Scrub

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Scrubbypingu, an unfortunate penguin who bears the name of his brethren.
wow bad
 
— A typical response to scrubbery of all sorts.

Scrubs are a peculiar group of penguins who are present throughout Antarctica. They are not an ethnic group like high penguins or khanz penguins, but rather scrubs are identified by their personal characteristics and behavior. Those who coined the term "scrub" say that typical scrub behavior involves excessive whining, being generally annoying, and participating in "cringey" activities. A scrub or other penguin who participates in said activities is said to be engaging in "Scrubbery". Interestingly enough, even though scrubs are classified by how they act, this label is only applied to penguins; puffles got lucky and are never referred to as scrubs.

Scrubs are widely considered to be a nuisance across Antarctica, although many observers note that the treatment they receive in response to their behavior can be disproportionately harsh, often verging on bullying. Multiple "scrubs' rights" movements have propped up across the continent recently, urging for equal treatment and respect towards scrubs and non-scrubs alike. The title of "scrub" is often seen as an insult and a derogatory term by those who have been branded as such, given the negative connotations surrounding its use.

Background[edit]

There have always been annoying penguins throughout history. In the past, these characters have either been ignored, bullied, or otherwise ridiculed with insults such as "n00b". The term "scrub" only became popular recently, with the first recorded uses in media coming about in 2016. The term was considered to be obscure for a while after this, however, and the derogatory title only became well-known in 2018, with the establishment of the controversial Penstubal Post. Many detractors of the post, including president Lavender of Shops Island began calling its author, Penstubal, a "scrub" for spouting nonsense and conspiracy theories, as well as being a general nuisance. The term quickly caught on, and has since become a popular term to call those who exhibit so-called "scrubby" behavior.

Their born nemesis are the melonheads, whom they despise for drinking orange juice and their habit of conforming to authority. In return, the edgy melonhead extremists hate them, too.

Behavior, Beliefs, and Typical Characteristics[edit]

Given the recent coining of the term "scrub", and the inherent vagueness of its use, there is no official list of characteristics or behaviors that classify someone as a scrub. Below is a list of typical characteristics that stand out and are recurring among penguins who are referred to as "scrubs".

  • Those who are classified as scrubs often do not speak English as a first language, or do not communicate well in the English language. Often, they are still learning the language, or intentionally butcher its spelling and grammar out of spite.
  • Scrubs are often skeptical of empirical "facts", preferring to create their own reality and disregard any facts that are not convenient to them. This behavior is more rampant in some scrubs than it is in others, however.
  • Many scrubs seem to believe in some sort of "Illuminati" which controls multiple Antarctic governments, stating that this all-encompassing organization is threatening Antarctic stability through a vast conspiracy, and is a fundamental danger to freedom and penguin rights everywhere. This common claim is completely unsubstantiated, but happens to be one of the Penstubal Post's main talking points. Particularly deranged individual scrubs may also believe that this "Illuminati" is trying to target them, specifically.
    • Similarly, many scrubs claim that they are "oppressed" by their respective governments, even if there is no evidence to back this up.
  • Scrubs tend to pester and annoy those around them, often playing terrible music, or using outdated and unfunny memes, or by harassing normal penguins with their crazy conspiracy theories or their woes about how they are "oppressed".
    • Despite their often silly and foolish behavior, scrubs can get unbelievably angry if somebody else starts goofing off when they're trying to be serious.
    • Scrubs also tend to find complete nonsense funny, while most normal penguins would scoff at such a consideration - unless they were absolute jokers.
  • Kermit seems to be a figure of scorn for many scrubs, mainly due to him being revered by those whom scrubs claim control "Illuminati". Some of the more extreme scrubs have even started revering the evil Constantine out of spite.
  • For some reason, scrubs tend to speak in fragmented sentences and many cannot keep a coherent tone or pace to save their lives.
    • They often
    • talk like
    • this.
    • It's really annoying,
    • and,
    • it gets on the nerves of
    • many normal penguins.
  • The Penstubal Post seems to be the most popular source of news for scrubs, due to its multiple conspiracy theories and unsubstantiated articles, which have been discredited by real journalists.
  • Some scrubs oddly seem to idolize Herbert, seeing him as some sort of underdog, fighting against all the "normal" penguins.
  • Although scrubs are not specific to any particular ethnicity of penguin, high penguins are labeled as scrubs much more frequently than other penguins.
    • This trend has led to many scrubs calling those who use this term to be neo-Naughtzees.
  • For some reason, scrubs often tend to have an uncanny hatred of mathematics. Fred 676 would be ashamed!
  • Scrubs often tend to break machines, instruments, buildings, and anything else that stands in their way out of sheer arrogance or complete ineptitude.
  • In retaliation for being called scrubs, these penguins often call non-scrubs "melonheads" or "frog-sniffers".
  • Many scrubs believe that the very concept of mortality and death is a discriminatory conspiracy set up by the Bureau of Fiction to kill off scrubs as quickly as possible, most notably those who are high penguins.
    • For this reason, scrubs believe the Bureau of Entropy to be the legitimate ruler of the universe, and that the BoF is merely an organization full of posers and haters.
  • Many scrubs "worship" a pink Shprogshel called "Pink Sheep" that is thought to be made up by Penstubal. Penstubal wrote quite in detail in the Penstubal Post about who "Pink Sheep" is and what he promotes, and Penstubal even wrote and created interviews and dialogues with "Pink Sheep".
    • Many penguins have noticed that "Pink Sheep", as described through the interviews and dialogues, has a lot of disagreements with Penstubal and has a wildly different worldview, with "Pink Sheep" believing that "anybody could be a prankster gangster", as he calls his fans, and "Pink Sheep" seems to preach inclusiveness towards everybody regardless of their origins, their past and even their present, something Penstubal has not shown towards his opponents.
  • Admiring the pseudo-nation of Ghostlia is widely considered to be scrubby, given how everybody laughs at them and that they import the illegal Cactus Juice via Club Penguin, where it is banned.
  • Most scrubs dislike orange juice due to its very tangential connection to Khanzem.

List of supposed Scrubs[edit]

The following penguins are well-known in their cities or countries for being "scrubs". This list doesn't confirm that they necessarily are scrubs, but hey, if everyone is saying it, are they really wrong?

  • Scrubbypingu, a penguin who bears the unfortunate term in his name, and is considered to be the namesake of the "scrub" insult.
  • Penstubal, the infamous author of the Penstubal Post; included on this list by his detractors purely because of his role at the post. Funnily enough, Penstubal is one of the few scrubs to embrace the label and use it as a term of endearment, thinking it makes him "self-aware" and respectable as a result. Unfortunately, a scrub can never be respectable by default, not even a self-aware one.
  • Scrubette, Penstubal's wife, who is often considered a "scrub by association".
  • Cp kiddo and Cp kidette, Penquino's nephew and niece, respectively, are often referred to as "scrubs" by much of the Shopper populace, due to their annoying antics being made public by their uncle.
  • Cheddar Ninja, who seems to be the resident scrub of the Hochstadt Family.
  • David Franklin, the incumbent governor of Moon Island, who is often called a scrub by his detractors.
  • Brook Edward LasVegas, who is currently serving a long prison sentence due to his particularly evil brand of scrubbery. Also referred to as a scrub by his enemies due to his peculiar habit of cross-dressing.
  • Brant Esser is often called a scrub by his harshest critics, in spite of the fact that he exhibits very few "scrubby" traits.
  • Quackerpingu, due to him often saying "quack" or spouting random nonsense instead of speaking clearly and coherently.
  • Members of intelligence agencies such as the SIA often call members of the EQF scrubs due to inter-agency rivalries.
  • Politicians within the Axle Powers frequently refer to politicians in the Western Union as scrubs.
  • Rookie is widely considered to be a scrub by more qualified EPF agents, due to his multiple clumsy mistakes.
  • Robert Winston, a well-meaning chef at the Pizza Parlor, widely known for his complete ineptitude.
  • The government of Shops Island, Castilla, and Snowzerland have referred to the former Yow Kingdom as a scrub nation after the term had become popular.
  • Sarah Penguin, a politician who can never find a place in political cabinet.
  • All the inhabitants of Ghostlia, or those who have a Ghostlian passport.
  • Saraapril, a travel agent and former journalist, often considered a scrub by more seasoned reporters outside of Club Penguin, largely due to her disturbingly sunny disposition, and her extreme views on the environment.
  • Bernie the Tour Guide, for his overzealous methods of advertising and his "in-your-face" style of giving tours.
  • Mwa Mwa Penguins are considered extreme scrubs for obvious reasons, to the point where even most scrubs despise them.

Reformed Scrubs[edit]

  • Bro, a penguin who used to frequently exhibit scrubby traits, even as president of Shops Island. He has since mellowed out and has taken a more mature tone.
  • Snowstormer
  • Quackerpengu was a scrub as a chick.

Anti-Scrubs[edit]

Speaker.png Click here to listen to the Anti-Scrub anthem.
Warning: This song triggers scrubs.

A growing movement has emerged in the wake of scrubbery becoming popularized and well-known across Antarctica. These penguins, who call themselves Anti-Scrubs, pride themselves in chastising supposed scrubs for their badness, hoping to show these poor creatures the light of reality and to save them from scrubhood. The Anti-Scrub movement now encompasses some of Antarctica's most prominent political and cultural figures, some of whom are doing it with good intentions, while others are just doing it for a cheap laugh.

Some Anti-Scrubs have begun taking matters into their own hands, fearing that scrubs are "taking over" Antarctica. In countries such as Ed Island and Shops Island, vigilante attacks on supposed scrubs are becoming more and more widespread, even with the insistence of the government that this behavior is unacceptable, and is borderline scrubbery itself. This phenomena generally happens, however, in countries with a large percentage of melonheads, so this is not that widespread. Yet.

List of prominent Anti-Scrubs[edit]

A screen-cap from the Penstubal Post, showing Shopper Vice-President Chill57181 insulting the scrub cause.

The following penguins have become vocal figures in criticizing scrubs of all shapes and sizes, be it for a good cause or just for their own sadistic entertainment.

  • Hockey Manlet has become a prominent figure in calling for a curtailing of scrubby behavior across Antarctica. His role in the Achadia Crisis gave him a platform to speak about what mattered to him, and disowning a bunch of annoying cretins happened to make it to the top of his bucket list. When asked about the emergence of scrub culture, Hockey Manlet was quoted as calling it "totally not radical" and "a bummer". He also happens to be one of the main figures pushing the narrative that Brant Esser is a scrub.
  • Lavender is one of the most outspoken Anti-Scrubs in Antarctica, often using his position as Shopper president to lambast scrubbery and to call for its eradication. He blames the Penstubal Post and scrub culture for the attempt on his life in 2018. On multiple occasions, Lavender has threatened to cut federal funds to Moon Island due to its harboring of supposed scrubs such as Penstubal and Quackerpingu.
  • General Broseph, the former commander of the Shopper Armed Forces, has infrequently broke his post-service silence to criticize scrub culture, calling all scrubs "a bunch of pansy fruitcakes" and saying they should "get a job" and "live in the real world for once".
  • TurtleShroom has said on multiple occasions that the proliferation of scrubbery is due to the laziness of the BoF and Antarctic president Megg. He notes that scrub culture is an "affront to all penguin decency" and should be eradicated at all costs, to preserve the sanity and sanctity of all that is good.
  • Kermit does not believe that scrubs are inherently bad, he just thinks that they're misguided. Kermit has stated that he hopes they will be guided back to the light in due time, and wishes all of them well no matter how much rhetoric they spew against the frog saint.
  • Frederick Mueller is annoyed at the multiple attempts by scrubs to convince the Margatian government thaf scrubs are an endangered species.
  • QuaXerpingu is an Anti-Scrub just because Quackerpingu is a Scrub.

Involvement[edit]

Scrubs can be found all across Antarctica, and are not unique to any particular region, although some countries and areas tend to have higher concentrations of supposed scrubs. Recently, they have begun to become self-aware as the "scrub" title has been proliferated, and they are starting to use their common label as an asset rather than a liability.

Scrub Havens[edit]

These areas have an unusually high concentration of scrubs, either due to political, economic, sociological reasons, or due to pure coincidence.

  • DuckNewFlag.png Duck Island is considered by many to be the scrub capital of Antarctica. Its downright insane president has somehow attracted the worst of scrubkind to the country. The government of Duck Island itself has participated in a high degree of scrubbery, including officially revering Constantine at one point and refusing to recognize Kermit as a Governance saint.
  • GhostliaFlag1.png Ghostlia's scrubby inhabitants all believe proudly in their igloo nation. The fact that they consume large amounts of Cactus Juice, largely have a diet of mashed potatoes and peas and have had the equally scrubby penguins Penstubal and Sarah Penguin visit them doesn't help.
  • NewRoMIFlag.png Moon Island is the largest scrub haven in the Asiapelago, much to the chagrin of the Shopper federal government. Moon Island has often been willing to harbor scrubs such as Penstubal, Scrubette and Quackerpingu, three penguins who challenge Shopper culture and core values, and are prominent figures in the scrubverse. In the 2030s, the Republic of Moon Island came to be known as the "core of all scrub activity" due to the election of Penstubal as president and the subsequent formation of a scrub-filled government.
  • SaltspillFlag.png Saltspill is a city in the state of Eastshield of the United States of Antarctica that is considered to be one of the scrub capitals of the country. Saltspill's scrubs, however, tend to be more rational and intelligent than other scrubs due to the economic significance of the area's salt mines and the fact that many local scrubs have developed thanks to their experience in managing local salt-extraction businesses, not to mention the proximity of the city to Antarctic technological centers such as Snow José and Snow Freezecisco.
  • NewUnitedProvincesFlag.png The United Provinces is also known for being quite sympathetic to the scrub cause, given that its former king was one and also that Penstubal was hatched in its Penland region. The UP has also accepted a large number of refugees from the "scrub" Yow Kingdom following the Great Yowien War.
  • Waffleland flag.png Waffleland is the "epitome of scrubbery" according to multiple anti-scrubs, noting that the entire country is founded and operates upon core scrub values, such as being generally bad and uncouth. It doesn't help that their national anthem is literally burping in C-Major, and that their most revered mascot is Mister Bean. The country's harboring of the Str00del Force doesn't help matters, either.
  • Willow Island flag.png Willow Island, in general, aren't particularly fond of scrubs, but when a random influx of scrubs arrived by boat in 2010, the monarchy took pity on them, and gave them a special province all to themselves named the "Province of Salice". The inhabitants think it's ridiculous, however, but nothing's going to stop the scrubs from staying there.
  • Stubal Island is an island off the coast of Magonia that is home to a population of 96 scrubs.

Politics and the "Scrub Rights" Movement[edit]

Ever since the term "scrub" was popularized in 2018, many supposed scrubs have begun to band together into alliances and political blocs, many of which using their scrubbery as an endearing trait instead of seeing it for its pure badness. These scrubs have begun to heavily lobby governments in the Western Union and the government of Moon Island to recognize scrubs as a "endangered group" of penguins, who needed special protections due to the "vicious" Anti-Scrub counter-movement.

In 2019, Penstubal used funds from his newspaper to establish Scrubia, an unrecognized micronation and save haven for scrubs of all kinds off the coast of Wizzint, despite the disapproval of the Shopper government. Scrubia soon became a focal point of scrub culture, where many high-profile meetings were held, and pro-scrub lobbyists helped to table legislation to give scrubs rights that they felt they were denied. Ghostlia, being a scrub nation themselves, avidly supported this action, and became their best friend.

Although almost no countries in Antarctica have officially passed legislation criminalizing scrubs (with the probable exception of Azukri), the act of scrubbery, or making scrubs second-class citizens, scrubs of all kinds still claim that they are an oppressed minority due to the fierce criticism levied against them by rational penguins who can actually think coherently and independently. Increasing vigilante attacks against supposed scrubs have also heightened the sense of urgency in the scrub community, with increased calls for special protections occurring across Antarctica.

2019 Azukrian Scrub Riot[edit]

Starting from 27 January 2019, a series of small riots broke out in several suburbs of the Azukrian cities of Marlborough and Atalanta. The riots, which were perpetrated by scrubs, were originally rallies against the Azukrian government’s ban on the Penstubal Post. However, as the organisers did not bother to obtain permission from the government, the Azukrian police attempted to disperse the crowd, resulting in riots. The Azukrian police successfully broke up the riots with tear gas, rubber bullets and batons by 29 January. In what is perhaps the most notorious incident during the riots, a police officer shot a scrub rioter to death after the latter attempted to stab him with a kitchen knife. In the aftermath, over 73 rioters were detained, with another 173 penguins who are suspected to be involved with the riot arrested and detained for disturbing civil order. After imposing a temporary ban on all “pro-scrub communal activites” in order to preserve civil order, the Azukrian parliament unanimously voted to criminalise scrubbery on 16th of September, 2019, with repeat offenders being punishable by a minimum 6 strokes of the cane, fined 5 months' worth of their normal income and sentenced to 10 years of hard labour. The bill has not been given royal assent by Empress Katherine Chandos yet, as she will be meeting with the privy council on 18th September to be advised on the bill.

International Scrubs' March[edit]

Poster showing the attendance of the marches across Antarctica

In late 2018, Penstubal wrote an article in his Penstubal Post calling for worldwide marches to take place in support of scrubs' rights and in opposition to discrimination, as well as against Shopper imperialism, to stand up for the freedom of the Yowien people and to stand up for liberty and democracy around the world. Penstubal spent the next few months organizing the march and it officially took place on 9 May across dozens of different cities, and over 767,000 penguins were reported to be in attendance.

During these marches, protesters, many identifying as Scrubs themselves, marched with banners saying #ScrubPride, #ScrubsUp, #WeAreMany, #JusticeForFeey and #FreeYow. Penstubal said that the marches were to be peaceful demonstrations against the ruling elite around Antarctica and not to be targeting any specific person, although that was not the case in most marches that day as most targeted Lavender, calling him an imperialist with blood on his hands, and the marches, the tiny ones that took place, in Shops Island were everything but peaceful as riot police intervened to break up anarchists from the fringes of both the left and the right wings of the political spectrum. In the United Provinces, the marches were seen as a continuation of the Labor Day demonstrations that took place on 1 May, with anarchists, socialists and nationalists waving their respective flags.

Penstubal spoke at the march in Wizzint and proclaimed that "a global revolution is underway" to "overthrow the power-hogging elite". Penstubal said that his marches were unifying penguins of all origins, of all nations, of all species and of all ideologies, all for the sake of ending the subservient position of the regular penguin to the politicians in power. Penstubal also reached his flipper out "even to the penguins who hate him", stating that "the revolution that is ongoing right now is very real, and it's a revolution to end discrimination and restore our liberties that were taken away from us", and stated that "our desire for a better life" is "something we all share in common, something that helps us overcome our many differences and end our petty rivalries". Penstubal called for an international alliance to be formed to liberate Ed Island, declaring that "they have been oppressing their population for long enough", and met up with prominent High Penguins who used to live in Ed Island but were forced to leave because of the government's and the nation's hostile attitude towards High Penguins: "They attack Acadia for arresting that hockey dude, yet their country is ethnically clean of High Penguins. How fair is that?!"

In Acadia, the protests were indeed mostly concerning Ed Island, and banners calling for the liberation of Ed Island and the institution of a liberal democracy in the country were held supporting democracy in the country supposedly suffering under an authoritarian regime.

Coverage of the protests was mixed. Westernews actively covered the protests from its neutral perspective, and Aunt Arctic wrote about the marches in her Club Penguin Times. The media in Shops Island mostly only mentioned the protests but didn't give any significant coverage to it, while the media in countries like Ed Island did not cover the marches at all (they didn't have a real need to either as they did not take place in their country, although Penstubal was hoping they would - his plans were foiled by the fact that Ed Island is mostly closed to the entire world and is considerably authoritarian).

Overall, the protests ended up being more about generally resisting the ruling elites in Antarctica, more about standing up to Shops Island and Ed Island and more about standing up to discrimination and xenophobia, than it was about the Scrubs themselves. Scrubs, however, were the organizers of the events, the biggest transnational demographic in the marches and their symbolism dominated the march, with the Penstubal Post media organization having the most influence on the way the marches went.

Trivia[edit]

  • Those who see the term "scrub" as offensive, but still want to let scrubs know of their disapproval will often call scrubs "bad" and lambast them for their "exceptional badness".
  • Anti-Scrubs can often be found drinking orange juice just to anger scrubs, who believe that orange juice is discriminatory against high penguins.
  • Melonheads are their worst enemies. As a result, they hate each other deeply - nothing will reconcile them.
  • Many chicks go through a "scrubby" phase in youth, although most grow out of it.
  • Mwa Mwa Penguins are some of the only nuisances that are considered by most to be more annoying than scrubs. That says a lot!

See Also[edit]