Painful Bear

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Painful Bear
Painful Bear image.jpg
Darktan's Enforcer
Title Strong, Muscly Bear
Gender Male
Race Polar Bear
Faction Darktan's Army
Health ???
Level ???
Status Alive
Location Darktonian Realm

The Painful Bear (Scientific Name: Lacertosus Bovis, Latin for Muscly Bully) is a merciless, clumsy creature that prides itself on its brute strength, able to lift very heavy objects that normal creatures cannot lift. Commanded by Herbert Horror, these thugs enjoy breaking things, and gettings into fights. One of their downsides, however, is that they aren't very intelligent, and they do numerous acts of stupidity either on purpose, or accidental. Painful Bear appearances are black polar bears, usually wearing a black toque, and a navy blue nose. Unlike their Sargent, Painful Bears rarely eat Doom Weeds whatsoever, and prefer a diet of Burgers and Pizza, however, due to the strict rules Darktan places, Painful Bears must eat the Doom Weeds, but they mix the plant in with the foods they like. They are usually called in for robbing Pizza Parlours and doing tasks that require muscle. They are considered the "bullies" of Darktan's army.


Darktan needed strong creatures for his army, so he asked LEEPB for assistance, since Polar Bears are one of the most muscle-bound creatures in the USA. Herbert offered his assistance, and called his relatives from the North Pole. A conclave of bears were sent on an iceberg, its destination being the USA. Herbert offered these strong bears to Darktan, and they were put to the test. Darktan summoned his dark powers to create a big boulder, and asked the bears if they could lift it. Sadly, they could not, and Darktan wasn't pleased about this.

The bears however, were still welcomed and introduced to the army. Herbert Horror wanted to help the bears by offering them a seat at the Dining Table, and showed them the Doom Weeds. The bears tried them, and didn't really like the taste. However, they started to change, and felt stronger than before. Herbert Horror asked Darktan if he would let them attempt to lift the boulder again. After 10 minutes of trying to convince him, Darktan agreed to the offer.

Darktan set the task to the bears once again, and they lifted the boulder with ease, then threw it into the ocean. Darktan was happy about this, and ordered the bears to rob from certain shops for extra money, since Darktan believed World Domination was not cheap. The bears were more than oblidged to exact the task at hand, and robbed many shops from Pengolia, Dorkugal, and SubDay. The earnings were converted into coin currency, and the bears ended up with 500,000 coins.

They took the coins back to their new master, and Darktan was surprised, yet gleeful about how much money the bears stole. Darktan planned to buy a Doomsday device with the money, but was stopped, since The Keepers found out Darktan's plans, and took back the money that was stolen, and it was given back to all the shops in the USA. Darktan was enraged by this, but the heist was not in vain however, and Darktan made the bears members of his army. Since they dealt a lot of damage, and liked to break things, Darktan thus named them "Painful Bears".


Painful Bears are mainly located around the streets of the USA. They never go alone, and if they decide to rob a store, they usually bring gangs of Painful Bears with them. Painful Bears cause all sorts of problems around the USA, and are not meant to be trifled with. They are very obnoxious, and love showing off their strength to others. They do not get along with penguins, since most of them are intelligence, while the Painful Bears lack in that department. Painful Bears only come to the Darktonian Realm in case they need to stash loot there, or to give gifts to their master.

Confirmed Painful Bear locations are;

Rumoured Painful Bear locations are;


See also[edit]