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|Type||Vigilante intelligence agency and extralegal police force|
|Location||Varies, usually spread across Antarctica|
|Job||Searching for, tracking down, and eliminating injustice in Antarctica.|
|Members||Mecha Baron, Sergeant Volt, Aviator G, Knicicle Goon, Flail Goon, Fireaxe Goon, Das Kapibble, Hammer Goon, Mop Goon, Waffle Goon|
|Headquarters||Phi Manor, Margarine Mansion, and/or the Voulge|
The Mecha Goons are an unofficial intelligence agency slash police force. They are led by the mysterious Mecha Baron, and their goal is to track down and eliminate all injustice in the Antarctic continent, without assistance from government agencies like the EPF.
Any attempts by federal governments to detain the Mechas have only been met with large bribes, so no one really ever interferes with their work. And most of the time, it's a good thing, too.
History and Members
The Mecha Goons were founded by Lord Harold von Injoface, aka Mecha Baron, in late 2002, in the early years of the USA. The initial members of the group were Aviator G, the baron's personal butler, and Sergeant Volt, a longtime friend of Mecha Baron. The three set out to recruit an elite team of warriors that could fight their way through any mission.
The group now consists of the original three members, five skilled fighters, and two robots.
Personalities and Roles
- Mecha Baron (real name: Lord Harold von Injoface) -- The mysterious leader and founder of the group. Mecha Baron is very cold and calculated, always thinking of plans to take out various crime rings and shady organizations. He tends to focus on the big picture and formulate master plans that tie all the entire group's operations together. Mecha Baron is also very rich and provides much of the funding for the group's projects.
- Aviator G (real name: Gil) -- The butler and assistant of Mecha Baron. Aviator G aspires to get a pilot's license, which is why he is nicknamed "Aviator". Aviator G is a Waddle G, and is thus very obedient and loyal to Mecha Baron and the group. Unfortunately, he's also clumsy and annoying, and can sometimes get the Goons into sticky situations, a lot like Rookie. Nevertheless, he is skilled with his hands and has built many robots and devices to assist the group on their travels. Mop Goon was created by him as a robotic janitor for the Voulge, before Sergeant Volt modified him to shoot mops at intruders.
- Sergeant Volt (real name: James Blitherin Volt III) -- A friend of Mecha Baron who assisted him in creating electronically-controlled weapons that revolutionized the world of warfare. Volt is a former electrical engineer and soldier of the Colonial Antarctica Revolutionist group. He is very fierce and aggressive and often bosses the Goons around in order to get his way. Volt is also obsessed with destroying the opposition, sometimes taking skirmishes too seriously and ordering the complete, absolute destruction of the enemy, even if it is time-wasting and unnecessary. He fights with an electrolaser, which uses a laser to create a plasma channel, then sends an electric current through the channel to the target. Volt's electrolaser can be used to disable electronic devices and knock out enemies, but it is unsafe to use it during a thunderstorm.
- Knicicle Goon (real name: Phonos Calculus Demos) -- A tough, serious Sparkan who serves as the second-in-command to Mecha Baron and Sergeant Volt. He commands all the other Goons during missions, and plans out the details of every single operation the Mecha Goons undertake. In contrast to Mecha Baron, who lays out the master plans, Knicicle Goon is more concerned with the details of every mission. He fights with a Knicicle, and his gadget is a dual blowtorch/mist-sprayer. The blowtorch melts parts of the Knicicle, while the mist sprayer sprays a fine mist of supercooled water, which freezes onto the Knicicle instantly. This allows Knicicle Goon to reshape his weapon frequently.
- Flail Goon (real name: Newton Joole Howitzair) -- Ever the manipulative Snoss soldier, Flail Goon is an artillery expert who directs the weapons system of the Voulge -- that means the entire array of KEI Cannons, Turret 1 (a powerful double-barrel cannon), and two triple-battery missile launchers. Flail Goon prefers working in the background rather than fighting directly, saying that this philosophy allows for more control over situations. This seems to be true, as his management of the Voulge's weaponry requires him to be on board the ship at all times, but grants him a lot of power, as Flail Goon has over 20 artillery pieces at his command, and he can direct his firepower wherever he wishes. Control is a central part of Flail Goon's weapon of choice, as well -- he fights with a mace/flail hybrid, which is extremely difficult to control due to the weight of the spiked ball on the end of the chain. Flail Goon is able to control the flail with the use of technology -- instead of having to swing the chain around himself, a powerful electric motor inside the handle does the spinning for him. Flail Goon also tends to be manipulative, swaying the other Mecha Goons to his opinion. However, what he doesn't realize is that Mecha Baron is simply using him to do the swaying for him, and any ideas Flail Goon has that the baron disagrees with are simply shut out.
- Fireaxe Goon (real name: Alpha Sum) -- The pyrotechnician in the Mecha Goons and a member of the Shock Team, the three Goons that always lead an offense. Fireaxe Goon was created as part of a government experiment in EmotiVille, to test whether hybrid EmotiCons are stable enough to live normal lives. He and the other experiments were given to foster families, and the family that adopted him happened to have expertise in pyrotechnics. Fireaxe Goon was taught the trade and became a master of the art, joining the volunteer fire department as well. He was hired by the USA military to make ordnance (that is, explosives like mines, grenades, missiles, and bombs) for them, before Mecha Baron spotted his talent and recruited him into the group. His weapons of choice are the fire axe (introduced to him during his service as a volunteer firefighter) and various handheld explosives.
- Das Kapibble (nickname: Cutter Goon, though his real name is used more often) -- An economist, strong capitalist, and a leader in the mining industry, Das is the son of a wealthy mining tycoon, and he rose to become his father's second-in-command of the company. He installed a harsh, brutal capitalist regime, allowing workers little to no rights and inciting tensions from them. His anger was at first vented on the workers for disrupting the order, but his father helped him to make use of his drive and turn it into productivity. Das decided to become a mercenary -- a warrior for hire. He was eventually recruited as part of the Shock Team by Sergeant Volt, whom he had previously met as a supplier of doped silicon needed for Volt's electronics ventures. Das fights with a specialized boomerang that is shaped like a slashed letter S ($), which is an unknown symbol not used for anything in the Antarctic writing system. He constantly argues with the communist and socialist Hammer Goon.
- Hammer Goon (real name: unknown) -- Hammer Goon, like Aviator G, originates from Bugzy's forces in the UPM. Hammer Goon left the UPM to spread communism throughout the land, though no one really paid a lot of attention to him besides East Pengolia. Eventually he resorted to becoming a mercenary and became skilled with his war hammer. Meanwhile, the Mecha Goons were getting sick of Das Kapibble's newly-enforced, "no workers' rights", overly-capitalist rules. Desperate, Mecha Baron and Aviator G went out to search for an elite communist mercenary to help balance things out. They found what they were looking for exactly where they expected it -- in East Pengolia. Hammer Goon was rallying workers to overthrow the last capitalist, West Pengolia-controlled factory in East Pengolian territory. Unfortunately, recruiting Hammer Goon didn't do much to help the situation -- nowadays, Das Kapibble and Hammer Goon constantly bicker, reducing the effectiveness of the Shock Team. (Sergeant Volt still misses the extreme capitalist policies, because he claimed it put the other Goons in their "proper place".)
- Mop Goon (real name: pending) -- Mop Goon is the janitor of the Voulge. He is a robot built by Aviator G to clean the insides of the Voulge (and Mecha Baron's residence) to keep it looking tidy and neat. However, Mop Goon was reprogrammed and modified by Sergeant Volt. Ever the warmonger, Volt modified Mop Goon to shoot wet, heavy mops at enemies. Mop Goon is also able to squirt a slippery mixture of soap and water, as well as pressurized jets of steam. Before Waffle Goon was built, Volt used Mop Goon to forcefully remove Aviator G from important meetings.
- Waffle Goon -- Waffle Goon is a mechanical waffle. Yes, you read that right. Waffle Goon's main job is to distract Aviator G and lure him away from important meetings between the other Goons. Waffle Goon has eight spidery legs that allow it to crawl around, and a built-in camera helps it see where it's going. It evens emits the scent of a waffle to make it seem more realistic. After Waffle Goon was destroyed by Aviator G (he actually tried to eat it), it was rebuilt as a spy bot -- because no one expects a half-eaten waffle to do espionage. Waffle Goon can camouflage itself and, in the case of an emergency, retract its legs and camera and appear to be nothing less than a freshly cooked waffle. (Aviator G still thinks it's real. He's weird like that.)
MORE COMING SOON!
The Mecha Goons are after just about every single crime ring, illegal organization, and evildoing group in the Antarctic. They work by analyzing the relationships between their targets and the local economy. Then they initiate a devious plan, weakening certain areas of the relationship system and creating tensions within the criminal organization, until the target loses stability and is exposed and/or dissolved. The group relies on psychological warfare (like propaganda and disinformation) to trick their targets into believing certain ideas and thus influencing their choices, as well as manipulating the economy in ways that are mostly harmful to the target organization and have small effects on the public.
MORE COMING SOON!
- They are a parody of the Meta-Knights from the Kirby series.
- The only organization that is not in danger from the Mecha Goons is the UPM. This is likely due to Aviator G not wanting his race to be disturbed or harmed, since they are an integral part of Bugzy's forces.
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