Shroo Jones

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Shroo Jones
Born Shroo Jones
1910
High Penguin Confederacy
Gender Male
Other names Praetor Jones, Judge Jones, Shroo
Citizenship Cives Romani
Education No education, illiterate
Occupation Judge
Years active 1930-Present
Home town Mattress Village
Height 3' 11''
Known for Oldest judge of all time, last surviving Praetor of Snowme, illiteracy, USECP v. United States of Antarctica, the NICE Act
Title The Honorable, Imperium, Praetor
Relatives TurtleShroom's Family
The Honorable Judge Shroo Jones, Praetor Imperium

Judge
Incumbent
Assumed office 
1930

In office
1930–1936
Appointed by Assumed position de facto in Snowman anarchy

Low Magistrate of the Ice Kingdom
In office
1936–1990
Nominated by King of the Ice Kingdom (re-instatement)

Crown Judge of Colonial Antarctica's Normal Penguin Colony
In office
1990–2000
Nominated by King Greg

Judge of the Eastshield Nineteenth State Court of Appeals
Incumbent
Assumed office 
2000
Appointed by Elected

Judge Shroo Jones is TurtleShroom's great-uncle and the oldest judge in Antarctican history, ever. He served as a judge in the Snowman Empire (called a Praetor back then), in Olde Antarctica (as a Magistrate), in Colonial Antarctica, and in the USA.

His age and lifespan has taken a severe toll. He is considered a true cyborg: with oxygen tubes, a pacemaker, prosthesis, and hearing aids, he is as mechanical as he is organic. Judge Shroo Jones is deaf on his left side and can barely hear on his right, but he refuses to stop judging and will probably die on the bench. He vanished into obscurity for decades, until he was chosen to hear the case of USECP v. United States of Antarctica, where he sided with USECP.

His district, AC19-E, is the only jurisdiction without a municipal court and covers Yoenah, Mattress Village, and the borders of Snellville. It is oddly shaped and considered, along with Archet, the finest example of gerrymeandering in Antarctica. Since the USA system, Shroo has never lost a re-election because no one runs against him. Ever.

Judge Shroo is completely illiterate and does not have any education. For most of his young life, he was a farmer and didn't need it.

Background[edit]

Judge Shroo Jones hatched in 1910, three years before Khanzem began. He can still recall Khanzem personally.

Khanzem? It wasn't that bad a place ta be if ya weren't a High Peng-un. We got so-shuh security, looted from them HPs of course, we were given full votin' rights, and some of us gots HP slaves... -but we declined that. I worked fer waht I earned and mah family didn't need no slaves. I was nothin' but a farmuh back then, and too young to get drafted by them Naughtzee. ...-and yeah, I did swear loyalty ta Whoot... -but ya'll had ta if ya wanted to live. Renounced it, too. My opinion of Khanzem? Meh. I ain't a HP, so I wasn't surpressed. I just farmed. I ain't no Naughtzee.
 
— Shroo Jones

Snowman Empire[edit]

Shroo was a farmer from his chickhood and into the early 1930s. The Fall of Khanzem gave way to the Snowman Empire. Shroo quietly labored in the fields until he felt called to public service in 1930. The Snowman Empire was rapidly collapsing, and a severe shortage of loyal Snowman officers allowed for Shroo to obtain power in the dying empire with a simple oath. On June 27th, 1930, Shroo was named Praetor of Uno Valley, but the place was small and self-regulating, so he didn't get many judicial cases, nor did he use any executive powers. In 1935, Snowme fell to Olde Antarctica.

The King of the Ice Kingdom needed to build his kingdom up with the other three elemental realms, and to do this, he needed a government built. Uno Valley and its outlying areas were rural and so small that they were self-governing. The King chose to keep Praetor Shroo as the official in charge. He was not informed of the regime change until 1977, so he still thought Snowme governed.

In 1951, Mattress Village was incorporated. Judge Shroo did not influence the city or its charter, but he wholeheartedly gave his approval and supported the city in moving his courthouse into the city. He relocated in 1965, but he had a Snowman Empire flag flown until he figured out that his world had changed. The building is small and exhibits small decorations and a bit of Snowman architecture, but it is still not air conditioned.

Colonial Antarctica[edit]

Olde Antarctica gave way to Colonial Antarctica in 1990. This time, the aging Shroo was informed of the regime change, and he was appointed by the King to rule "as he always did". Again, he had little to do, but his area of jurisdiction was expanded from just Mattress Village and its valley to a large area stretching halfway to Yoenah in all directions.

When the Revolution occured around 2000, the Revolutionaries wanted to purge every Royal leader from their government. Judge Shroo was a major target, but the people of Mattress Village, who were mostly Loyalists, fought back with a militia of zealous townsfolk for their judge and way of life. Judge Shroo arbitrated an armstice between the Revolutionaries invading and the Loyalists of his hometown. As long as he kept his job, he didn't really care who he served.

USA law required its judges to be elected. The penguins of Mattress Village nominated and voted in Shroo in a landslide victory, because "none of them wanted change". Their fear of change gave Shroo his big break.

USA[edit]

The state of Eastshield finished establishing its borders in late 2001. Their courts were laid out, and they decided to incorporate Shroo into it as a appealate judge. They edited his Colonial jurisdiction, though. See, they didn't want to anger the powerful bloc that was Matress Village- they had 99% voter turnout in a reigon with 27% -but they didn't want to give him any real power in writing precedent.

To circumvent this, they gerrymeandered his district into a thin sliver covering mostly empty forests and a few shacks and outposts, but also Mattress Village and Yoenah and the suburbs of Snellville. All three of these were mega-conservative districts that aligned greatly with the ideals of Shroo. It kept order.

Involvement[edit]

Most of his career was peaceful and quiet, but there were two very important items that he directly had power in during modern times.

USECP v. United States of Antarctica[edit]

Main article: USECP_v._United_States_of_Antarctica#Trial_de_novo_to_AC19-E

Judge Shroo was the only eligible judge that had never heard of Club Penguin or EBUL. USECP, the plaintiff trying to obtain the right to use "Club Penguin" in their name, asked to relocate here to "completely remove bias" and ensure "total impartiality" on the case. USECP agreed, thinkicould win over Shroo with deception and tradition.

Amazingly, Judge Shroo sided with USECP. He took his job seriously and was hurt that USECP saw him as a pushover. The case could have died if a fuss wasn't raised. Judex Maximus, a friend of Shroo in high places, had the case pulled upstairs to hear, because EBUL threw quite a tantrum over Shroo's decision, declaring him incompetent, among other, meaner things.

NICE[edit]

In the early 2000s, a backroom collaboration of penguins travelled to Matress Village to pitch an idea of national identity cards to the ancient Judge Shroo. They convinced him that creatures liked to change their name and that the coutnry was insecure. The Revolution had ended, and since Shroo was a Loyalist, they appealed to his and his peoples' sense of "stability is paramount" to implement a shady, optional, privacy-violating tracking system in exchange for a better name.

He had a paralegal pen his words, translated of course, into what became the "NICE Act". After its success in Mattress Village, the shady backroomers forwarded it to the State Supreme Court of Eastshield, and then to the Superior Courts, and it became national precedent.

It is largely considered an act of forum shopping, because Judge Shroo still lives in a time where his rulings only impacted a small area in an isolated land. They claimed he thought he was still in the Snowman Empire.

Trivia[edit]

  • He does not dress as an Antarctican judge. Even to this day, he maintains the Praetor's judicial regalia. He wears white tunics and other such Snowman garments instead. He does, though, use a gavel.
  • Judge Shroo is illiterate.
  • The judge can not walk.
  • He refers to himself as a Snowman citizen, not an Antarctican.
  • He is TurtleShroom's great-uncle and the second oldest extant Jones member.
  • He seems to have a few good years left in him.
  • He is the last surviving Praetor.

See also[edit]