Square Islands

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Territory of Square Islands
Square Islands
MottoN/A.
Location of Sq. Isles
The most ridiculous islands ever!... and somehow they're shaped perfectly.
Official languages English (spoken and written)
l33t (written)
Species  Penguins
Government N/A (!!!)
Establishment
 -  Discovery 1996 
 -  Overhaul 2010 
Population
 -  2018 estimate N/A (!!!!!) 
Currency Gold Coin (GC)
Drives on the Right
Welcome to the Square Islands. If you are a young child fascinated with technology, a mechanic fascinated with technology, or anyone just fascinated with technology, this is your place to be! If you are an expert hacker, please leave the room.
 
— Square Islands tourist greeting

The Square Islands, often abbreviated as the Sq. Islands or just Sq. Isles, are two plain islands located north from the Warmslates. They used to be completely uninhabited, as the UAN determined it to be extremely uninhabitable. However, several years ago the EPF claimed the land and began to work with the BoF to design various inventions (mostly robots). They were originally named Cutter Island and South Island by the Warmslatians, but were renamed East Square Island and West Square Island by the EPF.

History[edit]

Creation[edit]

Centuries ago, the Square Islands were accidentally generated in the BoF. At the time, they didn't have the technology to delete it, so the Masters at that time decided to tell no one about it, including their descendants. But that didn't mean it couldn't be discovered.

Geographically, it is thought that the islands were originally connected, with the exact date of their separation unknown. At first it was in a shape of a rectangle, but storms from the north-east are thought to have formed the intense mountains.

Initial Discovery[edit]

In 1996, DRW explorers who were searching for land to conquer for Warmslates found the western Square Island. They searched through it, but found nothing of value. It was just a mountainous, infertile land that was useful for nothing. When meteorologists studied its weather, they found it to have harsh winters and summers and late springs, rendering it a terrible place to live. It was quickly abandoned and remained untouched for years.

Purchase[edit]

In 2010, the Square Islands were put up for sale for no apparent reason. Due to its horrible agriculture, no one really wanted it, except for some random guy who paid a single coin more than the starting bid. Meanwhile, the EPF required more working space, so they decided to buy the island and give it a complete overhaul. Thus, they managed to purchase the island from the UAN with two coins more than the starting bid.

Overhaul[edit]

Upon purchase, the EPF began to obliterate the mountains to build various buildings to create their gadgets. By this point not even diehard environment lovers cared since the Square Islands contributed nothing to the world anyway.

Status, Economy, Inhabitants[edit]

The islands aren't exactly considered a country by some because of how completely ridiculous the entire concept is, but as a whole they are a confirmed country (mostly because no one else owns the place). However no one properly lives there, so there's no economy or inhabitants to talk about. The islands retain the USA's GC currency, as well as Fish.

Tourism[edit]

A fun place to be if you're interested in technology. However, if you aren't a fan of stuff that defies logic, steer clear of this one.
 
— Review of the Square Islands tourism service

Strangely enough, tourism is extremely common. There are various hotels, and virtual reality simulations exist. As of 2015, Square Islands has had about 3.14 million visits since the opening of its tourism in 2011.

Military[edit]

Wait, what military?

In all seriousness, there's not much to say about that. Various EPF agents and soldiers stay to protect the islands, armed with the islands' weaponry. Even so, there's usually only about 50-100 soldiers on guard, because no one would want to invade a super-high-tech land mass with robots, explosives, insanely huge guns, insanely huge swords, cookies that somehow make you invincible, and boxes that spring out its contents when it detects an impact.

But the reason for this is that Sq. Isles is fine on its own.

To elaborate, Area 70 holds the emergency button to release all of the islands' mechanisms for self defense. Incomplete or not, multiple giant robots, a huge gun, a huge sword, invincibility-inducing cookies, and a shield so indestructible you'll break the floor if you drop it is not something anyone wants to face. However, this is through all definitions a Dangerous Forbidden Technique, as activating Area 70 risks severe internal damage throughout anything incomplete. If need be, the Masters of the Universe, or, if even more need be, we, can shut it down manually.

Geography[edit]

Ooh. This one's a touchy subject.

Simply put, Square Islands' geography is atrocious. There's no fertile land, tons of mountains block your way (well, at least they used to, until they died), there's no reliable food source, there's too much water, and there's no useful minerals to speak of. Until the overhaul, it was entirely covered in moss.

After the overhaul, geography still sucked because the islands polluted the air and then sent that air into the CyberVoid for no apparent reason. It's also come to some penguins' attention that 0.001% of the islands' landmass is superglue (specifically, that of Area 66).

Trade[edit]

Alright, on to a not-so-touchy subject.

The islands are great at exporting stuff. Apparently, there are lots of penguins who either like robots or boxes that spring open their contents. Any mass-produced items not made for weaponry is usually exported. What they aren't so good at is importing, because, well, to put it shortly, they "cheat". To elaborate, they borrow metal from the Tiny Defense universe, which can literally produce metal out of nothing (although this is sort of justified since someone else does it too).

Areas[edit]

Be prepared, this gets kinda big.

Areas
  • AREA 01: The main facility. It's relatively small and hosts a few upgrades to the EPF's basic weapons.
  • AREA 02: The tourist hall, where tourist groups gather.
  • AREA 03: The port on the top left island.
  • AREA 04: The port on the bottom right island.
  • AREA 05: A coffee shop. No, seriously.
  • AREA 06-15: Several hotel buildings on the top left island. Somehow, they actually get filled, all except for Area 13, which is somehow always empty.
  • AREA 16: A bomb shelter on the top left island. Y'know, juuust in case.
  • AREA 17: A bomb shelter on the bottom right island. Why? See Area 16.
  • AREA 18: A virtual reality room where tourists can try out gadgets in their current state without causing mass destruction.
  • AREA 20: The science facility, in charge of all biological, chemical, radioactive, ecological, meteorology wait what, and all else.
  • AREA 21: The calculation facility. The place calculates various variables, but for some reason can never get 9 + 10 correctly.
  • AREA 19: The secondary calculation facility. Usually used to solve 9 + 10.
  • AREA 22: Stores all records. Also counts as a history facility to make sure historymistakes aren't repeated.
  • AREA 23: A literature faci- wait why is this even here?
  • AREA 24: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • AREA 25: Even funnier than 24.
  • AREA 26: A facility mainly for the EPF.
  • AREA 27: Studies locomotives, just in case we want more trains.
  • AREA 28: Works on communication systems, even though the MPG and NOKIA are mainly weaponry.
  • AREA 29: Gets rid of scrap, one way or another.
  • AREA 30: Stores explosives... because we all know keeping all of your explosives in one place is a fantastic idea.
  • AREA 31: Works on mechanical joints.
  • AREA 32: Designs machines, gadgets and robots.
  • AREA 33: Creates the basic skeleton of everything.
  • AREA 34: Works on aesthetics. Most penguins in the area want to work here.
  • AREA 35: Tests metals, just in case we can make something stronger than titanium.
  • AREA 36: Does most of the coding.
  • AREA 37: Does the rest of the coding.
  • AREA 38: Designs artificial intelligence and shapes each one's personality.
  • AREA 39: Surveillance for the top left island.
  • AREA 40: Surveillance for the bottom right island.
  • AREA 41: Surveillance to check for any incoming viruses, worms, trojans, or rickrolling.
  • AREA 42: Surveillance checking the island's social media.
  • AREA 43: Pumps electricity.
  • AREA 44: Testing grounds. Usually blows up.
  • AREA 45-50: More hotels, on the bottom right island.
  • AREA 51: TOP SECRET
  • AREA 52: Politics, because no matter how insanely weird it is, Sq. Isles is still a country.
  • AREA 53: Economy, because 52.
  • AREA 54-60: Buildings for workers to rest.
  • AREA 61: Archaeology...? Why is this even here?
  • AREA 62: EXtra LocKed LogiC Department, for all the logic-related stuff. For whatever reason the acronym for it is also the name of a certain webcomic.
  • AREA 63: The department next door for the illogical stuff that somehow works.
  • AREA 64: A 4 by 4 by 4... restroom. What.
  • AREA 65: The gun testing facility, made separate after what happened to Area 44 after the URAD's first test.
  • AREA 66: Unfortunately going here does not mean you get to turn every clone warrior against their allies. Just in case someone wanted to do it, Area 66 is just a large cardboard box super-glued to the earth.
  • AREA 67: The "bizarre" room, where they come up with ridiculously overblown details that would be utterly useless in battle but look really cool.
  • AREA 68: The same thing as Area 89.
  • AREA 69: Let's not talk about this one.
  • AREA 70: Emergency button. This broadcasts a signal to all mechanisms in the island with the exception of weapons and the Advanced Shuriken Suit. AI will immediately activate and everything will be dispatched to defend the island.
  • AREA 71-83: Under construction
  • AREA 84: A facility mainly for the BoF.
  • AREA 89: The same thing as Area 68.
  • AREA 99: Holds everything that is almost complete. Usually empty, except for the large imposing Advanced Shuriken Suit.

Creations[edit]

Various projects originate here, large and small. However, there are times when the blueprint-writers get a little too creative and end up thinking of the most bizarre things, such as the NOKIA #3310 and the Infinity Constellation. Thus, as expected, many of these projects take an extremely long time to build and may not even function properly.

Complete[edit]

  • Quake Hammer: A large hammer that creates earthquakes, it is the first successful invention of the Square Islands and has been mass produced for EPF use. The original one resides in Area 01.
  • Binch Cookies: Cookies modeled after a South Joseonese snack. Other than tasting good, they somehow make the user temporarily invincible, with a catchy 8-bit tune and all. Not only that, the invention didn't backfire. Despite its name, however, binging on them is probably a terrible idea.
  • Sword to End All Swords (SEAS): An insanely humongous sword. Clearly, someone had too much Cream Soda one night. Although thanks to the simplicity of creating a sword, it was finished. There's no need for it as of now, though, and will likely never be mass produced due to the fact that only giant robots would be able to use them.
  • Eject Box: A box with a simple mechanism where it springs its contents out when it detects an impact. Currently being mass produced for whatever reason.
  • Tobot C: A police car themed Hero Mecha unit; he went through various phases of redevelopment due to an impractical weapon that required the mecha's pilot to scream into a microphone. He has since joined the ranks of the Hero Mechas.
  • Tobot R: A fire truck themed Hero Mecha unit. Kept blowing up during testing; he has since joined the ranks of the Hero Mechas.
  • Tobot D: A detective themed Hero Mecha unit. Currently in the ranks of the Hero Mechas.
  • Tobot Quatran: A combiner Tobot that combines W, C, R, and D. The workers put off any actual development until the individual components were finished, and as a result Quatran was completed over a year and a half after Tobot D's completion.
  • Constellation System: Powerful mecha given to trusted countries of the UAN. They can combine with certain others, giving them an advantage. If all five countries are working to accomplish something, they can combine into the Infinity Constellation. Units cannot hurt each other.
    • Ursa Unit: A giant silver bear mecha that has a robot mode, given to the USA.
      • Infinity Combination: The combination of all five Constellation units, symbolizing the union of the USA, Castilla, UnitedTerra, Shops Island and Francterre. As a heavy bruiser, it wields a giant hammer and can summon a force field and a gigantic cannon.
    • Taurus Unit: A red bull mecha. Compatible with Scorpio and Leo. Given to Castilla.
      • Eclipse Combination: The combination of Taurus and Leo, symbolizing the union of Castilla and Francterre. As a glass cannon, it can slow time for everything around it for a brief moment and fire electric bolts in exchange for not having any defensive tactics.
    • Scorpio Unit: A black scorpion mecha. Compatible with Taurus and Aries. Given to UnitedTerra.
      • Hurricane Combination: The combination of Scorpio and Taurus, symbolizing the union of UnitedTerra and Castilla. As a projectile user, it battles with a long shoulder-mounted gun.
    • Aries Unit: A white goat mecha. Compatible with Leo and Scorpio. Given to Shops Island.
      • Ghost Combination: The combination of Aries and Scorpio, symbolizing the union of Shops Island and UnitedTerra. As a technical fighter, it uses a top-shaped gravity increaser to pull opponents towards it, as well as a roulette mechanism that fires a specific type of explosive for the situation.
    • Leo Unit: An orange lion mecha. Compatible with Aries and Taurus. Given to Francterre.
      • Aero Combination: The combination of Leo and Aries, symbolizing the union of Francterre and Shops Island. As an aerial fighter, it uses jets to propel itself into the skies for aerial combat, firing missiles and an energy blast to take out its opponents.

In development[edit]

  • Trainbot S-Type: A robot modeled after Super EPT's Trainbot T-Type and a lion. Currently still being built in Area 33.
  • Never Obliterated Killer Insane Aegis (NOKIA) #3310: A completely indestructible shield that for some reason looks like an old cellphone. Don't drop it on the floor, you'll break it. The floor, we mean. Either way, still undergoing a few stability issues. So far, an explosive blowing up right next to it will damage it, but it should still function as a shield.
  • Project Delta: Deltatron: The next project for the team behind Quatran: a quick-footed boxing combiner as a contrast to Quatran's titanic strength. Still in the blueprinting stage; the combination involves X and Z, who may need retooling.
  • Megabeast System: The next project for the team behind the Constellation System: another set of combining machines for military purposes. Still in the blueprinting stage; the final combination is planned to be the "Barbarian Megabeast". Sq. Isles is considering distributing the individual components to different countries than the Constellation System, just to keep balance.

On hold[edit]

  • Unholy Revolver of Absolute Destruction (URAD): A massive revolver. Highly impractical due to the fact that no one would be able to hold it up to use... and not because it would explode if anyone tried to use it. It's unlikely to be scrapped at this point due to its appearance at the USA Presidential Elections 2016 and Super Smash Mates U.B.E.R.; it's kind of become Sq. Isles's mascot.
  • Mobile Phone Gun (MPG): A gun that looks like a phone. Due to the possibility of being abused by terrorists, it has been put on hold.

Cancelled[edit]

  • Advanced Shuriken Suit: A larger, stronger Shuriken Suit with a huge sword. One of the Square Islands' first huge projects that hadn't blown up in their faces. However, after the Power4U Affair, it was ultimately cancelled due to incompatibility with the HaOh Tank and left in Area 99.

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Relations[edit]

Although it does have a few very good relations, the Square Islands often gets a lot of flack because it defies almost every definition of a "country" out there. No one living there permanently, no existent economy, no president, no proper military other than loads and loads of giant robots, and the bizarre "areas", with some existing for no other reason than to make a joke about a number or something else. Many countries say that the Sq. Isles is only a country simply because it isn't owned by another country.

  • USA - Awesome! This is to be expected because the EPF and BoF both mainly exist within the USA.
  • Multiverse - Awesome! Various characters from the Multiverse come to help out.
  • South Joseon - Awesome! The South Joseon government approves of this project-country as long as they help them if North Joseon attacks.
  • North Joseon - Poor. Speaking of North Joseon, the government hates the idea of advanced robots being developed because they believe the power will be abused to destroy North Joseon.
  • Freezeland - Good. Freezeland, being USA's ally, naturally is also friends with the Square Islands. However, some High Penguins don't like the idea of an Armageddon island.
  • Caseusopolis - Awesome! Caseusopolis generally has a better relationship with the Square Islands than the USA because the Square Islands provided Caseusopolis with cheese generators and a ton of Eject Boxes to store and quickly take out cheese. In return, Caseusopolis gave them more cheese.
  • Add more!

Trivia[edit]

  • Allegedly, leakers have trespassed unauthorized territory and have discovered a growth ray in development. The current conspiracy is that the ray will be used to make the islands huge as part of a renovation plan. Allegedly.
    • Interestingly, a couple of months later, the leakers were found knocked out in the Ski Lodge. After proper investigation, the culprit has been concluded to be none other than these guys. Cue the X-Files theme!

See Also[edit]