Mwa Mwa Penguin
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A "Mwa Mwa Penguin" (Pygoscelis adeliae turpitudo), Bay Bee, or a Pookie is a subspecies of Adelie Penguin usually identified by their clamoring for a parent. They aren't actually chicks, but fully grown penguins dubbed insane. The only known cure for Mwa Mwaism is Nummy Cakes.
They are infamous for their lack of proper English. Most Mwa Mwa Penguins are located in the Pet Shop, which conveniently doubles as an orphanage. Mwa Mwa penguins often "see" pets, such as a puppy, kitten, etc. They act like human babies (how do they even know what human babies act like?) and are usually curious. Mwa Mwa Penguins are also extremely vulnerable to minor things and are easily scared. Approach with caution. Most Mwa Mwa Penguins eventually obtain a parent... too bad for them. If they are taken to an igloo with furniture, they may knock it down or do other nasty things with it. For some reason,they are mostly seen at night. Soon after being "adopted" the penguin will usually leave them in some way, and return to the Pet Shop for more. Some Mwa Mwa Penguins will pretend to "grow up" and will change their clothes to normal clothing and speak proper English. They usually do this at a random time or moment. Obviously, if this happens they will no longer beg for a parent. They are dubbed Mentally insane by most, as they are fully grown and yet pretend to be chicks.
Some penguins try to knock some sense into them, and hurt them, kidnapp them, scare them, and make them cry. Some even try to feed them to skuas, but skuas eat fish, not pookies.
Since Mwa Mwa Penguins are incompetent and cannot take care of themselves, they feel the need to make their way to the local Pet Shop. There, they will try to get adopted by a Mother or a Father (known as mumu's or duh duh's). They will also try to get a brother or sister, and sometimes even a pet. They will do annoying things to draw attention from the Parents who are planning to adopt (see Techniques). When they are picked by an idiotic Mother or Father, they will grab hold to them and the Parent will carry them back to their Igloo. Oftentimes, the Parent will adopt many Mwa Mwa Penguins, only to dispose of them a short time later.
When the Mwa Mwa gets back to the Igloo, they will be (somewhat) content; but not for long. The Mwa Mwa Penguin will cry, and pretend to act like a real chick, but ten times the amount of crying, whining, pooping, and ten times more spoiled. They grow unhappy easily, and will run away and return to the Pet Shop soon after they are adopted, where they will try to find a new family.
In very rare cases, they will "grow up" (even though they already are), and dress up in normal clothes and speak in proper English. Unfortunately, most of the time they will revert to a Mwa Mwa Penguin once again and return to the Pet Shop.
Many Mwa Mwas refuse to be adopted by anyone but a "rich" parent or are prejudiced about what gender their parent must be.
Since Mwa Mwas are desperate to be adopted, they have mastered five primary forms of getting unsuspecting penguins to adopt them. The first and foremost is lying. They will often say things such as "is wittle miss cp", "sits in box that says BURN" (this also falls under the 'pity' category, and it often provokes penguins to actually burn them), or "just got out of hospital". Mwa Mwa Penguins are naturally compulsive liars, which is a side affect of their insanity. Combined with luring and competitions, this is the most common technique.
The second method is repitition. If lying did not avail, then the Mwa Mwa would proceed to cry, whine, scream, complain, and lie some more. Constant cries of "pwick me", "wants a mu-mu", or "needs a rich mama/dada" annoy penguins to the verge of adopting them. This is probobly the most annoying method, but combined with pity it is the most effective. Unsuspecting penguins, going to the Pet Shop for Pet Food, will usually get distracted and forget what they are there for. Then, the Mwa Mwa Penguins will annoy them to the verge of adopting them. It is advised that Penguins with weak wills should steer clear of their local pet shop on busy evenings.
The third method is pity. They will sit and cry and gripe and complain about how they've never known their Mother, or how they are useless. Their eyes well up with tears and they go to a corner or secluded place and weep crocodile tears. This usually results in someone coming up and asking them "What's wrong?" and they explain they've never been picked and then they will be adopted. Any "Tum Tum" Mwa Mwa Penguins should be immediately reported.
Possibly the most common method is luring. The Mwa Mwa will dress up in 'cute' clothes and head on down to the Pet Shop. They will act 'cute' by talking in Chick-talk, doing clumsy things, and luring the Mothers in by using the flower emote. They usually will carry a stuffed bear or a toy. Though all Mwa Mwa Penguins try to dress 'cute', this method involves relying on their looks to get picked. They usually begin their words in capital letters and end almost all their sentences with exclamation points, and have slightly better grammar than other Mwa Mwa Penguins. Mwa Mwa Penguins using the luring technique say things like "Giggles Strawberry Bubbles of Dove!", "Floats In On Wittle Cloud!", "Looks Up With Rare Ice Blue Eyes!", or "Sits In Pink Basket Full Of Rare Flowers!".
Another form is competitions. Contests such as Wittle Miss CP often give a prize of a Mother. Even if they don't win, they will often return to the Pet Shop and tell everyone they are Wittle Miss CP. This is also lying; many of the Mwa Mwas who say they are Wittle Miss CP actually aren't. They usually talk in all capital letters, act like "divas", pretend to be "models", and dance to draw attention to themselves. Most Mwa Mwas using this method are girls, and will only want a rich Mother.
There are also other uncommon methods of calling up attention. The Mwa Mwa Penguin will live in a Forest, or wander around your local town, pretending to be lost. Someone will take pity on them and adopt them. Another way is called "Tum Tum". The Mwa Mwa Penguin will find a "Tum Tum Hospital", where they will pretend to be a Human baby being delivered. This is illegal; since Director Benny does not approve of Humans.
Slang and Translation
- Mwa Mwa/Wammy/mommy/mwommy/mumu = Mother
- Dah Dah/da da/duh duh/Doddy/Waddy = Father
- Iggy/Igwoo = Igloo
- Hwi/Wello/Wewo = Hi
- Woo= You
- Broder= Brother
- Sissy/Sissa/Sista/Wista= Sister
- Tank woo= Thank you
- Booboo= Injury
- Wuppy/uppy= Puppy
- Wug/Wugz= Hug/Hugs
- Hungwy= Hungry
- Toesies = toes
- Wittle= Little
- Fwipper/Ipper/Wipper= Flipper
- Meanie(bo beanie)= Mean Penguin
- Uppy Uppy = Wanting to be picked up
- Pookie=Noun, it is usually what they call themselves. It can also be an Adjective, used to describe cuteness
- Ploopy=Insult, meaning unknown
- Kwittycat- Kitty cat
- Dippie= Diaper(usually)
- Bai Bai/bay bee= baby
I loves chocwates. Chocwates is yummy. I wove to sing songs and eat pwie.
This an expemplary quote of the Mwa Mwa Penguin dialect. Normal penguins can speak this as part of the Japalandese dialects.
Notable Mwa Mwa Penguins
- Manny Peng - A very weird Mwa Mwa Penguin, who is currently in Owcatraz being tormented by Mabel.
- Billy Jamie - A pookie who Is a PASCAR driver, and is very rude.
- Joey - One of Manny's weird friends. He is being treated in Zürich.
- Mah Boi (penguin) - She has been doing this all her life.
- Cutiekins No explanation needed!
- Tracy Valley - she was transformed by force.
Along with Mwa Mwa Penguins come a whole leigon of slaves and staff of all kinds. Penguins would come to the pet shop and have penguins "hire" them to help with their Mwa Mwa Penguins. Usually the people who hire them pretend to have great wealth.
- Butler: Butlers are often Hired by penguins. They come to clean the igloo, pretend to make food, ask who it is when a penguin enters, and they sometimes help with a Mwa Mwa Penguin.
- Maid: Maids are like butlers, however, they are always females and they clean.
- Chef/Cook: Chefs (sometimes called cooks) are penguins who are hired to "make food" for the owner of the igloo.
- Creepy Butler: They have the same duties as a standard butler. They commonly speak in third person language, and refer to their owner as "master" or "mistress". Many babies are afraid of these. They may be based off of various detective stories, of which "the butler did it". These have a nineteenth century air about them, and often dress in a similar manner.
The Destroy Mwa Mwa Penguins group, simply known as DMMP, is an anti-Mwa Mwa Penguin activist group that aims to exterminate all Mwa Mwa Penguins. Founded in 2007 by notable anti-Mwa Mwa extremist Drake, the DMMP has a recruited 95,000 "mercenaries". Based in Club Penguin, the group also has offices in South Pole City, Shiverpool, Pengu Town and Penguville. The group usually organizes protests against Mwa Mwas and publicity stunts.
The DMMP was founded by Drake in 2007 after he finally decided to do something about the Mwa Mwa Penguin problem
The Mwa Mwa Resistance, abbreviated MMR, is a resistance created exclusively for getting rid of Mwa Mwa penguins. All penguins angainst pookies (either Good or Evil).
Club Penguin's Pet Shop. I pity the current owner of the buisness.
Ways to get penguins to stop "adopting" them
Penguins have figured out how to make penguins stop "adopting" Mwa Mwa Penguins.
- Pretend to be one, and destroy the adopter's house. Most common; the disguised ones speak properly.
- Say is nicest Pookie in shop, then be rude to so-called 'mu mu' and ruin her day.
- Storm the pet shop with a couple of buddies in dragon/ghost/monster costumes and scatter them.
- Tell the "mumu's" reasons that that they shouldn't adopt one. (This almost never works, nobody believes these people)
- Slendar enjoys pranking them.
- Xlendar doesn't trust them, despite being a superhero.
- Some Mwa Mwa Penguins were members of the Str00del Force, but left when they started fighting against Darktan.
- Mwa Mwas often want Petguins.
- A method of trickery some penguins use is putting on the Ghost Sheet and yelling, "BOO!!!".
- They're also afraid of Ninjas and dragons.
- They try to sneak into the borders of Scoodlepeep, like Petguin's
- Their freaked out by Time Penguins.
- They're in the Penguin World Records for most annoying.
- Some Mwa Mwas join in contests usually called "wittle miss cp", the prize is usually a "wammy".
- Mwa Mwa Penguins are illegal in Freezeland and Flywish Island. This falls under the category of "extremely undesired nuisances" and is punishable by infinite banning upon second offence.
- Most Mwa Mwa Penguins are scared of Raven.
- Ever since Mwa Mwa Penguins overran Club Penguin's Pet Shop, sales have dropped 800%, and the building has had ten different owners.
- Some penguins try to rid the Pet Shop of Mwa Mwas by sending them so another destination to be adopted, this fails one hundred percent of the time.
- At the pressure of TurtleShroom, there has been heavy consideration of issuing capital punishment (the
deathdeletion penalty) on Mwa Mwa Penguins in the Clubb Phengin Weekee.
- Recently, Mwa Mwas have been captured and sold as slaves in the black market.
- If a penguin tries to talk sense into a Mwa Mwa, they will think you are bothering them.
- Fanonbot thinks they are dolls.
- The Purple Republic can easily make them cry and flee away, and so they're "mwu mwus".
- Mwa Mwa virus is new to mwa mwa penguins it makes there brains shrink and later shrivels up and falls of and kills the mwa mwa penguin.
- Translation: The Mwa-Mwa virus has been recently discovered by them. When affected, your brain will shrink and shrivel up, resulting the immediate death of the infected.
- In Trans-Antarctica, there was a Great Mwa-Mwa Extinction, due to the fact they were thrown down the 9001 steps.
- The Y-Virus creates Mwa Mwa clones of penguins.
- Being a Mwa Mwa is a capital offence in Magonia and Azukri, but this has never been enforced in practice in the former.