Machugroovy2

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Machugroovy2
Executive's new groove.png
Uh huh, uh huh; uh huh uh huh uh huh!
Profile
Title Member of the EBUL Board of Governors
Gender Male
Race Emperor penguin
Faction EBUL
Health Narcissist
Level It's all about him.
Status Wrapped in his selfish obsession with himself
Location Club Penguin
Birth date December 15th, 1941
Occupation Member of EBUL's Board of Governors
Interests Himself, receiving gifts, getting waited on, getting his way, himself, himself, himself.
Friends Disco Puffle, Majila (but they never got to first base), EBUL executives
Enemies Eeez Antics
Archetype Neutral (because he's too incompetent to be evil and too selfish to be good)


Machugroovy2, professionally addressed as Machu, is a sitting executive on the EBUL Board of Governors. In addition to voting and proposing key CP-altering ideas alongside other EBUL executives, he happens to boast an ego and love of himself that rivals that of Swiss Ninja and Mabel on their birthdays.

He is mainly vested with organizing parties alongside the Moderators (and sometimes for them), and even EBUL-haters admit that he is THE life of the party. If there's one thing this elderly fat-cat businesspenguin can do, it's DAAAANCE.

It should be noted, though, that he isn't actually selfish in the monetary sense, but rather, he demands to be the center of attention at all times. Obsessed with himself, he puts glorification of himself above all other matters- even official business -and is considered lazy (because he's spoiled and expects to be waited upon), but still a valuable asset to EBUL.

Background

Early life

Machu hatched somewhere in the mountains of Trans-Antarctica. Born into tremendous wealth, he never needed to work a day in his life. His great-grandparents were poor creatures from a tropical realm, who earned billions in the mining industry. While the worked hard for what they got, their spoiled posterity were fed by silver spoons in luxurious mansions, cut off from the relatively poor neighbors in a mountainous estate. It was to the third generation of spoiled, non-working rich creatures that Machu hatched.

Living entirely on the boundless inheritance, Machu was waited on flipper and foot, and never went a day without getting exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it, and how. This bred tremendously spoiled behavior, and Machu rapidly developed a sheltered and over-the-top ego of self-idolization. It was all about him and no one else.

Machu was selfish and spoiled, but since he was so obscenely wealthy, he never became greedy. His family had so much money that he really didn't see it as a necessary item (money fight!), and his entire family dumped billions to charity, although they did this for show and prestige, not out of the goodness of their heart.

Dancing

The family was very sociable, attending all the most expensive parties and high life all sorts of nightlife. Despite being treated to operas, ballrooms, and other sorts of refined and sophisticated waltzing, young Machu seemed fixated on a more modern form of dancing.

Upbeat music and spastic, rhythmic moves made up Machu's choice of music. He would blare custom-made records of this kind music on his golden-trimmed gramophone (that's all they had in 1960s Antarctica) all day and all night. The family didn't care, because they simply went to the other side of their mansion.

Time passed and DISCO came through when Machu was in the human equivalent of his twenties. Those were the greatest years of the spoiled penguin's life. Machu was the "grooviest" and most talented dancer at any ball or night club, and managed, despite aging and being so wealthy, to keep up with the hippest and most modern music and dancing for the rest of his life. Even in the 1990s, when rave-music came to pass, forty-plus year old Machu was at the center of the atrium, being cheered on by middle and lower-class scene creatures that could be his grandchildren. In a three-piece suit. Made of silk. With a tie.

A true dancing legend, Cadence is said to have had a teenaged Machu poster in her room as a chick, and Crow seems to have derived some of his music from the disco music of Machu's adolescence. Machu is credited with saving Disco from ruin (as it was rumored to have ended up in human worlds), and may have been an inspiration for Disco Puffle to begin his quest of grooviness.

Later life and EBUL

It came to pass in 2006 that Economic Borders Unlimited was formed. Cadence had helped instate the Night Club, which was the now old Machu's favorite place to dance. The two were close friends, and the connections to "famous penguins" caught the attention of EBUL in Februrary 2007. They had already begun scheming behind closed doors to plan and annex parties into their Membership scheme. Machu was the life of the party, so who to better plan a party than a partygoer? Plus, pulling in a member of the mining legacy could ensure colossal partnerships between Machu's wealthy family and cash-strapped EBUL (which never happened).

He was hired despite little skill and no work ethic. His parents pressured him to get a job, "to look good to a hard working society". Always about looking good, Machu took the job and was placed on EBUL's Board of Governors.

Involvement

Machu is currently vested with brainstorming the Members-only rooms and organizing parties alongside the Moderators. He also performs more managerial and routine tasks, like voting in EBUL company meetings and filing paperwork.

Majila

Majila is a supervisor that works in EBUL's party-planning department- Machu's department -and is a penguin Machu has always been in love with, though he's far too old for her (heck, he could be her father). Majila likes Machu, not in a romantic sense, but in a friendship sort of way, believing that deep down and behind his selfish, narcissistic attitude, there lies a heart of gold and an intention to do good. She's yet to actually locate that, but she knows it's there.

His "groove/rhythm/routine/habits"

The answer in short is not to do it.

Machu is one of those creatures that is incessantly tapping upon his desk, humming a song, drumming with his pencils, beating upon his walker after he throws his back out on the dance fl- ...uhh, shouldn't have written that.

No matter, though, the lesson to be learned is that Machu's train of thought is delicate. His rhythmic means of living his life has not changed since his adolescence, and it's a very fragile item indeed. Some call it "his groove", others "his routine", and to some, "his annoying habits", but all agree that throwing him off of it is a nasty thing indeed.

Machu is a spoiled being and lives in a world where he only serves himself. He believes that everyone should serve him, and this includes staying out of his way when he's dancing.

Machu can not work productively without his routine, without his rhythmic quirks and idle movements. One who disturbs this process has not only wrecked anything this EBUL executive has done, but has greatly angered him. Machu is not easily angered at all, but one who throws him off has it coming.

On the day he was interviewed, the interview gatekeeper deemed Machu good enough to go for the interview with EBUL. Machu was busy tapping something and humming to himself as he waited, and was lost in his train of thought, preparing himself for the interview. As Machu began to waddle in this state, the gatekeeper got up to get some water, and ran into him. Machu was thrown off his rhythm and shouted at the gatekeeper... -and so he threw the gatekeeper out the window. Yes; the window. Beware.

Amazingly, he got the job. He struggled and stuttered in the interview because of his routine being disrupted, and throwing the gatekeeper out the window didn't help at all... -but he got the job.

Operation Santa's Got a Brand New Bag

Machu's biggest move as an EBUL executive was him coming up with EBUL's latest incentive: Operation Santa's Got a Brand New Bag.

Since Machu lived in a world where money was no object, he failed to consider the costs of such an ambitious idea, like just giving twelve thousand coins away with no obligation to re-invest in EBUL. Even though most of it would go there, Coins for Change would siphon some, and the imports should not be ignored.

Still, he pitched the move anyway and got the backs of assorted special interests and minions to go along with it. Coupled with his spoiled attitude and risk of an old man's tantrum, the EBUL executives implemented the measure by one vote: Machu's.

Eeez

Eeez is Explorer 767's paternal grandmother, and she has a fixation with destroying Machu. She is also a sorceress specializing in the technical side of black magic. Supposedly, she was the secretary and adviser to Machu, and tended to operate EBUL behind his back whenever she could. She was far more friendly to non-Members than Machugroovy, and Machu eventually had her fired for this.

Eeez thought she was a far more competent executive than her boss (she is), and respected non-members more than Machu (she does), and therefore deserved his job (she still thinks so).

How does she go about trying to get rid of Machu? BRILLIANTLY, of course! Not content with just trapping him in a broom closet, deleting him, or otherwise incapacitating the old penguin (no, that's not BRILLIANT), she cooks up strange and maniacal Rube Goldberg-like schemes. Her most referenced plan involved turning Machu into a puffle, a harmless little puffle, and putting him into a box, and putting that box into a second box, and then mailing that box to herself, and when it arrives, SHE'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMAH! (She never goes through with that one, though.)

Aging

Despite being so in with the times and acting fifty years younger than he should, age is still catching up to him. Intense dancing throws off Machu's back more than it does his groove these days. While he still insists on getting down at any chance he can, can he get up? Not without paramedics, usually. (He has a pendant to call 9111 for him.)

Fellow executives have tried to get Machu to retire from dancing, but he refuses, and might throw them out a window if they interrupt his dancing.

No penguin can escape old age. Machu has lost some hair, height, and posture, a lot of hearing, and his hair is of course graying. It takes a lot of products to keep him looking young, and that is also expensive, because it's not his feathers that are failing him, but the skin deep underneath, and buying cream to fix that is a story in and of itself. Of course, when money is no object, it's not a problem.

Machu's feet (legs?) have failed him in part, since he can no longer dance without a cane. The cane, by the way, is golden with ivory. After intense dancing, he isn't seen without his walker, which is also golden with ivory on the bottom (it scratches the floor, but Machu's walker too cool for tennis balls on the bottom).

Quotes

One liners

  • "Yay!"
  • "It's all about me."
  • "Hands up, bow down, give gifts! To me!"
  • "I threw out my back!" *claps flippers* "Pick me up!"
  • "NO TOUCHY THE SUIT."
    • "NO TOUCHY."
    • "NO. TOUCHY."
  • "BOOM BABY!"
  • "Heh heh. Peasant supplicating."
  • "Get down in the house tonight!"
  • "Clear the floor and let the senior show you how it's DONE!"
  • "Heh heh. Rave. I remember that. I remember albums too. Yeah."
  • "Yay me!"
  • "There's a... one coin increment?"

Dialog/situational

  • I'm planning on building my family's sixteenth manor right here.
*points to map*
There's several peasants living on that street right now, but hey, that's what Eminent Doman's for! Yay!


  • {To the Moderators, regarding a party room}
Gizmo: ...-but... you can't do that! That's half the island locked up from the population! On Halloween, no less!
Machu: Sure I can!
Gizmo: How?
Machu: Well, ONE: I'm more powerful than you. TWO: I'm better looking than you. THREE: It's my job. FOUR: I don't care about your selfish needs.
  • {sighs}
"If I pay you, will you go away?"
  • {To Bill Gates}
Machu: Hey Billy, 'wanna have a money fight?
Bill: Only if we break the fifties.
Machu: Like there's anything lower.
{Both laugh}
  • {Eeez's last day as adviser}
Machu: You're in my chair again. Behind my desk.
Eeez: It's not what it looks like, sir... I was just... helping, that's all! I mean, a busy dancing penguin like yourself- so young, might I add... are those new earrings? You grew back some hair? Regained your hearing?
Machu: What did you say?
Eeez: ......
{pause}
Eeez: Sir, I said that I was just helping.
Machu: What? I can't hear you.
{Eeez slaps her flipper upon her wrinkly beak}
Eeez: I WAS TRYING TO MAKE YOUR PHREAKING JOB EASIER!
{Machu chuckles.}
Eeez: What? What's so funny?
Machu: Heh, I turned off my hearing aid when you first talked. By the way, you're fired.
Eeez: O_O
  • {To a non-Member}
NM: I am not a peasant! I'm middle-class.
Machu: Peasant.
NM: Am not!
Machu: Peasant-y peasant.
NM: I'M NOT A PEASANT!!
Machu: Peasant face.
NM: CALL ME A PEASANT AGAIN AND ILL REPORT U!!!
{long pause; Machu bursts into thunderous chortling}
NM: What?
{laughter continues as Machu falls to the ground and can't get up}

Praise

Members

Criticism

From Nonmembers

From Libertarians

From CREAM SODA Party and Bennywatchers

From USECP

From Other Creatures

Trivia

  • Machu is a parody of Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove/School.
  • He does not act his age, physically or mentally.
  • Money holds little value in Machu's eyes: he has that much. He's been known to hand it to a servant lower employee "to get something nice". EBUL employees in Machu's department do their best to appease his every whim in hopes of getting "a little something" for their troubles. When some asks Machu for "a ten", Machu doesn't expect that to be ten coins, but ten thousand. No one wants to correct him on that!
  • Ethnically speaking, his ancestry traces to a more tropical climate, scoring "minority points", although region of origin does not earn as much affirmative action as species.
  • He has enough money to bribe social workers from sending him to the normally mandated nursing home. He isn't old enough to face the mandate (said mandate is eighty eight years on Lesser penguins), but he still plans to bribe his way out.
  • He has a theme song and a guy to sing it for him. The guy has an afro, as if it couldn't get any better.
  • He constantly refers to non-Members as "peasants".
  • He is actually a non-Member, believe it or not. He is so wealthy that the imports and tarriffs don't even scratch his budget, which he doesn't even keep himself.
  • He likes to make fun of other people at times.
  • He shares far too many similarities with Disco Puffle.
  • He is EXCESSIVELY LAZY.
  • It is rumoured that he has a crush on Becky.

See also