PWN Missile

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PWN Missile
You got Pwned!!!
Type Illegal weapon
Effects Pwnage
Source Black Market
Location Black Market
Cost to buy 20000 pebbles
Cost to sell 2000 pebbles

PWN Missiles are explosive weapons that, when launched, are sent into the future to PWN a target sent forward in time. Or, in other words, PWN Missiles attack their victims later, as oppsoed to now. They are currently illegal in every state and nation except Double Sicilia, but they are abundant and relatively low-priced on the Black Market.


One day a penguin in the BOF's Department of Time was getting bullied at work too much. So he went to his lab and invented a PWN Missile in secret. He took a Time Gear and a Procrastinator, and combined them into the shell of a basic missle. He made copies of it and used it on those who picked on him. Since the missiles are shot forward in time, the BOF did not catch on to his shennanigans until several employees reported broken bones and fractured limbs a year later. When it was traced back to him, he was fired, but he began to illegally sell PWN Missiles afterwards. Flywish and Bugzy became eager customers.


The missle would shoot forward in time, blow up in the future, leaving that person PWNED when that happened. For example, setting a PWN Missile to fire eight years in the future would launch it, and it would vanish into the Fourth Dimension. It would seek its target and reappear eight years later, PWNing them. The target would never know what hit them. PWN Missiles carry the advantage of being tracable only to creatures capable of tiem travelling or in possession of time travel equipment, such as a Time Penguin.

Despite their significant advantages of stealth and surprise, they do not pack as much of a punch as one would desire.
Currently, no PWN Missile is capable of killing or deleting a target, but they can render said target immobile and send them into a world of hospitalization-required hurt.


  • Flywish - utilizes them as a delayed strike in his army. He wheels them in when no one is looking and launches them into the future, set at about a month. The suspect would be hit with a PWN Missile and never know where it came from.
  • Bugzy - Bugzy knew the benefits of these weapons the moment he heard of them. The Mafia prefers to have them handy in case "customers" stop paying "protection". Instead of having to go and "persuade" the customer, they can simply fire a PWN Missile to, say, a week after they become delinquent on their payments. That'll teach them.
  • Yorkay Porkay - she these to destroy Mwa Mwas in her army. Still, they have proven ineffective, since she wants to attack them now, not a few months ahead.

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