if he was with another type of penguin (namely, the computers, which were just beginning to come to be as they are known today in the 1980s).

The nerd he met took a liking to him and Harold began to live with him. He got free food and enjoyed wandering around the village. By observing the nerds and listening to them, he began to comprehend speech patterns, which he took on quickly, much to the surprise of the rest of the village. This made Sattur8 even more fond of his puffle.

Vote for Mayor for Mayor[edit]

Time went on and Harold lived a peaceful life in the nerd village. He even attained some power in the village. The presence of Harold really influenced the opinions of these nerds on the social place of puffles. He was unanimously elected mayor by the village, though, because the village was a council system, the position was symbolic.

This changed, though, because Harold proposed ideas to the council that amazed them. Soon, he had the council, metaphorically, in his pocket. If he proposed it, they followed it. It came to be, though, that he needed a surname to be addressed by. The nerds debated it, but eventually decided on "Mayor". This led to him being called "Mayor Mayor", and eventually became his re-election slogan: "MAYOR! MAYOR!" and "Vote for Mayor for Mayor!". Since his ascension as mayor, Harold never lost an election (but he didn't like the election process). The one legislation he was always denied was to be Mayor for Life. (These nerds, oddly, were not as medieval as the vast majority that would for Dorkugal, leading to some unrest down the road.)

Backed by the city, he revolutionized his small town in the 1990s and helped expand it into a bustling city of over seven thousand nerds. Using his outstanding oratory skills, Harold Mayor was sent to the king for royal assent for a new highway project to further connect his city to the rest of the rapidly modernizing Colonial Antarctica. The king was not impressed because this was a puffle talking to him. However, he did win over the Director of His Majesty's Transportation Department: an ex-sergeant tern named Volt, who was in good standing with King Greg for his loyalty to him when the Four Kingdoms forced segregation of all species.

Volt managed to convince the specist king to let a highway be run through his village. Since he had already been granted funds for a large highway, it didn't take anything more than consent of the king to direct it towards the village and then to its original path. That is why Highway One has an odd C-shape in an otherwise abandoned meaningless part of his route.

By 1998, just a year before the Revolution, Harold's city (now named after him, Harold Mayor City), was a bustling metropolis of fifteen thousand nerds. Almost every nerd in Colonica Callidus was in Harold's masterpiece. By now, the Council had changed its city charter to give the mayor exclusive municipal power, reducing themselves, voluntarily, to mere non-binding advisors.


Then, it all changed. Harold's lifework was about to fall.

The Colonial Revolution broke out, and the city turned to Harold on who to side with. Harold's personal opinions lied with the King, because he appreciated the idea of divine right to rule and the uncontested dicta he could issue. Yet, on the other side, he appreciated exacting his work by the will of his subjects and bettering their world, which not every king- like Greg -could do. Harold was torn between each side because his more election-loving constituency wanted to see a republic born out of the turmoil, but Harold himself wanted the King to stay.

Being in charge of his city exclusively since 1997, his choice was the only actually binding decree of the city. His advisors were mostly sided with the Revolutionaries, and Harold was a Loyalist in everything but opinion.

His decision? Neutrality.

The entire city was stunned, and protests appeared in pockets of the city, claiming that their mayor had an agenda with the King. Harold would have none of this, so he himself went to the protestors and gave them a large speech. He convinced the protestors, with the same words that won him the old council, that neutrality would be the best choice in the revolution. He, after all, would continue to rule in favor of their will no matter who they were under, be it crown or president (the judges were never expected).

In the mayoral election of 1999, Harold Mayor ran unopposed and won with only 127 votes against him, all write-ins.

The Revolution went on for another brutal year, full of battles and stories of heroism from both sides of the aisle. Harold was shocked to learn that the advisor to the King- Volt -had turned his back on the monarch because he wouldn't give him a pay raise.

Harold Mayor City was one of the largest neutral areas of the war-torn country. Refusing to take sides, the citizenry catered to Loyalists and Revolutionaries alike, and also kept any fighting between these factions outside of their city limits. They even made a good chunk of cash by establishing a toll road on each entrance to the city in the Highway. (A good thing from the collapse of order: the King no longer had time to enforce rules of the road, allowing Harold to exhort money from any and all armies that passed through.)

Then, the war was over. To the shock of almost every political analyst in Antarctica, the leaders of the Revolution handed the new regime to the courts. Most pundits had expected a new monarchy, a republic, or the nation to collapse into smaller nations. Kritarchy was the last thing on their minds. Harold Mayor City erupted into outrage at this revelation. The entire city had backed their local news anchor's prediction of a democratic republic. Seeing that they were betrayed, the city sort of wished it had devoted its resources and tech to the Loyalists.

Y2K Madness[edit]

The very end of 1999 gave rise to the Y2K madness. The interregnum government that had overthrown the king and was beginning the rule of judges had no real idea as to what to do with the situation. Y2K, remember, is the computing error derived from the dates of any computer that kept time. Computers with dates on them usually used "99" instead of "1999", assuming the 19 in all code. Switching to 2000 (00) would make the computer think "1900", screwing any and all software that demands a date of any kind.

(Doomsayers in the Governance pointed that, at the worst, the entire electrical system would collapse for several months, resulting in sheer anarchy until order could be restored.)

The government decided that the solution was to reduce their dependence on technology (totally unaware that nerds had, behind the scenes, been anticipating and rectifying Y2K since modern computers existed). What was the best way to reduce dependence on technology? Obviously, the government theorized, the answer was to rid the continent- as much as possible -of those that needed it: nerds! This would allow the electrical collapse to be handled by less tech-oriented penguins, far more easily. This pure act of fail did, though, give the world Dorkugal.

The first to go were the nerdy penguins of Club Penguin (then Penguin Chat), on December 3rd, 1999. Twenty days passed, and they reported land. The interregnum government ordered a nationwide deportation of nerds- promising any nerd who volunteered to leave would be amongst their own kind -and tens of thousands of nerds took up their offer.

However, by the time the real exodus had begun, Y2K had finished. The government, already executing the deportation of tens of thousands of nerds, just learned that the very group they expelled had fixed their problem. Oh crud.

Harold saw new opportunities and urged his city to emigrate. The nerds followed their leader all the way to Dorkugal. By March of 2000, Harold Mayor City was a complete ghost town.

In Dorkugal, the nerds set up their new way of life. The Harold Mayor City emigrants (collectively, the "Harolds") convened with all of the other tens of thousands of nerds to decide how their life would be run and under what.

The nerds didn't really want to govern. They just wanted to live their nerdy life and make advances in business and technology. The nerds were well versed in technology but woefully apathetic in politics. In fact, most of them barely even understood the system, unless it had something to do with economics or tech regulations. Some of the stranger nerds from remote parts of the continent suggested a primitive government that wouldn't interfere with technology.

In fact, they claimed, a primitive government would give technology free reign, because, they reasoned, because technology didn't exist back then. (Cue collective face palm.)

Still, the idea was a success. Feudalism was the norm de jure, but the nerds had pretty much circumvented most of it because of the gigantic skyscraper they built to house their little world. Still, medieval governance remained: no one owned land except the CEO (their King) and those he delegated ownership to. (For example, there are several Dukes of Floor 27, which contains a prestigious artificial beach.)

Government out of their way, the nerds settled in and built the Wooden Skyscraper/Googolplex (on that part of the island) that made Dorkugal famous (and also the magic plants). The Harolds were still angry. They just couldn't escape a king. Many of them returned to Antarctica, and the rest vanished into society. Little did they know, though, that their old mayor would eventually pull them back out.

In Dorkugal[edit]

Harold loved the new society. He quickly used his oratory mastery to ascend in the ranks of Dorkugese society. Despite being a commoner, he was alongside both the nobles and the wealthy in the country, and he made fast connections, all the way up to the Crown itself. His expertise and respected background of governing landed Harold a seat on the Royal Advisors to the CEO, and he was hand-picked by Billy Fence I to assist him.

The CEO helped Harold along a bit by giving him prime real estate on a floor of the Googolplex to develop his corporate empire. He learned the ways of capitalism and economics from his fellow nerds and found that it was, in some ways, a lot like feudalism. There was a creature above and a creature below, orders and hierarchies, and a large class barrier that has been discussed for many years.

Harold loved the exciting world of economics. He flourished quickly and found computing as an astonishingly fascinating industry. He met back with his old friend, Sattur8, who had long been a loyal advisor when he was the mayor, and the two founded "Mayor Mayor and Fans, Inc.". Sattur8 had learned a lot about computing and greatly assisted his ex-pet in learning the tools of the trade and about technology over all. Harold learned fast, and the two made it big. By early 2002, MM&F was a small-but-wealthy player in the Dorkugese computing industry, though it couldn't hold a candle to the real monopolies of the country: Quantum Computing, Inc., and Micro Hard and Soft. Most of MM&F's money was made in contracting work to the real players. MM&F made computing chips for the other groups and received little credit.

Harold never liked to be a behind the scenes puffle. He wanted to be known, to be famous. He sought out ways to make money in other industries, but couldn't really think of anything that wasn't city planning or computers: his only skills in business. Due to this, Mayor Mayor and Fans actually began to weaken in profits, as the dominating monopolies began to eliminate the middleman. Mass layoffs ensued, and Harold considered retiring.


It was then that Volt returned to Harold's life. Recognizing Harold's nickname in the company, the now century-old penguin recalled the oratory skills of that puffle and the thank-you letters he had gotten over the years. Volt also traveled to Dorkugal to make his fortune, pursuing his passion for public utilities, roads, and weapons, but he didn't count on feudalism, the entire island being a skyscraper, or the fact that roads were not needed in that country. The pacifism of the nerds also hurt his weapons business, because Dorkugal had strict weapons regulations that could only be exported. (Fuel was costly.) He, too, was going out of business.

Volt had not seen Harold since his days as mayor. Thinking he was still technically "owned" by Sattur8 (he really just rubberstamped everything as power of attorney), Volt contacted Sattur8 to forward a message to him. Sattur8 replied and said that Harold was his own legal person, and that he should take it up with him. Still a bit old-fashioned, Volt insisted that Sattur8 deliver the message.

The two made contact and realized that they could complete each other's corporate errors. Volt's public utilities and exported weapons- which had begun to see an increase in demand due to mainland struggles -would complement Harold's Dorkugal-based company to clear up red tape and provide a steady income for the company to further expand itself internationally, where the public works would come in handy.

In July of 2002, Sattur8, Harold Mayor, and James Volt agreed to merge their companies, "Mayor Mayor and Fans" and "Volt Public Works", into one company: "Mayor Operations and Road Oversight Network". In hindsight, that was a dumb name.

Despite that, MORON couldn't be any less fitting of a name. Now running three diverse industries domestically and abroad, the low-income system of contracting computer parts and the high income system of weapons exportation, in addition to the demands for new roads that the torched South Pole City demanded, catapulted them back into the business field as a frontrunner in the economy.


Stevie Fence I took notice and was fascinated by Harold's success and ability to negotiate things in his favor. His advisory position was not forgotten. On August 3rd, 2002, he CEO decided to make Antarctic history and ennoble Harold. This meant that he was going to be provided with a hereditary title, land, and special privileges in the medieval government. Unlike most, Harold actually owned the property he was given, provided he remained loyal to Dorkugal.

However, there were limits to what Stevie could give. Though his power was absolute, the international community and some of his own subjects weren't too fond of giving a puffle such a lofty status. Penguin-centralism was and has always been dominant in Antarctican politics, and much of the continent still saw puffles as chattel. While Dorkugal had never actually made its decision, this seemed to be an advancement in puffle rights, be it intended or not.

Stevie's original choice of ennoblement was going to be Grand Duke, but pressure from other nobles, the USA, and the Dorkugese overall, convinced the ruler to lower his peerage down to a baron. Despite being the lowest title of nobility that can truly be passed on (peerage), it was unprecedented. Harold was the first puffle to ever receive any title of nobility in the history of Antarctica, ever.

Pressure from these groups also caused Stevie to change his land grant. Harold was initially going to be Grand Duke of the Left Half of Floor Two (where he and his friends lived and worked), but giving him half of the island (on that floor) could have stirred a revolt by specist commoners.

Instead, he was given thousands of acres about fifty miles north of the Dorkugese Jungle. Harold was now "Lord Harold Mayor, Baron of Phi Island". Capitalizing on his title of nobility, he, Volt, and Sattur8 agreed to rename "MORON" to "Baron-Volt Industries". A region ruled by a baron is called a barony (pronounced "BEAR-OH-KNEE").

Gratitude to Sattur8[edit]

At last, it was time for Harold to thank his former master. Sattur8 had led him into the world of computing and had loved him like no pet could be loved (a very recurring theme between puffle and owner, like in CP). Harold needed to make it up to him somehow, and he concocted a brilliant idea to do it.

Feudalism had one last title under Baron that he could hand off. Obviously, a Baron can't give a higher title than what he has. Any lower would have been knighthood, and pacifist Dorkugal didn't have any such order.

Conveniently, this tile, while hereditary, was not nobility in itself. It didn't grant the perks and incentives of peerage, so he was still a commoner. Sattur8 would be ennobled into what was called a baronet. This is the lowest rank of nobility- technically, it isn't even nobility -but is still higher than any knight. As a perk of the title, Sir Sattur8 received "Sir" as a title and a complementary, expensive badge/medal. His duty to receive the title was simply to "have fun". Harold did demand any sort of service or allegiance, because he felt that keeping him as a pet was duty enough.

The process of a noble giving their land and a title to another noble is called Subinfeudation. As part of the deal, most of the massive estate given to Lord Harold was handed off to Sir Sattur8, because he only needed the beachfront property on Evil Lake and the area next to the Dorkugese Jungle for his raw material processing factories. An area governed by a baronet is called a baronetcy (pronounced "BEAR-ON-NET-SEE"). Conveniently, the land Harold gave was land he was not going to use.

This means that Sattur8 was now "Sir Sattur8, Baronet of Phi Island". He was honored to take it, but still has yet to figure out what he should do with his new baronetcy. He still lives in Harold's mansion, in the floor dedicated to him.

Spaz for Hire[edit]

Main article: Gil
See also: Bloo16 the Wanderer

Using his wealth, Harold began to indulge himself by building a well-armed, five story, luxurious estate out on his new barony. His mansion had fifty bedrooms and sixty bathrooms, a pool hall, a penthouse, two swimming pools, a bowling alley, a library, and obviously a whole floor for his business (working from home!). One floor was also given for Saturr8 to live in, and it alone was bigger than ten of his old residences combined. Outside, a large array of various defenses (including a whirlpool moat and armadas of Glue Missiles) protected the mansion from intruders (such as Jerks). Harold gave his estate the name Phi Manor.

However, an estate this large required help. Harold decided to do what any tycoon would do: hire a butler! Wanting to live in this new mansion- that was privately owned! -creatures came from miles around, and internationally as well, to serve him. Every butler that was interviewed was always rejected; those that were hired normally lost their job quickly because they were not submissive, or not mannerly, or slept until noon in one of his many silken, Streber-crafted sleeping chambers, or were smart-mouths, insubordinate, or refused to serve a puffle when they figured out what they were to serve. One "butler" even hid in Harold's mansion and just kept dodging his supposed employer, living off of raided fridges, sink water in any bathroom, and the ten butler pantries throughout the mansion. He's still there, somewhere.

Fed up with insubordination, Harold decided to turn to creatures that were bred to be servants. There was no other creature he could imagine outside of a Waddle G. Unfortunately for the baron, Waddles G were the property of the UPM, and no one got permission to own one without the consent of Bugzy himself.

The puffle was scared, but he eventually met up with Bugzy and was quite surprised to learn that the gangster was more than happy to give him "his best Waddle G", but only if he would get a share of the profits. Or, in other words, Harold was to bribe Bugzy.

Sacks of gold were spilled onto the table as the usually calm gangster gasped at the wealth of such an insignificant looking furball. Bugzy immediately handed him a Waddle G, though unknown to Harold, this was a defective Waddle G that Bugzy had been trying to rid himself of for months. Its name was Gil, and it was as klutzy, if not more, than Rookie of PSA infamy.

Gil was unlike any other butler Harold had ever had. He never questioned a single task he was given; he merely carried it out happily (and also very haphazardly) and asked for a waffle or two in return. He also assisted the baron with many of his pet mechanical projects. Soon enough, the two bonded and became inseparable. Gil still serves the baron to this day.

The Black Market[edit]

Harold had all he ever wanted, and more. He tried to get out of this silver spooned life by travelling throughout Dorkugal- accompanied by bodyguards in the shadows, of course -and seeing how the usual nerd lived in the Googolplex.

It wasn't much. Between work and home (and it was nearly impossible for Harold to seperate nerd work from nerd leisure), Harold got bored watching nerds work in cubicles, only to go home and play in, uhh, cubicles... -except with their chicks.

Harold got really bored, really fast. He decided to visit the rest of the amazing, non-covered world of Phi Island. Moving away from his policed, secure, prosperous barony, he found huts filled with Jerks, strange council-like or tribal governments, and plenty of pavement for breakdancing on. However, this wasn't what caused him to go back to the right side of Evil Lake.

It was crime.

Dorkugal's navy is "the pariah of the seven seas", partly because they don't have weapons (they just patrol), and partly because they are five hundred years due an upgrade. Wooden galleons are not very efficient, even if their sails are furled and unfurled by machine (no manual labor needed!) or steered by GPS.

The Dorkugese navy had been trying to curtail Jerk crime since they existed. Mid-2000 saw an anti-Jerk crusade consisting of the few nerds brave enough to leave their comfy, heated building. They got their butts kicked, and eventually, the Jerks counter-struck and conquered Floor Thirteen because the "conquerors" had invaded them first.

Fords, though, were the primary international arm of the Black Market as it existed in that time. Harold was embarassed to see the Ford's speedy, engine-powered ships barreling through his country's blockade in broad daylight, right in front of them.

A sense of nationalism and pride drove him to investigate this humiliating smuggling trade further. Disguising himself as a raddy puffle, he sneaked aboard a Ford blockade runner and stowed in the cargo hold as they raced by, and around, twice, a Dorkugese galleon patrolling the area.

Harold noted that the Fords and Jerks were both very cocky about their trade. This could be their downfall, especially since they were confident enough to circle the blockade ships several times to taunt their dorky opponents. If the nerds just developed some real boats... -but nnnooooo, those were a waste of money and only to be used to stop boredom! Better things to do with them, his rear! Harold saw this serious problem far more seriously than his own country, who made no real attempt to stop it.

Harold continued his journey on the smuggling route to Lichenblossom, where he was nearly sunk by their battalions of big scary battleships. Even the little realm of Ed Island managed to almost bomb Harold and the ship he was on. In fact, Ed Island did as well as Lichenblossom, given their smaller number. Emperorlands did a good job holding them from refueling, but they got away fairly easily.

The boats stopped to refuel on almost every island on their route. Each time they neared territorial waters, they were immediately bombarded with that nation's standing army, navy, air force, or something out to wipe the floor with them. Going upwards from Dorkugal, only Dorkugal failed to hold off the Black Market from entering and exiting easily.

Hitting the shores of the Western Antarctic Peninsula (CP was still a hospitable fishing port and beta at this time), the Black Market was apprehended by a militia of villagers in the nearby cities, towns, and ports, and some cops.

Harold was assisted by these good-natured townfolk and sent back on his way. Bound for Dorkugal, he decided that he had to do something to stop this hideous and embarassing breach of security and trade law. If Dorkugal didn't stop it, and if the nations of the continent couldn't stop the entire thing, he would.

He would[edit]

Main article: Mecha Goons

To confront and fight the injustice that was the Black Market, Harold would need an elite squad of creatures that were not only loyal to him, but possessed useful skills to bring to the table. The time was November 2002, and he was itching to get it on.

Sir Sattur8 and Volt were in on the get-go, and Gil had nothing else to do except his job. It was decided, then, that Harold von Injoface and his gang of friends, Volt, Sattur8, and Volt, would band together to stop the Black Market. Harold disguised himself with a cheap mask and a cute little cape and set off to right the world in his own little way of vigilanteism. The first operation was to simply investigate. Harold and Gil, accompanied with the weaponry of Volt, made tracks deep into the Market, both up and down from Dorkugal, and then into the mainland. Harold was horrified at how pervasive this system was, and how often-warring crime rings would set aside their differences to make a boatload of money (though each wanted a bigger cut). This was too efficient, too wealthy, too lucrative for criminals to move on, and no government could ever fully halt the system.

Harold knew what he must do. He was to defend the good economy from the injustices of the black market. To do this, he would need training and minions: lots of minions. Harold quickly took up swordfighting classes at the local Dorkugese self-defense studio and ebcame very good at it by the end of the year. Sattur8 took care of the company while he was away, and Volt got to fulfill his other, non-road making dream of manufacturing weapons. Gil was in it for the pastry.

They interviewed various thugs, mercenaries, and shifty creatures-for-hire all over the continent. Some gangsters opted in because Harold was willing to pay them fortunes more for the side of (his) good than their own gang. Being criminals, they defected easily (except the loyal UPM folk, for other reasons and other other reasons).

A motley crew of assorted baddies and cash-starved creatures assembled under the Baron. They became very loyal to Harold because of his oratory skills, and stayed for the pay and housing at his manor.

Of the criminals, creatures, and assorted baddies, a select few rose above the rest and became Harold's right-hand creatures. These became his elite advisors and assistants, an "inner circle" of sorts, which were delegated most everyone else to serve under, for, or alongside them.

By this time, Harold had begun to call himself Mecha Baron, so it made sense that his minions would have a similar name. Taking from their shifty nature, he decided to name his inner circle, and all the baddies he hired, the Mecha Goons.

Hatred of Kerbpuff and Kerb W. begins[edit]

See also: Voulge


Mecha Baron and the Goons, even lower ones, prefer to let crime stop itself, so to speak. Criminals are, spare the UPM family (called that for a reason), ultimately, in for their own greed and pride, and will not have everyone's back, sticking to certain fellow partners in crime and factions amongst godfathers, bosses, or simply those bigger than them.

Mecha Baron exploited this. Using his leigon of ex-baddies, anti-heroes, and select friends, he would infiltrate crime rings or protection rackets and alter the scenario to favor either his own gain or justice in general, depending on the situation and mood. (After all, Mecha Baron deserved a reward for all his do-gooding.)

For example, he could suddenly drop off a "gift" of very nice weapons on the doorstep of victims of a protection racket. Eventually, the racket would lift itself from the now-armed neighborhood- capable of defending itself -and move on, because the group could defend itself and fight them off. He would then take this transitionary period to his advantage, following the racketeers and taking them out before they could move to a new location.

Harold's inner circle also took a very active role in the fights. Instead of simply administering the lower recruits, the elite Goons often travelled in alongside them, or went undercover with them, as equals, simply because they craved adventure and excitement.

By using manipulation, bribes, and deceit over actual fighting, there have yet to be any casualties in this subtle war on crime. Mecha Baron has, in part, been largely successful in curtailing the Black Market, but even he can never rid the continent of it for good.



See also[edit]


  • Despite the territorial designation, Mecha Baron does not actually have sovereignty over all of Phi Island, just a small chunk. Billy just considered that a better name that "Baron (and Baronet for Sattur8) of a Portion of Phi Island Stretching from an Evil Lake Coastline to less than Fifty Miles from the Jungle".
  • This is eventually supposed to be evolved into a parody of Kirby's Meta Knight. Eventually.
  • Harold often fights with Hammer Goon, because that dirty commie despises feudalism, kings, nobility, and bourgeoisie. He usually shuts up when said noble threatens his job.*He was exclusively exempted from the "No Rights to Mabel" clause in the United States of Antarctica in 2003, so that he could own land (without cheating).
  • This is a very loose parody that apparently ties into Kirby's Meta Knight, somehow.
  • Harold is considered one of the purest Injofaces of all, but even he seems to profit from stopping crime. After all, not all of that protection money has to go back to the bank, right?
  • Sattur8 normally maintains the company when Harold is on some adventure. He has also been seen babysitting Gil and assisting the butler in feeding and housing the leigons of minions that stay, from time to time, in his mansion.

See also[edit]