Phreaky Phriday

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Phreaky Phriday is a tale in which two characters, Mabel and Explorer 767, end up stuck in each other's bodies and learn about how hard each other's life can be. They learn a bit about each other in this time, as well as us, the audience.


Prologue[edit]

Explorer and Mabel were each in a hurry. It was Thursday, and they both had major events scheduled for the following day. Mabel had an entire family reunion at Charles' Key and Explorer had fan meetings, diplomacy, a debate meeting, to name the first four hours.


"FRED! HAVE YOU SEEN MY JUDICIAL ROBE?!"


"CLYDE?! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY MEDICATION? I NEED MY MEDICATION FOR THAT PROBLEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I SPEAK OF!"


Fred and Clyde looked up from their respective Calculus III and 101 Fat Jokes books.


"Explorer, if you misplaced it again-"


"Mabel, I didn't take your fat pills!"


"Fred, I need it for the big meeting tomorrow!"


"CLYDE, THEY'RE NOT FAT PILLS, YOU ♞﷼☢₪¿¶Я⏎◊™♞!"


"Explorer, it's in the closet!"


"Fine, I hid them in a bag of cheese puffs!"


"Thank you!"


"NO, NOT CHEESE PUFFS! YOU KNOW I HATE THOSE ♠₠♟±*-**--++⏎ THINGS!"


Mabel and Explorer ran to the respected areas of the igloo but collided with one-another.


"OUT OF MY WAY! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FREAKS LIKE YOU!"


"MABEL, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO ARGUE WITH YOU!"


"WELL, I HAPPEN TO HAVE A LOT OF &^%#&^#&%@$ THINGS TO DO TOMORROW! IT'S ALMOST 8:00 PM RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO SLEEP SOON!"


"YOU HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO TOMORROW?! YOU HAVE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY EVENTS!"


"OH PLEASE!" the shouting continued. "I have a lot more to do in life than you!"


Mabel was annoyed at Explorer. She decided to stop and continued to rip open perfectly good bags of cheese puffs in search of her pills. Clyde snooped over and ate them right off the floor.


A knock on the door came a calling. Explorer, who had found his judicial robe, sat it down near a washing machine to answer it. Mabel, seeing an attempt to enrage her master, "innocently" toppled bleach onto the black, silken robe.


Explorer opened the door to see Mayor McFlapp standing in the doorway, panting heavily. He must have flown long-distance to get that tired.


"'Ello, Explorer, wot!," said the Mayor between pants. "I was just in the blinkin' neighborhood to tell you that Judge Xavier's flippin' rescheduled the bally meeting. It's been pushed forward one hour -- he just decided that Jonesworth needed cleaning."


Explorer groaned. As if his schedule weren't already so cramped. He changed the topic.


"Mayor, I haven't received a script for any upcoming stories in a week! Are you planning something?"


The Mayor looked shocked.


"Oh, for bally's sakes, no! I wasn't plannin' on doing anything until the Pie War continued, wot."


The Mayor pulled out a wristwatch and looked at it. All of a sudden, he gasped, closed the watch, and hurriedly stuffed it in his player card.


"Oh, gravy-covered mashed potatoes, look at the time!" McFlapp turned to Explorer with a worried look. "I really must be going, wot, see you later! Wot wot!"


Mayor McFlapp spread his wings and flew away into the night. Explorer turned to go inside, only to see the a splatter on the back of his judicial robe colored a blazing white, as white as snow. An overturned vial of bleach was nearby, and Mabel was on the other side of the igloo, hiding under Fred's newspapers.


Explorer snapped. He angrily stomped over towards the couch where Mabel was hiding.


Chapter One: McFlapp and Explorer Both Lose Their Marbles[edit]

In which the LID foreshadows something and Mabel almost becomes toast.

Mayor McFlapp paced fitfully in his office, up high in Ternville. Explorer was right; the Mayor hadn't been given a script from Billybob ever since the Pie War had been postponed.


"Boredom of boredom!" thought Mayor McFlapp. "All is boredom, I say, wot!"


"Oh, what will I do?!" he cried. "I've been holed up in here for about a bloomin' week with no bally scripts and no flippin' vignettes! I can do whatever I want, but there's NOTHING exciting t'do! Nothing to narrate, nothing to scheme about, and no word from Benny!"


The Mayor turned to a portrait of his arch-nemesis, Director Benny. It was encased in a transparent dry-erase whiteboard so that the mischievous McFlapp could vandalize the picture with his dry-erase markers, which stood unused in a drawer. The portrait had been scribbled on vigorously for the past week, but the Mayor had become weary of mocking his hated colleague.


Mayor McFlapp sat down in his swivel-chair and swiveled around in it, looking around his spacious office, from the huge Narrator's Organ to the numerous filing cabinets (he smiled and thought of the Dorkugese) and his small, yet comfy desk. His beady eyes fell on something in the corner of the room -- a strange, dusty, golden box with a glass frame in the middle, which had a hole in its center.


Suddenly, something clicked in the mad arctic tern's brain. He grinned mischievously and walked over to the golden box, brushed off the dust, and set it on a nearby table. This box was the Lithium Improbability Drive, and Mayor McFlapp had become attached to it. McFlapp had used it so many times to introduce plot twists in his stories that he had completely mastered using the Drive.


The Mayor grinned again and stroked the Drive gently, almost as if it were his pet. Then he spoke.


"Well, you haven't been used in a bally long time, wot?" McFlapp whispered to the Drive. "Let me see, what's the flippin' password again? Ah! Yes, yes, the cake is a lie." Without warning, the Drive whirred to life and began humming like a computer. "Righto, then," said the Mayor briskly. "Generate a bizarre plot involving two prominent characters -- oh, and make it extra bizarre. Hehe!"


The Drive whirred again, then began beeping. Mayor McFlapp stood up and extended his wing towards a small slot in the Drive, as if he expected something to come out of there.


Sure enough, a small piece of punch tape slid out of the slot and into McFlapp's wing. He grasped it and read the contents:


 <-- QUERY: GENERATE PLOT -->
 <- ATTRIBUTES ->
START
 << MODIFIER: BIZZARE
END LINE; START
 << CHARACTERS: #RANDOM
 <<< QUANTITY: TWO
 <<< MODIFIER: MAJOR
END LINE; STOP

---

GENERATED PLOT: MABEL AND EXPLORER SWITCH BODIES AND LEARN LESSONS ABOUT EACH OTHERS LIVES.




Explorer twitched, he growled, he opened and closed his beak, his eyes filled with rage. Sometimes, he just has to blow his top, Mabel can drive him mad.


"MABEL VON STINKING INJOFACE THE NINETEENTH! YOU COME OUT OF YOUR NEWSPAPER HIDING SPOT RIGHT NOW!"


Explorer dove and grabbed Mabel by her fur. He picked her up and held him straight near his beak. Mabel didn't know whether to be proud of herself or terrified. Explorer hadn't been that angry since she met him.


"I FEED YOU, I SHELTER YOU, I TRY NOT TO WHACK YOU EVERY TIME I SEE YOUR FACE... -AND YOU SPILL' BLEACH ALL OVER MY JUDICIAL ROBE?! MY ONLY JUDICIAL ROBE?!"


"Uh-oh..." Mabel thought. "He's using bold AND italic text when screaming at me... I think I went too far..."


"YOU BET YOUR WAFFLES YOU WENT TOO FAR! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO DO MY JOB! I MEAN, YOU JUST MAKE MY LIFE WORSE! BETWEEN THE ADVENTURES and the FAME AND THE POLITICS, I CAN'T GET A BREAK FROM YOUR EVIL BEHAVIOR! DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE PAPARAZZI! SERIOUSLY, IF YOU HAD ANY IDEA HOW HARD A JOB I DID, YOU MAY RESPECT ME FOR A FEW SECONDS!"


He was citing his sources... Mabel was toast. Correction, Mabel was the ashes of toast which had been tossed onto the surface of Venus after being set aflame by a flamethrower, entering the dense atmosphere, being struck by lightning, and plowing through a cloud of sulfuric acid.


Clyde saw Explorer fuming and Mabel, for the first time, cowering in fear of her master.


"Hey, Danny... look at that."


"Wow. I've never seen him that mad."


"I know..."


"What time is it again?"


"9:30 PM."


"So he's been screaming at her for an hour and th- DID YOU SAY 9:30 PM?! Explorer needs his medication at 9:00 PM sharp!"


Danny was correct. Explorer's physical being was at stake. The last time he missed his medication, Explorer was locked in Freaker Mode for three days straight. He turned to a part of the igloo that was brighter than the rest of the paint job and shivered. Explorer had obliterated that wall last time. Fred had been integrating for weeks trying to fix it.


Clyde realized the severity of the situation and whipped out Explorer's pills. He put on his propeller hat and flew to the rescue at the screaming Explorer who was now turning purple. He landed on him and knocked him over, barely missing Mabel. Explorer squirmed until Clyde shoved the pills down his throat. Explorer immediately went calm.


"Where am I? What happened? Why do I have a Banana Blaster loaded with Ditto B pointed at Mabel? WHO BLEACHED MY ROBE?"


Clyde grabbed Explorer before he could recall and tried to calm him down. Danny, meanwhile, grabbed the robe and hung it in the closet, writing a note on it giving a false reason for the incident to spare Mabel from getting deleted with a Missile. Even he had a bit of concern for the furball of evil.


Mabel began to regain her composure, swallowing her "special pills" that had nothing to do with a certain problem and trying to stop trembling. Clyde scooted up to her and snickered.


"You owe me one."


Mabel ignored it for a bit, but admitted that Clyde saved her life with his fast thinking.


"Fine. What do I owe you, freak?"


"You can't play any musical instrument for a month."


Mabel growled, but she agreed.


"Fine. ...tasteless imbecile..."


"What was that?"


"Brush with a smile!"


"That's what I thought you said."


Mabel scooted over to her luxurious bed and settled down.


SQUISH!


Mabel jumped out of the bed.


"WHO PUT THIS PILE OF ✌Ü⎳ SHAVING CREAM IN MY BED?!"


Clyde laughed.


"-...because I can! You DID owe me!"

Chapter Two: Clinic Property[edit]

In which McFlapp fears elevator music and gets his butt kicked by a nurse.

Mayor McFlapp was flying through the air, over the seas and trying not to lose his top hat. He spread his wings as a large, forested island came into view. A shiny gray building sporting Gothic architecture loomed near the center of the area, in a clearing. This was Redlink Abbey, a large apartment complex and home to the most powerful and largest stock of sedatives and vaccinations known to penguin.


The Mayor landed and banged the Abbey's knocker, which was next to a set of giant electric gates situated on the west wall, not looking at the misty forest behind him and trying to ignore all rubber. The gates pulled back and the Mayor continued to the also mighty doors leading inside the Abbey.


"What is with these bloomin' nerds and their bally obsession with bally giant doors, wot?"


The doors creaked open and the Mayor walked into the Immense Corridor. There was no time to admire the giant dining table in the middle, nor the chandeliers overhead. Even the large overhead projector sitting upon a tall pedestal in the center of the room (and its accompanying DVD and hologram) failed to distract him. All of a sudden, the Mayor noticed a familiar figure in the corner of his eye. He whipped around to see the hologram of Marvin the Hacker rotating around in mid-air. McFlapp's beak dropped.


"Dead already? ....penguins age fast, wot."


The Mayor continued walking straight to the elevator and headed for Floor Two.


The elevator, however, had experienced technical difficulties. Exactly 16 years earlier, a small codec had been worked into the elevator's programming to make it stop halfway between Ground Floor and the basement level. The codec had not been shut down properly, and the elevator still malfunctioned from time to time. Halfway between the floors, the elevator halted.


Thus, the Mayor had to wait and listen to the agonizing elevator music...


"Bow chicka bow wow, that's what my baby says! Mow mow mow, and my heart starts pumping!................"


"NOOOOOO!! NOT THE NUMBER ONE REQUESTED PHINEAS AND FERB SONG, WOT! (New extended version, I've never heard that rendition before!) NOT THAT!!"



Director Benny laughed.


"APPROVED!"



"Gitchee gitchee goo means that I love you!"


"GAH! MEANINGLESS, CATCHY LYRICS, SEEPING INTO MY HEAD LIKE A BLOOMIN' EARWORM! SAVE ME!"


Mayor McFlapp was now cowering in the corner, the music was driving him crazy. At last, the elevator started moving again.


Poor McFlapp stepped off in a daze, trying all of his might to get that song out of his head.


"Well, at least it wasn't that one......."


He entered the Clinic room and saw white. White tiles, white walls, white floors, white coffee tables... commercial grade fluorescent lights hummed faintly as the Mayor sat down in the waiting room. He picked up a nearby magazine, but all it had was shots of Mabel and family. It was a scrap book! Mayor McFlapp dropped the book and scooted back in his seat. He glanced around. Breaking the monotony of white were pictures of Mabel's family in brown frames. It was like some sort of nightmare! McFlapp pulled his hat over his eyes, trying to hide from all of the Injofaces.


Calming down but still shaky, the tern began to hear faint voices coming from far down the hall.


"So, what ails you?"


"Ma'am, I only came in here for some Azarath..."


"Pills are inefficient! Administrating the medicine through inoculation is far more speedy and effective!"


"-...BUT I ONLY HAVE A HEADACHE! I'll just head to the phar- wait, why am I shackled to the cot? IS THAT A VACCINATION SYRINGE? YOU ACTUALLY HAVE AZARATH IN THAT THING?"


"Yes and yes."


"NO, NOT THE NEEDLE, NOT THE NEEDLE, NOT THE NEEDLE!


Mayor McFlapp cringed.


"NO, NOT THE- AHH! ...ooohh.... oh, okay, it hurt a bit at first with the pricking and then the pushing effect, but I feel better."


"My point exactly. You are all a bunch of ☤ wimps! As you can see, the medication works effectively through your bloodstream. You're headache will be gone in seconds."


"Hey, that didn't hurt too bad at all! Thanks!"


"Obviously. Now, here's your 'I ♥ ATI' band-aid and your fresh, juicy cucumber."


"Aren't you supposed to give me a lollipop?"


"No, lollipops are for ☤ wimps who can't handle real food. Now, SCRAM!"


The penguin waddled out and didn't turn back. The intercom rang in the quiet waiting room.


"NEXT!"


The Mayor walked in and sat on the cot. A small, black nun sat on a stool washing a bunch of needles across from him. She turned, holding the shot, which glistened in the lighting.


"So, what ails you, birdbrain?"


"Well Sister Alkamesh, I'm not blinkin' sick, I'm-"


Sister Alkamesh blinked and shook herself violently, nearly knocking her convent habits off.


"...WHAT... DID... YOU... SAY?!"


McFlapp gulped.


"I'm... not.. sick, wot?"


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Sister Alkamesh's fur spiked up and her convent habits slanted. Rage filled the nun like water in a pitcher. She hopped on the stool and grabbed a small syringe laden with sedatives. She blocked the only exit and approached McFlapp with the shot.


"THE EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT AND ACTIVE LABOR ACT, WHICH IS LISTED IN ALL OF CHAPTER TWO, THE MEDICAL SECTION, OF THE LICHENBLOSSOMESE PENAL CODE CLEARLY STATES THAT I AM REQUIRED TO ADMINISTER MEDICATION TO ANY PENGUIN WHO WALKS IN THAT DOOR, REGARDLESS OF IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT."


Mayor McFlapp, very frightened, backed away from the vicious nun, who was now growling like a feral puffle and bearing her teeth.


"HOWEVER, IT IS LAZY, STUPID, WELFARE USING ✌❀ö☭☭☭♲ΩΔ∴ᕇ☠☤☂☾㎯☭ IMBECILES LIKE YOU WHO HOLD UP THE NECESSARY SHOTS I NEED TO STICK INTO THOSE WHO NEED IT! YOU COST LIVES AND IT COSTS TIME, YOU ‽ WRETCH!"


"Please miss, be rational, wot wot!"


"SILENCE, YOU ☭ FOOL! IF YOU'RE NOT SICK, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE! I TAKE HEALING VERY SERIOUSLY AND WILL NOT TOLERATE FREAKS LIKE YOU CLOGGING UP MY CLINIC LIKE THE SCUM YOU ARE! THIS IS A PLACE OF HEALING AND YOU HAVE TO BE SICK TO GET HEALED! THEREFORE, IF YOU ARE NOT SICK, YOU ARE WASTING TIME AND ARE DEPRIVING IT FROM THOSE WHO NEED IT!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO ☤ IMBECILES WHO COME HERE WITH A BELOW 'A-RANKED' MPDS CONDITION?"


"Wait, wot, A is the lowest bloomin' ranking..."


"WELL, ARE YOU A LOW RANK SICKNESS, IDIOT?!"


"I told you, I'm not bally sick, I-"


"EXACTLY! NOW, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO COME HERE WHEN THEY'RE NOT SICK OR ARE NOT IN NEED OF MEDICINE!"


"ALKAMESH, I NEED TO BORROW YOUR- WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!"


Mayor McFlapp was injected with the anesthesia and fell to the floor. Sister Alkamesh tossed him on a stretcher and carted him down the hall. She came to a window adjacent to the floor and opened it up. Then, she hoisted the stretcher and the Mayor fell out of the window, two stories down, and into a dumpster.




Benny was chortling with laughter, tears in his eyes.


"APPROVED, APPROVED, APPROVED!"




About an hour later, the Mayor woke up. It's a good thing birds have a poor sense of smell, because the Mayor was covered in garbage! Worse yet, he had lost his top hat!


The Mayor cried at the lost of his hat, but quickly had an idea. After preening his feathers and cleaning himself up, the Mayor walked into the clinic without a hat. He walked passed the waiting room and up to Sister Alkamesh, who was again cleaning her needles. She turned around.


"So, what ails you?"


The Mayor showed his Bureau badge.


"Ma'am, I need to bloomin' commandeer three of your bally syringes. It's a matter of blinkin' national security, wot wot!"


Sister Alkamesh jumped protectively in front of her tray of needles.


"Those needles are clinic property and can only be used by a licensed professional. I can't give them to freaks like you."


"Yes, but your bally government needs-"


"CLINIC PROPERTY."


"Aye, but can't you-"


"CLINIC PROPERTY."


"I understand, but-"


"CLINIC PROPERTY."


"...but-"


"CLINIC PROPERTY."


"Oh, come on-"


"CLINIC PROPERTY."


"I NEED THOSE BALLY-"


Sister Alkamesh cast a cold stare.


"Read my mouth. CLINIC... PROPERTY."


Mayor McFlapp read it loud and clear. He smiled, turned around, and walked out the Clinic and down the halls to the elevator.


"If I can't acquire the bally needles, I'll just have to resort to OTHER bally measures........."


"My name is Doof, and you'll do what I say! Whoop whoop!"


"AAAHH!!! NOT YOU!"


Chapter Three: The Great Infiltration[edit]

In which McFlapp begins his spy-tacular adventure and Mabel recalls a flawed memory.

Outside the Abbey, Mayor McFlapp crept low in the rhododendron bushes, carefully avoiding any large red exercise balls that appeared nearby. He watched as a procession of Razzamatazastron arctic tern troops marched single-file through the Abbey electronic gates. The Anniversary Party Deluxe of Caretaker Cragette to be held tonight, and Mayor McFlapp's shrewd mind was thinking fast. If Sister Alkamesh wouldn't give up those crucial sedatives, there was no way he would be able to sneak his plot idea through. He was going to take matters into his own hands -- er, wings.


The Mayor quickly formulated a plan. He would use the feast and festivity as a cover to steal the sedatives from right under the nerds' beaks. McFlapp whipped out his cell phone and dialed.




RIIIIING! RIIIIIIING!


Clyde picked up the phone.


"Hello, household of Explorer Freddell Antics the Thirteenth, Clyde Wennellshacker speaking. How may I help you?"


"'Ello, Clyde!" said McFlapp over the line. "I have a special task for you."


"Ah, Client #1337, a.k.a. Mayor McFlapp of Ternville," said Clyde, grinning as he located McFlapp's profile on his buddy list. "What intarwebzy services do you require of me at this late hour?"


"I need you to help me steal some bally sedatives from Sister Alkamesh's personal vault in the Redlink Abbey basement, wot."


"No problem, dude," said Clyde as he opened up a schematic of the Abbey. "Let me guess what's on your mind: an entrance route, right?"


"Bull's eye, wot wot!" exclaimed McFlapp. "Find the fastest and most flippin' remote route, will ya?"


"Piece of cake," replied Clyde. "Let me see..."


Clyde's computer scanned all the possible entrance routes, finally settling on one, which appeared in light green amongst the thin wireframe schematic of the Abbey.


"Right. First thing you'll need to do: scale the west wall, on the northern side. I'll give you further instructions once you're there."


"Wait, why can't I bally fly, wot?" asked McFlapp.


"Turbulent air tonight. Hardly any warm updrafts. Besides, you could get spotted."


"Good thing I brought some bloomin' rope, wot wot!" said McFlapp. "I'll call you back when I get there, 'kay?"


"Okey-dokey".


Clyde hung up. McFlapp laid his haversack across his back and began creeping north, along the western perimeter.


Mayor McFlapp's most epic adventure yet was about to start.




CLANG!


A grappling hook soared over the parapets of Redlink Abbey's western wall and attached itself to the battlements, locking securely in place.


A few seconds later, Mayor McFlapp hauled himself up and tumbled over the battlements. He pulled up the rope, detached the grappling hook, and crouched down so that he wouldn't be seen. The Mayor took out his cell phone and called Clyde again.


Without waiting for McFlapp to say anything, Clyde promptly issued more instructions.


"Get down the other side of the wall and hide in the bushes. Sneak along to the line of guests entering through the gates and blend in.


Clyde hung up. McFlapp pocketed the phone, looked at the formidable drop in front of him, and gulped. He got out the rope, but then his cell phone began ringing.


thumb|100px|right|Mayor McFlapp's ringtone.


Before McFlapp could answer, Clyde spoke.


"Don't use the rope, you could be seen easily. Just jump."


"Wait a minute, how d'you know I was about to use the bally ro-"


Clyde hung up. Mayor McFlapp frowned and looked down the inner wall.


"Well, I have bloomin' t'do this, I suppose, wot..."


Mayor McFlapp took out a roll of duct tape and sealed his beak.


Doing his best to say "Here goes!" (it came out as "Hmm-mmh!"), the Mayor leaped right off the parapets.


"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"


McFlapp landed with an almighty THUD! and CRACK!, smack-dab in a rhododendron bush. Thankfully, no one was looking, as all the guests were chatting about the Party Deluxe.


Mayor McFlapp brushed off the rhododendron leaves, flowers, and twigs, and crept along behind the bushes to where the line was entering. Catlike, he slipped right into the line and began chatting amiably to no one in particular, so as to blend in.


Clyde looked at his computer and tracked the small dot labeled "Mayor McFlapp" as it went inside the gates. He laughed.


"Phase 1 complete," he said with an grin on his face.



Mabel lay down in her puffle bed feeling very angry at Explorer. At first she had felt a bit guilty about spilling bleach all over his robes, but then a thought came to her mind.


"The freak does owe me after he publicly embarrassed me in front of the whole South Pole Council yesterday. So I suppose we're even."


The puffle thought back to that time, and started growling quietly. She still hadn't gotten over it.



The following is based on a video by Richalvarez

It was early morning Wednesday and the South Pole Council had gathered for an important discussion. For some reason, Mabel had been called up to the podium and was beginning to start her speech. Just then she pulled out a bottle of Diet Cream Soda. Explorer, who happened to be in Nerd Mode at the time, noticed it immediately, and his face turned bright red.


"I've got to put an end to this madness," he said.


Mabel didn't notice however and started to open the bottle. Just then Explorer jumped up and covered her mouth with his flipper. Everyone was shocked.


"Explorer!" Yelled Mabel. "What do you think you're doing you freak?"


"You know exactly what I'm doing Mabel."


Everyone looked very puzzled and didn't have any idea of what Explorer was doing. Some (correctly) thought he might be going into one of his modes, and others thought he was trying to prank Mabel with the rest of the Troublesome Trio.


"Um, what are you doing Explorer?" Asked Mabel.


"Ya what are you doin' Explorer?" Asked Tails6000 who was eating a Pancake. "If it's a prank then count me in."


"Mabel," said Explorer. "I've told you a thousand times. Diet Cream Soda is not healthy."


Mabel rolled her eyes and a lot of penguins in the building were rather confused still.


"Well then freak, why do they call it Diet Cream Soda? Hmmmm??"


"Because it's a marketing technique put on by Evil Fast-Food Franchises to fool the simple minded. Like you."


Everyone laughed and Mabel started to growl.


"I don't care what you think of it, doofus. It tastes good and I'm drinking it."


Mabel attempted to open the bottle again, but Explorer grabbed it and threw it towards the wall. He looked very stern now and his eyes had started to glow a bit.


"Don't you touch that bottle."


"Hmph, I'll drink whatever type of beverage I want...."


Mabel was about to call Explorer an interrobang, but he immediately interrupted her.


"Don't you say that word, you poor excuse for a puffle."


Mabel went to get her bottle of Soda back, but then Explorer dropped on the floor. He arose in PHREAKER MODE.


"NEEDZ MOAR WAFFLEZ, LOLZ!!!1!!111!!!"


Mabel growled and everyone plugged their ears (or whatever penguins have). Mabel managed to get her bottle back though and slapped Explorer with it. The penguin instantly returned to normal. Mabel tried to drink her soda then, but Explorer slapped it towards that other side of the building once again.


"Explorer what is your problem!?! You know I can't digest all that sugar in Regular Cream Soda!"


"Then why not just quit drinking Cream Soda altogether? Here let me help you with that."


Explorer pulled out his Deletion Ray Gun, and Mabel started to Freak Out.


"NO NO NO WAIT! I paid 200 pebbles for that!"


Everyone looked shocked and Explorer was very surprised. He immediately dropped the Ray Gun and the Soda.


"200 Pebbles? 200 Pebbles? Ya know how much water is? FREE!"


Mabel growled and pulled out a ruler.


"I will waste my money the way I want to, FREAK!"


"If you have to drink Cream Soda at all," said Explorer. "Regular Cream Soda is a little bit better."


"But Diet Cream Soda has zero calories?"


Explorer rolled his eyes, and slapped his forehead with his flipper.


"Mabel, calories is just..... ummm...."


Mabel grinned evilly.


"You don't even know what calories are!"


Everyone laughed and Explorer's face almost resembled Serious Cat. Explorer then tried to explain to Mabel, but she constantly interrupted him. After about half an hour of it though she allowed him to continue. Fred then handed some cards over to Explorer that explained what calories are.


"Thank you Fred. Now Mabel, calories is just a measure of the energy in food. In fact, a nutritional calorie is actually one thousand actual calories. Since Diet Cream Soda contains no carbs or starches, it has pretty much zero calories. But it's not like you're drinking nothing. They have to put something in Diet Cream Soda. That's why McDoodles invented an unknown chemical which has been proven again and again to cause serious side-affects which may lead to The I Love U Flu Virus."


Mabel simply stuck her tongue out at Explorer and then reached for the Diet Cream Soda.


"NOOOOOO!" Yelled Explorer.


Explorer tried to grab it, but Mabel reach it first. She then started laughing, but Explorer then grabbed it and she growled. Explorer then stuck his tongue out and waved his head around and around.


"Well for your information Explorer, Regular Cream Soda includes a lot of sugar, which can give you Fat."


"True, but which would you rather have, Fat at 60, or the I Love U Flu at 50?


"Well what if I only live to be 47?" Asked Mabel Sarcastically.


"Then you've been drinking way to much Diet Cream Soda," replied Explorer.


Mabel growled and everyone in the building cheered. Mabel had never been so embarrassed ever before.




"That freak owes me some Diet Cream Soda."


Mabel then yawned and slowly fell asleep.



Explorer listened through the wall and grinned.


"Mabel hates me so much her memory is flawed, lawl."


By Explorer's memory (which is oddly usually much more reliable), it had been Fred who had lectured on the calorie issues, and not Explorer.


"Oh well, at least she's off to her dumb reunion tomorrow... next year, I should really think of some way to ruin it for her..."


Chapter Four: Phase Two[edit]

In which McFlapp steals some sedatives and barely escapes the Redlink security.


Meanwhile, McFlapp had successfully infiltrated the Immense Corridor. Now he needed to get to the Beverage Room, where Sister Alkamesh's vaccinations and sedatives were kept. Razzamatazastron tern guards were everywhere, seeing as this was a prime celebration and an assassination could easily happen. McFlapp followed one guard into the elevator, where no one else would see him.


Two of the security guards were stationed at the surveillance room, where screens showing views of all the rooms, including the elevators, were located.


"Too bad we can't enjoy the flippin' festivities," said one guard.


"Aye," said the other. "At least we get a pay raise for volunteering, wot."


Neither of the guards had noticed that one screen, specifically the one with a view of Elevator 2, had suddenly dissolved into static.


The security guard hit the elevator floor a split second after McFlapp had broken the security camera.


"Sorry, old chap, but I've got to do this for the sake of the bally plot."


It was night, and Director Benny was sleeping. The Organ was on autopilot mode, and the Director's Laptop was programmed to auto-approve, so McFlapp was in no danger from his nemesis.


McFlapp put on the guard's clothes and badge, dressed him in his own clothes, then pulled him out of the elevator and onto the cold, damp ground of Floor B. A sign reading "Beverage Room" pointed to the left. McFlapp deposited the unconscious guard in Cavernous Pit and headed for the Beverage Room.


To his dismay, it was guarded by a field of high-energy lasers! He couldn't just fly over them because they extended to the ceiling, as well.


McFlapp rolled back his sleeves and cracked his knuckles... or whatever terns have. "This can't be any flippin' harder than the Cube of Cliche's chamber back at Benny's office, eh?"


Then he jumped.


Landing expertly between two vertically sweeping beams, McFlapp promptly exhibited his knack for gymnastics. Rolling, ducking, dodging, and flipping, he navigated his way across and finished with a huge leap across three horizontal lasers.


"McFlapp is in the house, wot wot," he grinned.




Outside, a thunderstorm had started. Lightning streaked across the sky as large sheets of snow blanketed the ground.


Since the little ones were scared of lightning and thunder, the festivities had been rescheduled to occur in Cavernous Pit. And that's where the trouble began....


As the security guards filed in to patrol the area before everyone moved downstairs, one of them spotted something.


"Look! It's Mayor McFlapp, lying on the ground! He's unconscious!"


Everyone swarmed over to "the Mayor".


"Someone tried to bloomin' attack him while he was attending the festivities!" said a big, burly tern. "We've got to stop 'em!"


The alarm sounded as all the security guards split up and began searching the building.




Clyde was sitting at his desk, watching McFlapp's progress through his laptop. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and answered.


"Hello?"


"Clyde, it's me, McFlapp! I've gotten to the bloomin' vault, but it's bally locked, wot!"


"No problem. Just leave it to me."


Clyde hacked into Redlink's servers and quickly disabled the lock. The vault swung open and McFlapp stepped inside.


"Wow, what a beautiful bally bounty!"


Indeed, the vault was laden with all sorts of vaccinations for every possible disease. There was Fat, Vampenguinism, and even a do-it-yourself I Love U Flu Virus Cure Kit!


On another, smaller shelf, were several types of sedatives.


"Hmmm... now where's the one I want, wot?"


McFlapp searched the shelf before picking out two packs and stuffing them into his player card.


Without warning, the alarm bell rang.


Clyde received another call from McFlapp. Before he could answer, however, McFlapp began talking.


"I need a little help here! The security found a guard I knocked out and they think it's me! They're searching for the culprit. How do I get out if I can't go through the laser field?"


Clyde began searching on his computer.


"Well, it looks like there's an air vent you can crawl through. I've reversed the air flow so that it leads to the Abbey exterior. From there, you can climb the walls and escape."


"Sounds good to me. Show me where it is!"




Three of the guards had been left behind at Cavernous Pit while the others searched the Abbey. The festivities had been canceled, and all the chicks were in bed. The older residents were helping with the search.


Suddenly, a noise came from the hallway.


"Hey, d'you hear that?" said one guard. "Sounds like the culprit trying to escape!"


The guards ran down the hallway and halted at the laser field. One of them spotted something in the distance...




100px|thumb|right|The music that played as McFlapp attempted to escape.


Darn it, I've been spotted!, thought McFlapp as he cut the air vent's covering with a flame jet. He had wrapped a black handkerchief around his head and cut eye holes to protect himself from burns. The security guard's clothes lay beside him.


"HALT! GO NO FURTHER!" shouted one of the guards. McFlapp ignored him and began the final cut.


I guess this flippin' hanky makes me look like a burglar, he thought.


At that point, the Council of System Operators arrived. One of them took out a PDA-like device and turned off the laser field. The entire party began running towards the air vent.


McFlapp, in desperation, threw aside the flame cutter and punched the covering. The metal snapped and McFlapp dived into the opening. Expecting the air current to lift him and whisk him through the vent, he instead found that it pushed him backwards.


Fishsticks! They must have set it back to normal!


One guard grabbed his leg.


"I'm not gonna let you escape, you--"


McFlapp violently kicked him in the face and began crawling his way through the vent. A sysop took out the PDA device, presumably turning up the airflow. McFlapp was blown backwards again.


Just when he lost all hope, the airflow reversed! Clyde must have noticed!


The suction quickly pulled McFlapp away from the opening and through the walls of the Abbey, finally dropping him off right next to the wall of the interior Abbey. The tern quickly ran across the courtyard, scaled up the walls, and disappeared into the night, as he planned to get himself a new top hat.


Meanwhile, the three guards and one sysop were being wheeled off to the Clinic, as they had been holding onto McFlapp's leg when he was whisked away and had subsequently hit their heads on the wall.




Clyde sat at his desk, snickering. McFlapp had told him all about his plan for the plot, and he certainly liked it.


"What's so funny, freak?"


Mabel had happened to overhear Clyde as she was scooting to the kitchen to get a glass of water.


"Oh, you'll see," said Clyde. "You'll definitely see. Heh heh heh..."

Chapter Five: To Heck with Curfew[edit]

In which Mayor McFlapp meets the famed Adult... in the face.


The Mayor escaped the Abbey and ran deep into the forest, ignoring all Big Balls.


"I've got the bloody sedatives, I've got 'em, wot!"


Suddenly, he tripped on a steel wire. The Mayor looked around and saw nothing. What could have caused such a trap to spring? It seems that he would soon find out.

Footsteps began to echo. The Mayor was nervous. What if it was a security wire? What if he was surrounded by invisible Ninja cops? Paranoia built as the crunch of the snow became louder.


Then, a tall figure in a blue, hooded robe wondered out. McFlapp sighed a sigh of relief. It was an Abbey Elder. They were in cahoots with the Mayor, and half of them could break the fourth wall, symbolized by wearing two of Bambadee's bracelets, one per flipper. Unfortunately... this Elder wasn't wearing them, rather, a strange golden necklace bearing the numbers "546943". Worse yet, he wore the hood completely over him, covering his upper face like a Gothguin. This was a traditional Redlink sign of punishment. The Mayor gulped.


"Who are you?" the Elder questioned, in a mighty deep voice. He crossed his flippers, but discreetly pulled one into his robe, its long sleeve then dangling to its side. He steadily approached the Mayor.

"Elder... uh... what elder are ya, wot?"

"Elder Nigel Cautro; I'm in charge of the ninth floor chick dormitories and guest rooms."

"I see."

"Now, as I can tell, you seem to be a little... old to be sneaking out this late at night."

"Yes, yes I am. However, Your Grace, I think the term is too young. Curfews and all that, wot."

The Elder winced a bit at the word "curfew", much to McFlapp's confusion. The Elder then placed his flipper back into his sleeve and held something behind his back.


"Elder Nigel... aren't you out here enforcin' the curfew, wot?"

"No." the Elder said with a tinge of anger. He pulled down his hood, revealing his face. Likem most elders, he had a long, whisker-like mustache and white, Rockhopper-ike eyebrows. His glasses were trimmed in gold, like all elders, and, again in common, he was brown colored. However, a major difference was easy to see: he was wearing a colander on his head, and the lens in his spectacles' were sunglasses lens. The Mayor was confused.

"Sir, it is my duty to 'prevent the Curfew from being enforced. My age has not stopped me because my skills have kept me instated." the Elder stated menacingly.

"Any reason why you're wearin' a bloomin colander on you head, Nigel?"


The Elder revealed a weapon that seemed to be made out of boards and springs.

"Please, call me Number Five Hundred Forty Six Thousand, Nine Hundred Forty Three."

It clicked in the Mayor's mind. This Elder was the famed Adult, who was excused from the decommissioning process because of his expertise. This Elder was the one who permitted the CANS to exist and thrive!


THWACK!!


McFlapp was clobbered by the board. He stumbled around as the Elder took out some sort of electronic device and pressed a button, emulating a horn sound.


"CHICKS AGAINST NOCTURNAL SLEEP, TO YOUR STATIONS OF BATTLE!"


"Oh, hushpuppies." the Mayor sighed, regaining his consciousness.

Upon the signal, thousands of chicks and other youthful creatures dropped from ropes suspended in many treehouses above, all donning various homemade weapons and wearing necklaces bearing their number, as well as assorted out-of-Abbey-dress-code items, hooded sweatshirts, and novelty glasses, over their robes. They gave hot pursuit to Mayor McFlapp, who had no choice but to flee deeper into the forest.

The Chicks chased him and fanned out in an attempt to capture him, but they gave out to tiredness and returned to base. The Elder, being very aged, also went back. Only a handful of CANS goons remained in chase.

The Mayor fled into a misty clearing, and recalled this area. He stood in the middle and waited for the CANS chicks to come out to get him.

"Freeze, adult!", one nerd shouted in the traditional Redlink nasally accent, "We are heavily armed! You'll NEVER put us to bed. Power to the resistance!"

The Mayor grinned and clapped his hands -- er, wings, then looked away. The Chicks looked around and saw a blurry, almost apparition-like red circle.

"Number Eighteen Thousand Nine... what is that?" one CANS asked to the other.

"I... I have no idea."

An odd silence followed as the sphere faded away and reappeared in the farther distance, to the right.

"It's... some sort of rubber ball..."


One of the nerd's eyes widened behind his glasses.

"OH... SNA-"

SLAM!!

A giant piece of red-rimmed cheese fell on top of all of the CANS minions. The Mayor chuckled.


"G'night, and Big Balls."




Chapter Six: Big Benny Meets Big Ol' Sweet Iced Tea[edit]

In which Benny goes out like a light, McFlapp violates the separation of powers in the Bureau.

Finally, after all of that chaos, the Mayor had escaped back to the mainland, taking one of the many BOF entrances.

He entered the BOF and nonchalantly walked around the halls.


Benny glared at him. He was wearing a nightcap instead of his normal hat, and his fur was messy due to sleep and cowlicks. His usual scowl and dark, black-rimmed eyes were as prevalent as ever.


"What are YOU doing, ternhead?"

"Oh, I was just havin' trouble gettin' some bally rest, wot."

"Well, I was too. I had a horrible sense that something was not right and couldn't nod off."

"Hmm... I see. Well, how's about you and me go to the kitchen and get some bloomin' tea?"

"Hot or cold?"

"Whatever you want, Benny."

"Fine. Get me a big old glass of sweetened ice tea; chop chop."

The Mayor rolled his eyes.

"Benny, we're goin' ta get it together, wot wot. I wanted to talk about a bally story idea."

"Fine, whatever. This better be good."




Benny and the Mayor were soon in the kitchen. Two pots were boiling upon the stove. One was going to be Benny's sweet tea, and the other the Mayor's hot tea. The Mayor removed Benny's pot and poured the other one into his drink.

Benny's had to steep for a while- that is, let the two teabags dissolve into the liquid right after the pot was boiling -so the Mayor helped himself to the first round of his drink while Benny's was steeping.


"What exactly did you wish to speak about, Narrator?" Benny said grumpily.

The Mayor sipped some of his tea.

"I had an idea concerning you."

"I do not appro-"

"Hush. I'm not flippin' done, wot!"

Benny scowled.

"I've decided to bally approve the auto-narration your bloomin' family reunion, wot. I won't touch it."

Benny lifted his scowl. It was now a normal puffle-looking state of surprise or delight.

"Really, Alclair? You are truly considering non-intervention?"

"Yes. I think it is about time that I should be bally nicer to you, wot."

"Well.. ahem, I appreciate your kindness, Alclair."


The Mayor got up and went back to the stove. Benny's tea was done. He removed the pot and took out a one-gallon pitcher. McFlapp then poured four full cups of sugar into the pitcher. After that, he poured the boiling tea into the pitcher of sugar, dissolving the solution instantly.

"You're welcome, Benny."

The Mayor hummed a song about tea to himself as he stirred Benny's tea for several minutes. He placed it in the super-duper-fast-acting fridge and poured himself a second cup of his tea. The Super Fridge allowed for instant cooling. What would take two or three hours in a normal refrigerator took seconds in this.

At last, the Mayor took out the large glass reading "BENNY" on it. He put exactly three ice cubes in and added a straw.

He placed the two items on the counter and inserted the sedatives. Immediately after, the Mayor came and set Benny's big old glass of iced tea in front of him, and his hot tea cup in front of himself.


Benny eyed the glass suspiciously. He hopped onto the table and gazed into the amber-colored tonic, and then he sniffed the concoction.

"You have added a sedative to my tea."

"Wot? There isn't 'no bally sedative in your tea."

There aren't any sedatives in my tea, ternhead. Hmm... this would explain the butt-kissing you were performing."

"That was not bally butt-kissing," the Mayor objected, "it was a gesture of courtesy."

"When Screenhogs begin to fly, Aclair!"

"Fine, fine. I put a sedative in your bloomin' tea. There, I said it, wot. You happy?"

"Yes."


The Mayor handed Benny his second cup of hot tea, which he had not drank.

Benny sniffed it, and did not detect anything.

"Excellent."

Benny took the straw out of the glass of sweet tea and placed it into the teacup of the Mayor's tea. He slurped it loudly, and consumed it in seconds. The Director hopped down and scooted out into the hall.


"Now then, I'm going to b-"

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............

Benny laid flat on his face, out cold. The Mayor chuckled and left him there.

"Sedative DAB-1337 is completely odorless in a bally aqueous solution. Sleep tight, wot wot!"




With Benny out like a light, McFlapp could now enact his crazy plan.


The tern strolled to his office and began playing a quick ditty. The Organ's ancient pipes glowed blue as strands of Wutt Energy wafted from them. McFlapp snickered.


Next, the Mayor snuck into Benny's office and searched the room for his laptop.


"Here it is! The button that'll flippin' change your life!"


McFlapp put his wing on the touchpad, then did a double take. The "approve" and "reject" buttons connected to Benny's laptop had been replaced with cups of limeade and cranberry juice, respectively.


"Right, empty the cup to activate the button..."


The tern clicked on the most recent Narrator's Organ edit and picked up the cup of limeade.


"Here's to the most brilliantly insane parody idea I've ever seen!" he said, doing an imaginary toast. Then he gulped down the deliciously sour juice and placed the cup back on its pedestal.




It was 10:09 PM. The sun was due to set in Club Penguin within thirty or so minutes, rising again at about 5:48 AM.

Explorer and Mabel were grumbling at each other. Both of them had humiliated and upset one-another, and Mabel had stepped in a big pile of shaving cream. Life was tough, and arguments like these penetrated every day they spent at home with each other. Why else was Explorer placed in every story he could enter?

The two finished arguing with each other, taking their last medications and heading to their beds. Explorer went into his sleeping chambers and grumbled "Mabel has no idea" as he closed the curtains and leaned on the soft fabrics. Mabel meanwhile climbed into her Streber-made high-quality hypoallergenic puffle bed. There was a bunch of shaving cream in it. After muttering various Unicode symbols, she also remarked that "Explorer just didn't get it". All was quiet for a while.


As the two drifted half into sleep, a massive earthquake roared through the igloos. Explorer and Mabel shot up and jumped out of the bed, performing an earthquake drill, hiding under a sturdy item. They shook as the earthquake rattled, lasting for some forty five to sixty seconds. Finally, as everything stabilized, the two creatures checked their igloo. Oddly, nothing had happened. Explorer and Mabel looked in the hallways, and saw nothing but sleeping puffles and a snoring Fred. All of the items were untouched, not a picture out of place. Explorer knew this meant something bad was going to happen soon. The others must have been deep sleepers. No matter; Explorer and Mabel went back to their slumber, ready for a long day of diplomacy and family reunions (respectively) tomorrow. A few aftershocks followed, and, at last, everyone drifted into a calm and peaceful sleep.


During their dreams, both Mabel and Explorer heard an ear-splitting gong.




Chapter Seven: Mind Games[edit]

In which Mabel and Explorer get the shock of their lives.

Morning in Club Penguin, the city awakes to the sun and all the fun.

Explorer, who was, oddly, laying down in his sleeping chambers, groaned and reached for a nightstand instinctively, but nothing was there.

"Some phreak must have moved the &&*&@@ nightstand while I slept..." Explorer mumbled in a very OOC and rude manner.



Mayor McFlapp was up and early, being the first to arrive at work so that he could check on his little secret.


"Rise and shine, my pretties!" he chortled. "Let's see how you cope with a little plot twist..."




Explorer stood up- being very wobbly -and fell over as he tried to step out of the bed chambers. It was as if he had forgotten how to walk.



"Ratsum fratsum ampersand hyphen drowsiness... can't percent sign carat symbol up arrow interrobang move this early in the minus plus pound sign freaking morning..."

Explorer limply outstretched his flippers and pushed himself up into a standing position. As the drowsiness left him, he looked around.

"Huh. Who... put me up on... *groans* this table?"

Explorer yawned and reached up to wipe his eyes... only to feel the slick, oily feeling that waterproof feathers produce, exactly as normal.

"Quit... touching me... ampersand penguin..."

Explorer shuffled towards the nearest mirror- a vanity -and jumped, as if trying to hop up onto the vanity.


SLAM!

Various trinkets and knick-knacks fell from the vanity, and the whole thing shook. That certainly woke Explorer from any drowsiness. He screamed in a horrid OOC fit of blind rage.


"«Ӷ₩ö☢⓬♝¤²¿«***%^@%#@[email protected]#$%#%^&*&^$%[email protected]#^&$&&^21:06, June 29, 2010 (UTC)&()&^()*^()%^#%^@#%@%^+++-*%*%&*$^%#21:06, June 29, 2010 (UTC)[email protected]»&#^#&^_#%@!&*)*(&[email protected]~&*$&*$&^$&^#$&^#@^@%%(*()$%[email protected]@%@#^&^~~```¶ # ¹ ² ³ ½ ⅓ ⅔ ¼ ¾ ⅛ ⅜ ⅝ ⅞ ∞ ‘ “ ’ ” «» ¤ ₳ ฿ ₵ ¢ ₡ ₢ $ ₫ ₯ € ₠ ₣ ƒ ₴ ₭ ₤ ℳ ₥ ₦ № ₧ ₰ £ ៛ ₨ ₪ ৳ ₮ ₩ ¥♠♣♥♦©ΩÜö™∫∞πΣΔ∏☢☞∴∵؟※♪♫♬♩☭⊘☃☏☠☤☂☾✌㎭♲♻✄㎯ΔΩϠ‽Я҂Ӷ۝۩ᴥᵯ₠∏℗ЙӜिআஇணഊ෴ษ༕҉࿄Ᏻᕇ⃔∏⊛⎳⎲⏎␀①⑫⓬☎☸☈♔♕♖♗♘♙♚♛♜♝♞♟♨⌚✆✉✍❀⨇ⶹㆱ﷼ᅤ#%&^&*$^*%*(&8&﷼Δ₴☎♝¤²¿«⏎ΔӶ₩ö☢⓬♝¤²¿«⏎*%^(%**^&$&^#[email protected]!~~$&*Δ₴☎ΔӶ₩ö☢⓬♝¤²"####&()(&())&$%^@!~"


"Who in the $%^&*($$$+$₩ heightened the «⏎»﷼Δ₴☎ΔӶ₩ö☢⓬♝¤²¿ vanity?!" Explorer lifted up his flippers like a human would fists and shouted. "Why, when I get my teleki-"

Explorer stopped. He was looking at flippers. Penguin flippers. In fact, in the mirror, he clearly saw a somewhat short penguin in a nightcap, bearing an expression of sheer terror.

Explorer's pupils shrank- like that of a black puffle that ate a hot-sauce covered O-berry -as he trembly lifted one of his flippers up to the mirror and pressed it against his reflection's identical flipper.

His beak twisted into an expression of sheer terror, and soon after...


THUD!


Explorer fainted to the floor. His nightcap fell off. Fred ran in to check on his brother, and bent down to check his vital signs.




Meanwhile, Mabel was still sleeping peacefully. Her glasses were on the nightstand next to her cozy puffle bed. She yawned widely, as all puffles do, and shook herself a bit to get the drowsy wrinkles off of herself. Unlike Explorer, Mabel quickly came to daytime consciousness.

She gasped. Everything she saw was blurry. She could barely make out anything except vague colors and walls. There was no depth perception, no differentiation. Of course, this is how Mabel always sees the world without her glasses, but today was a little strange for that.

"FRED! SOMEONE! HELP!! I'VE GONE BBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

"Aww, shut it, Mabel! I'm trying to sleep!" Danny responded, angrily.

"Danny, where are you! I CAN'T SEE!"

"Mabel... your glasses are up there," yawned Scooter, who quickly dozed off again.

"Mabel? I'm not..." Mabel listened to her voice. Naturally, her voice was as normal as ever.

"Oh, Rockhopper above... have mercy..."

Mabel tried to move, but she couldn't. She tried to reach for something to stand up, but couldn't. Puffles can't do that, but Mabel seemed to have forgotten that.

"I'm... I'm... I'M..."

Mabel's eyes also shrank, like that of a black puffle that had consumed a fiery O-Berry. In sheer terror, her fur spiked up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mabel screeched her infamous loud scream, startling everyone in the igloo awake in what readers would view as an excellent Ben Hun impersonation.


"No... no, this, this can't be HAPPENING. The Mayor... he's not that dark... he's not evil... he wouldn't do this to me! No, please be a sick dream... please be the hot chocolate and deep-fried pizza I ate right before bed... please...."

Mabel muttered to herself.

"Okay, okay Explorer. You're dreaming. Now... the best way to escape a dream is let my subconscious run its course. Okay... it seems to be a very advanced sleeping state since I'm in full control of Mabel. Now... how do puffles move? ......oh yeah. Like a joystick, just lean in the direction of motion."


Mabel did so and moved off the puffle bed.

"Okay. Now... try and use telekinesis."

Mabel squinched her eyes and succeeded in feeling her own fur, or specifically, the darker colored fur that she styled as her hair. It was a horrible mess in the mornings, but it was still wonderfully soft. Mabel's eyes widened.

"Okay... the sense of touch in a dream... I must have been beaten up or knocked out. There's one way to escape a nightmare..."

Mabel backed up and smiled.

"A jarring slam..." Mabel travelled as fast as she could towards the nearest wall, "BACK TO REALITY!!"


WHAM!!


Mabel collided with the wall so hard that it dented the snow. The shock shook her glasses off of the nightstand.

"Oww..... so... not... a... dream..."


It was true. Mabel and Explorer had swapped bodies.




Mayor McFlapp finished typing this sentence and laughed.


"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"




"Explorer... Explorer, wake up! Oh, for the sake of all things Pyhtagorean, get up, man!"

Mabel (in Explorer's body, now referred to as Mabel) opened her (Explorer's?) eyes as Fred helped stand her, in Explorer's body, up.

"I'm not Explorer you amper- ...ahem... thank you."

Mabel began to rock back and forth a bit as she accustomed herself to Explorer's body. Fred looked on with confusion.

"Explorer? Did you forget how to walk?"

"No I most certainly did not!" Mabel hissed back. In Explorer's voice, it sounded much ruder than normal.

"Well, excuse me for caring!" Fred left.

"Why does Explorer wear this stupid nightcap?"

Eventually, Mabel managed to begin waddling, though waddling was putting it mildly. She swayed back and forth like Herbert P. Bear on an iceberg. She steadied herself on the door threshhold and entered into the dining area, sitting down on Mabel's chair. She then yanked off the nightcap and threw it on the floor.

"Hey Explorer! Sitting on Mabel's chair; that's very daring! I like it!"

Mabel scoffed- until she remembered that she was Explorer.

"Hmm..." Mabel said in her usual (when not angry) formal, pompus air, "I guess you're right, Freddel- uh, Fred. At sign nicknames... I'll get out of my- Mabel's chair." In Explorer's voice, this almost sounded like a decree from Swiss Ninja.

"Rather cowardly."

"It's better than getting diciplined by Mabel."

"Diciplined?"

"Err..."

"Speaking of Diss, where in the name of fractions is she? MABEL, BREAKFAST IS ON!"




Explorer, in Mabel's body, sighed as he telekinetically put Mabel's thick, dorky glasses on. He could now see perfectly: in fact, he could see better than in his own body. Suddenly, he understood why Mabel demanded that extra hundred coins.

He began to scoout out of the room, as he passed the pile of Puffle-Os and the beds of Explorer's ohter puffles. Then, a tomato hit the back of Explorer, or what woul be Mabel's "hair".


"OWNED, four-eyes!"


"Clyde? What are you DOING?"


"Owning you. It's fun."


"Well, don't. I'm not in the mood."


"You're never in the mood, Mabel." Clyde threw another tomato.


Danny turned to Clyde.

"Clyde, be careful, after the slamming-into-the-wall fiasco, I think she means Serious Business."


A pie hit Explorer in the face. He wiped the pie off of his (Mabel's) glasses and sighed. He turned and scooted out the door, before peeking back in.

"Leave me be."


The others stared at the entryway that previously held a frustrated but calm Mabel. It was a sign of the apocalypse! That, or a story gone HORRIBLY WRONG.


Clyde grinned.

"SUCCESS!"




Explorer, in Mabel's body, entered the dining area and hopped up on Explorer's seat. Since the arrogant Mabel did that frequently, no one objected. The other puffles soon joined and Fred laid out that plates.

"Who wants WAFFLES?"


Everyone excecpt Mabel (in Explorer's body) let out a cheer. Everyone turned to Explorer, who, in Mabel's body, was smiling a warm grin. He quickly wiped it off and faked a scowl.

Fred laid the waffles down and drizzled everyone's breakfast in honey and maple syrup. He then poured coffee for everyone except Explorer (in Mabel's body). Explorer got Mabel's morning beverage of choice: ice-cold, diet cream soda.

"HEY!" Mabel shouted, in Explorer's body with his voice, "Where's MY diet cream soda?"

Fred cocked an eyebrow (or what could pass as one) as the other puffles looked on.

"Explorer, you hate that stuff."

"Hmmph, well, maybe I want to try something NEW, birdbrain." Mabel arrogantly replied with Explorer's voice.

"Mabe- Explorer! For pancakes' sakes, quit being rude! Explorer... uhh, take me to the closet. I need to have a WORD with you."


Mabel scoffed and grabbed Explorer. She rushed out holding him as they entered the closet that Stamm appeared that one time.


"Listen, you arrogant puffball. You're making a mockery of my body with your pompous language and rude remarks. You're going to have to act a little like me... -and vice-versa... if we want this to work. Now, we'll eat away from the rest of them, but when we get dressed, you'd better show me what you're wearing on MY body. I will do the same."


"Fine, but how can I lower myself to your level?" Mabel responded.

"Aaagh..."

"You make my voice sound really stupid."

'...-and you make mine sound like that of an arrogant snob!"

Mabel scoffed.


"Okay. Let's get dressed."


The two exited and went down the hall towards their bodies' respective dressing areas. Mabel, in Explorer's body, opened Explorer's player card and sifted through the inventory. There were hundreds of pieces of clothing, particularly in the hat section. The first three scrolls of the card showed propeller hats. Yet, when she reached the other items, all of Explorer's hats- even top hats and party hats -had a propellor on it.


"WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN HERE HAVE PROPERLLOR HATS?!"

At last, she found one other item and sighed. It had a propellor as well.


She thumbed through the body items. Most of them were disgusises and gifts that he had either never worn or had worn once. At last, she scrolled down to the bottom of the card and found something that suited her.


She did the same with the other items and admired Explorer's body in the mirror.

"Hmm... the penguin cleans up decently." Mabel noted.




Meanwhile, Explorer- in Mabel's body -grumbled as he looked at Mabel's body in the vanity mirror. He couldn't do much with her, so perhaps he should change her look.

Explorer took off Mabel's glasses and looked for different shaped ones. He found smaller ones that looked better in his opinion. Then, he started messing with Mabel's hair, deformalizing it and making it look much more modern.

The end result pleased him enough.

"Mabel doesn't look that bad in this..." Explorer noted.




The two exited and faced each other in the hall.

{Image goes here. I'll make that.}


"OH MERCY, NO!" they both shouted at each other.

"A three piece suit?!" Explorer, with Mabel's body and voice, shouted.

"Smaller glasses?!" Mabel shouted back.

"My old Crown?!"

"Messed up hair?!"

"MY NERD MODE GLASSES?!"


Fred peeked down the hall.

"Is everyth- WHOA. Explorer... you look great! What's the event? Are you running for President or something? I've never seen you dressed so sharp!"


Mabel smiled smugly with pride. It looked very strange on Explorer's body.

"I'm glad you like it, Freddel- Fred."

"Oh, I do! You're as sharp as a right angle! WOW! I've wanted to see you dressed like that for years!"


Fred walked away, completely ignoring Explorer in Mabel's body.

"Fred! Wait!" Explorer called out, "What about me?"


Fred caleld abck from the kitchen.

"Nobody cares, Mabel!"


Mabel laughed at Explorer's frustration and smiled a grin like that of X-Treme Penguin.

"It's not easy being ignored, is it?"


"Oh, and Explorer... you're due at the Council in an hour. Remember that it's not legislating today, it's diplomacy. You're going to meet with President Billybob and many foreign diplomats and, possibly, heads of state. You need to be on your best behavior."

Fred then scowled at Explorer in Mabel's body.

"...-and you've got a flight to Charles' Key due in an hour, too, Mabel."


"Freddel- Fred, Explo- Mabel's not ready to go. Look at her! So... so informal-looking!" Mabel shouted.

"Explorer, I'd think you'd be the one to commend Mabel from stepping out of her uptight, mean little secretary look."

Mabel glared at Fred.

"What?"

"Never mind." Mabel replied.


Explorer glared at Mabel.

"Okay, it's clear that I'm going to teach you how to be me if we're going to survive our meetings. You with important people and me with..." Explorer shuddered violently in Mabel's body. "...your family."

"...-and what's wrong with my family?"

"They're all... they're all.."

"Yes?"

"THEY'RE ALL MABELS."

"Not all of them are as good as me. Some are all goody-goody, like Matthew and Foamy. Foolish rejects."


"First off, you're going to need to drab down."

"...-and you clean up!"

"Fine."

"Fine."


The two left and came back with slightly better appearences. This time, Mabel was wearing Explorer's judicial regalia and no hat. She was, though, wearing Explorer's Nerd Mode glasses.

Explorer, meanwhile was wearing Mabel's normal glasses, though her hair was still unchanged from what he had arrived in.

"Okay... I guess we can live with this. Would you at least put a hat on me?"

"No." Mabel responded. "I'm not wearing your stupid propellor hat."

"It's not stupid... -but I don't have time to debate. I have a propellor hat with the propellor cut off. Will THAT do?"

"No. The color scheme is tacky."

"Well, I have a propellor hat with a black color instead of the usual red and white... but I wear that at funerals."

"Fine." Mabel took out said hat and cut the propellor off with Explorer's un-exchanged Spy Phone's scissors/

"..................MABEL!"

Mabel rolled her eyes and placed the hat on.


"Okay. Ignore the wardrobe and I'll ignore what you did to my hair." Mabel stated.


"Fine. However, if we want to survive this day, we need to try and act like each other. So... we've got forty five minutes left. It's time that I give you Explorer lessons."

"...-and I will give you life lessons on acting better."

"Ahem..."

"Pardon, Mabel lessons. Infidel..."

"EXPLORER LESSON ONE!" Explorer shouted, taking advantage of Mabel's furious shriek. "NO SIDE COMMENTS!"


Chapter Eight: Explorer Lessons, Mabel Lessons[edit]

In which Explorer and Mabel teach each other how to be each other.


Explorer (in Mabel's body) began imposing his mindset on Mabel. His newly-found scream was definitely helping.


"Now, repeat after me: If anyone needs me, I'll be on the porch."


"...."


"SAY IT!" screeched Explorer.


"If anyone needs me, I'll be on the porch," sighed Mabel. "Why do you always have to say that stupid phrase, anyway?" she added.


"Because I can, tasteless brat," said Explorer.


Mabel scowled, though she admitted he had gotten into character very well.


"Okay, I think you're ready," declared Explorer. "Go meet Fred and dazzle him with your brilliance."


"What do you mean?" asked Mabel, confused.


"Talk about stuff. Ask him what new gizmos he's invented, what Perry the Puffle is doing, et cetera et cetera."


"Fine... Doofus."


"NO SIDE COMMENTS, YOU ###&%*@($%&**[email protected]*%&^$*#&%^@@@&&&!"


"Oh. You're GOOD." Mabel replied with a hint of respect.




Mabel exited the room and adjusted his robe and hat.


"Hi Explorer!" Fred stated with a smile. "It seems Mabel is back to normal. She's screaming again. I never thought I'd enjoy her punctuation..."


"Freddell... what... have... what have you invented anything... worthy of sh-showing me?"

The stuttering she had produced was notable. Mabel usually mocked these devices, so this was an astronomical step. Though pompous, Mabel was actually giving an effort.


Fred paused for a moment and then nodded.

"Not today, but I do have a nice theory. Math is fun; I can see and apply constant theorems in things that have nothing to do with numbers. Wait here."


Fred rolled in a chalkboard. He was beaming with delight.


"You know TurtleShroom." Fred stated.

"Do I ever." Mabel responded. "He adores me! He's a big fan of mine!"

"Uhh... okay."

"Anyway, I was looking into his corporate portfolio."

"I didn't do anything to transfer those public funds into the private sector."

"Huh?"

"Carry on."

"You know TurtleShroom, but do you know his brother?"

Mabel gulped.

"His name is Tortugadesetas. He's a somewhat mustached smooth-talker- despite speaking broken English -who always smells like gasoline.

"Well, I've been monitoring Maverick for a while now, and I've come up with a startling mathematically explainable variable."

Fred scribbed doodles on the chalkboard.

"The happiness of Director Benny is variably proportional to the amount of money resting in Maverick National Bank. Tortugadesetas' power, however, is not related to the bank, but seems to be a function of the bank's offshore capabilities."


"Take it this way. Based upon my data, h, Benny's day-to-day happiness, is directly related to m, the amount of money in Maverick National Bank, with the varying constant of proportionality k (<math>k > 0</math> always holding). <math>p > 0 </math>, however (p being Tortugadesetas' unshakable power), only holds if <math>b = 1</math>. (b being a binary variable depending on the truth of the statement "Maverick National Bank exists.") The stability of Maverick's regime s is a function of p, which is a multivariable function of b and c, c being the offshore capability of Maverick National Bank. The values c and m both depend on b, as well as each other and time, or t, through recurrence relations that I haven't quite figured out yet. Simplifying everything, h and s are functions of m, c, and b. Hence, the stability of Maverick and Director Benny's happiness depends entirely on Maverick's bank!"


Mabel gulped.


"Well? What do you think? Do you like it? Should I present it? To the Council? To the United Antarctic Nations? To the BOF? Think of the possibilities!"


"Freddell, I don't think you've looked into the equation enough." Mabel thought fast. "How can you prove that the bank is directly proportionate to the government of Maverick's existence? Are the public sector and private sector not different? Maverick is a tax haven. There's not much money IN the public sector."


Mabel only partially lied. Maverick only siphons funds from everything. That's technically not a tax.


"The Bureau of Fiction is a private company with higher power than government. It DOES NOT take public funds. It doesn't need them. Why, the BOF could write that 'socialism works' and BOOM. No more capitalism."


"Well, I guess that's true," said Fred, "but it's no coincidence that John Coo couldn't coup before, right? I mean, isn't Coo's Tortuga coup the only coup that was a successful coup?"


"Who said it was a coup?" Mabel defended, "Everyone knows the President left to become an ambassador to some country we don't know about."


"Explorer, how can someone as brilliant as you be so blind? Maverick is more corrupt than Director Benny in charge of the nation's money supply. There's nothing good there. Think of the people! Why... why, it's like the II3K all over agian!"


"The company town is a lie."


"EXPLORER! How dare you flip flop on your policies! Part of your conference IS the city of Isotope! Another is Maverick? Why are you defending what you want gone? Don't change now just because Mabel is extra creepy! DON'T BEND TO HER EVIL!"


Mabel clenched Explorer's flippers, trying not to shout Unicode.




More coming soon!