Slumolia

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t3H uB3r 1337 eP|c wIn n4TiOn of TaliBEAN HOBO str00DELZ d3dIC4T3d to pLeezinG teh C4paTIN bY bl0wInG uP teH P4nc4kE meN4C3!!!1!!11!111!1!!!!!!!
Flag of Slumalia
Mottoينعش! درفلة على الأرض من الضحك بصوت عال! بسكويتات الوفل!
Arabeak: BOOM! Rolling on the floor laughing out loud! WAFFLES!
AnthemMister Bombastic/Lobaloba
NATIONAL SYMBOLS
Captain Str00del
Location of Slumalia
The Str00del map interpretation of Slumolia. Major cities include: The Slums, teH P4nc4kE, OMgR07fl and Str00d3lw0RLd.
CapitalThe Slums
Official languages 1337
Recognised regional languages English, Arabeak
Species  Str00del Extremist Penguins
Hobos from The Slums
Demonym TaliBEAN
Membership Str00del Force
UTR (official state)
"Terrorism"
Anti-UnitedTerra
Government Supreme Leader autocracy with a subordinate but elected president, along with a Congress of Str00dels
 -  t3h uBER le4d3R Osama BEAN Larken
 -  t3h pr3s|d3NT thAT r33LY doN't h4vE po\/\/3r. Ben 100022
Legislature t3H W4FFL3M3NT (The Wafflement)
 -  Upper House s3n4t3 o' 1337ers (Senate of Leeters)
 -  Lower House T.E.H. (Totally Enegergetic House)
Declared Independence Actually, they're not a true country, but a mere state in UnitedTerra with the largest population of Str00dels (and hobos) anywhere. 
 -  Declared "w3'R3 n0t uND3r UR c0unTr33!1!!!" (independence) July 1, 2009 
Population
 -  2016 estimate 500,000 
 -  2016 census 501,470 
Currency Qaedas (Ɯ)
ROTFLZ s4V3 teH sUn
Drives on the WAFFLE SIDE (actually, the right)
Calling code 000
Footnotes Parody of Al-Qaeda/Taliban.
Footnotes No 9/11 will be involved.
Footnotes Ninjinian gave permission to have an Al-Qaeda parody.
Footnotes No waffles were harmed in the making of this nation.

Slumolia, also called "t3H uB3r 1337 eP|c wIn n4TiOn of TaliBEAN h0BO str00DELZ d3dIC4T3d to pLeezinG teh C4paTIN bY bl0wInG uP teH P4nc4kE meN4C3!!!1!!11!111!1!!!!!!!", is a state in UnitedTerra. It contains the largest population of Str00dels anywhere in Antarctica, and is also the poorest state in UT. The Str00dels in this region are very hostile to others and love to blow things up (like Freaker Explorer).

The evil Ben 100022 recently took office as president, thus overthrowing the previous president after less than a week in office.

The War in Slumolia with UnitedTerra has been ongoing ever since the foundation of the nation in 2009, even though it considers it its own nation.

In 2015, President Ben 100022 was finally captured by UnitedTerra Forces. This then led to the emergence of the al-Halan terrorist government.

History[edit]

The movement to seccede from UnitedTerra began in The Slums. A bunch of Str00del hobos had gathered around a bonfire, all of whom were crazier than teh Captain himself.


"d0n'T u h4tE n|nJINi4N?"


"ROTFL, y3z i D0."


"u lUv teH C4ptaIn?"


"YEZ."


"w3Ll, i no hOW 2 pl3aze hIM!"


"how??!11!!1?"


"bL0w StuFF Up |n hiZ naM3!"


"LOL U R A GENIUS!"


"l3t'z m4k3 a CounTR33!!"


Hobos cheer.


From there, the Str00dels created rules and laws that they claimed were based on the Captain's sayings and opinions, even though the Captain himself criticized those actions.

Everything they do is for the Captain, so they claim, but the Captain calls them "scarer-ists" and says that the TaliBEANS are not true Str00dels.

Ben became president on July 12, 2009 and under his and Osama BEAN Larken's leadership the scarer-ists are becoming a force to be reckoned with.

Currency[edit]

Their currency, called the Qaeda, is a silver coin worth five fish or ten CP coins. The front of the coin bears a pattern of a waffle (the checkerboard shape of said pastry), and the back has a picture of the Captain and Mister Bean.

Language[edit]

The official languages of Slumolia are Arabeak and Leet. Leet for practical Str00del reasons, while Arabeak is the secret language of the Hobos and everyone in the regime. English is recognized as a language. Ben can't speak Leet, so he made it a recognized language with BEAN Larken's permission.


TaliBEANS[edit]

Lifestyle[edit]

The TaliBEANS live by a strict and insanse set of laws that they claim are based off of Captain Str00del's sayings, spam, and opinions. They are translated from Leet for your viewing pleasure.

"thIngZ U c4n'T H4v oR uZ3:"

Pancakes, any non-tapioca pudding, anything involving screenhogs, anything with penguin feathers in them, cinnamon, satillite television (cable is fine), pictures of any breakfast food not specifically mentioned by the Captain, ShamOMG!, pictures of MOAR KRABS, vacuums, polka, cubed cheese (but sliced is fine), clown shoes, screeching like chimpanzees (whatever that is), waving a flashlight in the air, hoopskirts, playing the clarinet badly, wearing sombreros in a goofy fashion, DVD players (VCRs are legal), chess, lotion, anything mentioning Amac, and encyclopedias of any kind.


  • TaliBEAN Explanations for each:
    • CS says pancakes are a menace to society. Anyone caught with pancakes are smacked by socks filled with frozen butter.
    • Sp00nzoid only eats tapioca pudding.
    • The Captain thinks Screenhogs are fat.
    • Penguin feathers make the Captain sneeze when rubbed against him.
    • Cinnamon is fatal to CS, it was said food allergy that killed him.
    • Satillite TV is lame, CS claims. He ONLY uses Cable, like Billy Mays.
    • If the Captain or a Force leader doesn't say its name, it's bad breakfast to a TaliBEAN. That eliminates cereal, omelettes, nachos, bacon, toast, pancakes, bananas, muffins, and yogurt, to name a few. However, the Captain LOVES cereal, toast, AND muffins, though he's never spammed about it.
    • "ShamOMG!" is the exact and evil opposite of Billy Mays. Anyone caught with a "ShamOMG!" is hung by their feet (if they have any) and are left to hang there for three days with oly bread (but not toast) and water to eat. If they can't do that, they're locked in a broom closet for three days with only bread and water to eat.
    • They lack a reason for MOAR KRABS. MOAR KRABS is one of the Captain's best friends.
    • Vacuums are one of the few things ghosts can't escape from.
    • Polka music is evil.
    • Captain Str00del prefers sliced cheese.
    • Clowns scare the Captain.
    • The sound of a chimpanzee, so the story goes, scares CS.
    • Ghosts don't like flashlights shined directly at them.
    • CS says hoopskirts are tacky.
    • Captain Str00del HATES clarinets. He prefers the recorder and the piccolo, as well as the flute. His favorite, however, is the bassoon.
    • Since CS makes robotic chahuahuas, and since Chihuahuas are associated with sombreros, wearing them in a goofy fashion is disrespectful to the Captain.
    • CS prefers VCRs to DVDs. The only time a DVD player can be used is to record DVDs onto VHS tapes and then tossing out the DVDs. The Captain says he has no real problem with DVDs, he just views VHS as an "3pIC w|N!!11!1!11!!1!".


Their creedo is:

 !وأنا أفعل ذلك لالنقيب. ويقول النقيب أنا شرير. هل هذا يعني أنا لا حق في نظر بلادي الزعيم؟ وآمل أن لا
Arabeak: I do so for the Captain. Captain says I'm evil. Does this mean I am not right in the eyes of my leader? I hope not!

This controversial rule puts the entire TaliBEAN's existence into question. Remember, the Captain is REFORMED.

Raiding[edit]

A dozen of Str00dels crossed into The Slums and raided the place & scared all the penguins. The 12 Str00dels weren't that smart, and thought the penguins jumped into the sea-water, atleast that's what they thought....


"ROTFL! wE raIdEd Th3 S1umS! In y0ur f4Ce n|nJINi4N!" said one Str00del.


"Freeze Str00dels!"


"0h n0Ez! iT's Th3 ppT!" said a Str00del maniacally.


"QuiCk1y, Str00d3Ls! Fl33!" cried another Str00del.


"They're gone."


After a while, the PPT got more troops protecting The Slums, standing around the coast 24/7. They were keeping guard for weeks, but they thought that the Str00dels wouldn't come again, so they started becoming more lazy on guard, drinking coffee so that they kept awake, but soon almost all of them had gone to sleep one day. It was past midnight, and 3/4 of the troops had drunk too much coffee, and were sleeping.


"Ch4rg3 T4l!Be4n$! L01Z!" shouted a Str00del, who had came back, double the amount before, naming themselves the TaliBEAN. Their leader was now Osama BEAN Larken.


"LOLZ!"


"Look out troops! Here they come!" signalled a troop of the PPT. Only 4 penguins took notice. The rest were asleep.


"G3t 0uT Th3 Sp4m B0mB5 L012!"


"Oh no!" screeched a troop.


"T4ke 0v3r Th3 wh0Le P1Ac3! L4-J4-HA-HA-JA!"


The troops took their escape pods to notify the UnitedTerra Parliament, but decided to keep it like that. Ninjinian thought that it would be best to keep all the Str00dels, an individual group now called TaliBEAN in one place, and that all the other penguins would flee to a secret base on the edge of The Slums, but would keep them under surveillance.

In an attempt to quell the Str00dels, the Cookie Master granted Slumalia full statehood.

Southwest Slumolia[edit]

In 2000, young Swiss Ninja saw the poverty and Evil in the state of Slumolia. He wanted to stop the evil government and save the people, so he gathered all of the soldiers in the UCSN, and attempted to invade Slumolia. Southwestern Slumolia is the most weakest area in the State, so he invaded it first. By the time his army came to The Slums, the enemy had already been prepared and outnumbered the UCSN. Swiss Ninja only attempted to control Southwest Slumolia. He made it the official territory of the United Cities of Swiss Ninja. He sent money to Southwest Slumolia to fix the government and the economy. The old rundown houses were fixed, and the former Hobos of the streets now have new houses to live in and plenty of food to eat. The area also created a statue of Swiss Ninja that has a plaque on the platform of the statue that says, قد ورد السويسري نينجا احترام دولتنا لتحقيق الازدهار, in English: May Lord Swiss Ninja be honored for bringing our state prosper. Southwest Slumolia was left to be a small, ignored colony only led by a colonial governor without any true power. As the UCSN transitioned into Snowzerland, very little improvements were made in the lives of the citizens, though he built an airport for them. However, none of them use it, and it is now a military base for the UnitedTerrans.

Then, Swiss Ninja renamed the place PenGaul, which upset the citizens, who were unrepresented and did not want to be compared to Frankterre. He sent soldiers to stop uprising, and tried to convince them that PenGaul is a better name than Slumolia and promised a better future.


However, as Fred so beautifully put it:


Changing the name of Southwest Slumolia to PenGaul disrespects the name of Slumolia by removing the word "Slumolia" from the name.
All Slumolian Str00dels dislike the disrespect of their homeland's name.
Thus, no Slumolian Str00dels will like the change of SW Slumolia's name.
All Slumolian Str00dels fight against that which they dislike.
Thus, the Slumolian Str00dels will fight against this change of name.


Swiss Ninja withdrew his troops in November 2009, giving the land back to Slumolia. Southwest Slumolia has been considered one of Swiss Ninja's early failures, and a topic that is forbidden to be discussed in Snowzerland. Anyone who dares to mention the Snoss colonial failure in Southwest Slumolia is sentenced to life in a labor camp.

Government[edit]

The Government of Slumalia is straightforward.

The absolute leader is called "t3h uBER le4d3R", and is the final say in all government matters. This position is held by Osama BEAN Larken. The position of t3h uBER le4d3R is dynastic, each one chooses their successor. Roles of an uber Leader include having the final say in all manners, the ability to override any law or decree by the Wafflement, and the power to issue a reelection in case a vote is rigged. An Uber Leader can not be impeached.

Below the t3h uB34 le4d3R is the position of "t3h pr3s|d3NT thAT r33LY doN't h4vE po\/\/3r". This position, which is directly elected by the people, serves as the spokesperson for the Uber Leader and as a subordinate executive. The President's power includes vetoing or approving bills (though this can be overriden by the Uber Leader), allowing or denying military orders (which can also be overriden) or firing government employees. The President can be impeached if enough of the masses want it, or if the Uber Leader chooses to fire him. If a president is impeached, the Uber Leader can not change their mind and override it.

Finally, the legislature of Slumalia is called the Wafflement. They debate, reject, or pass laws which are sent in by the hobos and citizens of the state. The Uber Leader can override anything they vote, say, decree, or do. Representatives to the Wafflement are elected by the masses but can be rejected by the Uber Leader. All of them are either Str00dels or hobos, though there is one normal creature who represents the UTR and its affairs.


UTR recognizes the government as-is but emphasizes that Ninjinian, the actual leader, can overide Slumalia's government, since they are a state government. The Wafflement is viewed as a state legislature. No laws passed by the Wafflement apply outside of Slumalia. The President isn't acknowledged by UTR at all, because Ben is widely despised in UnitedTerra. The Uber Leader is called the Governor by UTR officials.

As a small state, Slumalia gets to have one seat in the UnitedTerra Parliament. The (annoying) parlimentary representative is elected by Slumalian citizens.


Places[edit]

All government takes place in the ramshackle capitol of The Slums, which is offically (by UTR recognition) the town's city hall and the area where the Governor makes his home and holds office. The Wafflement is also near this building, in an alley behind it that is shielded by a tin roof from the elements. Under the roof are plastic desks where the representatives sit and vote. Osama BEAN Larken, the current Uber Leader isn't here often, he only comes when there is something he needs to override. He can normally be found in his palace on the mainland.


Geography[edit]

See The Slums for the geography of the capital. For the mainland part of Slumolia, see UnitedTerra.


Flag, Motto, and Anthem[edit]

The flag of Slumalia is white with black Arabeak scribbles. On top of these are to red bars and a waffle in a top hat.

The motto of the state is:
ينعش! درفلة على الأرض من الضحك بصوت عال! بسكويتات الوفل!

Roughly translated, it means "BOOM! Rolling on the floor laughing out loud! WAFFLES!".


The national anthem, Mister Bombastic/Lobaloba, is also Mister Bean's favorite song.

The royal anthem, used for monarch entry, is Mission Impossible. However, whenever possible, a movie of Mister Bean dancing to it must be projected while the monarch enters.


Inhabitants[edit]

  • Hobos. Hobos wholeheartedly support the TaliBEAN regime, since they can't afford any of their banned stuff anyway.
  • Str00dels. Not every Str00del works for the Regime, many just live here because it is a haven for them.


Villains[edit]

  • TaliBEANS. These extremist Str00dels, in an attempt to "please the Captain", blow up civillian targets with Spam Bombs and use fiercer weaponry on pancake factories. Captain Str00del is satisfied with the pancake demolition (so long as no one gets hurt at all), but he's against the other practices.


See also[edit]


Free Republics of the USA, UnitedTerra, and other places