Nuke Island

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The Snoss Territory of the Uranium Isles
Flag of Nuke Island
Motto"Kablooka"
AnthemThe Nuke Song
Emblem
Location of Nuke Island
The island at sundown, seen from a slight distance.
Largest factory RDA Weapons Complex
Species  All penguins
Government Territory
 -  Territorial governor The "Honorable" Mahmonahmon Jeeneehod, Duke of Nuke
Snoss territory
Calling code 000
Heavily polluted, covered in waste
Footnotes While nuclear power plants emit no air pollution, nuclear weapon plants do, hence the air problems and billowing smokestacks.

Nuke Island is a top secret Snoss island in the Sub Antarctic near the coast of Trans-Antarctica. On the island consists 20 Nuclear Power Plants that produce electricity for the ToS and also create Nuclear Weapons, all owned by Snowzerland. The surrounding waters around this place is full of toxic waste, and that's why SN didn't want to put the power plants on his island because of the strict conservation laws.

History[edit]

A cartographer's depiction of the general shape of Nuke Island, without depicting industrial complexes, pollution, or anything else. The darker grey area represents the main mines of the island.

Before the Snoss arrived to build the power plants, Nuke Island was uninhabited and barren. It has many minerals though, and is plentiful with the natural resources of radium and uranium. It was an ideal spot for the Snoss to build their uranium mines, power plants, and, most importantly, their weapons factories.

Administration[edit]

The island is governed as a Snoss territory. The governor's name is Mahmonahmon Jeeneehod (pronounced "MA-MOND-AH-MUN GENIE-HOD"), and he is a shady, brown, and unmarried player with several mistresses (AKA girlfriends, AKA concubines) and a scraggly beard. He is untrusted by everyone except Swiss Ninja, and he maintains his rule with an iron fist. He doesn't actually do much except inspect the power plants and weaponry. Most of the time, he's flirting with his mistresses in his air-filtered, purified-water containing, non-polluted, heated palace on the back of the island. There are military personnel who also help govern the island; their commander usually appoints three representatives (loyal soldiers of the upper ranks) who represent Nuke Island in Snowzerland's Federal Legislature.

Peaceful domestic purposes?[edit]

Swiss Ninja originally asserted that there were no weapons of mass destruction on Nuke Island, despite the name. All uranium mined was put into the nuclear power plants of the island, it was alleged.

Of course, Swiss WAS harboring weapons there. He launched many waves on various targets and threatened to do more if they didn't give in. He was fortunately thwarted by Dave, Leonardo, Clovis, and some others, but the repercussions in regards to an unprecedented nuclear attack- nukes are considered far worse than deletion -resulted in harsh action by the USA.

It is wondered, though, why Swiss Ninja didn't use these scores of thermonuclear warheads as blackmail. He could threaten the USA do give to his demands, and if they didn't, he'd nuke their pants off. He also could have saved himself from defeat by launching each missile separately, but he was too miserly to budget such an expensive process (solid gold jacuzzis cost money, folks), which is why all the missiles in the first wave were guided by a "flagship" missile with a beacon.
The second, third, fourth, and fifth waves were not thwarted as dramatically as the first (ever ridden a cruise missile?), but they too were stopped, averting MAD counter-strikes (with deletion weapons) on the innocent Snoss at the expense of their power-crazed ruler.

Song[edit]

Main article: EPF_Agents_Dave_and_Clovis#Chapter_6:Snoss_Base_Blowout, EPF_Agents_Dave_and_Clovis#THE_NUKE_SONG,

Right before Swiss Ninja tried to launch weapons of mass destruction, he made a music video about it. (EGO.)

Regardless, the "Nuke Island Theme" is still quite popular.

MELODY


Islands, realms, and all the rest...
...soon you'll learn just who's the best...
All shall bow to Snoss Regime
When they see our greatest scheme.

Noo'clur weaponry
Noo'clur weaponry
WMDs to the left and right!

Noo'clur weaponry
Everybody soon will see!
Fire those bombs
'Till our neighbors hand their sov'reign rights!

It's his plan! Kaiser's Dream!
Using noo'clur weaponry...

This is the big one loaded with dread.
Megatons that'll leave you DEAD.

These are the ones dropped from the air.
Levelling towns and bringing dispair.

Noo'clur weaponry
Noo'clur weaponry
Weaponry! Weaponry!
WMD!

This island, where nukes go,
The Kaiser's reign will make its show.

WE GOT NUKES!
DON'T YOU FEAR US NOW?
EVERYBODY'S WAITING FOR THE SNOSS SURPRISE!

Weapons, weapons,
Giving mass destruction!
Soon they'll be launching so let us hear the other nations
SCREAM!

Noo'clur weaponry
Mushroom clouds
Fallout and things!

AREN'T YOU SCARED?

Well that's just fine!
Nuke 'em once
Nuke 'em twice
If they don't give nuke 'em thrice

Annexed to the Snoss in their horrid plight.

It's the Kaiser's dream!
It's the Kaiser's dream!

Weapons of mass destruction...

This is the missile that can beat any race!
Super fast and BOOM without a trace!

This is the stuff
In the nuke fallout.
Cancer, death,
Radiation's all there.

This is the cold that'll follow right.
Even for the poles it's a bone-chilled plight.

Noo'clur weaponry
Noo'clur weaponry
Weaponry! Weaponry!
WMD! WMD!
(Weaponry weaponry!)

Nu'clur warheads everywhere...
Deterrents and a weapon as well.

Hail Swiss N.-
-and his regime
All bow to his weaponry.

Mushroom clouds!
Don't forget those now!
It'll be every other realm's
DEMISE!

S. N.'s back
-and he's singing this track so SCREAM
he'll nuke your pants off
-and 'twill be your
END!
Noo'clur weaponry

USA make way
For a very special guy.

Kaiser Swiss
Is king and will rule you all
Everyone hail to our lord's great nukes now!

Noo'clur weaponry
Noo'clur weaponry
Weaponry! Weaponry!
Weaponry! Weaponry!

LA! LA! LA!
LA LA LA! LA!
LA! LA LA LA!
LA LA!
LA LA LAAAAAAAA- {massive explosions}

Yeah.

Resources[edit]

  • Nuclear Weapons!