Social Security in the United States of Antarctica

From Club Penguin Fanon Wiki
(Redirected from Social Security)
Jump to: navigation, search

Social Security is a populist doctrine that ensures the needy classes of society are provided with enough funds to eek out an existance or a minimum standard of living. Depending on the country, this cash will be a bare minimum and force the benefactor to take iniative if they want more than just an existance, or it will be a whole welfare system dedicated to supplying them with luxeries as well as needs.

Social Security is a broad term that can encompass everything from pension funds, to medical reimbursement, to free welfare checks to those who could still work, to funds for the disabled and the laid off, and even acts of charity provided by the government (as opposed to private chairty).

In United States of Antarctica politics, the Geezer Fund, also called the Elders' Reimbursement and Money for Old People, is a dedicated trust fund ensuring social security to old people. It is the primary form of Social Security in the country, and, along with the Grand Pension for medical expenses and the Mccane Trust for war veterans, form the sole makeup of the USA's welfare state.'

Currently available only to Lesser penguins over fifty and High Penguins over one hundred twenty, the Geezer Fund remains solvent only because nothing in the fund can be taken out for anything else except paying old people. Not even Benny embezzles the Geezer Fund; this isn't because he's a good puffle, it's because certain creatures would nag persue him if he did. Puffles and other creatures are not eligible for GF benefits, the former because puffles are considered chattel and the latter because of gridlock in the South Pole Council.

Its founding law ordered the President to use his Constitutional bureaucracy instatement to create a Geezer Council for maintaining the Fund, headed by the Pensionmaster and a board of Trustees. It is also the first time that the legislature has ever mandated/forced the President to excercise one of his duties of office, and it is the first time that the Presedential power of creating bureaucracies "at whim" has been regulated, leading to questions of its constitutionality.

The law[edit]

At the very end of 2010, Melvin Turtleheimer, acting on advice of TurtleShroom Jones, a good friend, proposed a new bill to the South Pole Council. Called the Protection of Antarctican Seniors Act of 2010, it was instated to reform the way the country deals with old people, and provided a relief to Snowflake Valley Retirement Home by giving seniors the chance to live on their own without compulsary relocation to the facility.

Text of the law[edit]


PREAMBLE: Reasons to Neccesitate this Law[edit]

  • WHEREAS, senior citizens must currently plan for their retirment on their own with little help,
  • WHEREAS, many old people don't know how to properly save up for retirement,
  • WHEREAS, the United States of Antarctica currently does little with the tax money it creates, spare junkets, war, wasteful spending, and strange pet projects amongst the Legislature assembled,
  • WHEREAS, the government could do more to protect the citizens it governs,
  • WHEREAS, seniors are epic and are deserving of funds to protect them as they age, and in need of assistance,
  • WHEREAS, creatures that work their whole life deserve a break,

The South Pole Council assembled,
HEREBY drafts the Protection of Antarctican Seniors Act of 2010 and places it on the floor for voting.

ARTICLE ONE: Creation of the Geezer Fund[edit]

Be it established, a Fund created solely for the payout to elders.

  • §1. Whenever so deemed neccesary, but at a minimum of once per fiscal year, the IIRS shall always apportion an amount of all taxes collected so that all applicants for this Fund can receive the equivalent of, adjusted for inflation and exchange rates amongst currencies of the States, the worth of nine hundred fifteen Club Penguin Coins every month, without cessation, for all eligble applicants in persuance to Article Four Section One Clause A of this Bill.
  • §2. These apportioned Funds, now seperate from the general treasury of Antarctica, shall be placed in a special trust fund exclusively for the purposes outlined in this Bill, and shall be Divided and Delivered to Seniors on the Payroll each month, the amount persuant to Section One of this Article.
    • a). Under no circumstances shall any money within this Fund be embezzled, relocated, removed, depleted, or transfered to any other fund or purpose within the government, except to pay the seniors for which it was established to pay.
      • 1. All money put into the Geezer Fund can not be taken out for anything except the fund's purposes; this is to construed so that it can be compared to a fiscal black hole; it will be one way in, no way out.
    • b). Failure to comply with this shall result in immediate prosecution persuant to Article _ of this Bill.

ARTICLE TWO: Administration of the Funds[edit]

To provide for the proper handling and management of the budget.

P1: The President shall, upon passage of this Bill, be mandated to excercise his Constitutional power to create new executive posts and hierarchies to establish a sub-department of the Treasury, answerable to the Minister of the same, for administration of the Geezer Fund. This board shall consist of a Pensionmaster he so appoints, and two other Geezer Trustees which he deems suitable to handle the Geezer Fund.

  • §1. The Minister of the Treasury shall hold accountable the Pensionmaster and his department, including the Fund, and shall be given the authority to command and assist them in executing this law and delivering funds as need be. The Minister of the Treasury can not, however, fire or discharge a Pensionmaster or Geezer Trustee, this power reserved to the President himslef, with the consent of the Head Sysop of the Internal Reaper Service.
    • a). For purposes of this bill, "consent" shall be construed to mean the expressed approval (saying yes) to the termination, by the leader of the IIRS.

  • P2: Be it resolved that the duties of the Pensionmaster and Trustees, appointed in concurrence with Paragraph One of this Article, and with Section One of the same, be granted as follows.
  • §1. It is the duty of the Pensionmaster and the Trustees to decide regulations and make discernment as to who and what gets the Pension Funds, provided they are not outlined in this bill already. They may create new intradepartmental rules by simple majority vote. This decision may be overridden by the Minister of the Treasury or the President himself.

P3: The Pensionmaster and Trustees shall always monitor the flow of currency in the Fund, and report errors or inadequcies to the Treasury and to the IIRS. They are not to permit any violations as referenced in Article One Section Two Clause A of this bill and, in the event of embezzlement within the government department, must expel the unclean member immediately, turning him to the federal level courts for immediate prosecution in persuance to Article _ of this bill.

ARTICLE THREE: Prosecution of Illegal Depletion[edit]

It shall be deemed a Felony to remove or otherwise deplete the exclusive Geezer Fund for anything that is not its purpose- funds for elders -for any reason in any means whatsover, as referenced in Article One Section Two and reiterated in Subclause One of the same.

States shall have the authority to create and enforce penalties for incidents regarding GF Depletion, and to administer justice therein as prescribed by their state laws, provided that the minimum punishment of ten years, a fine of eighty thousand coins to the Fund itself, or both, or, in the case of an actual Fund employee, his termination, are met in their own penal codes.

All criminal cases relating to the Geezer Fund are to be tried before the federal court with jurisdiction over the location of the commited crime.

ARTICLE FOUR: Eligibility[edit]

  • §1. Antarctican seniors eligible for the funds as described in Article One of this Bill must meet these terms:
    • a). They must be a penguin of any species at a certain age prescribed as follows.
      • 1). If this penguin is a High Penguin (taxonomy Licentiabellatoris babae), his or her age of eligibility will be surpassing one hundred twenty years.
      • 2). If this penguin is a Lesser penguin, his or her age of eligibility will be surpassing fifty years.
    • b). They must be citizens of the United States of Antarctica, or lawful residents either on visa or by immigration, etc., in manners prescribed by their state of residency.
    • c). They must successfully file an application form for the Fund. The paper's contents shall be dictated by the IIRS.
    • d). They must not have intentional or consensual ties, direct or indirect, to the Injoface Family or any member therein.
    • e). They must meet any regulation or restriction further created by the Trustees.
  • §2: the Trustees have the authority to deny any senior coverage or claim to the Fund for any reason they see fit. Any penguin fitting the descriptions in Clauses A through D may call for legal remedy may be taken, though, to sue for the benefits. It will be the discretion of the judges of the land to affirm or deny said claims, and/or to strike out rules made by the Trustees.

ARTICLE FIVE: Challenging denial of coverage[edit]

Penguins, eligble under Clauses A through D of Article One who feel unjustly deprived of their benefits under any regulations set in accordance with Clause E of Article Four Section One may challenge and sue the government for their share of the Geezer Fund by filing a Clause E Complaint with their local court of first instance. From there, the Constituional and State procedures of court hierarchy and judicial review shall ensue for the case. State courts may not turn down or refuse to here Geezer Fund challenges.

The Pensionmaster alone, and not the Trustees, shall have the authority to define the application for complaint, but in no way may it be constructed in a format that inhibits any filer from doing so, nor be bloated in means that punitively restricts the ability to file, nor be longer than two pages, in a twelve point font made for printing on a standard letter.


It is the hopes of the writers and sponsors of this Bill that, in enacting and running this Fund, seniors all across Antarctica will have a better quality of life and be able to stand on their own to webbed feet.


The Fund, Administration, and the Pensionmaster[edit]

Geezer Council
Department overview
Formed January 2011
Jurisdiction Nationwide (USA)
Headquarters Snellville
Employees Estimated 1003 nationwide
Annual budget Unlimited1
Parent department Ministry of the Treasury
Key document Protection of Antarctican Seniors Act of 2010
1: technically, it is limited, but not by much. The number of eligible penguins times nine hundred fifteen becomes the budget for the Geezer Fund (as mandated in the law), plus an addition two hundred thousand pebbles for salaries for the employees.
Pensionmaster of the Geezer Fund

since 2011
Appointer Billybob
Term length Life
Inaugural holder Eldridge2
Formation December 30th, 2010 (sworn in January 2011)
Deputy Trustees of the Pension Fund

18,000 coins /y

Style Your Honor

As the law said, three penguins were appointed to head a new bureaucracy under the hegemony of the Ministry of the Treasury. They were trusted with the administration and dispersal of the funds to each senior every month. The states quickly jumped on the idea, and it was met with tremendous support.

Criminal penalties for embezzlement/unlawful depletion by state[edit]

Below is the punishment for depleting the fund in each state. If a smaller administrative division (e.g. a district or a city) has a harsher punishment, it will be listed seperately.

State, area, or municipality Punishment
Eastshield Fifteen years of prison and ineligibility for the Fund.
West Pengolia The minimum (federal) sentance, and twenty four hours in the stockades before incarceration.
Trans-Antarctica Forty years of prison and a fine of one hundred thousand pebbles, plus ineligibility for the Fund.
Sub-Antarctica The minimum sentance.
Antarctic Penninsula Either a fine of five hundred thousand pebbles but still eligible, or the minimum jail time with ineligibility.
Club Penguin Perma-ban and ineligibility for the Fund. If a Member, membership is eternally revoked. GF violations are prosecuted by the Moderators, not the EPF or EBUL.
Snellville Life sentence.
Mattress Village Minimum sentance and one stroke of the cane per pebble siphoned, maximum strokes being one thousand five hundred.
Archet {Pending Triskelle.}
Happyface State Minimum punishments.
In the event that it
somehow cross stae lines
(interstate/federal jurisdiction)
The penal code of the involved states with the highest punishment is executed on the felon.
Bureau of Fiction Termination of employment
(no other penalty; Director Benny shockingly doesn't embezzle because someone would find out and tell TS, who would yell at him all day)


The introduction of Social Security in the USA was hailed as a "basic assertion of rights" and praised across the board. Even Libertarians knew better than to criticize such a populist act, or else they'd get attacked by old people.

Criticisms, of course, point to the substansial debt it will initially incur, but they happily note that the fund is dedicated and will therefore maintain solvency and surplus for decades after, needing little projected input after a certain number of years.

Issues, criticism, and controversy[edit]


Oftentimes, it is questioned whether the section of the bill forcing the President to create a bureaucracy is constitutional. The Constitution of the United States of Antarctica states that the resident may create bureaucracies "at whim", implying that it is his choice and his alone whether or not he wants to have some specific department to carry out the law.

Proponents of strict interpretation state that the President should not be compelled because the Framers specifically opposed it, but opponents belive that reasonable provisions can be attached to any law, so that the law can be done. (After all, they argue, if there wasn't a bureaucracy, who or what would do it? What would each state decide without some sort of uniformity? How would the law be enforced?)

Exclusion of puffles and non-penguins[edit]

Puffles, in United States of Antarctica law, and by the Constitution of the same, are considered "chattel" (property) and therefore have no federal-level rights except voting and basic natural rights, like protection of life, liberty, and property (puffles can own property in all states except West Pengolia), and they can be emancipated if ownership becomes oppression. (Pets and slaves are considered seperate in USA constituional law.)

Independent puffles(those without a master), such as famous machinary tycoon Mecha Baron, argue that intelligent puffles without masters, acting as individuals, should be allowed to partake in the funds when they pass a certain age, because they are usually considered a "creature" before the law. The courts have beenshy about ruling on the status of puffles, because puffles are either owned, independent, or feral, and they fear that a big ruling would make wild, illiterate puffles eligible to vote, for example.

Melvin's criticism[edit]

Melvin Turtleheimer, an original author of the bill, despised the "penguins only" clause that was included to pacify gridlock amongst pro-penguin/specist creatures, and to invoke a cloture on a Filibuster led by none other than the very specist Penghis Khan. He belives that non-penguins that work their butts off for generations deserve the money as much as any penguin.

Lack of low-income aid[edit]

Some penguins, such as Agent Johnson, The Leader, Sanchonachos, and John Massachutses, feel that the funds should extend beyond elders, the disabled, and soldiers, and extend to low income families: a Medicaid system.

This has been met with fierce criticism from more conservative South Pole Council members, all of whom have vowed to abuse their branch's Consitutional provision for the filibuster "and run it into the ground" to stop it from "giving bums and moochers a ticket not to work". Included in this list are Melvin, Penghis Khan, the Great Snailzini, Cardinal Carl, and rumor has it, Explorer. They argue that low income assistance, housing projects, and things for the working poor are and should be provided by private charities, especially the massive network of public aid in Coins for Change.

They feel that the government should only focus on those who absolutely have no way to help themselves or work: elders, the disabled, and the laid off.


Fact Data
Number of eligible Lesser penguins Est. 2,000,000 (of billions of non-eligible penguins)
Number of eligible Lesser recipiants
applied and receiving funds
Benefits apportioned monthly Currently, ҉ 641040765
Clause E Complaints filed in 2011 11,981
Complaints denied 4,001
Number of High Penguins eligible 80,000
High Penguins claiming benefits 1000
(HPs are proud of self-sufficency and "don't need no bloody free handout")
State with the most claimants Antarctic Penninsula
State with the least claimants Happyface State

Social security elsewhere[edit]

The USA is not the first to enact Social Security.

  • The first was Freezeland, which granted security to all High Penguins in Year 800 AD (as the High Penguin Confederacy), and then expanded to all Lessers in 1939 (as the independent country). The High Penguin Confederacy insured HPs for millinia.
  • PreTerra introduced it in the 1700s via the National Insurance Scheme. UnitedTerra followed this up and has continued doing so.
  • Khanzem reversed this and insured all Lessers, and looted High Penguin property to pay for it so that Lessers wouldn't have to.
  • Snowman Empire and Olde Antarctica abolished it.
  • Colonial Antarctica allowed each colony to choose to do so or not. Only a few took up the offer.
  • Lichenblossom was the second state to enact social security. Since the liberation from Fort Kosher, all Lichenblossomese citizens and legal residents have received Soial Security oayments.
  • Margate Antarctica quickly followed, enacting its provisions in the late 1970s.
  • The United Antarctic Nations mandated all members to provide their subjects some sort of Social Security scheme.

This makes the USA the fifth nation to have it.

See also[edit]