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The Shopper Territory of
Motto: "Unity is Awesomeness"
Anthem: "Our Country" (Traditional)
Never Give Up (Official)
A map of Malesia
A map of Malesia
CapitalKuala LOLpour
Official languages English, Malay, Chinese
Demonym Malesian
 -  President of Shops Island Lavender
 -  Ceremonial King Yang Di-Pertuan LOL Agong
Legislature Common Legislature
 -  Upper house Bureaucracy
 -  Lower house Administration
 -  Independence of Malé Island August 31, 1963 
 -  Merger with Broneo Island September 16, 1963 
 -  Shopper purchase of Malesia April 1, 2017 
 -  Water (%) 0.3%
 -  2018 estimate 3,755,118
GDP (nominal) 2018 estimate
 -  Total 502 Billion WB$
Currency WB$
Calling code 583

Malesia, also known as MaLOLaysia, is a territory of Shops Island located just northeast of the Shopper mainland in the Asiapelago. Malesia was once an independent country, and previously a Puffish colony before economic difficulties resulted in Malesia being purchased by its neighbor. Despite having bustling cities and a vibrant ('LOL'-obsessed) culture unlike any other in Antarctica, Malesia has always been plagued by gang violence and political corruption. The territory of Malesia also encompasses the small colonial holdings of Abodei and Triangapore.


The earliest evidence of penguins inhabiting Malesia a few thousand years ago, those of such mainly migrating from areas such as Zhou. Zhouese traders began arriving on the island in about 100 AD, and establishing coastal villages and towns in the two centuries that followed. Ever since, Zhou and smaller minority groups have had a lasting influence on Malesia. The Malesians soon developed a weird, unsourced, liking for the term "LOL". At the same time, the kingdom of LOLkasuka was formed in the northern regions of the western island, lasting for over 1000 years. For the last few hundred years of the LOLkasukan kingdom, the LOLijaya empire was formed in the southern part of the island. The LOLijaya empire soon fell, and was replaced by the Megaphail empire, which conquered most of the island. In the early 15th century, Pwnswarma, a prince of the former LOLijaya empire, founded the "Machaca Sultanate", which was in reality, the first independent territory in Malesia. It soon became an important Malesian economic hub.

In 1511, Machaca became conquered by Lisboagal, but was soon taken by the Batavians for around 100 years. In 1786, the Puffish Empire conquered most of the Malesian island, and the reigning Sultan leased the area of LOLang to the Puffish West Asiapelago Company, and their empire took control of Machaca following a treaty signed between the Batavians and the Puffish. By the mid-19th century, the western island of Malesia, which was owned by the Puffish, consisted of four states. They were known as the "Federated Malé States". Five other states on the island were called "unfederated" states. Though they were not under Puffish control, they accepted the Puffish ways. The eastern island of Malesia, known as Broneo, soon came under Puffish control as well. The two islands' development was generally different until the 19th century, but Broneo soon came under Puffish control. Both islands soon became a single colony under Puffish rule.

With the outbreak of the Khanzem War, the Japalandese invaded the Malesian islands, and occupied them for the following three years. Internal tensions grew during the occupation, especially between different ethnicities. When Malesia was liberated by the Good Guys, nationalism rose to an all-time high, and the call for independence grew louder. Minor internal conflicts ravaged the islands for the next 40 years, until locals eventually grew sick of being in the same colony as Broneo. The Puffish fired back by openly stating that both Malesian islands were the same crown colony. They also opposed the granting of citizenship to Zhouese individuals during this time. The Zhouese, as retaliation, backed the Malé communist party, in guerrilla efforts to push the Puffish out of Malesia.

Once tensions calmed down, the Puffish and Malesians began writing up drafts which would convert Malesia from being a colony, to being an independent country under the Puffish commonwealth. After a brief conflict with Hindonesie, racial protests broke out for a short period of time in the 1960's, but soon cooled down. The prime-minister of the time was soon quick to introduce economic reform, which stabilized Malesia's economy. Following great economic improvement in the 1980's, Malesia's economic situation plateaued, and dipped for a while in the 1990's before quickly recovering. In 2010, Malesia became one of the first nations to recognize Shops Island, and they soon became great trading partners, helping to boost Malesia's economy. Recently though, the LOLRM has been taking a dip in value, and the stock markets are slowly sinking. Both Shops, Nexon and to a certain extent Margate (although the Margatian government denies it) have started their intentions of wanting to annex Malesia in varying manners, but the Malesians have taken it with a grain of salt.

In 2017, due to political difficulties in the Malesian government, the country defaulted on its debt and declared bankruptcy. To prevent an impending financial crisis, Shops Island purchased Malesia in exchange for handling and repairing the financial situation. From then on, Malesia would be a Shopper territory and ruled by the Shopper goverment, although the Malesian king was allowed to still hold ceremonial power.


Malesia's government activities are officially administered by Shops Island, although Malesians have much more influence over their internal politics than most Shopper territories due to a well-established political system and civil service prior to the Shopper annexation. Malesia is officially represented in the Common Legislature and must abide by Shops Island's laws, although the Shopper government gives Malesia plenty of leeway with lots of legislation due to its special situation.

Although he retains no real power, the king of Malesia, Yang-di-Pertuan LOL, has remained a symbol of hope and cultural unity for the Malesian population. The Shopper government agreed to leave the monarchy intact as it served little threat to Shopper rule over the territory.

Oddly, even though Malesia is a territory of Shops Island, it still has two semi-independent states which are administered jointly by the Shopper and Malesian governments. Even though Abodei and Triangapore are part of Malesia proper, the Shopper government treats them as separate entities to cool down tensions and keeping with former Malesian tradition.

Capital BSB City
Territory of Shops Island (de jure)
Malesia (de facto)
Population 17,000


Abodei is a semi-autonomous territory of Malesia situated in Broneo Island. It has its own ceremonial Sultan, who has some diplomatic power over the territory and is related to the Malesian king. Abodei's autonomy comes with the guarantee that they can make their own laws and enforce them accordingly, but things like military, trade, and foreign affairs are handled fully by the Malesian government.

Abodei is very rich in oil and is the second richest part of Malesia, after Triangapore.


Triangapore is a city-state located south of JohoLOL Bahru. It is a major trade hub for Malesia, but also holds some level of autonomy, handling things such as trade and governance itself. It is the most democratic region in Malesia, and also the richest. Triangapore is home to many immigrants from Zhou, giving it stronger Zhouese ties than the rest of Malesia. It is also very similar to Margate City and Triangapore harbors close relations with Margate.

Capital Triangapore City
Territory of Shops Island (de jure)
Malesia (de facto)
Population 31,000


Malesia has a strong economy for a territory of its size. Malesia is home to many O-berry plantations, and has some of the largest ports in Antarctica. Malesia is often a stopover route for cargo ships to pick up and drop off supplies. Tourism is also becoming a rising industry in Malesia, as more and more tourists are coming here to view the modern and unique architecture the country has to offer. In the possible event that petroleum supplies in Malesia have been depleted in the future, the oil of the O-berry can be converted as a cleaner substitute for petroleum, which could make Malesia an economically efficient and somewhat powerful nation to be reckoned with. Even if petroleum isn't depleted, Malesia is earning a fortune in exporting O-berries to other countries. The residing Zhouese made up about 70% of the economy.


Malesia has an ethnically diverse society, dominated by Zhouese culture, and native Malé heritage. Slumolian, Wafflelandian, and Puffish cultural aspects are also prominent, but not as much. The government is extremely friendly about Malesia's cultural diversity, and notably discourages assimilation of ethnic minorities into regular society.

Hindonesie and Malesia are known to bicker about the similarities of their cultures, as Hindonesians don't like to be categorized with the Malesians; this friendly rivalry between the two is notable, and carries through in many aspects of their countries' reputations.


Malesian cuisine is a reflection of, and is heavily influenced by the ethnicities that make up the country's cultural background and population. Notable influence comes from Zhouese and traditional Malé cultures, thanks to Malesia being part of an ancient spice route at one time. Food in Malesia is comparable to that of Margate and the Finipines, too. Dishes vary depending on where in Malesia the focus is on.

Example of common dishes in Malesia are rice, noodles, bread, seafood, and many exotic Malé dishes. Lots of food staples in Zhou have found their way into everyday Malesian meals as well. Unique fruits and spices are also commonplace in the busy markets of Malesia's cities.


Malesia's main sports are soccer, hockey, and martial arts such as Tomoi and Silat. Soccer is Malesia's main sport, which is so popular that the state is trying to win the rights to host the international soccer competition in 2034. Although they have a wide range of popular sports, Malesia is weak sportively on the international level, never winning any gold medals in the Olympics.


The main media sources in Malesia were once owned and run by the leading political parties of the Malesian government. Even after the Shopper annexation of Malesia, the two former political parties still control these media sources. This makes most media biased in favor of certain points of view, although opposition parties have some ability to voice their opinions. The two islands which make up Malesia are rarely mentioned in the other island's press releases. The media has also been criticized for increasing tension between Hindonesië and Malesia.


Malesia boasts a healthy population of around 3,800,000 penguins and puffles. Most penguins in Malesia are of Zhouese descent. Many others are ethnic Malesian. The capital city, Kuala LOLpour, hosts around half of Malesia's entire population. Malaysian is the most common language in the country, with English also being a popular second language, thanks largely in part to Puffish colonialism. Chinese and Tamil are also commonly spoken, but not as much as English and Malaysian. There are also many other ethnic minorities and linguistic minorities throughout the country.


See Malesian Armed Forces for more information.

Malesia's military isn't very advanced. Therefore, Malesians stay out of conflict and are generally neutral, so their small military won't get diminished any further. The Malesian military is generally small in size, and isn't very advanced. They import weapons from the USA and Shops Island. Shops acts as a primary defense force for Malesia, and Shops is willing to go to war with any nation that attacks Malesia. Ever since Shops Island purchased the country, the Malesian Armed Forces have been integrated into the larger and more formidable Shopper Armed Forces as its own independent branch.


  • It is the second of two parodies of Singapore, the other being Margate.
  • The Malesian king's actual name is unknown. All kings hide behind the alias of Yang Di-Pertuan LOL throughout their tenure.

See Also[edit]