Redneck

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Redneck Penguin
A Hontanan Redneck.
A Hontanan Redneck.
Conservation Status
Scientific classification
Domain: Bird
Kingdom: Penguin
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Penguin
Genus: Not really
Subspecies: Penguin
Rednecks can be found all over Antarctica, but mainly Japaland and Hontana.
Rednecks can be found all over Antarctica, but mainly Japaland and Hontana.
Synonyms

Crazies, Hillbillies


Rednecks are remote, crazy penguins that do weird things. Most of them live in Japaland, and Hontana. These penguins usually work as farmers, because sometimes they're too weird for other jobs.

Description[edit]

Rednecks are funny penguins that wear rough clothing, live in remote areas of Antarctica, and talk funny. Rednecks first started out in Japaland, and then migrated out into the rest of Antarctica. These penguins like to live in large, open areas away from large cities. These penguins are called "Rednecks" because of the odd red mark around their necks. It is believed that the redneck is a mutation, one that actually changes the way how the penguin thinks and speak.

Rednecks don't like to wear fancy clothing, like suits or dresses. Instead they like to wear cowboy hats, and baggy clothing. However some rednecks like to wear red baseball caps, and skinny jeans (0_0). Rednecks do a lot outdoors, so it's important to wear clothing they're not afraid to get dirty. Some Japalandese Rednecks like to wear flashy clothing under overalls, while Hontanan Rednecks wear the more farmer clothing.

Most remote Rednecks don't get a lot of education, and therefore they are kind of dumd. However ALL Rednecks are missing some common sense, and they tend to get hurt a LOT. Some comedians like to make fun of Rednecks in their jokes, and make funny stories out of them. About 25% of joke books' topics are about Rednecks.

Subspecies[edit]

  • Viking Redneck - A brave, and powerful Redneck. These subspecies were started in 1879 when a Viking married a Redneck. These Viking Rednecks are strong, brave, cocky, and have a good sense of humor.
  • High Redneck - The oddest, and weirdest Redneck subspecies. It started in 1902 when a High Penguin married a Redneck. These subspecies have good manners, good education, but still talk funny.
  • Khanz Redneck - The meanest, and funniest Redneck subspecies. These species started in 1928, and almost went extinct in 1931. These Rednecks are rude, strong, cocky, and are cowards.
  • Puffle Redneck - These puffles aren't genetically related to any penguin rednecks, they just act like them. They have buck teeth like Orange Puffles, are brown-colored, aren't funny, and they're kind. Most of them live in Southern Puffica.

Locations[edit]

Rednecks are usually found in Hontana, and Japaland. However some Rednecks can be found on Club Penguin Island, Eastshield, Barbearer Islands, and United Terra. Rednecks usually live in remote areas of cities, and are a bit anti-social.

Culture[edit]

Rednecks have the weirdest culture in Antarctica. These hillbillies like to watch football, ride wild Cheesecracker Puffles, throw horse shoes at trees, watch PASCAR, drink Cream Soda, sing country songs, and have dance contests.

However a Redneck's culture depends on where he lives. For instance Japalandese Rednecks like to sing to techno country music, and hang out at dance clubs. While Hontanan Rednecks like to be play Vii games, play outside, and socialize with one another.

Food[edit]

Rednecks like to eat meat, and a lot of it! Many Rednecks are hunters, or fishers, and like to kill their own meat. Rednecks in Hontana leave every Fall to hunt reindeer in the woods, and usually come back with four or five deer. Rednecks like to eat chilly, freezer food, crackers, meatloaf, pasta, basically anything placed in front of them. Rednecks also like to drink Cream Soda, in fact, 34% of Cream Soda consumers are Rednecks.

Careers[edit]

Rednecks usually get jobs as farmers, or fishermen. Rednecks have been said "to be a lower class penguins, and cannot do things a normal penguin can". Rednecks usually don't get jobs where they meet a lot of people, unless the town they live in is full of Rednecks. In which case Rednecks are everywhere!

Languages[edit]

Rednecks usually only speak German, English, and French. About 60% of Rednecks speak English, with their own twist made to it. Some Rednecks "talk liked dis", and are hard to understand by some.

Notable Rednecks[edit]

  • Larry the Satellite Guy
    • A comedian who's also a voice actor for action movies.
  • Feey1 Pie
    • Often referred to as a Redneck by his enemies.

Trivia[edit]

  • Rednecks are actually very popular penguins, because a lot of people talk about them.

See Also[edit]