Patricia Prae

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Patricia Prae
Born May 6th, 199X
Mattress Village
Gender Female
Nationality Antarctican
Education Traditional Unoian gender roles
Occupation Diplomat
Years active 2009-Present
Home town Mattress Village
Height 3' 8''
Known for Member of "The Chosen Ones", survived a kidnapping, a complete command of diplomacy, devout adherence to the oldest of Unoian traditions, honorary MVBC member, saved the world, SkyBound
Title Patricia the Peacemaker

Speaker.png Click here to listen to Patricia Prae's theme!

Patricia Prae, also called Patricia the Peacemaker, and usually addressed as Patricia, is a young, Unoian chick that, alongside several others, was chosen to defend the Bureau of Fiction from Baldurshroom.

She is a caring and very slow-to-anger creature with a heart of gold and a special gift in convincing others to show grace and mercy, and she, too, exhibits those noblest of traits. Even Porkchop, who kidnapped her, seems to be okay in the eyes this penguin, which is really saying something. She is a Super Penguin with decent psychic abilities, but is actually better at healing and simple conversation skills. Of the Chosen Ones, she is the weakest but the fastest, and seems to be the most durable when she was forced to fight. Before meeting Ned and the rest of the gang, she was kidnapped by the Cult of Weirdology, which had been hijacked by Porkchop as an instrument of evil and funds for his ultimate goal.

She is a master cook- able to whip up classic Unoian dishes to restore both the HP and energy of her friends -and is known for her gentle, kind voice and thick accent.

She was instrumental in stopping Baldurshroom, relying on her diplomacy skills and kindness to reason with him and to encourage Valerie forwards, comemnding her eventual sacrifice.

Overview[edit]

Patricia hatched in the backwards world of Mattress Village sometime in the late-1990s. Due to Mattress Village's lack of efficient recordkeeping, Paula's birth certificate reads This Sixth Thursday of May, in the Year Anno Domini 199X. Historians claim that she probably hatched between the years 1998 and 2000, making her anywhere between eleven and nine years of age in her final showdown against Baldurshroom.

Mattress Village has strange conceptions of "gender roles" in their city. The Mattress Village Board of Censors has become more "liberal" since 1980, removing most "no-girls-allowed" rules for all jobs, except the government. They still insist that female penguins wear skirts instead of pants or no pants (as men are free to do), and while they can't be arrested for wearing pants, they are still looked down on. This lifestyle effected Patricia and her views on female penguins' movements. She frowns on the idea of females "asserting" themselves and has disdain for feminism in general. One will never catch Patricia in something as daring as pants, or even a shorter skirt.

Patricia's family was very old school when it came to raising. Paula was a female, so she learned homemaking skills like cooking, sewing, and life skills like compassion, kindness, humility, servitude, and selflessness. When she was but four, her family was surprised to learn that she had psychic abilities, and so they were faced with a choice. Were they going to embrace this as a gift from a higher power? Or, was this an unclean curse on their city and their family?

Thankfully, the Prae family chose the former and encouraged Patrica to use her "gift", as they called it, to serve others. She didn't focus much on attacks as summoning fire or calling forth telekinesis or levitation. Patricia preferred, rather, to use her gift as an extension of her natural personality.

She began mastering the ability to heal with these powers. Her first shot at it was but two years later, when a penguin named Ned hurt himself climbing in a tree. She healed his wound and went on her way. (This was the first time she would see Ned.)


Time aged, and so did Patricia, but she never strayed from her raising. She never got a formal education, but she learned all of life's lessons from just being herself, as cliche as that was. The gentle, caring penguin was loved by her hometown and respected by elders and youth alike.

She revived the virtually dead Unoian tradition of kneeling with an item and supplicating The Ones for favor. She remembered that they could do good as well as bad, and entertained the thought that the "sky programmers" might be good people, or creatures, or whatever. Elders were impressed that she even knew of that technique, much less used it. A revival of the practice followed up, and some say that Mattress Village's prosperity began to surge because of Patricia.


If that wasn't enough, the young Patricia became a mighty orator. Her voice could halt the worst of arguments. Her words could sway even the most stubborn of penguins. Her logic could convince any bird, and her speeches could win any audience. If she wanted to, she could have led a nation with a microphone, so great was she in conversation, but she felt that politics was best to be left to the males.

Patricia, though, still made her mark on Unoian governance. Her gifted oration helped usher in a new, golden era of gender equality in the city. For the first time, thanks to this chick prodigy, females were permitted to chair non-governing committees (e.g. they could join the budget, the rules, the prohibition, etc. etc. etc., but couldn't be mayor) and speak directly in meetings (as opposed to getting a nearby male or usher to repeat her motion). Patricia never asked for this, but the MVBC saw that if Patricia could speak like that, maybe other females were so blessed as well. Feminists and leftists rejoiced, and itt didn't end there. Patricia helped mend relations between two warring familes and even helped the city agree to have a bigger budget, from 125,000 pebbles to 500,000 pebbles. She negotiated a pay raise for every government employee and was pretty much destined to either take over the city or Antarctica, simply because she was so darn nice.


In the 2000s, Asteroid 1995 Itoi struck to the north of Mattress Village. Patricia wanted to go, but her mother said it was far too dangerous for a young girl as her to travel that distance, even with psychic abilities. She agreed reluctantly, but wished whoever had gone out to see it luck, again, supplicating to The Ones for favor. (Her item of choice was an airplane, since it involved the sky.) The kids- Ned and Porkchop -came and went, and learned of The Chosen Ones. Porkchop scoffed at the idea and Ned began to prepare.


Porkchop, after that, vanished for a while. Patricia was one of the first (after his family) to notice he was gone. Concerned, she decided to set out looking for him one day. She got her parents' permission and did just that. Travelling in the mountainous forests to the west, she came across Porkchop... -and a lot of creepy goons around him. They were literally rolling in money and had large stacks of video tapes, DVDs, and books to the side, with plenty of stamps and envelopes. It seemed to be the headquarters of one of those "buy my book" con-advertisements.

Patricia nearly dismissed it, until she noticed that some of the creepy goons were dancing around a bonfire and impaling waffles in some sort of ritual, and Porkchop, dressed in long blue robes, seemed to be orchestrating it. Patricia wasn't able to leave in time. The weirdos grabbed her, and Porkchop had her tied up to a chair. He explained that he had taken over the Cult of Weirdology and was going to use its wealth to finance his own proud version of destiny, better than what he was Chosen for. Leaving to con more world-class suckers, the Weirdos tried to convert her to the Ernie way. She didn't buy it for a second, but endured a week of agonizing scams, waffle recipes, cheesy campfire songs, lack of sleep, and brainwashing attempts. It was like a blur to the poor penguin.

She snapped out of her trance when the same penguin she had healed years back, Ned, came to her aid and freed her from Porkchop's clutches, after an entertaining fight. The heroes escaped, and Ned explained to Patricia about his quest and about the asteroid. She, too, was Chosen! In her usual fashion, Paula humbly accepted her destiny and joined Ned on his quest. After saving her from those creeps, she owed Ned. (...-and she thought Ned was sort of cute, too.)

The pious penguin joined Ned on his quest, where she proved indispensible with her healing powers, cooking abilities, and, ultimately her supplication habit that ended up saving the world.

When her quest was over, Patricia returned to Mattress Village and grew to become a diplomat. She became a famous peacemaker and peacekeeper. When a country wanted something finished or resolved, they sent Patricia. She made her legacy that wand continued her happy life. According to the Time Agency, she married Ned in the end and had three adorable chicks.

Abilities[edit]

In battle and with Ned, Patricia aided the former and his partners with her special skills and talents. For reasons unknown, the Chosen Ones measured their health and statistics in numbers, such as "HP". Due to this, Patricia's abilities will be listed to that as well.

  • Heal
    • Patricia would go over to the injured friend and lay her flippers on him or her. A moment of recitation, and the friend would feel better, restoring their HP. She would then have to rest for a bit to regain her powers.
  • Cookbook
    • Patricia would whip out one of her assorted cookbooks and slam the enemy with it. The books were pulled out at random, and some were big others. The damage and pain inflicted differentiated with the book she used.
  • Cook
    • Patricia would pull out some portable cooking appliances and whip up a delicious meal. It took a while, but the end result was a large restoration of HP and a really good meal. She made a dish at random, ranging from a light snack to a full course dinner. The amount of HP restored depended on the item. Hwoever, after eating one of her meals (which were very fattening), the character could only use indirect attacks (like psychic powers or items), because he or she woudl be too weak and too full to get up and jump on the enemy's head, smash them with a baseball bat (or a hammer), or slap them around.
  • Selflessness
    • Patricia would get in front of a friend and take whatever attack was after him or her onto herself instead.
  • Sing
    • Patricia would sing a random song in her pure, angelic voice and cause various effects on various characters. Songs varied from her theme to Rick Astley. Depending on the tune, it could heal/reinvigorate her friends, bring an enemy to tears, convince an enemy to go forward (because their cause was noble), or just bring the enemy to applause, making them more vulnerable to attacks.
  • Psychic
    • Patricia would form a small ball of fire and throw it at the enemy. While it wasn't that strong, it could cause a long-term burning.
  • After defeat, spaghetti
    • She will cook some spaghetti for a friend that has been defeated, knocked out, or gravely wounded. This will revive them back to the fight, but with dangerously low HP.
  • Supplicate
    • Patricia's signature move: she would pull out a random item and beg The One associated with it to aid them in their battle. Depending on The One, various things would happen on the field or to characters, good and bad. This skill actually defeated Baldurshroom.

Trivia[edit]

  • She is a parody of Paula, from the Internet-adored game, Earthbound.
    • BONUS: her horribly unhealthy (but oh-so-delicious) cooking parodies Paula Deen.
  • Every Unoian loves Patricia. They just do. On that note, most everyone loves Patricia.
    • Except Porkchop and her enemies, of course.
  • So far, she has yet to hate anybody... even her kidnapper.
    • ...-but she hates "evil drinks".
  • Patricia found that she could convince other girls to her side better than she could other males.
  • Patricia has a crush on Ned.
  • She's a hugger. That can make some creatures feel uncomfortable.
  • Patricia, despite being very kind and gentle, can be very passionate on some topics. For example, one should never try and tell her that Cream Soda is "okay".
  • She assumes the good in everyone and seems to be, like many Unoians, very gullible and far too trusting of others. She's that sort of penguin that'll leave a to-go pizza, tip money, and her purse on a table to use the bathroom, and she'll expect it to be there when she comes back.
  • Attack-wise, she is by far the weakest of The Chosen Ones.
  • One of her cooking utensils was stolen by Private Eastshield.

See also[edit]